Huntar! Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 God's Gift-Prince Hunter Back at the startThe beginning of timeGod gave me a gift;For you you to be mine. Forever and nowNow and foreverI'd never have youBut i never say never. Destiny means somethingTo some people I knewLong, long agoWhen we were threw. At night I dreamAnd tend to rememberRemember rememberWay back in December. Back at the startThe beginning of weI gave you a gift;Love you could see. Still to this dayYou pop in my headIt ended that wayAnd I wished I was dead. And sometimes I cryFeeling nostalgicLove wasn't returnedFeels like black magic. I then stay awakeThe nights I dont dreamRight on the sofaWith a bowl of ice cream. With laptop in handI type you this poemThese words are friendsIf only I knew them. Your smile that dayBroke through the skyAnd from then came summerAnd then you had cried. You loved it allMore than you could meBut its ok nowBecause now I can see. I see what it meantFor you to do thatI see how it feelsTo need a pat on the back. But thats so hardSo I'll hug you insteadWith you in my armsMy face then turns red. I'm now completeNow that i have youI'll never let goBabe, you know thats true.------------ I dont want constructive criticism on this poem. This was written for someone really close to me. I hope you guys enjoy it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
「tea.leaf」 Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 I think you got dumped. Yeah, you definitely got dumped. Why can't the men on YCM just man up and get over themselves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 I think you got dumped. Yeah' date=' you definitely got dumped. [b']Why can't the men on YCM just man up and get over themselves[/b] Where's the fun in that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyber Altair Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 Being down is kinda fun and helpful =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
「tea.leaf」 Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 What a load of pussies? No wonder you guys can't hang on to your women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyber Altair Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 What a load of pussies? No wonder you guys can't hang on to your women. pfft. I hold on to my women pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Womi Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 What a load of pussies? No wonder you guys can't hang on to your women. You'll be surprised, Madame, but we can hang on womens better than you, harharhar. And I'm not a rabbit. To the poem:You enjoy writing this type of lyric, amIrite?I didn't read the whole thing, but that's my stupidity, nothing you should care of. I liked the...style. I don't see it often. But will you try a happy poem later? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megami Seika Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 T_T epic and i can keep a girl if i wasent with my bf lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Womi Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 T_T epic and i can keep a girl if i wasent with my bf lol You managed to get a BF?O.O XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snitch Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 Hunter and his damn Christian crap. >> Hunter and his damn relationship crap. >> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntar! Posted August 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 I think you got dumped. Yeah' date=' you definitely got dumped. Why can't the men on YCM just man up and get over themselves?[/quote'] Not really dumped, you'd have to understand the situation. And you're a guy. LOL Being down is kinda fun and helpful =P Inorite? What a load of pussies? No wonder you guys can't hang on to your women. Shut up' date=' before you piss me off. What a load of pussies? No wonder you guys can't hang on to your women. pfft. I hold on to my women pretty good. Sometimes women aren't worthy of holding on to. What a load of pussies? No wonder you guys can't hang on to your women. You'll be surprised' date=' Madame, but we can hang on womens better than you, harharhar. And I'm not a rabbit. To the poem:You enjoy writing this type of lyric, amIrite?I didn't read the whole thing, but that's my stupidity, nothing you should care of. I liked the...style. I don't see it often. But will you try a happy poem later?[/quote'] Happy is for happy people. T_T epic and i can keep a girl if i wasent with my bf lol T_T epic and i can keep a girl if i wasent with my bf lol You managed to get a BF?O.O XD Topic' date=' or leave. Hunter and his damn Christian crap. >> Hunter and his damn relationship crap. >> Snitch, STFU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 Awesome Poem I cried T.TIt was sad and depressing... poor you...D= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntar! Posted August 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 you seriously cried? I must be better than I thought with words. =o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 yes.. ^^;the poems touchingly sad.. and sadly I've been in a situation close to that before =/ and I feel for anyone who goes through it.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntar! Posted August 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 I'm glad this poem meant something to you, and thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehmani Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 Hunter and his damn Christian crap. >> At first I thought it would be some weird hymn-style Magnificat thing' date=' but it wasen't actually religious. Hip-hip, hooray. [b']Anyhow, I like it.[/b] Get rid of the God-Squad stuff though.I lol'd REALLY hard.FOCUS ON THE BOLD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntar! Posted August 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Womi Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 What a load of pussies? No wonder you guys can't hang on to your women. You'll be surprised' date=' Madame, but we can hang on womens better than you, harharhar. And I'm not a rabbit. To the poem:You enjoy writing this type of lyric, amIrite?I didn't read the whole thing, but that's my stupidity, nothing you should care of. I liked the...style. I don't see it often. But will you try a happy poem later?[/quote'] Happy is for happy people. >l<.>l< NO! And...you should accept critic as it comes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntar! Posted August 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 No thanks, I dont want a critique on this poem. And besides, its practically a song if you move it around a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGAKITTY Posted August 17, 2009 Report Share Posted August 17, 2009 I liked how it started out, but I felt as though the poem started to disintegrate as it progressed am not allowed to critique it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BehindTheMask Posted August 17, 2009 Report Share Posted August 17, 2009 I lol'd. Hard. Any way, this poem is too much Q_Q for me and needs more PEW PEW Women suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Womi Posted August 17, 2009 Report Share Posted August 17, 2009 I lol'd. Hard. Any way' date=' [s']this poem is too much Q_Q for me and needs more PEW PEW[/s] Women suck. where is your gif-animation? DxThe "I'm boxxy, you see?"! Put it right in there again! on topic:We mustnt say anything bad about it???ImpossibleBut thats the sense of our posts! We say you what to improve! Coz weee r teh expurtz! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HORUS Posted August 17, 2009 Report Share Posted August 17, 2009 This poem made me lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntar! Posted August 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2009 Then Horus, shut up, and go away. BehindTheMask, yes, put your gif animation back up while we're off topic. Now lets fix that now. Lets start to get on topic. And you can say bad stuff about it, I just dont want a critique. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HORUS Posted August 17, 2009 Report Share Posted August 17, 2009 Then Horus' date=' shut up, and go away. BehindTheMask, yes, put your gif animation back up while we're off topic. Now lets fix that now. Lets start to get [b']on topic[/b]. And you can say bad stuff about it, I just dont want a critique. Bad stuff is part of a critique. On topic: The poem lacks originality and a sense of flow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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