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My first KH cards plz rate and comment (4/??) Axel Added!!


Dark Lightning

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Not bad for a first try. I like Kingdom Hearts very much, and these cards really catch my eyes.

 

The art needs to be less squashed on Soras card, and Riku is squashed length-ways. And the effects are a tad off, but I can live with that. Here's a tip - go read Silent Swordsmans effect and use the wording from that for Sora.

 

5/10. Not too shabby.

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OCG fixes for you:

 

Sora...

 

'When this card is Summoned, you can add 1 Level 5 or lower monster with "Sora" in its card name from your Deck to your hand. A monster added to your hand by this effect cannot be Summoned this turn.'

 

Riku . . .

'Once every Battle Phase, you may Tribute one Warrior-type monster you control to increase this card's ATK and DEF by 500.'

 

^ Don't know if 'points' is necessary or not.

 

Now for critique:

 

Sora: Need to see what else you have in store before I can give this one an accurate critique. However, name-wise . . . it's spelled 'wielder'.

 

Riku: Interesting, though you might want to make it so that he loses the ATK/DEF he gains after ea. turn or he'll become increasingly broken despite the Tribute cost. And about my OCG fix, you don't really need it to say that it works if it was successfully summoned unless you intend to make it so that it only works with a specific type of Summoning (Normal, Flip, Special, etc.).

 

Names: There is such a thing as commas -- if you want, you could use them instead of the '-'s you have squashed up next to the names.

 

Apart from that, congratulations for not giving me anything else to complain about; that's a good thing.

 

EDIT: You added in Roxas, I see. Let's look.

 

OCG Fix: 'Place 1 Organization XIII Counter on this card during each Battle Phase. This card can attack your opponent's Life Points directly. When this card has 3 Organization XIII Counters on it, it is destroyed.'

 

Or alternatively, 'Place one Organization XIII Counter on this card at the end of each Battle Phase.' to be substituted.

 

Review of Card: AUGH. You were doing so good! But a 2100 ATK monster that gets to attack directly twice -- it kills itself on your next turn because you don't specify whose Battle Phases it gets the counters in, an OK nerf in itself -- for a total of 4200 damage? THAT'S LEVEL 5? AUGH. Either decrease its ATK further or make a cost for it to attack directly or SOMETHING, but please, please do SOMETHING to make it less broken.

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OCG fixes for you:

 

Sora...

 

'When this card is Summoned' date=' you can add 1 Level 5 or lower monster with "Sora" in its card name from your Deck to your hand. A monster added to your hand by this effect cannot be Summoned this turn.'

 

Riku . . .

'Once every Battle Phase, you may Tribute one Warrior-type monster you control to increase this card's ATK and DEF by 500.'

 

^ Don't know if 'points' is necessary or not.

 

Now for critique:

 

Sora: Need to see what else you have in store before I can give this one an accurate critique. However, name-wise . . . it's spelled 'wielder'.

 

Riku: Interesting, though you might want to make it so that he loses the ATK/DEF he gains after ea. turn or he'll become increasingly broken despite the Tribute cost. And about my OCG fix, you don't really need it to say that it works if it was successfully summoned unless you intend to make it so that it only works with a specific type of Summoning (Normal, Flip, Special, etc.).

 

Names: There is such a thing as commas -- if you want, you could use them instead of the '-'s you have squashed up next to the names.

 

Apart from that, congratulations for not giving me anything else to complain about; that's a good thing.

[/quote']

 

I would'nt correct OCG on threads, instead PM them. You can get like 20% added to your warning meter....

 

 

Anyway, nice KH cards, before J-Man left, he had the most epic KH set... You could eventually surpass his. Keep them coming.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Not bad for a first try. I like Kingdom Hearts very much' date=' and these cards really catch my eyes.

 

The art needs to be less squashed on Soras card, and Riku is squashed length-ways. And the effects are a tad off, but I can live with that. Here's a tip - go read Silent Swordsmans effect and use the wording from that for Sora.

 

5/10. Not too shabby.

[/quote']

 

nothing more needed

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