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my first card! comments. suggestions


hellstuner

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Unbalanced, for a level 7 monster with 2700 no card effect can be activated? OP!

And the second, though it costs alot to destroy all cards, you can attack with 3500 ATK to win in 1 round

Fixed OCG:

Any effect by your opponent's Monsters, Spell and Trap Cards that targets a card in your Graveyard, are negated.

 

Remove the top 10 cards in your Deck from play, to destroy all cards on your opponents side of the field.

 

Should be right 5/10


OCG means official card grammar, it's the way the effects are written in

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Unbalanced' date=' for a level 7 monster with 2700 no card effect can be activated? OP!

And the second, though it costs alot to destroy all cards, you can attack with 3500 ATK to win in 1 round

Fixed OCG:

Any effect by your opponent's Monsters, Spell and Trap Cards that targets a card in your Graveyard, are negated.

 

Remove the top 10 cards in your Deck from play, to destroy all cards on your opponents side of the field.

 

Should be right 5/10[hr']

OCG means official card grammar, it's the way the effects are written in

 

tnx for your comment

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First of all, Dark Angel. Cliche'd name. Very unoriginal. The good thing about it is it's not that OP'ed (Overpowered, where a card is too strong for its level). Quite a few OCG errors i.e graveyard = Graveyard. Also, the word "Magic" s not used in Yu-Gi-Oh any more. Spell is used instead. Please fix this. You need a little work on your punctation, remember to use periods. Pic is pretty good and the stats are balanced good for a level 7 card. Overall: 6.5/10. Fix up the OCG and punctuation, then it'll be a 7 from me. If you want me to write out the effect with better OCG and Punctuation for you, PM me.

 

Now, onto Hell Serpent old version. Pretty good name. Doesn't feel too too creative, but it isn't cliche'd either. The effect is very horrible. Removing 10 cards from play is a bit too much, and after you do that, you are almost guaranteed to win the duel because you attack directly with it. Also, if you had another monster out with atleast 500 ATK it would've made for a nick One-Turn Kill combo. Onto stats, balanced well for a level 8 card. OCG and punctuation needs tuning up. Overall: 6/10. If you fix up the OCG and punctuation, 6.3/10. if you want me to rewrite the effect for you, PM me.

 

Now for Hell Serpent new version. Same name. The new effect makes it hell better than the old version. You might need to lower the stats a bit and again, clean up the OCG and punctuation. Overall: 6.8/10. With effect corrections, 7.2/10

 

Also, you might want to start giving them set numbers, IDs, and circulations.

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