Epitath of Twilight(The Wave/The Phase) .hack//

[shatteredfox]

Epitaph of the Twilight Excerpt:

 

[align=center]Wave soars and shrouds the eyes.

No means to fight an omnipresent force,

The shadowless ones just grieve.

Why must it be a Wave?

Divide, if it would just...

Then retaliate, we may.[/align]

 

As we stand in utter awe. Riding the Wave is Skeith, the Shadow of Death, to drown all that stands.

[spoiler=Card Lure]When this card destroys a monster, place a Terror Counter on Phase One Skeith Terror of Death. During your Battle Phase, tribute 1 Terror Counter and destroy a Spell. Trap, or monster card. Tribute 1 Terror Counter and you can attack your opponent directly with this card. If a Terror Counter is tributed your Battle Phase ends immediately.

 

 

Mirage of Deceit, Innis, Betray all with the flawed image, and did aid the Wave.

[spoiler=Card Lore]When this card is destroyed in Battle, select a card from your deck. The opponent than must guess if the card is Spell, Trap, or Monster. If they guess incorrectly, Innis is returned back to the field and the card is sent to your hand. If they guess correctly both Innis and the card are removed from play.

 

 

And by the Power of Magus, a drop from the Wave doth reach the heavens, and creates a new Wave.

 

With the Wave, Fidchell, the power to tell the dark future, hope darkens, sadness and despair rule.

 

Gorre schemes when swallowed by the Cursed Wave.

 

Macha seduces with the sweet trap.

 

Wave reaches the Pinnacle, and escape none can. Tarvos still remains with more cruelty to punish and destroy.

 

And with the turbulent destruction after the Wave. Only a void remains. From deep within the void arrives Corbenik.

 

[spoiler=Card Lure]This card cannot be targeted by magic or trap cards as long as "The Dark Void" is in effect on the field. When this card targets a monster in Battle, destroy the Spell or Trap card directly behind the monster without activating it's effect. If there are no Magic or Trap cards directly behind the targeted monster, inflict 1000 to your opponent All monsters destroyed by Corbenik is removed from Play. You must tribute 1 card at your End Phase or this card is destroyed.

(yes I am aware of how terrible the picture is, I'll fix it later.)

 

[align=center]After the destruction over the Keel Mountains,

Meets an ape with human speech.

The ape asks,

"What clings to you?

Bear it - you cannot.

Accept it - you cannot.

But hidden - it is from you.

Recite it's name." the name it is gone,

the Ape gives a large wry smile

"Recite your name." The name it is gone,

everything is gone, all that is left is you.

Or maybe, you're gone and you are but away from

Everything in your own little Twilight.[/align]

 

Please criticize what you like what you didn't like. Also especially the wording on the effects, not an AVID yugioh fan and don't have much cards, but I love to create stuff(lol.)

 

(also first post~ *confetti* *fireworks*)

[MohamedH.]

Yow!

Its cards like these that u dont see anywhere else.

OCG 10/10

Pic 10/10 (a bit fuzzy)

Not too over powered

Overall 10/10

you have what it takes to be a ture YCMaker!

[shatteredfox]

Yow!

Its cards like these that u dont see anywhere else.

OCG 10/10

Pic 10/10 (a bit fuzzy)

Not too over powered

Overall 10/10

you have what it takes to be a true YCMaker!

 

really 10 O.O, haha did not expect that. Also yeah it's fuzzy, I am not very good at making renders, unless you mean the static behind the monster's. Than actually, that's there trademark.(also changing the size probably influenced the fuzzyness, *shrugs* whatever.)

 

and a true YCMaker XD. Thanks, I might end up becoming one(making cards is addicting ;_;. . .)

[fish-eye]

WOW! great cards! i love playing .HACK

 

you got talent. 10/10

[Baroque in Paradise]

. . . This unpleasant feeling . . .

 

My Grammar Nazi Id is acting up again.

 

Try reading up on some card texts and reformat your card text so that it actually fits that of actual cards, please.

 

Beyond that, I can't help but find some flaws in your effects -- Skeith will kill itself, Magus combos a bit TOO well with Tarvos, and Tarvos is downright broken all on her own (from how I read it, if your opponent's monster dies during their turn she gets to attack no matter what, even though it's their turn, and has 3000 ATK to do so with); Ritual Spells leave the field unless they say otherwise (so you might want to say otherwise), and Corbenik . . . too high-powered an effect. Any monster it battles gets downed to 0 (instant kill), and you hopefully meant to give it Yubel's cost of one monster per turn but as it's written you could Tribute a face-down Trap you control instead.

 

Fidchel, interestingly enough, is actually the one that is not only the least broken out of all of them, but wholly interesting (quite original, in fact). Easy to break the game like a ripe melon when combo'd with Convulsion of Nature, but that's half the fun of cards like that. Innis, on the other hand, is also a bit inventive, with some good combo potential and she's got decent stats for an effect like that.

 

Meanwhile, on the note of Gorre . . . you don't say by how MUCH you decrease the opponent's monster's ATK or DEF with its effect; you might want to change that.

 

Hope these tips help you.

[shatteredfox]

. . . This unpleasant feeling . . .

 

My Grammar Nazi Id is acting up again.

*puts on Anti-Nazi shield on* ok' date=' I'm ready.

 

Try reading up on some card texts and reformat your card text so that it actually fits that of actual cards, please.

 

Will do, but if possible give an example for which cards? Anyways, I'll look up some cards and see if I can work on it.

 

Beyond that' date=' I can't help but find some flaws in your effects -- Skeith will kill itself,[/quote']

I was trying to make Skeith's effect to give fear, but I guess that doesn't make sense to give him such a high attack than. I will rethink the effect lol.(haven't noticed how useless it made Skeith)

 

Magus combos a bit TOO well with Tarvos' date='[/quote']

 

What do you mean? If you mean he can summon him without the need for the three cards in the graveyard, than it doesn't but I can probably reword Tarvos to fix that.

 

 

and Tarvos is downright broken all on her own (from how I read it' date=' if your opponent's monster dies during their turn she gets to attack no matter what, even though it's their turn, and has 3000 ATK to do so with);[/quote']

 

That must be misreading on your part,(I still can't see how you get that.)

 

His effect is that he is able to attack during his opponent's turn if the player with Tarvos has a monster on his field destroyed he attacks.(unless it's Tarvos for obvious reasons.)

 

Ritual Spells leave the field unless they say otherwise (so you might want to say otherwise)' date=' and Corbenik . . . too high-powered an effect. Any monster it battles gets downed to 0 (instant kill), and you hopefully meant to give it Yubel's cost of one monster per turn but as it's written you could Tribute a face-down Trap you control instead.[/quote']

 

Ok thanks, and man he is overpowered. Haven't noticed, but that one monster could work.(and what's Yubel? I assume another card, if so than yes I did.)

 

 

Fidchel' date=' interestingly enough, is actually the one that is not only the least broken out of all of them, but wholly interesting (quite original, in fact). Easy to break the game like a ripe melon when combo'd with Convulsion of Nature, but that's half the fun of cards like that. Innis, on the other hand, is also a bit inventive, with some good combo potential and she's got decent stats for an effect like that.[/quote']

 

thanks Innis is still my best, but interesting enough I thought Fidchell was a bit overpowered O.O.

 

Meanwhile' date=' on the note of Gorre . . . you don't say by how MUCH you decrease the opponent's monster's ATK or DEF with its effect; you might want to change that.[/quote']

 

This is a terrible typo on my part, I ment halve the ATK(or DEF) of the enemy monster. Except I forgot to put it ;_; idiot me. . .

 

Hope these tips help you.

 

they do(and some were some misread or typo on my part.) I really hope you do reply again though. Also nice avatar, Heaven's Feel is still my favorite route.

[shatteredfox]

*Updated

 

-fixed typos

-attempted to fix OCG as I can

-Changed some card's effects

-Was finally not lazy to bump this from the 3rd page(close to the 4th lol)

[Baroque in Paradise]

Try reading up on some card texts and reformat your card text so that it actually fits that of actual cards' date=' please.[/quote']

 

Will do, but if possible give an example for which cards? Anyways, I'll look up some cards and see if I can work on it.

 

Well, I did just mean to do it in general -- just browse your card collection and make a note of the effects that tend to crop up often such as Stampeding (my term for when a monster gains ATK during its own attack), Piercing (either wording of it, the usual one or the Lazybones Jones version used on Cyberdark Horn), draw effects, Gyroid's effect, negation effects, etc., and try to keep their wording (as well as they themselves) in mind when making themes in the future -- it helps when trying to write both tried-and-true and new-and-unique effects (case in point, my attempts at writing the effect of Berserker from FSN were aided in part by my study of Goblin Attack Force and Berserk Gorilla).

 

Magus combos a bit TOO well with Tarvos' date='[/quote']

 

What do you mean? If you mean he can summon him without the need for the three cards in the graveyard, than it doesn't but I can probably reword Tarvos to fix that.

 

Erm . . . actually, I didn't mean that at all -- it's just the fact that if you find a way to dump 3 Phases in the Graveyard you'll be able to Summon Tarvos lickety-split and spoil everyone's day.

 

and Tarvos is downright broken all on her own (from how I read it' date=' if your opponent's monster dies during their turn she gets to attack no matter what, even though it's their turn, and has 3000 ATK to do so with);[/quote']

 

That must be misreading on your part,(I still can't see how you get that.)

 

His effect is that he is able to attack during his opponent's turn if the player with Tarvos has a monster on his field destroyed he attacks.(unless it's Tarvos for obvious reasons.)

 

So you're saying that if she kills a monster, then she gets to attack during your opponent's turn as well (forgive my use of 'she' for Tarvos, it's just that I tend to refer to the G.U. versions of her, Innis, and Gorre using female pronouns)? *sigh* That's possibly a little more dangerous, though I think I might be able to come up with a different wording that accomplishes the same thing:

 

'When this card destroys a monster as a result of battle during your turn, during your opponent's Battle Phase you may force one Attack Position monster your opponent controls to battle this monster.'

 

Alternately, have its effect be that 'during your opponent's Battle Phase you may destroy one Attack Position monster with less ATK than this card or one face-up Defense Position monster with less DEF than this card's ATK (the monster is treated as having been destroyed as a result of battle).'

 

Of course, I can't help but prefer the 'force battle' effect over the second one, though the second one seems more true to your ideal.

 

Ritual Spells leave the field unless they say otherwise (so you might want to say otherwise)' date=' and Corbenik . . . too high-powered an effect. Any monster it battles gets downed to 0 (instant kill), and you hopefully meant to give it Yubel's cost of one monster per turn but as it's written you could Tribute a face-down Trap you control instead.[/quote']

 

Ok thanks, and man he is overpowered. Haven't noticed, but that one monster could work.(and what's Yubel? I assume another card, if so than yes I did.)

 

Yubel is a monster who appeared in YGO GX as Jaden's worst nightmare (a homicidal, twisted-minded, yandere-grade jealous stalker); her in-game stats are that she's Level 10, Fiend-type, and has 0 ATK and DEF . . . but her effect is that if attacked, neither you nor her takes any damage, instead having it all dealt to your opponent's Life Points -- however, you have to Tribute a monster each of your End Phases or else she dies. Also, if killed by an effect other than her own, she can summon out her next form, the Level 11 'Yubel - Terror Incarnate', which has the same effect but instead of requiring tributes, kills all other monsters each of your End Phases; from there, Yubel can evolve (when Terror Incarnate leaves the field by any means) into 'Yubel - The Ultimate Nightmare' (or as I prefer to call her, 'Yubel - Das Extremer Traurig Drachen' [the Gratuitous German OCG {Official Card Game} name for her]) . . . which kills whatever it battles and deals all the damage to the opponent.

 

But enough of that overly-long note; it's nice that you've noticed (and openly admitted) that you overpowered Corbenik (I honestly would have expected an effect pertaining to his inherent ability, Rebirth, but whatever floats your boat I guess).

 

Meanwhile' date=' on the note of Gorre . . . you don't say by how MUCH you decrease the opponent's monster's ATK or DEF with its effect; you might want to change that.[/quote']

 

This is a terrible typo on my part, I ment halve the ATK(or DEF) of the enemy monster. Except I forgot to put it ;_; idiot me. . .

 

Hm. Well, so long as you noticed it (which you have) and intend to change it (which you already have at the time of writing), everything's fine.

[shatteredfox]

(screw quote pyramid :P)

 

Back onto Tarvos(my OCG is bad that we are having disputes of the effect.)

 

so they say examples are 1000 words.

 

It's your turn(and I have Tarvos out on the field, I stick to *he* because of .hack//Infection-Quarantine. Granted they are genderle-whatever offtopic)

 

and you attacked and destroyed my Skeith. The effect would allow me still in your Battle Phase to attack a monster be it the monster you had who killed my Skeith or another monster on the field to avoid a 2nd attack.

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Next on the agenda, umm...To be honest, I haven't played cards in 2 months. However I watch people duel during class and you obviously don't forget every knowledge in a subject in 2 months. But I am in lack of cards, can you recommend sites that have lists of cards and effects?(I found 2 sites. 1 Which periodically goes down and the Yugioh wiki I have a bit of a trouble Navigating)

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Yubel is a dick(that is all)

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Yeah but that would still require 3 entire rounds and 4500 Life Points to get the 3 cards. Than another 1500 life points and a round to summon Tarvos. Which is 75% of your Life Points.(assuming you never draw any Phase cards)

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EDIT: (just throwing out ideas as they hit me slowly at 3 AM)

 

Corbenik is indeed "Rebirth" however he doesn't really do what his name states(unless in .hack//G.U it's different in the 3rd/4th Game. Don't spoil lol)

 

it was more of a rewrite(well I guess that is technically rebirth) and does everything through weakening it's bounds and letting it destroy itself or something take care of it.

 

and this time rather than doing the effect by his title, I'm more or less doing it based on his AoE attack pattern lol.

 

but meh, my boat get off it :3.

[Baroque in Paradise]

Back onto Tarvos(my OCG is bad that we are having disputes of the effect.)

 

so they say examples are 1000 words.

 

It's your turn(and I have Tarvos out on the field' date=' I stick to *he* because of .hack//Infection-Quarantine. Granted they are genderle-whatever offtopic)

 

and you attacked and destroyed my Skeith. The effect would allow me still in your Battle Phase to attack a monster be it the monster you had who killed my Skeith or another monster on the field to avoid a 2nd attack.

[/quote']

 

Oh, so it attacks when your OPPONENT kills a monster, OK then. Well then, here's my revision with that development in mind:

 

'When your opponent destroys a monster you control as a result of battle, once during your opponent's Battle Phase you may force one Attack Position monster your opponent controls to battle this monster.'

 

Or just: 'When your opponent destroys a monster you control as a result of battle, you may force one Attack Position monster your opponent controls to battle this card.'

 

However, I would suggest giving it a cost to use its effect, such as a discard or Life Point cost.

 

================

Next on the agenda' date=' umm...To be honest, I haven't played cards in 2 months. However I watch people duel during class and you obviously don't forget every knowledge in a subject in 2 months. But I am in lack of cards, can you recommend sites that have lists of cards and effects?(I found 2 sites. 1 Which periodically goes down and the Yugioh wiki I have a bit of a trouble Navigating)

================

[/quote']

 

I don't have any sites that I could recommend other than the wiki for what you're looking for, I'm afraid, beyond the commerical website 'yugioh-cards.net', though I mostly use that for price checks more than anything (their images become abysmal once the pack falls to the wayside, and they update their stock VERY, VERY infrequently)

 

However, here's some YGOWiki-browsing tips: my advice for you would be to look through it (Yugioh Wiki) by the packs if you're just going through to browse, or by looking up a card that has the sort of effect you're trying to write (e.g., for the effect of a monster that Stampedes, look up either 'Jain, Lightsworn Paladin', 'Crystal Beast Topaz Tiger', or 'Steamroid'), or something you feel might be similar, as a reference material.

 

Though just browsing through boosters and looking at what interests you is arguably an easy way to get inspired by the various new themes.

 

Another good idea would be to accompany your duelist friends to the local hobby store, if you're either A) wanting to learn just what's popular and/or on the market these days, B) wanting to get back in the game (hobby stores usually have nice discounts, such as how my local hobby store has 100-card blocks for a dollar each), or C) just wanting to know more about certain cards.

 

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Yeah but that would still require 3 entire rounds and 4500 Life Points to get the 3 cards. Than another 1500 life points and a round to summon Tarvos. Which is 75% of your Life Points.(assuming you never draw any Phase cards)

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It's not as hard as all that -- 'Foolish Burial', discard costs, and 'Painful Choice' all speed that up pretty fast, meaning you'll only pay that 1500 LP and laugh as your opponent frets over whether to waste your Innis or not.