Oblique Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 The effort is appreciated, but the plot was rather stale. How many trillions of stories start out with "Long ago.... blah blah blah"? The introduction is one of the most important lines in the entire story- so why not make it spark? Try looking at some other stories' introductions, and simply edit it to your liking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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