Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 [spoiler=Human Story: Of Seth van Erebos][spoiler=Prologue: Infiltrator]The desert winds sent razor-sharp sand grains whirling through the air, careening about and striking whatever they came upon in torrents. This was all-inclusive; the stolid Geodudes, plunging their formidable fists into the sands deeply ingrained enough to resist the whims of the Anemoi, though they felt litte of the barrage; the cacti, buffeted like bobble-heads or Wobuffets despite their apparently stable roots; the queer, bus-like vehicle gliding over the sand on its sharp tires. Bluno cursed his ill fortune. Why did they have to come collecting on the same day as a sandstorm? Ordinarily, Gonzap ensured that collection dates would skirt around the sandstorm systems that plagued the gargantuan Orre Desert, but today was different, for some reason. Freshly Snagged whiners and a sandstorm... great. At least Baila was technically leading the mission. Having her leading him gave him a sense of security, that nothing could go wrong. In retrospect, Seth couldn't have picked a better day for his attack. There was a terrible grinding like nails on a chalkboard as sand impacted the hollow aluminium axles on the bus. Recognizing the danger — if this continued, the wheels could fall off — Bluno brought the transport to a screeching halt. There were groans of disappointment behind him, including Baila's melodious sigh. The Peon's heart beat a bit harder against his characteristic armor: it had been painted a dark blue in Baila's company... He allowed memories of his past dates with the senior Peon to flood his mind, but only briefly. Blinking, he concentrated on the matter at hand. If a wheel fell off, armor and bones could be damaged on the Peons unfortunate enough to be standing on the wrong side of the "bus". Some of the screechings had sounded bad, too... The soldier quickly manipulated the touch-operated schematics of the craft until he reached the rear axles. Minimal denting had occurred; most of the damage was routine, and the hollow tubes would soon straighten themselves out thanks to fluids released by the team's Lanturns. When he flicked to the front axles, however, the situation wasn't nearly so pleasant. This axle looked barely able to support itself. Bluno reached for the intercom. "Alright," he commanded in his most authoritative tone. "Everyone out." There was a wave of groaning, and several complaints. "Is it really that bad?" a voice asked painedly. Thersit had a habit of whining as such, but it was really endearing. He was soon backed up by a swell of followers, but Bluno remained steadfast. "Come up here and see for yourself if you want," the navy-armored Peon offered. "From the looks of it, the bus is barely standing as it is. We definitely can't move any further." Bluno, Baila, and a soldier called Rosso soon shepherded the groaning soldiers off the bus and onto the sands of Orre. From there, the team engineers began to inspect the damage. Two soldiers held the Lanturns responsible for keeping the axles straight in their arms. One squirmed nervously; Bluno guessed that this Lanturn was in charge of keeping the forward axles straight. "It's not your fault," he assured the anxious Peon. "It was the damned sandstorm. I'd like to see anything hollow stand those winds," he added defiantly. "I blame Gonzap," Rosso piped up. Bluno noted the vivid scarlet bands on his shoulder pauldrons as the guard continued. "He's never called us in a sandstorm before." "No," the lovestruck Peon agreed absentmindedly, raising an ovular device to his eyes. He tapped the screen to activate his P♦DA, hoping to scan the schematics. However, one item on the front page attracted his attention first. The gas levels. "Get down!" Bluno roared. He dove to the ground, partially burying his sophisticated helm in sand. Some of his compatriots were quick enough to follow him down. Some weren't; they were destined to suffer when the immediately following event transpired. The enormous Team Snagem compound on the horizon all but exploded. Thanks to the released gases, so did the bus. The standing Peons were knocked off their feet and burned. A sickening crunch indicated that one had suffered a breaking bone beneath his or her armor. Screams indicated that the standing soldiers had taken burn damage. The groups had switched places; those who had been standing were now on the ground, and vice versa. There were severe burns on their armor; Bluno guessed that there were similar burns on his own back. A glance at one of his comrades verified this hypothesis. Moaning and groaning, the afflicted group slowly rose to more comfortable positions — except one. This Peon's head was in an impossible position — he or she had to be dead. Bluno was momentarily paralyzed with terror. Was it Baila? No, he reassured himself; it couldn't be. Baila was an unfailingly sharp soldier; he thought he had seen the flash of her gleaming armor the instant he had called himself down. He'd better not have been hallucinating... "What... the..." His lover had spoken. Bluno watched, still numb with relief, as two soldiers tentatively stepped forward to reveal the casualty. It was Thersit, the pleasantly whining cadet Bluno had just recently accustomed himself to. "...He didn't deserve that," was Bluno's verdict. Sure, he was annoying, but he'd been starting to grow on the lovelorn soldier. Certainly, death wasn't a fitting punishment. "Gonzap has a lot to answer for," Rosso snarled vehemently, curling his fist. A beeping on Baila's communicator signaled a message from the number one most wanted man among them: Gonzap, the leader of Team Snagem. "Graah, the bastard!" Gonzap roared, furious. The belligerent team was taken aback by the enormous man's furious mood. Still, Baila found the courage to speak. "One of our men died in that explosion, Gonzap," she snapped. "And you never call us out at times like this. What's going on?" she finished. The behemoth could no doubt feel the combined glares of the squadron. "Listen, guys," he began to explain, still apparently hyperventilating, "one of ours — our best Snagger, no less — turned traitor on us! He's gotten away on that motorbike of his." A terrible silence fell; Bluno heard it impact the sands beneath him. Vengeance would not be easily won. Nor, for that matter, would be their lives. Baila wet her lips several times before launnching her inquiry. "You mean to tell us," she said finally, "that Seth has turned on us." "It gets worse," Gonzap fumed. His Skarmory squawked as it flew about the room he was in; it passed on the screen a couple times. "He got our portable Snag Machine prototype." Another silence. None of the group wanted to know if... "...it's functional," Baila whispered. The incensed juggernaut with a horned helm was incredibly intimidating, but the words out of his mouth were even more so. "It is." [spoiler=Pokémon Story: Of Thanatos van Erebos, Noctali sous Seth van Erebos] van Erebos = birthplace unknown or uncivilized; used for vagabonds and those whose hometowns were destroyed. NEXT: Prologue; Pokémon Story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davok Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 The prologue's awesome. I really like your writing, it flows pretty good. Can't wait for the next chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen-Dragoon Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Engaging, original and immaculately written. I would only have two minor complaints. First, I would like to see more Pokemon engaging with the story. The other is that the names seem slightly obscure but that's merely a personal preference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 I enjoy this fanific, I would like to see more of them if you don't mind. Maybe you can delve into how being snagged affects the shadow pokemon's mentallity and how being purified affects them as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 I enjoy this fanific' date=' I would like to see more of them if you don't mind. Maybe you can delve into how being snagged affects the shadow pokemon's mentallity and how being purified affects them as well.[/quote']Fear not; I plan exactly such a psychological exploration. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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