josh = jaden Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 i want to make this card perfect so if you think its OP tell me i need sum opinions Newly worded Effect:This card can only be Ritual Summoned with "Final Savior". This Attack Position card is not destroyed as a result of battle battle for two turns. When this card is Summoned, you can pay 1000 Life Points to Special Summon up to 4 "Savior Tokens" (Fairy-Type/LIGHT/Level 1/ATK 0/DEF 0). These Tokens cannot be Tributed. During your Standby Phase, destroy all "Savior Tokens" you control and Special Summon the same number of your removed from play "Savior" monsters. The ATK and DEF of this card is determined by the combined number of stars of the four Special Summoned ‘Savior’ Monsters X200. HELP !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iknowwhatyoudid Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Effect:This monster cannot be Normal Summoned, Special Summoned or Set. This card can only be Ritual Summoned by the Ritual Spell card 'Final Savior' if 10 or more 'Savior' monsters are removed from play. This card cannot be attacked for two turns. You can only use the following effect if this card is the only monster on your side of the field. During your next Standby Phase, pay 1000 Life Points to summon 4 'Savior Tokens' (LIGHT/ATK 100/DEF 100) onto the field / During your next Standby Phase, pay 1000 Life Points to summon 'Savior Tokens' (LIGHT/ATK 100/DEF 100) equal to the number of adjacent spaces in your monster card zone. Pay additional 500 Life Points so the 'Savior Tokens' cannot be destroyed (Battle Damage is halved). During your second Standby Phase, destroy the 'Savior Tokens' to Special Summon 4 LIGHT Attribute 'Savior' monsters from out of play. this card gains ATK and DEF equal to the total level stars of the 'Savior' monsters Special Summoned by this effect X100. Then again, I'm not perfect... but this is correct. I'm not sure about the out of play term... I think the pic may be offending to some people? (religious matter) I don't know... Maybe not? There's no such type as you specified... No fakeys...Another thing, I hate 12 stars...^Thats just me... maybe other people even want 13 stars to exist... 7/10, take it or leave it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josh = jaden Posted May 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 thanks for pointing out the OCGs , ill sort that out but i want to know if ppl fink its OP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iknowwhatyoudid Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Nah, it depends on the total level stars, so, not I think. Lets say 1 monster - (4-5 stars) x 100 = (400-500) x 4 = (1600-2000), so maybe underpowered?Its hard to get (7-8 stars) = (2800-3200) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhHerro Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 How can it be Ritual-Fusion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josh = jaden Posted May 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 oops wat a mistake didnt realize , sorted it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iknowwhatyoudid Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 hah, even i didn't realise that... btw, editted the second post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josh = jaden Posted May 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 cant you tell im a newbie haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Sloth~ Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Okay... first of all, I think it should be Fairy-Type, not Winged-Beast. Winged Beasts are usually bird/human hybrids, while your card is an angel (the Fairy type is actually called Angel in the Japanese version). When the effect text gets that small, it's really a sign that you should shorten it. I make it a habit to always simplify the effect or reword it if its too long, even if you have to leave some stuff out. Rather than merely correct your OCG as others have done, I'm going to help you simplify the effect so it's a bit more readable. First, get rid of the first sentence. It is implied that Rituals can't be Normal Summoned, so the card doesn't include that. Also, I'd get rid of the10-removed-monsters Summoning restriction. Its power depends on the number of monsters it can Summon, so it really shouldn't matter how many you have removed from play in the first place, since the less you have the less powerful it will be. Change "can't be attacked", which in correct OCG would be "cannot be selected as an attack target" to "is not destroyed by battle", which is a bit shorter. Next, we'll move the two effects up a turn, by having the first one activate as soon as it's Summoned and the second one during the next Standby Phase. Make the effect more versatile by choosing how many Tokens to Summon, and make the cost per Token. Add in a "no-Tribute" effect and get rid of the anti-destruction option to avoid abuse and save space. Lastly, the power-up is a problem. It's not really OP, since by pulling 4 Level 4's at an average of 1500 ATK per monster it stands at an unimpressive 1600 ATK. However, the other monster's total ATK can be much higher. What I would suggest is that it only gains ATK when one of the monsters is destroyed, but make it 500 instead of 100. Also, to make it easier for your opponent to deal with, we'll limit its anti-destruction effect to Attack Position, so your opponent can at least attack you for damage while you have a 4-monster wall up. Here's my version of the effect. I checked in the card maker, and it's relatively readable: This card can only be Ritual Summoned with "Final Savior". This Attack Position card is not destroyed by battle. When this card is Summoned, you can pay 500 Life Points per Token to Special Summon up to 4 "Savior Tokens" (Fairy-Type/LIGHT/Level 1/ATK 0/DEF 0). These Tokens cannot be Tributed. During your Standby Phase, destroy all "Savior Tokens" you control and Special Summon the same number of your removed from play "Savior" monsters. When a monster Summoned this way is destroyed, this card gains 500 ATK x its Level. It's quite different from the original effect, but it's nice and brief and a bit more balanced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 uh...it's nearly impossible to even COLLECT 10 Saviors... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josh = jaden Posted May 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 SLOTH : thanks for the re wordKENTA THE FORBIDDEN ONE : ive created quite a lot of 'Saviors" an im still in the process of creating more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josh = jaden Posted May 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2009 BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chizuruotohime Posted May 31, 2009 Report Share Posted May 31, 2009 its kinda neat ~!! 8/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.