Aero~ Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 [spoiler=Chapter 1-Love] Where is he? Kiari wondered. She looked over the whole island. Where is he? *Kiari suddenly falls to her hand and knees* What's going on? I....... *Kiari has a flashback of last night: Sora in the secret place, arms spread out, and...... Me? *Kiari sees the ghost of her fly right through Sora* Then..... everything was fine again. Giving up, Kiari went to jump rope with Selphie. 123, 124, 125, 126, *Kiari suddenly stops* "Selphie?" Kiari said. "What's up, Kiari? You were just catching up!" "It's Sora. I haven't seen him since the storm last night. I'm starting to get worried." "You really care about him, don't you?" "Yes......I do." Selphie was about to blurt out "Sora and Kiari, sittin' in a tree", but she though better of it. "No, I haven't seen him lately." And none of the others had, either. By the time she was finished, it was about time for her to be getting back home. "Bye, Selphie! And Wakka, Tidus!" Kiari paced home, and went to bet, starting the dreams. Much more to come soon! Enjoy and tell me what you think! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Canoe Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 It's alright. A start. Needs to have way longer chapters, and more detail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero~ Posted November 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 i guess there not really chapters, but parts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Canoe Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 ... More like paragraphs. You shouldn't release a chapter until it's long enough for someone to be drawn in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted December 2, 2009 Report Share Posted December 2, 2009 *facebook* Please leave this place and do not return until you can correctly spell Kairi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero~ Posted December 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 I'm quiting this. anyone who wants to make an installmaent, PM it to me and i'll post it and give you credit for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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