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i think its the best ive made yet...


ThecrowcardMaster

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This just might be the best ive made yet XD

 

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PLZ RATE AND COMMENT

 

Pentagonal Warriors Effect

 

[align=center]This card can only be Ritual Summoned with the Ritual Spell Card.

"Pentagram Tribute". You must also offer cards whose Level Star equals 8. Destroy all Fiend-Type monsters on your opponents side of the field. Equip 1 of the cards destroyed by this cards effect, when this card is attacked destroy the equipped monster card. you may use this effect for all cards destroyed by this cards effect. [/align]

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Guest Merciful Idiot

Just some sort of fix. Anyway, it's kind of OP'd because you can destroy all Fiend-Type monsters just like that. Or am I missing something? I don't get the last sentence of the effect.

 

This card can only be Ritual Summoned with the Ritual Spell Card "Pentagram Tribute". Destroy all Fiend-Type monsters on your opponents side of the field. Equip 1 of the cards destroyed by this cards effect to this card, when this card is selected as an attack, you can destroy the equipped monster to negate the attack. you may use this effect for all cards destroyed (?).

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The fix made the effect unnessacery because, the equipped monster makes no sense. All it does is get destroyed. Does it negate the attack or prevent the card from being destroye. The effect is more unclear now. Also you wrote you can only use it on 1 monster then you wrote you can use it on all monsers. The effect is terrible, makes no sense, and the card got worse. 3/10 now. Fix the effect.

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You should write in the card "If this card were to be destroyed by battle you can destroy one equipped monster to this card instead." That will make it more clear. If you fix it to have that effect it will be better. And also write "Desroy and equip as many fiend type monsters on your opponents side of the field to this card. So then the effect is: "This card can only be Ritual Summoned with the Ritual Spell Card "Pentagram Tribute". You must also offer cards whose Level Star equals 8. Desroy and equip as many fiend type monsters on your opponents side of the field to this card. If this card were to be destroyed by battle you can destroy one equipped monster to this card instead." Then I'll say 8.3/10 be cause that would be more clear and it would make the card better.

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Hm. Alright, let me start with the name: Frankly, it could be better. 2800 Ritual Monster? Something like that should have a cooler sounding name. Or at least something a little less generic than "Warrior".

 

The pic:

Its plain. It also has nothing to do with pentagons. Which makes it....bad. I would suggest finding a different pic, preferably one that relates to pentagons in some way (for example: Alucard from Helsing has pentagons on his gloves...)

 

The effect:

A minor OCG tweak that you might want to know:

Old OCG uses "offer", new OCG uses "Tribute", also, I don't think you need "Stars", "Level" is fine by itself.

 

" Equip 1 of the cards destroyed by this cards effect, when this card is attacked destroy the equipped monster card. you may use this effect for all cards destroyed by this cards effect. "

 

This part needs major revision. Right now, what this effect means is that you equip one of the destroyed Fiend monsters, and when Pentagonal Warrior is attacked, the Fiend is destroyed, regardless of anything else. I think what you wanted was:

 

Select 1 of the monsters destroyed by this effect, and equip it to this card as an Equip Spell Card. When this card would be destroyed by battle, destroy the Equip Spell Card instead.

 

You can just cut out the last line of that effect, as it is already implied by "Select 1 of the monsters destroyed by this effect"

 

Well, this effect doesn't have anything to do with Pentagons either, what's going on?

Pentagons are most commonly known for summoning demons and such, right? So why would it A)destroy fiends, and B)give mild protection to this card?

 

I would think a "Pentagonal Warrior" would in turn summon more fiends to the field, to do combat alongside him.

 

Right now, I think what needs the most work is the flow of the card...none of it matches up. The name, effect, and pic all look like they were chosen randomly.

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Actually, re-looking at the title, it makes even less sense :q

 

"Pentagonal" is more of...the shapes (you know...pentagons)

Although "Pentagramal" sounds incredibly stupid.

 

I would probably change the name to something like "[enter cool sounding name], the Pentagram Warrior"

 

If you want to keep the whole "pentagram" theme going on.

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