The Darkness Before the Dawn: A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic (Chapter 3 Now Up)

[Amethyst Phoenix]

[align=center]The Darkness Before the Dawn

A Kingdom Hearts Fan-Fic by Amethyst Phoenix

 

[spoiler=Chapter 1]As the sun lazily set over the horizon, Zierandrus gazed down at the world below. The vehicles speeding along the streets, the pedestrians window shopping as they ambled along the sidewalks, the flocks of doves soaring on the currents of air. As the cool breeze gently ruffled his hair, he took a lick of his sea-salt ice cream. He continued to stare down at world, marveling how insignificant everything looked from the top of the clock tower. How the wondrous statues were simply shimmering specks, the fields were small patches of green, the cars mere sparks traveling a circuit board of roads. As Zierandrus opened his eyes, a piercing roar shattered his pensive state of remembrance. He vaulted off the narrow pole of the skyscraper he had been perched on and down into the dark abyss he descended.

 

As he fell, memories rapidly flashed through his mind, bursting in one moment and dissipating before a second had passed.

“…one day you’ll need more than luck”

“..your mind is sharp, but even the finest rapier wit cannot cut with no force behind it.”

“..why?! why, couldn’t you save her?!”

“..do not fear the darkness, for it is all you have left.”

“…atrocities such as you deserve nothing but death, although I doubt you could feel death’s cold grip either.”

 

As the thoughts dissolved into the recesses of Zierandrus’ mind, he concentrated on the task at hand. As his feet met with the ground, he drew Khaross and sped to the source of the disturbance. Rising from the black void, shadows hindered his progress. For every step Zierandrus took, Khaross was swung 5 times. As each hit connected, the shadows exploded into a mist that quickly evaporated, leaving nothing but a glimmering, crimson beacon ascending into the heavens. At last, he happened upon his target. The darkside towered over the buildings around it; its scent unmistakably that of pure darkness. As Zierandrus shifted his gaze upwards, he drew his second blade and pushed onward, leaving a wake of upward drifting hearts. As he neared the source of the corruption, it lifted its massive fist skyward, and brought it crashing down. The darkside’s fist seemed to flow directly through the ground, creating a pool of darkness. As Zierandrus traversed the wretched expanse of the road ahead, he dismissed Khaross’ gemini, and firmly grasped Khaross with both hands. As neoshadows emerged from the ground, he thrust Khaross forwards, briefly impaling his assailants before they vanished into small puffs of darkness. He aimed his weapon in the direction of the darkside and gathered his energy. As one beam of swirling light erupted from the tip of his blade, another of all-consuming darkness followed suite. The two streams of energy intertwined in mid-air, forming a twilight torrent that disintegrated all the heartless that dared to cross its path. Moments later, the deluge of power hit its mark. As the darkside burst into thousands of hearts, Zierandrus slowly walked away. With a stride that exuded resolve, he made his way to the castle.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 2]

It was a typical sunny morning at Radiant Garden. As the sun slowly rose over the horizon, Zierandrus slammed the snooze button on his chocobo alarm clock. Zierandrus had almost drifted back to the comfortable state of being somewhat asleep yet still conscious, when a faint voice in the distance attempted to drag him out of his slumber.

“Wake up Zier, come on!”

Ugh, Squall. Will he ever appreciate the concept of Zierandrus’ sleepy time?

The crack-boom of a gun being cocked and fired resonated through the slightly opened window, rousting Zierandrus from his bed.

“Damn it, Squall! Stop screwing around with your little sword!”

“’Little Sword’? Last time I checked, this ‘little sword’ was looming over you as you crawled across the ground towards your weapon. And how did that weapon get all the way over to the other side of the field? Oh, right, it took a fireball right up its ass!”

Ugh, don’t remind me… Thought Zierandrus as he recalled a burst of flames scorching his protective gauntlets and launching his sword from his hands.

I’ll put his little “gunblade” on ice next time.

“I’m coming! Shut up before you wake the whole district!”

“They’re already awake, it’s noon you knucklehead!”

Great, I’m almost late for my fencing exam

Painfully slow, Zierandrus drowsily ambled over to the bathroom to get ready.

 

As Squall and a freshly dressed Zierandrus made their way to district 7, the louder of the two broke the silence.

“So, are you nervous?”

“Why would I be nervous?” asked Zierandrus, giving Squall an inquisitive glance.

“Your opponent today looks pretty tough, I mean have you seen how big his sword is?”

“It’s not the size of the sword that matters Squall, it’s the skill of the wielder.”

“I don’t know man, he looks pretty dangerous with that thing..”

“Perhaps he’s just overcompensating for a certain other possession of his?”

Squall and Zierandrus shared a hearty laugh as they made their way towards the Radiant Garden Swordsmanship Academy.

 

Arriving at the alabaster building, the duo made their way through the small entrance lobby and out into the bustling courtyard. They pushed through the crowd to their destination: a large, raised platform in the middle that was used for exams and demonstrations. They were greeted by their instructor, a somewhat wizened man who went by the name of Cecil. As the instructor walked over to them, Zier wondered how he could move so fast in that heavy armor.

“Alright boys, you ready for the big day?” inquired Cecil.

“Yes sir!” the two replied.

“That’s the spirit!” Shouted Cecil, beaming with pride.

“Squall, you’re up first. Your opponent today is Reno.”

“That goofball?! Couldn’t I have a bigger challenge? You know, like someone who actually has a real sword?” Exclaimed Squall in disbelief.

“Don’t you remember what I taught you? NEVER underestimate your opponent. That rod of his will zap your ass if you don’t watch out!”

 

Squall and Reno, a lanky individual wearing an unbuttoned suit over his white undershirt and expensive looking sunglasses on top of his head of wavy, crimson hair, stepped onto the platform. As their eyes locked, Reno remarked in a voice that radiated overconfidence “This chump’ll be a piece of cake!”.

“It was my understanding that cake was the spoils of the victor.” Squall retorted.

“BATTLE START!” the announcer shouted.

The two rushed across the platform at eachother, weapons drawn. As they neared eachother, Reno leapt to the side and swung at Squall. The swing was met with a backhanded slash, effectively parrying the attack as Squall’s momentum carried him onwards. Swiftly spinning around, Squall charged towards Reno with an overhead swing. Reno blocked the attack with his rod, the force of the blow driving him into a crouch. As Reno struggled to stave off the gunblade, he swung out his leg. His kick squarely met with Squall’s stomach, pushing him back. Squall quickly rebounded and met Reno’s follow-up with another slash, shoving him back a few steps. The two exchanged blows, each blocking and parrying the other’s attacks. After a few minutes of heated combat, Squall executed a powerful one-armed thrust. Reno jumped backwards and leapt on top of Squall’s blade. Using the blade as a makeshift spring, he propelled himself into the air. Landing behind Squall, he delivered a slash to the gunblade wielder’s exposed back. As electricity coursed through his frame, Squall fell to his knees. Reno did a back flip, landing a few feet in front of Squall, and sped in for the finishing blow. As Reno closed in, Squall slowly regained his bearings. He abruptly threw himself onto his back, Reno’s swing passing mere inches above him. As Reno brought the rod back to him for another go, Squall lifted his gunblade up and shot a burst of flames into Reno’s face. Reno brought his weapon up to block it, but he was thrown back by the sheer impact of the spell. As he crashed to the ground, he could hear the clatter of his rod hitting the ground several yards away. Squall wasted no time closing the distance between him and his now unarmed foe. He brought the gunblade around in a wide arc, stopping the blade but a centimeter away from Reno’s neck. As Reno shut his eyes fearing the worst, the booming voice of the announcer sounded. “VICTORY! SQUALL LEONHEART!”

 

Squall turned around and casually strode off the platform, leaving Reno still quivering on the ground.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 3]

“Great job out there!” bellowed Zierandrus as Squall climbed down from the platform.

“Thanks, Zier! It was no prob-”

“You were reckless”, remarked Cecil in a tone that sent chills down Squall’s spine.

“But I won-”

“You barely recovered from that blow to your back. That same blow was a result of a careless swing. Even the fireball that claimed your victory was a fluke. It was rushed; you weren’t focused. It could’ve just as easily flew right past him, or even have blown up before it left the barrel. Sure you won, Squall, but one day you’ll need more than luck.”

Sobered by his mentor’s wise, yet razor sharp words, Squall’s mood visibly sunk.

“But, you made the best out of a bad situation. You were very resourceful, and showed great determination. I’m proud of you, Squall.”

A smile escaped Squall’s sulking visage as he nodded.

 

While Zierandrus contemplated his master’s words, another figure leapt onto the platform. He wore a blue outfit with metallic gray shoulder pads. His hair was a bright yellow, and rather spiky. But the most distinguishing feature about him was not in what he wore, but rather, what he carried. The man wielded a massive sword, almost as big as himself.

“I take it he’s my opponent?” asked Zier in a tone that echoed with slight disbelief.

“Correct,” answered Cecil, “His name is Cloud, and he’s one helluva beast with that blade.”

“Terrific...” replied Zier with a sigh.

“Hey! Focus! You can beat this guy; I have faith in you Zierandrus!”

“Yeah, Zier, you’ll cream this guy!”

Encouraged by his friend’s and mentor’s confidence, Zierandrus made his way to platform.

 

 

“May the best man win.” Offered Zier.

Cloud made no reply as he continued to stare at Zierandrus.

“BATTLE START!” came the booming voice of the announcer.

Zier drew his weapon, a long, silver sword with a magically imbued ice crystal set in the middle of the blade. Cloud wasted no time beginning his assault. No more than a second had passed before Cloud had seemingly vanished. As Zier scanned the arena for his foe, a shrill whistle sounded in the air.

The sound of metal slicing the very air itself thought Zier

He barely swiveled and raised his blade in time to block Cloud’s lightning fast thrust. Cloud uttered a quiet “hmph” as he jumped back from Zierandrus and was eclipsed by his astounding speed. Zier searched the field for his opponent. The all too familiar whistling sounded again, preceding yet another dashing thrust. He narrowly avoided being skewered; rolling to the side not a moment too soon. Cloud did not wait for his opponent to recover. Zier survived yet another thrust that came too close for comfort.

Damn it! I can’t play this defensively. I’ll just tire out, and then I’ll be easy pickings for that sword.

Zier evaded yet another strike that almost ended the battle.

Jeez he’s fast! I don’t even have time to think.

He quickly ducked after being alerted by the shriek of the air.

That’s it!

Zier stood his ground, blade readied. Sure enough, there was the whistle yet again.

Now!

Without hesitation, Zierandrus invoked the crystal embedded in his blade. The swirling air that permeated his foe during the charge immediately froze around him. Slowed, Cloud’s momentum continued to carry him, shattering the ice. Having lost his balance as a result of Zier’s clever trap, Cloud tumbled to the ground. Zier sped towards his vulnerable opponent. However, Cloud quickly brought his massive weapon up to catch Zier’s powerful downward thrust. As Cloud pushed the blade forward, Zierandrus was forced to back out of its deadly trajectory. Cloud was back on his feet in a flash, speeding towards Zier. Cloud swung at him as he brought his sword to bear against Cloud’s large blade. Block, dodge, parry, riposte. The cycle continued as the two faced eachother in heated combat. Cloud pressed the assault, his blows raining down harder and harder.

I’m getting nowhere with this, I have to do something before one of these attacks hits so hard that my sword is shattered

As Zier recovered from another earth-shaking blow, Cloud swung his sword in a wide arc. As the blade plummeted towards Zierandrus, a thick wall of ice materialized in front of it. The majority of the attack’s force having been expended on the chilly barrier, it did not take much effort on Zier’s part to bat Cloud’s swing to the side. Taking his chance he delivered a devastating slash to Cloud’s exposed front. Cloud staggered backwards, attempting to regain his balance. But Zierandrus could not afford to squander this opportunity, and continued to bring the attack to his now wounded opponent. Zier’s blows continued to push Cloud back further and further, then into a crouch, and finally knocking the spiky haired swordsman onto his back. As Cloud continued to parry his assailant’s attacks, he reached into his pocket with his free hand, withdrawing a small vial and a gleaming golden orb. Cloud mustered his strength and kicked at the Zierandrus, catching his leg and knocking him backwards. Cloud utilized the brief reprieve as a chance to recuperate. He uncorked the vial and quaffed the potion from its vessel. As the healing was taking place, he slammed the orb into an open slot in his blade. Lightning crackled and coursed through Cloud. This fight was not over yet.

 

 

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[Nexev]

...Wow.

 

Epic but you failed to give any character development, just went straight into the action. Take some time, let us know who he is.

 

Also I demand a random cameo for no reason whatsoever.

[fenrir]

...Wow.

 

Epic but you failed to give any character development' date=' just went straight into the action. Take some time, let us know who he is.

 

Also I demand a random cameo for no reason whatsoever.

[/quote']

 

This, all of this.

 

While the fight scenes were pure epic, it's not as good if we barely know anything about Zierandrus.

[Nexev]

He says he's gonna use a flashbacks for charecter develpoment, I'm not sure how well that would work out though.

[Amethyst Phoenix]

He says he's gonna use a flashbacks for charecter develpoment' date=' I'm not sure how well that would work out though.

[/quote']

Or I could always tarantino it.

[Nexev]

Which is?

[Amethyst Phoenix]

First scene is set toward the end or halfway through the story, then after that it starts from the beginning and progresses normally until the story catches up with the opening scene. Then it keeps going until the end.

 

Also, the 4 quotes he remembers are all important scenes. You can guess some of his backstory by pondering the quotes for awhile.

[Zexaeon]

It's interesting, but like Nex said, it's also difficult to know why exactly anything is happening right now, due to the lack of character/plot development.

 

=O Shed more light upon this next chapter.

[Amethyst Phoenix]

Chapters 2 & 3 are up!

[Zexaeon]

=o This one wasn't quite so interesting. I think you spend too much time describing the fight scene, and not enough time actually telling a story.

 

>_> Now bear in mind, this following piece of advice is not meant to brag, but: If you take a look at that chapter I just wrote in my fic, you'll notice that the fight scene which takes place throughout almost the entire chapter is not just one long fight scene; there are several bits of dialogue within the fight, and it is broken up several times by other scenelets.

 

Typing out one long fight scene with just fighting, especially with so little dialogue before hand, can bore the reader. =O There's my constructive criticism.