Holyspring [TEACHING] [Started!]

[Soul Legacy]

Ok guys Rinne is going to help with the unique factors of a application while I handle the basics.

 

 

When you fill out the parts of a application you should always use full sentences. Yes I know its very very short but this is the first piece of advice since it does help your writing if you get into a habit of writing good full sentences.

 

Sorry to sound like an idiot, but I don't get it. Are you asking us not to write in paragraphs, get straight to the point or put in more detail?

[Guest]

You don't know what a complete sentence is?

 

You should write a paragraph or so but the sentences need to be complete.

[Soul Legacy]

No, I knew what they are. I just couldn't understand how you put it. But now you've made it simpler. Anyway, can you point out anything else wrong so I can fix it all at once?

[bury the year]

Sorry I didn’t get these done earlier. xD

 

[spoiler=shadowferret – Gamigin]

1) Does his demon form have a specific coloration to it?

2) “Friendly” and “cold-hearted” don’t really go together. Explain this odd combination a bit more.

3) The emotion thing is a bit god-moddy, but only if it’s not purely under the affected character’s control. Work that out a bit.

4) If you can, add just some general details in place to lengthen the app a bit.

 

[spoiler=Ingo-San – Purson]

1) You still need to put how old he appears.

2) Whaddya mean by “Male since his King?” It might be just a typo, but I don’t get where you’re going.

3) While you’re at it, run the entire thing through a spellchecker. I can’t understand you half of the time.

4) Give a bit more info on his general appearance. Anything more detailed?

5) 9 feet is a bit tall for a demon appearance. (At least in the scope of the RP.) Tone it down a bit.

6) His personality seems one-dimensional. Kill, kill, and more kill? Flesh him out a bit more.

7) Fire’s a bit... unoriginal. May I suggest gravitational control?

 

[spoiler=Soul Legacy – Amon]

1) Six-eleven as a human? That would never work. Tone it down a bit.

2) Either remove the seal, or get the other guys to add it. It seems more like a theme thing than something for just one.

3) No acid-vomiting in human form. That’s just weird. xD

4) Also, I think you should consider removing the teleporting. It’s a bit god-moddy.

5) Random general details would be appreciated.

 

[shadowferret]

EDITed the App. Does that look better, or do I need to fix it up some more?

[Coyote Starrk¤]

Sorry I didn’t get these done earlier. xD

[spoiler=Ingo-San – Purson]

1) You still need to put how old he appears.

2) Whaddya mean by “Male since his King?” It might be just a typo' date=' but I don’t get where you’re going.

3) While you’re at it, run the entire thing through a spellchecker. I can’t understand you half of the time.

4) Give a bit more info on his general appearance. Anything more detailed?

5) 9 feet is a bit tall for a demon appearance. (At least in the scope of the RP.) Tone it down a bit.

6) His personality seems one-dimensional. Kill, kill, and more kill? Flesh him out a bit more.

7) Fire’s a bit... unoriginal. May I suggest gravitational control?

[/quote']

 

Okeii , But i can't edit now. I gotta go to school. It's 7AM and school starts 8AM. I just came in to check.

[Soul Legacy]

[spoiler=Soul Legacy – Amon]

1) Six-eleven as a human? That would never work. Tone it down a bit.

2) Either remove the seal' date=' or get the other guys to add it. It seems more like a theme thing than something for just one.

3) No acid-vomiting in human form. That’s just weird. xD

4) Also, I think you should consider removing the teleporting. It’s a bit god-moddy.

5) Random general details would be appreciated.

 

[/quote']

 

Name: Amon

Age: By his apperance, he looks to be 35.

Gender: Male

Appearance:

 

HUMAN FORM: 6'2 and muscular. His eye's burn dark red and his hair is pitch black. He looks to be 35, so he blends in with the crowds of human that flock through the street every passing hour. He has a scar across his left eye that he gained from once fighting an exorcist.

 

DEMON FORM: Amon has the body of a wolf and the tail of a serpant. He can stand on his hind legs and stand at 8 foot. He vomits fire out of his mouth for vast damage on any enemys that step his way.

 

Personality: Dark and vivid. The same in either the spiritual or human world. He only talks to the demons in the spiritual world, and not in the human world; mearly not to give themselves away. He doesn't really care about his allies or enemys, and is always prepared to spit in there faces if they give him some back talk. His intelligence surpasses others but he seems only to be smart when it is needed. The rest of the time hes just more concentrative on being bulk and destructive. He will shadow others if they think of him too lightly and is ready to 'play the game' if anyone asks for it. To play the part, hes sometimes more light hearted to humans, especially exorcists, to trick them into being his friends. He then kills them at the opertune moment.

Abilities: Amon can tell things past and future, but the future visions are vivid and come to him unexpectadly, he can not control it. He has the power in his demon form to spit fire from his mouth.

Strengths and Weaknesses: He is very bulk and very quick. His intelligence makes him confuse humans. But due to his nature, he can be suduced into being under the control of a mage and he also can think too quickly and slip up. He reacts horribly towards holy water, more vile then other demons.

Attitude Towards Humans: As all other demons he hates them. But if he finds devil worshipers he is willing to take them as his followers and allies, and not just the demons. He fell in love with a human once, but not much is said about that anymore. Because of this, he is now spiteful against Love and Happiness.

Novelization?: Yes.

 

Revised.

[bury the year]

shadowferret, accepted.

 

Soul Legacy, remove the future-seeing thing, mainly because I realized that it's god-modding to "predict" what your opponent will do.

 

Azure Rhythm, grimreaper540, we are dropping you from the RP mainly because you haven't posted anything yet and we'd like to get the ball rolling. When the next class is opened, you two will have first priority if you would like so.

[Soul Legacy]

I said that his future visions are only vivid >.> But if I must I'll also put that they just come to him and he doesn't control it. And I wasn't going to cheat with it anyway, I might not be the best RPer, but im more responsible then that.

 

EDIT: I won't be here tommorow because im going to my respite carers and she dosen't have a computer, so please don't boot me.

[bury the year]

Due to Shady having a very bad day, I posted his app for him in the first post. To the rest of you, we will be starting very soon, so please get your apps revised.

[Death Bishop]

EDITED, just like you wanted me to. And again. AND AGAIN!

 

 

Name: Kenta Sakami (坂見健太).

Age: 14

Gender: Male

Appearance: Average height, around 5"7. Blue eyes. He wears a patch over his left eye. He has long, black hair. He wears a yellow/black jacket with his name in Japanese on it (坂見健太). He has mathcing pants and gloves, and wears formal shoes. He is dark tanned, and is stronger than people expect.

Personality: Very friendly. He can get along with mostly anyone, but tries to avoid those punks. He is a nerd. He tries to avoid fights, but when in a fight, he shows no mercy.

Backstory Fragments: Kenta has had a rough life. His father died when he was only 5. He lost sight in his left eye one day when he was studying. Some teenage punks stabbed him in the face one day. His dad used to be in a business deal with their dads, but one day, broke their deal because they were claming 88% of profits. They swore revenge on him. That's why he wears an eye patch. His mum takes care of him, along with his brothers and sisters.

Exorcism Weapon: Long before his parents died, his dad passed on a pair of long paper scrolls with mantras written on them. They had powerful restraining bonds that burnt demons upon contact. You can see the blood of all the victims that were cursed by this weapon.

Strengths and Weaknesses: He was exceptionally well when it came to tactics. He finds it hard to write, because his hand has this tick in it.

Novelization?: Sure, why not.

[Soul Legacy]

Name: Amon

Age: By his apperance' date=' he looks to be 35.

[b']Gender:[/b] Male

Appearance:

 

HUMAN FORM: 6'2 and muscular. His eye's burn dark red and his hair is pitch black. He looks to be 35, so he blends in with the crowds of human that flock through the street every passing hour. He has a scar across his left eye that he gained from once fighting an exorcist.

 

DEMON FORM: Amon has the body of a wolf and the tail of a serpant. He can stand on his hind legs and stand at 8 foot. He vomits fire out of his mouth for vast damage on any enemys that step his way.

 

Personality: Dark and vivid. The same in either the spiritual or human world. He only talks to the demons in the spiritual world, and not in the human world; mearly not to give themselves away. He doesn't really care about his allies or enemys, and is always prepared to spit in there faces if they give him some back talk. His intelligence surpasses others but he seems only to be smart when it is needed. The rest of the time hes just more concentrative on being bulk and destructive. He will shadow others if they think of him too lightly and is ready to 'play the game' if anyone asks for it. To play the part, hes sometimes more light hearted to humans, especially exorcists, to trick them into being his friends. He then kills them at the opertune moment.

Abilities:He has the power in his demon form to spit fire from his mouth.

Strengths and Weaknesses: He is very bulk and very quick. His intelligence makes him confuse humans. But due to his nature, he can be suduced into being under the control of a mage and he also can think too quickly and slip up. He reacts horribly towards holy water, more vile then other demons.

Attitude Towards Humans: As all other demons he hates them. But if he finds devil worshipers he is willing to take them as his followers and allies, and not just the demons. He fell in love with a human once, but not much is said about that anymore. Because of this, he is now spiteful against Love and Happiness.

Novelization?: Yes.

 

Revised, again >.>

[bury the year]

Soul Legacy, accepted.

 

Javier, check here. Except for the name and weapon, you haven't really changed anything else.

 

To all accepted, we will start the RP in exactly 2 hours.

[Namo™]

Soul Legacy' date=' accepted.

 

Javier, check here. Except for the name and weapon, you haven't really changed anything else.

 

To all accepted, we will start the RP in exactly 2 hours.

 

Are we not starting now?

[Death Bishop]

Okay, will edit previous post.

[Soul Legacy]

---- Thanks Rinne, can't wait to start! :D

[bury the year]

(((I hate English essays. Anyways, I made some minor changes to my app. Now, the RP has begun, and no OOC-only posts will be tolerated. Javier, I'll send the changes to you. We will be starting on Saturday morning. My students should be at the Tenzen Academy Special House Dorms, where your characters reside. Shadius' will be in the general area of the city right outside the Academy.)))

 

"Yahh. That was a nice nap." Throwing the covers of his bed onto the floor, Tatsuma Aoyagi popped his head up, shaking it quickly and sending his red-brown hair into a poof. He quickly looked down, inspecting the white T-shirt and pajama pants he was wearing, and decided to roll over to wake himself up. Rolling out of bed wasn't the most intelligent thing for him to do, though, and he fell against the hard wood with a loud "crack!" "OUCH!" The teenager had obviously hit his tailbone on that one, and he grimaced as he stood up. "Why is this the way that I start my morning?" he inquired of no-one in particular. Giving a slight sigh, he turned around and grabbed the long thin green bag standing next to the wooden headboard, slinging it over his shoulder before exiting the room.

 

The dorm was rather small, only about 8 rooms, and they were all on the second floor, with the kitchen on the first. Therefore, Tatsuma had to go down a long hall and a flight of stairs in a rather tired state, something he'd rather not do in order to get to food. However, he wasn't going to let something like that impede him, and he surely but slowly made it to the kitchen, which overlooked the small central room. "Hey," the teen announced as he made his way down, unable to tell because of the general dimness of the place. "Anyone up yet?"

 

Not waiting for an answer, he padded over to the refrigerator, and quickly opened the door, bathing the room in light. "Well, they're up now." Laughing to himself softly, he reached in, hoping nobody stole the last can of cider that he was saving. That wouldn't be very nice, would it?

 

(((This is a good example post. Don't go straight to the action; add little details about the character's surroundings and their minor actions. The more small things you can notice, the more realistic the environment will be, and the easier it will be to create a replying post.)))

[shadowferret]

Albert awoke with the blinding sunlight filtering in through the window, illuminating the dimly lit room. It was a small room, enough to fit a bed, a dresser full of clothes, and a nightstand in it. This particular room's walls were painted a boring shade of grey, but the man who inhabited the bed wore his hair a bright blonde, almost bright enough to match his pale skin. Bright blue eyes appeared from underneath the pale eyelids, letting the pupils adjust size to accomodate for the sudden intake of light that happens when one awakes from a dream.

 

A blink, a yawn and a stretch later, Albert was up and digging through the aforementioned dresser for a pair of work clothes for that day. The man had a normal enough job -- clerk at a local bookstore within the city. It wasn't a particularly popular one, but it did enough business to stay there and not go bankrupt. Perfect place to work for someone who wanted to hide.

 

Gamigin made his appearance in the mirror. As Albert stepped into the washroom to.... you know, wash up, his human forme slowly dissolved away, revealing the demon underneath. The 7 foot tall demon stood menacing in the mirror, with his blue skin contrasting oddly against the red patches of fur at his elbows and forearms. The antlers upon his head jutted out magnificently, making it look as if he was trapped in the room by them.

 

The fur slowly receded into his body again as Gamigin transformed into his human forme, Albert.

While socializing amongst, it'd be a good idea not to terrify them into cardiac arrest.

 

Slowly, Albert got ready, grooming his blonde hair as best as he could, and putting on the most professional outfit he could find. Not that Gamigin really cared. It was all just an excuse to study these humans more.

 

On the way into the bookstore, Albert/Gamigin saw the rather large academy in the distance.

"It'd be rather interesting to study the kind of people who go to a Private Academy..."

[fenrir]

"Ugh.." Takashi stretched his arms out. He looked around in the small room he was in. Nothing to shabby, but nothing amazing ether. He looked down at the cloths he was wearing, and grimaced. "Can't be bothered." He slid his body around and jumped down from his bed. He had told them he wanted a bunk bed. After all, sleeping near the ground was a bit of a pain for him. He didn't know why, he just disliked it.

 

He landed rather loudly, not like he cared. He ignored the rather large bag in the back, shaped like a tube. He was too lazy to bring it down. He stepped out of his room, and made his way down the hall, turning to go down the stairs. At the top though, he accidentally stepped on his long jeans, causing him to trip, and tumble.

 

"BAM!" That sound echoed across the dorm, most likely waking everyone who wasn't awake. As he lay on his back, he stared at the ceiling. A bit of blood from his nose had got on his white undershirt and he moaned. He tilted his head back. "Hey Tatsuma, pass me a soda will ya?

[Soul Legacy]

The city was bustling as always on a Saturday morning. People would push between and past others to get to there pacific location. The light shone rather brightly for that perticular morning. The slick stone path heated up as the warmth of the sun beated apon it. And even more so the people walking on it that perticular day. Many wore vests and a sun hat. But it was quite diffrent for one perticular person standing there that day.

 

Amon stood there on his own. His black hair and short sleeved T-shirt went with his thick jeans. He looked up at the sun and squinted his deep red eyes. His face stayed straight but every so often his left eye would twitch from the scar that layed across it. Amon eyes slowly drifted away from the sun and down to the ground as he saw a little girl staring up at him. She was holding a red bloon with white sandals and sassy strawberry blonde hair, looking to be about 6-ish.

 

Amon squated down to the girls height and looked her in the eyes with his demonising ones. He could see that she didn't like looking into his, but she didn't seem to move away as others usually did. "Uh....mr....do you mind telling me were da clothes shop is?" Amon raised an eyebrow of question to frighten the child. He lightly coughed and with a bellowing voice answered. "I would love to tell you little girl, but lets think...." The girl's eyes widened as she thought he was going to tell her.

 

"...Oh yes, theres over 100 clothes shops in this street!" Amon grumped at the little girl. She crimpled up and went all red, then stomped away like a spoilt little brat, which she probably was. Amon stood back up again with a grin of pleasure. "Another days good work..." He chuckled to himself delightfully to his own thought. But he soon shook himself out of it. "Ok big guy funs over, back on target..." Amon's eyes drifted to another building as his face grew more concentrated.

 

His eyes met a school building, an academy to be excact. It looked very privatised and only stood on the ground it was placed on because of the people that walked in and out of it. Amon turned his full body towards the building and quickly scanned it with his eyes. His eyes then met the steps. "So this is the place eh? Don't see why I should care but hey, lets stick around and see who makes the first move..." Amon grinned and got all tense then continued to look at the building. His shadow began to show but instead of a normal human shadow it was a wolve that stood on its hind legs with a serpents tail. This was the true face that hides behind the facadé.

 

---- Hope thats ok =/ Also, not to be a bug, but my apps not in the first post.

[Death Bishop]

Kenta stood there, like he'd been hit by bricks. He had his yellow jacket on, and his black trousers. He looked at his surroundings. There was a small bed, along with a closet and a chair. Grrr, the sound of his stomach, it was time to have breakfast. He had to take 7 levels of stairs before finally getting to the breakfast bar. He checked the fridge; nothing. The pantry; nothing. He found some mints on a desk. He scoffeled them down, then left the building.

 

There were so many buildings, which one was the academy? He checked his map. "According to this map, the academy -- Whoa, there it is. It was tall, and had a big logo exactly in the middle. He waited to see who would make a move first.

 

-- Can my app be added to the first post BTW?

[bury the year]

(((I never did say you were accepted, Javier. PMed changes. >.>)))

 

"Oh. Hey, Komemura-kun. You look like you didn't get much sleep." Looking up from his hunched-over position, Tatsuma stood up fully, a can of apple cider clutched in his right hand. Takashi was the same age as Tatsuma, but you definitely couldn't tell upon first impression. He looked at least four years old, with stubble and a body of someone who had worked hard for a long time. A delinquent time, but one that commandeered respect. Something that was definitely needed in the exorcism business.

 

Rummaging through the the fridge, the red-head found a bottle of root beer in the back and pulled it out, waving it in the air. "Would this work?" Shuffling across the bare wood of the kitchen to a counter, he plunked the bottle down within Takashi's reach. "Just drink it quickly. You know that Sunahara-sensei and Tottori-sensei wouldn't want us to have sugar this early." Smiling slightly, Tatsuma recalled the somewhat-odd policies that the two dorm heads had instituted for them. It was a fact that the two were a bit nutty, but they were powerful exorcists, so it could be excused.

 

Pulling up a chair to the table, Tatsuma pulled off the bag slung across his back and plopped down, sighing. He quickly popped the steel pull tab off of the top, dropped it to the side, and tipped the cool drink down his throat, bracing for the crisp apply taste. "So," he said offhand after finishing the can, "whaddya think the daily target will be? I was reading some forum posts last night, and it seems like that there was a reported cold burst nearby. Could be some wandering yuki-onna, right?" Giving a coy grin, he looked at Takashi, awaiting a response.

[fenrir]

Takashi grinned, and quickly slid his hand over to the bottle of root bear. His favorite. He sat upright and chugged down half the bottle, finally wiping his mouth and turning to face Tatsuma. "Just what I needed." He finally stood up, stretching and hiding for the couch. Plopping down, he sighed. "Dunno, whatever it is, I hope it's not elemental. It's hard as hell to hit one of those things." He wasn't too fond of spiritual based yuokai. In fact, he downright hated them. The more physical ones, such as Oni, were more to his liking.

[Soul Legacy]

Amon continued to stand at the spot right infront of the building. Turning around once and awhile to see if any other demons were around, but like he would be able to tell. Amon clicked his knuckles in bordom then sighed. "Damn. I know to humans pacience is a virtue but this is just one big joke. When is someone going to do something already?!" Amon clenched his fists in rage. He had a short fuse, which could easily be blown. After realising that he was in the physical world so he couldn't do much until given the all clear, Amon made his way to a bench only 150 metres away from the building and sat down.

 

He placed his right leg over the other and looked left, right then left again. Amon pulled out a cell phone and hammered in some numbers and brung the phone to his ear. He sat there in annoyance and waited for someone to pick up; nobody did. Amon shoved the phone back in his pocket and muttered to himself loudly, "Damn it!" He then sat forward to see a empty can at his foot. He picked it up and crushed it then throwed it at a bin. But he missed it by an inch and it ended up hitting a post.

 

Amon went red with rage and and punched his fist into the spot beside him, putting a crack in the wood of the bench. Amon then stood up and walked back to the spot where he was standing before and waited once more, for something to happen.

 

--- Quick question, how do demons get back to hell in this?

[bury the year]

(((Even mods need to bump. As a reminder, we need all currently-accepted characters to post before we can get the plot rolling. ;D)))