fenrir Posted March 23, 2009 Report Share Posted March 23, 2009 =O Yea I know the territories, I'm fully aware of that, that's why I put the (If it's okay). But hell w/e. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiko11 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2009 well, I am sorry I can't accept your character. If you do indeed want to join fix said errors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted March 23, 2009 Report Share Posted March 23, 2009 No, it's okay. If I fixed said errors it will kill said character, making him just a supporting character with no importance what so ever. =( But good luck with your fic, I'll be paying attention to it ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiko11 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2009 kayy, thx anyway for reading it over, and I wish you godspeed on yours. (I am not religous, so I feel weird saying this :S) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted March 23, 2009 Report Share Posted March 23, 2009 Nah, I'm not religious at all, yet I love using that word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiko11 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2009 i know, right? Atheism is the way to go (I can't even spell it :P) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiko11 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 bumperz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen Hero Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 how you doing with the next chapter shiko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.:Abarai Renji:. Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 Yea, I wonder too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted March 25, 2009 Report Share Posted March 25, 2009 I repeat, text blocks = bad. Whenever a new character speaks or the focus shifts to a new character, put it in a new line. Will review more fully when above is completed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen Hero Posted March 25, 2009 Report Share Posted March 25, 2009 well at least that the only thing he has to change. so consider it a positive shiko that you've only got that to change Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted March 25, 2009 Report Share Posted March 25, 2009 well at least that the only thing he has to change. so consider it a positive shiko that you've only got that to change I repeat' date=' text blocks = bad. Whenever a new character speaks or the focus shifts to a new character, put it in a new line. [b']Will review more fully when above is completed.[/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen Hero Posted March 25, 2009 Report Share Posted March 25, 2009 at least it's the only thing you need to correct for now shiko there i corrected myself. happy now rinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiko11 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2009 I disagree with rinne. I don't see the matter, and I have no idea what text blocks are. I m starting to write the next chapter now. sorry that I was busy, as I have a life. Have. A. Nice. Day. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted March 26, 2009 Report Share Posted March 26, 2009 I disagree with rinne. I don't see the matter' date=' and I have no idea what text blocks are. I m starting to write the next chapter [b']now.[/b] sorry that I was busy, as I have a life. Have. A. Nice. Day. ;D Text blocks are massive sections of writing without any spacing in between. This can make it exceptionally difficult for the average reader to, well, read. Take the following, for example. [spoiler=Before...]..."Come here, Buddy. Give the poor guy a chance to get up!" At my command, the dog hopped of and waddled his tail to the window. He got up on his front paws to lick my hand from the windowsill.. "Tesaku! Would you beleive the weather? My mom is actually wearing sunglasses!" He hooted. "Y'know," he started. "Scientists say that the weather changes to the Diamond Dragon's feelings. He probably finally stopped resting from the last war." "I don't blame him. That was a long one!" I commented. "Hey... wanna go outside and fight? Stephanie says she wants to do something while the sun is out." Kedreth said. "Okay," I agreed, "But are you going to fight? I mean, you don't even have an element!" I pointed out. "I could watch... Whenever a new* character speaks, thinks, or has attention brought to them, put that sentence on a new line, as a general rule of thumb. *New, in this case, means that the character is not the same as the character that has immediately previously spoken, thought, or has had attention brought to them. [spoiler=...After!]"Come here, Buddy. Give the poor guy a chance to get up!" At my command, the dog hopped of and waddled his tail to the window. He got up on his front paws to lick my hand from the windowsill.. "Tesaku! Would you beleive the weather? My mom is actually wearing sunglasses!" He hooted. "Y'know," he started. "Scientists say that the weather changes to the Diamond Dragon's feelings. He probably finally stopped resting from the last war." "I don't blame him. That was a long one!" I commented. "Hey... wanna go outside and fight? Stephanie says she wants to do something while the sun is out." Kedreth said. "Okay," I agreed, "But are you going to fight? I mean, you don't even have an element!" I pointed out. "I could watch... D'ya notice how much easier that is to read? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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