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Cards about Rozen Maiden (please comment)

KamuiK

By KamuiK
in Casual Cards

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KamuiK Newbie

KamuiK

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So yeah, I make cards about the Rozen Maiden Anime. I had to set them into Spoiler tags because there are already 25 cards in total and it will probably increase even further. ;)

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[spoiler=Monster Cards:]

Suigintou & Shinku

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Kanaria & Hina-Ichigo

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Suiseiseki & Souseiseki

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Kirakishou & Barasuishou

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Laplace's Demon & Detective Kun Kun

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Freddy the Clown

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[spoiler=Spell Cards:]

Artificial Spirit & Feather Sword

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Peace Contract & Twin Force

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Childish Play & Imperfection

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Doll Creation & Scissors of Life

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Blessing of the Rosa Mystica & Watering Can of Life

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[spoiler=Trap Cards:]

Unholy Alliance & Doll Suitcase

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Mysterious Rose Ring & Megu's Energy

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Please comment on them.

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~Ghost Rare~ Newbie

~Ghost Rare~

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Make sure to capitalize Summoned, Deck, Graveyard, Trap, Spell things like that, played activated

 

These seem good despite the few OCG errors, they have interesting effects will be looking forward to seeing more.

 

1 thing do Rosen Maiden: Kirakishou is overpowered you could draw 6 cards in 1 turn thats overpowered

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KamuiK Newbie

KamuiK

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Well, these are updated regularly. On Monday or after I will upload further ones, just need satisfying pictures. If you could tell me at least a few OCG errors (I am not used to it because I am still new), I would be glad. Anyway thank you.

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KamuiK Newbie

KamuiK

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Yes, but the problem is I tried several different types of writing the effect, and this is the shortest form so far, because the longer the effect the smaller the letters of its description -> more and more unreadable. Also, no comments about the other cards?

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Baroque in Paradise Newbie

Baroque in Paradise

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Suigintou: Handled quite well. Nicely done.

 

Shinku: A decent effect, with decent stats to make it balanced. However, I do hope the need to destroy the spell/trap was intentional -- if it says 'you may destroy' then it's optional, but with 'destroy' alone it's mandatory.

 

Kanaria: Flip is spelled with one 'p', and for Flip Effects, it's worded like this:

 

FLIP: [insert effect here]. [Any other effects beyond the Flip Effect are listed after the card].

 

Kanaria, cont.: Also, you might want to read up on Trap Master and reference his effect for Kanaria's -- he does roughly the same thing, though I do seem to gather that you intend for it to be that if you hit a Spell instead of a Trap, you get to draw for it.

 

Hina-Ichigo: Same syntax error as the above, but beyond that it's solid-perfect.

 

Suiseiseki/Souseiseki: You don't need to say 'This effect is commulative', desu. If you don't say that, it's taken on faith that that's the case -- case in point, Command Knight. Also, here's a way to word the effect a little nicer (to use Suiseiseki as an example; for Souseiseki, swap in the appropriate card name):

 

'While this card is face-up on your side of the field, all copies of "Rozen Maiden: Souseiseki" you control gain 400 ATK and DEF.'

 

Barasuishou: Interesting effect, though the upkeep might be a little low for her; however, if you either A) get rid of the 'remove from play' portion or B) dumb down her ATK a bit (or Take A Third Option and do both), you'll be able to get away with it.

 

Kirakishou: Equally-interesting, but . . . here's a way to word the effect better:

 

'When this card is Summoned, you may roll a six-sided die once, and draw cards equal to the number rolled. If a 6 is rolled, this card is destroyed instead.'

 

Kirakishou, cont.: The reason why I omitted the second part of the effect is because it's unneeded -- the rules of the game itself provide for that.

 

I'll start on the Spell Cards next, but for now consider what I've had to say so far and be sure to not take offense at anything I say -- I'm only here to try to lend a helping hand.

 

Though, I've already started looking through the cards and one thing sticks out . . . 'Blessing of the Rosa Mystica' -- it seems to be quite . . . unbalanced. Granted, it is Spell Speed 2 and thus Counter Traps are beyond its dimense, but it doesn't change the fact that it's costless negation without a play condition -- if you make it so that it only works if you have a Rozen Maiden monster or give it a cost related to them, that would improve the quality of the card as a whole.

 

So again, keep my words in mind and I'll be posting later with further critique and aid. Enjoy your evening.

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KamuiK Newbie

KamuiK

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Suigintou: Handled quite well. Nicely done.

 

Shinku: A decent effect' date=' with decent stats to make it balanced. However, I do hope the need to destroy the spell/trap was intentional -- if it says 'you may destroy' then it's optional, but with 'destroy' alone it's mandatory.

 

Kanaria: Flip is spelled with one 'p', and for Flip Effects, it's worded like this:

 

FLIP: [insert effect here']. [Any other effects beyond the Flip Effect are listed after the card].

 

Kanaria, cont.: Also, you might want to read up on Trap Master and reference his effect for Kanaria's -- he does roughly the same thing, though I do seem to gather that you intend for it to be that if you hit a Spell instead of a Trap, you get to draw for it.

 

Hina-Ichigo: Same syntax error as the above, but beyond that it's solid-perfect.

 

Suiseiseki/Souseiseki: You don't need to say 'This effect is commulative', desu. If you don't say that, it's taken on faith that that's the case -- case in point, Command Knight. Also, here's a way to word the effect a little nicer (to use Suiseiseki as an example; for Souseiseki, swap in the appropriate card name):

 

'While this card is face-up on your side of the field, all copies of "Rozen Maiden: Souseiseki" you control gain 400 ATK and DEF.'

 

Barasuishou: Interesting effect, though the upkeep might be a little low for her; however, if you either A) get rid of the 'remove from play' portion or B) dumb down her ATK a bit (or Take A Third Option and do both), you'll be able to get away with it.

 

Kirakishou: Equally-interesting, but . . . here's a way to word the effect better:

 

'When this card is Summoned, you may roll a six-sided die once, and draw cards equal to the number rolled. If a 6 is rolled, this card is destroyed instead.'

 

Kirakishou, cont.: The reason why I omitted the second part of the effect is because it's unneeded -- the rules of the game itself provide for that.

 

I'll start on the Spell Cards next, but for now consider what I've had to say so far and be sure to not take offense at anything I say -- I'm only here to try to lend a helping hand.

 

Though, I've already started looking through the cards and one thing sticks out . . . 'Blessing of the Rosa Mystica' -- it seems to be quite . . . unbalanced. Granted, it is Spell Speed 2 and thus Counter Traps are beyond its dimense, but it doesn't change the fact that it's costless negation without a play condition -- if you make it so that it only works if you have a Rozen Maiden monster or give it a cost related to them, that would improve the quality of the card as a whole.

 

So again, keep my words in mind and I'll be posting later with further critique and aid. Enjoy your evening.

 

Probably one of the most helpful advises I ever got on these forums. I am thankful for any and every POSITIVE advise and any kind of help. So now step for step:

Suigintou: My personal favorite anyway, and she stands out, thus the effect.

Shinku: Yes, the effect is a MUST, if you cannot destroy a card, you still loose the 'Horie' counters. Btw, it is only against spells.

Kanaria: Changed along your advise.

Hina: Same as Kanaria.

Twins: Changed according to advise.

Barasuishou: It is the intention to have her a strong card according to the anime, and she stands out anyway because of her origin. I took option D and increased the amount of LP needed for both the stay and kill ability instead.

Kirakishou: Just as twisted as Barasuishou. Reworded according to your advise.

Blessing of the Rosa Mystica: Added a LP pay to use it.

 

That is it, thank you very much again for this comment, and yes I took it by heart. On a side note, this card set are nowhere finished, more will be added and some stats are likely to change.

 

The clown one isn't all that great' date=' and you misspelled "FLIP:"

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I know that 'Freddy' is not all that great, but he is not supposed to be either. He is of the kind of those monsters which make a set more interesting, because no card is like the other. If all cards would have great effects and high strength, it would be just as useless as the other way around IMO. Though I maybe change him into a Tuner later.

I know I misspelled 'FLIP', although I have 1 English card where it is written as 'Flipp' (which is German spelling).

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