Yu-Gi-Oh! Darkness Revelation PLEASE LOCK

[EAK63]

This is my idea of a Yu-Gi-Oh! series. It's called Yu-Gi-Oh! DR (Darkness Revelation).

 

STORYLINE

 

Millions of years ago, a creature from a distant planet destroyed it's home so it can find a better planet, it chose Earth.

Then in Ancient Egyptian times, the Phantom Beast fought the 5 brave pharaohs and lost. It then got locked away for 5000 years. But now in modern times, it escaped, and it split up into 5 different parts, each to infect one of the pharaohs' reincarnates.

Then, in Karagus Island, Archie Rhodes finds out that he has been fostered by his best friend's parents. His parents were killed by the Phantom Beast when it tried to infect Archie when he was a baby, but his parents had sacrificed themselves to keep Archie safe.

Then, Archie's foster brother Johnny, has become infected with 2 parts of the beast. He then challenges Archie to a duel to infect Archie but he loses, and he infects him anyway!!!

Then Archie meets with his rival Rikoryu, who had stolen Archie's Power Tool Dragon. They then have a battle and Archie loses, Rikoryu then gets infected and sucks out Archie's bad part, making Archie faint.

Johnny and Rikoryu then duel, and Johnny loses, with the same happening to him as Archie. It turns out that Rikoryu has always been infected since birth. When Archie recovers, the two then find out what is going on and soon become friends. As they search for the other parts of the beast, they come across Johnny, who is still infected, he then re-infects Archie, and the two try to find the other beast parts so they can summon back the beast. After the 4th part is found, Joanna Anderson, the group then figure out that the 5th part is either one of their friends, Victor, Joseph, Sarah or Jane. The group then have to find out how to stop this beast from being summoned, while also trying to stop their Dark Spirit with from taking over.

 

So what do you think :D oh yeh, here's some character profiles:

 

NAME: Archie Rhodes

AGE: 16

DECKTYPE: Back from the Graveyard

SIGNITURE CARD(S): Power Tool Dragon

PART IN STORY: Main character. Parent's killed by Phantom Beast, he later gets taken in from the Robinson family. Later get's infected.

 

NAME: Johnny Robinson

AGE: 16

DECKTYPE: Mutants

SIGNITURE CARD(S): Mutant King

PART IN STORY: Second-Main character. His family takes in Archie. Best friend's with Archie. Get's infected by beast.

 

NAME: Rikoryu Tekishi

AGE: 18

DECKTYPE: Infinity Beasts

SIGNITURE CARD(S): Infinity Beast, Lord of the Overworld, Infinity Beast Lord of the Underworld.

PART IN STORY: Third-Main character. He has always been Archie's worst enemy, until he can finally control his beast part. He gets infected by the Phantom Beast.

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Here's the logo by the way, the logo is not the card, the logo is the picture on the card:

 

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:D:):lol:8):P

Me trying to smile: :o

 

Tell me if you like the logo, expect character images and some cards soon. :o

[Kendo Fish]

Err, three things.

 

ONE: Isn't the storyline supposed to be explained in, I dunno, the story?

 

TWO: Attachments. Aren't. Aloooooowwwwwwwwed.

 

THREE: Whenever you add an apostrophe to most words that end with "s", it means "word is". So according to your description, Archie's parent is killed by Phantom Beast, he later gets taken in from the Robinson family. Later get is infected. See how much sense that makes? SEE HOW MUCH SENSE THAT MAKES!?!? *shakes kid by shoulders crazily*

 

But, seriously, you should fix that. Once you write the first chapter/prologue, you will have to go through the emotional torment that is the WEATHER REPORT.

[EAK63]

Oh, sorry about that. :(

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Btw, the character profiles were supposed to be short like that.

[EAK63]

The attachment was an accident. :(

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Good news guys! I started writing episode 1. Btw, The non-talking parts are just quick writing, please don't complain about it. Anyway here it is:

 

Archie sleeping in bed. Everything is dark. Then a noise is heard. It gets pitch-black. Quiet screaming noise. Archie mumbles in sleep. Johnny is watching TV. Flicking through all the TV channels.

 

JOHNNY: Man, there’s nothing on. Whoa!!

 

Leaps up.

 

JOHNNY: I’m the last one awake!!

 

Noise moves downstairs. Gets pitch-black.

 

JOHNNY: Whoa! What’s happeniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii……

 

Light comes back. Johnny has an evil look. He has becomes Toriché.

 

TORICHÉ: YES!! A BODY AT LAST!!!! Now I must get Archie Rhodes…

 

Zooms into him.

 

TORICHÉ: …AND DESTROY HIM!!!!

 

Archie looking out window.

 

ARCHIE: Ugh. I can’t stay like this. He stole my Power Tool Dragon. That was my favourite card. And he also took all my other good cards. I gotta’ get them back. No matter what.

 

Johnny comes in.

 

JOHNNY: Hey Archie, still thinkin’ about what Rikoryu did?

 

Archie looks at Johnny.

 

JOHNNY: Oh, obviously. Don’t worry bro, he’s just a jerk.

 

ARCHIE: Can we just stop talking about him.

 

JOHNNY: Um, ok.

 

Dad comes in.

 

DAD: Archie, Johnny, there’s something I need to tell you both.

 

ARCHIE: What is it dad?

 

DAD: Well, that’s kind of it. Ok, you two. You know the legend about the Beast?

 

JOHNNY: Dad, everyone knows that story.

 

DAD: Well, here’s a part that you don’t know. After it got locked away, it needed revenge, so 10 years ago it split up into 5 separate parts, each to infect the modern incarnations of the brave pharaohs. And, Archie. This part should hit you the hardest. You are not a Robinson.

 

Archie looks at him with mouth wide open, speechless.

 

DAD: When you were a baby, the beast part 1 came to your house and tried to get to you but your parents managed to get it away by sacrificing themselves. They knew that this was going to happen, so they were prepared. The Rhodes were best friends with us Robinsons so they left you with us. That’s your surname. Rhodes. So you grew up with us while we knew this secret. And now you know.

 

Goes to the next day at school.

 

TEACHER: Alright boys and girls, we have a new student today, he just moved from Japan so welcome him…

 

Rikoryu Tekishi walks up. Goes over to Archie. Archie has an angry sharp stare. Rikoryu gives it back.

 

ARCHIE: Tekishi. (Whispered)

 

RIKORYU: Robinson. (Whispered.)

 

TEACHER: So you can sit next to…

 

Looks around for seats.

 

TEACHER: Ah ha! There’s a spare one next to Archie Rhodes there.

 

Rikoryu sits down.

 

RIKORYU: So, decided to get a name change?

 

ARCHIE: I have personal information.

 

Goes to lunch on field.

 

ARCHIE: So why dya’ chose to come back.

 

RIKORYU: I got a bit lonely without my Archie. (Giggles.)

 

Archie snares.

 

RIKORYU: So, anything new? Still collecting cards?

 

ARCHIE: Well, duh.

 

RIKORYU: Me too. So, I challenge you to a duel!!!

 

ARCHIE: You’re on.

 

Johnny runs over.

 

JOHNNY: Archie, there’s something I need to show you.

 

Johnny grabs Archie’s collar and pulls him away.

 

ARCHIE: We’re not done Rikoryu.

 

Rikoryu smiles and laughs. Johnny stops in a dark place.

 

ARCHIE: What is it?

 

JOHNNY: We haven’t duelled in a long time.

 

ARCHIE: Fine, a real duelist takes on every challenge.

 

Duel mats and decks are set up. They both draw 5 cards. Johnny turns into Toriché.

TORICHÉ: I’ll go first.

 

ARCHIE: Um, Johnny, what happened to your voice?

 

TORICHÉ: I am no longer Johnny, I have been taken over by the 2nd part of the Phantom Beast and am now called Toriché. See, Gorion who’s trying to get you failed 10 years ago, couldn’t give up, so after they got me last night, it was a matter of time before I could be able to get you, because, Gorion and Toriché have infused me, so I need to send over Gorion, this can only be able by beating you in a duel.

 

ARCHIE: NOT IF I ESCAPE!

 

Jumps up and tries to open door. It is locked.

 

TORICHÉ: You can only escape after the match, If I win, you will get infected by Gorion, BUT, if you win, you can escape and we’ll leave forever.

 

ARCHIE: If I can go first.

 

TORICHÉ: Fine, go on then.

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So, what'ya think???? :):):)

[Kendo Fish]

Before I review this very harshly, you show know that SCRIPT FORMAT IS BANNED.

 

It looks pretty crummy, so crummy that it actually got banned here.

[EAK63]

Whoops!! Didn't know, sorry. :oops::oops::oops::oops::oops:

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I'll rewrite it as a chapter.

[AfterBurner™]

not being horrible or nothin but it sounds good but why did you sorta tell us whats gonna happen wouldn't that just give away the only real way to make this fan fic good people like mystery and suspense in stories

[EAK63]

Sorry.

[AfterBurner™]

no no, don't apologise, it's a great story your just new (btw even though i'm new here aswell i read the rules alot) learn from your mistakes

i'm sure this fan fic will become popular in due time

good luck with it

[EAK63]

Thanks!!!! :):):) Btw, can you check my toher posts as well, hope you like them :Lol:

[Rideouter]

Yeah, I started out the same as you. My first work was worst than this though. Great start!

[EAK63]

Thanks. I'll write the first duel right now between Archie and Toriché.

[Kaisu]

WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH

What the heck is it with double/triple/quadluple posting?

Use this-

[spoiler=Title]Chapter[/spoiler]

AND STOP MULTIPLE POSTING!!!!

This reminds me of PKMN Platinum(YES, YOU STARLY!!!!)

DON'T JUST SAY SORRY AND DO NOTHING!!!!

IF YOU DO THIS, YOUR JUST GONNA FAIL!!!!

[EAK63]

Ok, geez. Does nobody like it at all?

[EAK63]

Here's the first duel. Btw, Toriché is the name of Johnny when he's infected by the beast, and credit goes to DarkSigner32 for inventing the Galespire cards. He gave me permission to use them. Anyways, here it is:

“I’ll go first!” Said Archie, “Now I summon my Galespire Lurker in attack mode!”

Giant Green octopus thing enters the field with 1000 ATK and 1400 DEF. And no, It’s not Squidward.

“I’ll then play 2 cards face-down to end my turn.”

“In that case I draw!” Said Toriché picking up a card.

As he looked at the card he drew, he gained a big smile, which turned into a laugh.

“That’s not good.” Archie mumbled to himself.

“I’ll play my Alien Hunter in Attack-mode!” Giggled Toriché.

A big, turquoise lizard-like creature with armour and a pitchfork appears on the field. It has 1600 ATK and 800 DEF.

“That’s not all!” Said Toriché “I also activate the Continuous Spell Card, “A” Cell Breeding Device!!!”

A long, orange test tube appears behind Alien Hunter. It has some grey blobs inside it.

“What is that? Is it the government?” Archie yelled.

“No, it’s my “A” Cell Breeding Device Spell Card. And if you want to know what it does, wait till’ my next turn. I’ll place 2 cards facedown and end my turn. Your up!”

Archie gets scared.

“I-I’ll Dr-r-aw!” Picks up a card. “I’ll S-s-summon m-my Gales-s-pire Deep Fog Min-n-er in attack position!”

A big rock-like creature appears on Archie’s field. It has 100 each of ATK and DEF.

“Now I can equip it to my Galespire Lurker to increase it’s-s-s ATK b-by 300!”

Galespire Lurker’s ATK rises to 1300.

“I’ll end my turn.” Archie said.

“I’ll go again. I draw! Now the effect of my Breeding Device kicks in, I get to place 1 A – Counter on your Galespire Lurker!”

A grey blob launches out the test tube and lands on Galespire Lurker.

“Now! Alien Hunter, ATTACK!” Screamed Toriché.

Alien Hunter runs towards Galespire Lurker.

“Not so fast! Since you attacked my Galespire monster, I can Special Summon my Galespire Sand Veil and negate the attack.” Archie says, more confident.

Giant sandy golem appears. It has 500 ATK and 1300 DEF.

“My turn, I draw!” Archie picks up a card.

“Now my Sand Veil is destroyed, but I use my face-down Monster Reborn to bring it back!”

Sand Veil shatters to pieces, which then join back together.

“HA! Fell into my trap!” Yelled Toriché

“Huh?”

“When you Special Summon a monster I can activate my Ship Crash Trap Card! This card can only be played when you Special Summon a monster from the Graveyard! I can inflict damage to you equal to the ATK of 1 “Alien” monster in my hand. I choose…” Says Toriché turning around a card in his hand revealing…

“MY COSMIC HORROR GANGI’EL!”

Archie gasps.

Big ray beam shoots into Archie, lowering his life points to 1400.

“Then I play my Detonator Circle “A”! This card destroys your Galespire Lurker and inflicts 1000 damage to you!”

Galespire Lurker shatters and Archie’s life points become 400.

“MY DRAW! I’ll play my Spell Reclamation Trap Card! This card returns Monster Reborn to my hand!”

Toriché keeps smiling.

“I’ll then use Monster Reborn to Special Summon my Galespire Lurker from my Graveyard!” Archie yelled.

“Now I tune my Galespire Sand Veil with my Galespire Lurker and my Galespire Deep Fog Miner, to Synchro Summon…”

Galespire Sand Veil turns into 2 green rings, which go around Lurker and Deep Fog Miner. Lurker and Deep Fog Miner lose colour, then become 6 Blue balls. The blue balls become a shot of light.

“GALESPIRE RAMPAGE!”

Big rock dog thingy appears. It has 2400 ATK and 1100 DEF.

“Now I equip it with Galespire Rage, this card allows it to attack you directly!”

Toriché gasps.

“GALESPIRE RAMPAGE, ATTACK!!!!!!”

Galespire Rampage shoots out rock shards that hit Toriché. His life points become 2600.

“It’s not over!” Said Toriché.

“Oh it is.” Said Archie.

“Huh?”

“You see, after the monster equipped with Galespire Rage attacks you directly, I must tribute the equipped monster and this card, to inflict 3000 damage to you!” Archie says smiling.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Screamed Toriché as all the cards disappear.

Big orange beam shoots Toriché, knocking his life points down to 0.

“Now, let me escape.” Said Archie.

“NO!” Screamed Toriché, his eyes glowing red.

Red beams shoot out Toriché’s eyes and hit Archie. Archie wakes up as the evil Gorion.

GORION: Ha ha ha! 2 down, 3 to go!

Gorion’s laugh gets louder and louder. Archie, has just been infected by the beast.

 

So, how is it. Please tell me I got it right. :P

[EAK63]

Attention! yu-gi-oh! dr is now moving over to Role Playing. Can someone please lock this. If you still like it, please join in Role Playing version.