Jerry OldMaster Posted November 23, 2007 Report Share Posted November 23, 2007 Good, good. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kocrow17 Posted November 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2007 I'm glad you guys liked this chapter. I wasn't sure how good it'd be without dueling. But don't worry, the next one will be the best chapter yet. Clovis VS Icarus! You won't want to miss it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry OldMaster Posted November 23, 2007 Report Share Posted November 23, 2007 Neat. Another rep coming up. You're the best Fan-Ficker on the site! Don't say that too hard, even Steven has to admit The Forgottem Workd is a legendary fan fic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwhale Posted November 23, 2007 Report Share Posted November 23, 2007 Most Fan Fics written I usually think are unoriginal or boring but, this one caught my attention. I really actually like it. Well done God Kaze. Very Original. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kocrow17 Posted November 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2007 Thanks for the posts everyone! I want to see a lot of responses for this next chapter. It's probably my personal favourite of the four. CHAPTER 4! NEW CHARACTER:[i do not own this character design. I merely use it as an example to the likeness of my character. I do not claim ownership of it.] Icarus was leaning over a window’s edge. His arm outstretched and holding onto Naomi’s hand. She was dandling helplessly against the wall of the building. “What are you waiting for? Pull me up!” she yelled up at him. Icarus tightened his grip and pulled her up though the window and into the empty classroom. “Thanks, I don’t know if there’s anyone else I would have trusted with that.” “No problem,” said Icarus holding out a bag. “Here’s your school uniform back.” “Oh, right. Thanks” Naomi had almost forgotten she was still wearing your Dark Magician Girl outfit. “I better hurry and get this back to the Fan Club,” she said as she started to get undressed. “I’ll put it back for you, just make sure you send Clovis my way.” “No problem! Expect him at the Black Dorm in about an hour.” Dueling too Close to the Sun! “Naomi! I’m glad you’re all right!” Clovis had just spotted her in the hallway. He ran up to her waving. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Naomi asked. “Well, you just jumped off of the roof...” “What? I think you’re crazy. I wouldn’t be here if I had.” “But I was so sure...” “It doesn’t matter. Anyway, you have to head to a small building behind the Blue Dorm. You have to... um, feed a cat! Yup, some stray cats been hanging around there and the students are worried he’ll starve to death.” Naomi put on a fake smile. Clovis looked suspiciously at her for a moment before heading off to the location of the supposed cat. * * * * * “Wait, a minute. What am I supposed to feed it?” Clovis stopped suddenly. He had reached the small building behind the impressively large Blue Dorm. The small black building behind the blue dorm was about the same size as the DMG Fan Club building. “I hope you’re not talking about me,” said a student in a black uniform. He had just exited the black building and walking towards Clovis. “I’ve already eaten, and I don’t appreciate being called an ‘it’.” “What? Oh, no. I wasn’t talking about you. Sorry, my names Clovis.” “My name’s Derek, but you can call me “Icarus”. Everyone else does.” The two of them shook hands. “I was hoping you’d join me for a duel. The arena should be open.” “Sure, but are you sure about the arena? I thought it was booked by students for the next few weeks. “Oh, I’m sure they’ll let us duel.” * * * * * Icarus and Clovis stood at opposite sides of the ring. Clovis was curious why everyone let Icarus have the dueling arena as soon as he showed up. Both players dew their cards and stood ready. “Mind if I start? I’m summoning my Bird of Paradise (3/500/500).” A beautiful red bird appeared on the field. “It comes with two fire counters. Each one gives my monster a three hundred point boost.” (500 –> 1100) Two small spheres of fire began orbiting around the bird’s long neck. “Finished?” asked Clovis. “Not quite. I’m setting a card face down, and ending my turn.” “Finally! Draw!” Clovis looked over his hand and made his choice. “I choose, Arsenal Gambler! (4/?/0)” A samurai appeared on the field. It carried with it a large white die. It threw the die into the air and it landed back in his hands, displaying the number "3". “Based on the number rolled, my Gambler gets a weapon, and with it, a set of attack points (4/1500/0)! Arsenal Gambler, attack his Bird of Paradise!” “I activate my trap,” interrupted Icarus. “It’s Ultimate Offering (Continuous Trap)! By paying five hundred life points... LIFE POINTS:CLOVIS: 4000ICARUS: 3500 “I get to summon a monster during your turn. I’m summoning my Grand Skyfire (4/1000/0)!” The air itself turned to fire and took the outline of a large bird. Its size threatened to engulf the entire stadium. “It gets a fire counter too (1000 –> 1300). Will you continue you attack, knowing my Skyfire will be waiting next turn?” “Of course! I never let up on my attacks! Arsenal Gambler, go!” The die the samurai was holding transformed into a katana. He swung the katana and struck down the bird of paradise. ICARUS: 3100 “Got it! Huh?” Clovis watched as the two fire counters that had been orbiting the bird of paradise switch over to Grand Skyfire, which now had three counters. “I forgot to mention, my fire counters like to jump to a new heat source when their host hits the graveyard (Skyfire: 1300 –> 1900). You don’t think ahead, do you?” Clovis took offense to this. “I do so! Watch! I’m setting a card face down. And, that’s the card I’m going to beat you with! Besides, who are you to talk about strategy? You’re not even in any of the dorms from what I can tell.” Icarus smirked. “You’re right. I’m not even officially enlisted in duel academy. The black uniform is worn by those who have dropped out of the pro circuit.” “You were a pro?” “Enough talk for now, I draw!” Icarus looked pleased with the card he had drawn. “I summon, Blazewing Icarus (4/2350/1500)!” Clovis looked in awe at the monster that had just been summoned. He was a man with elegant white wings sprouted from his back. But suddenly, those beautiful wings were smothered in flames. But it wasn’t the burning wings that amazed Clovis, it was the likeness between Icarus and the monster he had just summoned. “Now, when I summon a fire monster, my Skyfire gets another counter (1900 –> 2200). Skyfire, destroy his Arsenal Gambler. Blazewing Icarus, attack him directly.” The bird-shaped mass of fire crashed down on the field like a tidal wave, destroying Arsenal Gambler. CLOVIS: 3300 From that sea of fire rose Blazewing Icarus. He rocketed past Clovis, hitting him hard. CLOVIS: 950 “Ok, Clovis. I’m setting a card and calling it a turn.” informed Icarus. “But the monster you destroyed my Arsenal Gambler with had more than five hundred attack points than him. Which means, since this is the end of the turn, he comes back and rolls that die again.” The familiar samurai reappeared and rolled a “4". The die transformed into a large and heavy hammer, larger than the warrior holding it (4/2000/0). “You know, you’re pretty good. No wonder you were a pro. But don’t think this means I’m not going to win!” Icarus let out a chuckle. “Oh, I guarantee that you’ll win.” “What?” “Why do you think everyone calls me “Icarus”? I got too close to the sun and fell back down here. Now, I am destined to lose every duel.” Clovis didn’t understand what Icarus was trying to say. Was he trying to psyche him out? “Let me explain. Once, I was a student at Duel Academy just like you. I enlisted with my sister, and we excelled faster than any other students. After only just one year, we graduated with honours and hit the pro circuit. Wether dueling together, or dueling apart, we climbed the dueling ladder as quickly as we had at school. It was like we were on wings, carrying us straight to the top! “But one day, my sister became ill. She was confined to a hospital bed. The doctors refused to let her leave. I stopped dueling, just to stay by her side. But she hated seeing my there. Hated the idea that she was costing me my chance to be the duelist I could be. I tried to convince her otherwise, but she persisted each time I visited. I eventually gave into her, and went to compete in the World Championship Tournament. After each day, I would come back and tell her about my duels, and how I was so close to reaching the top. “Eventually they scheduled her operation. It was on the same day as my match against the current world champion. I was so close, but there was no way I could abandon her on that day. Just before being taken into the operating room, her exact words to me were, ‘Don’t let me be the reason you never became world champion’. So I went to my match, knowing I wasn’t just fulfilling my dream, but hers too.” The atmosphere in the arena suddenly took a depressing turn. It looked to Clovis that all the onlookers had heard this story before. “The duel against the world champion was amazing. Never had I experienced such an intense showdown between me and another duelist! He launched his final attack, but I was ready. My face down card would have won it for me. But just then, someone ran out to me on the field. She told me there had been complications during the surgery, and my sister had died on the table. When I heard the news, I was speechless, I couldn’t move. The attack from my opponent hit, and I could feel myself falling into darkness...” Clovis didn’t know what to say. Was he supposed to let this guy win? It seemed impossible that someone could never win a duel again just because they said it was so. Clovis started his turn. “I summon my Teahouse Waitress, Kiyohime (4/1400/200)! She’s pretty harmless right now. But once I discard a card from my hand... I can turn her to vengeance!” The harmless face of the waitress melted away, leaving the black and twisted smile of a dragon. Her body grew larger and wings sprouted from her back. It wasn’t long before the harmless waitress had transformed into a fully grown dragon. It was of such immense size, its wings bent against the ceiling of the school. “Impressive. So this is a Turn Summon. I was hoping I’d get to see one while I was dueling you.” “You’re gonna wish you hadn’t! This is Vengeful Kiyohime (8/3000/2100). Go, Kiyohime, tear his Blazewing Icarus apart!” The dragonic giant began lowering its head, ready for a fresh meal of wings. When suddenly, it was stopped by what looked like the air, swirling in a circular motion above Icarus. “Sorry, but I have a trap. It’s called Negate Attack (Counter Trap). It prevents your monster from reaching any of mine this turn.” “Fine, then I’ll switch my Arsenal Gambler to defense, and call it a turn.” Icarus drew his card. “Now to keep my Blazewing Icarus on the offensive, he requires tribute...” Grand Skyfire began twisting itself into a vortex pointed directly into Blazewing Icarus’s wings. Within a second, Skyfire was gone and its four counters orbited Blazewing Icarus, making him stronger (2350 –> 3550). “In my Skyfire’s place, I’m summoning Will - O - Wisp (1/0/0). It gets three counters, though no bonus for its stats. It’s a shame. Anyway, Blazewing Icarus attacks Kiyohime!” The dragon, though much larger, could not withstand the overpowering flames from Icarus’s wings. CLOVIS: 400ICARUS: 3100 Clovis drew his card. “I’m changing Arsenal Gambler back into attack position. Attack Will - o - Wisp!” The Arsenal Gambler jumped to life and cut the small ball of fire in half. It faded away, but its three counters began circling Icarus, totaling seven. (3550 –> 4450). “Sorry to disappoint you, but my Will - o - Wisp protects me from taking any damage when its destroyed.” “Doesn’t matter, I was just wanted to get rid of your sacrificial lamb. Without any fire monster to destroy on your own, your Blazewing Icarus won’t be able to attack.” Icarus took his turn. “I’m activating Wings of Icarus (Quick-Play Spell). One of my birdies, namely my Bird of Paradise, returns to the field for one turn. Next comes my Behemoth Drop (Normal Spell). My lovely bird is sent back to the grave so I can summon a big monster from my deck. I choose my Wicked Firebird (8/2000/2000). Normally it would be getting three counters, but fire counters don’t spark if the monster is Special Summoned.” “It looks like our monsters are at a draw.” “Wrong! My Wicked Firebird won’t stay at two-thousand attack for long. Its effect lets me take one of the counters from my Blazewing Icarus, and add it to it (BI: 4450–> 4150) (WF: 2000 –> 2300). Now, Wicked Firebird, destroy Arsenal Gambler once and for all!” The black and crimson phoenix gave one tremendous flap of its wings and Clovis’s monster was destroyed. CLOVIS: 100 “I’m setting a card, and it’s your turn.” Clovis drew his card. “I’m using Monster Reborn to bring back my Tehouse Waitress Kyohime Not only that, but I’m discarding a card to unleash her vengeance.” The giant dragon appeared on the field once again (Vengeful Kiyohime (8/3000/2100)). “Next I’m summoning my own fire card, my Phoenix Fighter (4/1600/500)!” A woman dressed in red and wings made of fire appeared on the field. “Kiyohime, destroy the Wicked Firebird!” This time, the dragon got its meal. The fire counter returned to Blazewing Icarus (4150 –> 4450). CLOVIS: 100ICARUS: 2400 “That card...” Icarus didn’t seem to take notice to the attack. His eyes were fixed on the Phoenix Fighter. “Listen,” said Clovis. “I can understand you must feel horrible about your sister’s death. But you can’t just set yourself up to lose each duel. She would have wanted you to keep dueling at your best. You shouldn’t punish yourself, it isn’t your fault.” “You idiot!” shouted Icarus. Clovis was taken back by the sudden burst of anger. “You think I’m lose my duels on purpose?! No matter the opponent, no matter the deck I use, no matter the strategy, IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME! I tried to keep my pro status, but no matter what, I would always lose. I was forced to come back here, where it all began.” Icarus held up his left arm and pulled down his sleeve. A design that looked liked black flames covered his forearm. It looked to Clovis like a tattoo, but the markings were beneath the skin, like bruises. “This is the mark given to me by god to show everyone that I was willing to abandon the life of another to become the greatest. I left my sister flying over the ocean while I soared into the sun.” Clovis didn’t know what to say. Icarus sounded serious about not being able to win. Should he just let him win? “No, I know what you’re thinking, Clovis. Every duelist who knows my story has tried that. I refuse to let anyone forfeit their victory. If everyone let me win, then that wouldn’t be fulfilling mine and my sister’s dream. Now, throw everything you’ve got at me, I won’t be giving up either!” Clovis nodded his head. He understood. “Pheonix Fighter, attack Blazewing Icarus! When my phoenix gal attacks a monster with a defense lower than her attack points, then that card is instantly destroyed. Goodbye, Icarus!” “Yes,” agreed Icarus. “And so long to your mosnters! I activate Icarus Attack (Normal Trap)! I’m tributing Blazewing Icarus to destroy your monsters!” Blazewing Icarus exploded in a glorious wave of light. The light pierced Clovis’s monster and destroyed them. “Well. It’s your turn. You have no cards in your hand. You better hope the card you draw wins it for you.” Icarus drew his card. “I summon, Bird of Paradise (3/500/500 –> 3/1100/500). With no monsters on your field, my bird attacks you directly! All you have is that face down card you swore you’d win with. So, lets see it.” “Hmm, nope. I’m not going to activate it,” said Clovis. The crowd gasped. “You’re breaking our deal? I though you were going use everything you’ve got!” “Oh, I am. I just meant that I’m not going to use it just yet. I’m returning it to my hand so I can summon a special monster from my hand. It’s my Tribe Lion (4/1750/1600). I can summon him during your turn if I return a card a spell/trap back to my hand.” “Very good. Your monster’s attack points are too high for mine. I’ll have to stop my attack. Your move.” Clovis drew his card. He had three cards left in his hand, and he knew exactly how he was going to use them. “First, I’m using Mind Control (Normal Spell) to take your Bird of Paradise. Then, I’m summoning my Momotaro Animal, Monkey (2/800/100). Are you ready to see the card I set on my first turn?” Clovis held up the last card in his hand. “Yes, I’ve been dying to know.” “It’s... Polymerization (Normal Spell)! I’m fusing Tribe Lion, Bird of Paradise, and my Momotaro Animal together!” The tree animals left into a vortex, fusing together. “They’re combining to form the strongest monster in my deck, Final Fusionist (10/4000/4000)!” A large chimera pushed its way through the vortex and onto the field. It let out a lion-like roar that shook the whole stadium. “Final Fusionist, attack Icarus directly!” Then chimera pounced at the waiting victim. CLOVIS: 100ICARUS: 0 Instead of cheers, moans of disappointment came from the audience. They were hoping to see Icarus finally start winning again. Unknown to Clovis, a few choice people were hidden inside the crowd, watching his duel. Naomi. Nathaniel. Marcus. Even Bahrei, who was standing in the shadows, had watched the match. “Thanks for the duel, Clovis.” “Listen, I want to help you. I’m sure, if we work together, you won’t lose your next duel.” Icarus raised an eyebrow. “You sure you know what you’re saying?” “Yes, I swear it. I don’t want to see you lose either. Because, maybe that’s what you’re missing now, someone to fly with.” Clovis held out his hand, and Icarus accepted the handshake. “From now on, it’s Clovis and Derek.” It had been so long since Icarus had heard anyone address him by his real name. When he looked back, he realized that Clovis had never once called him Icarus, even after hearing his story. NEXT TIME: Tearing down the new ban list! Master of the Zero-Turn-Kill! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Star Posted November 24, 2007 Report Share Posted November 24, 2007 Awesome Episode! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God GAK Posted November 24, 2007 Report Share Posted November 24, 2007 EXCELLENT EPISODES! I LOVED THE 4TH ONE. 100000000000000000000/10 AS GOOD AS HIDDEN LEGACY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kocrow17 Posted November 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2007 Wow (0.0). Thanks for the high rate! Stay tuned for further episodes. I loved writing episode 4. Icarus will be out of the spotlight for a while, but when he's the focul point of an ep, you know it's going to be a good one. Everyone keep your eyes on Remix Duelist's Holiday contest where I'll be posting my ZTK cards for the next episode. Think of it as a sneak preview. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kizzi Posted November 24, 2007 Report Share Posted November 24, 2007 999/999! Your fanfics rock! Please put episode 5 up soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God GAK Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 I love it! And what's "ZTK"??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kizzi Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 I'm guessing Zero-Turn-Kill? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God GAK Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 That would be cool. Check my entries at the contest. I made something that would change the whole metagame! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kizzi Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 Isn't this kinda off-topic? But anyway, they're neat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God GAK Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 OK, it is off topic. Now this conversation shall end Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kizzi Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 Okay. So when's the next chapter going to be posted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kocrow17 Posted November 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 Yup, ZTK does stand for Zero Turn Kill. It's been an idean I've been working on for a while now. The next chapter may be 2 or 3 days away. I really want to make sure these cards are good. IMPORTANT: There will be a Christmas Special for A Turn in Destiny. So, who would you like Clovis to duel? Posts your suggestions now! Any character from any where you can think of! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kizzi Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 Okay, I'll wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kocrow17 Posted November 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 While you're wait, feel free to suggest a character for Clovis to duel in the Christmas Special! IMPORTANT: There will be a Christmas Special for A Turn in Destiny. So, who would you like Clovis to duel? Posts your suggestions now! Any character from any where you can think of! (just edited my last post) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God GAK Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 Clovis VS Yugi Muto. He could find him there by accident the time he went to DA to get his deck back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kizzi Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 Mmm, that would be... interesting, with Yugi using his [new] Christmas Deck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God GAK Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 LOL That would be awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ixigo Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 Awesome story. Characters: 8/10 (only slightly generic at times)Plot: 9/10 (very good, excellent cliffhangers, nice build-up, clever sub-plots)Grammar-Syntax-Structure: 9/10 (excellent, a surprising change from most of the things I read nowadays)Description: 7/10 (the only thing that could use work. I like the use of pictures for characters though)Dueling: 9/10 (innovative, refreshing, non-repetitive. Great so far)Overall: 8.5/10 (great, could use a slight improvement in description) As for who Clovis would fight... Joey Wheeler? Mai Valentine? Rafael (from WtD)? Those are good candidates for now (without using main characters and stuff). As long as you can find good excuses for them being there without creating plotholes. By the way, when are we to expect the next chapter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God GAK Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 So, when are you posting the next episode? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kocrow17 Posted November 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 Forgot to mention. Clovis cannot duel Yugi Moto or Duke Devlin. They will actually playing a part in the story in the future. Awesome story. Characters: 8/10 (only slightly generic at times)Plot: 9/10 (very good' date=' excellent cliffhangers, nice build-up, clever sub-plots)Grammar-Syntax-Structure: 9/10 (excellent, a surprising change from most of the things I read nowadays)Description: 7/10 (the only thing that could use work. I like the use of pictures for characters though)Dueling: 9/10 (innovative, refreshing, non-repetitive. Great so far)Overall: 8.5/10 (great, could use a slight improvement in description) As for who Clovis would fight... Joey Wheeler? Mai Valentine? Rafael (from WtD)? Those are good candidates for now (without using main characters and stuff). As long as you can find good excuses for them being there without creating plotholes. By the way, when are we to expect the next chapter?[/quote']Thanks for the indept review! This is the kind of feedback I'm looking for. I'm especially glad you like the dueling. Things will be getting much more interesting as I introduce more game-changing effects. I'll try to be more descriptive from now on now that I have an audience. I was afraid over analyzing everything would scare people off. The next chapter will be 2-3 days away. Sorry for the long wait, but I'm still working on my ZTK cards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God GAK Posted November 25, 2007 Report Share Posted November 25, 2007 So that's the reason for the delay. OK. You could add Naruto Uzumaki, which has been transferred to this dimension through a gate and all guys from naruto are in his deck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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