vyoung44 Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Black Hole Dragon I made this card in like 20 seconds just messing around but then i thought "hey i think its a pretty good card" so i wanted to post it to see if you guys could point out anything wrong with it.Thanks! BTW is my first card posted so go easy on me...lol... UPDATE:Added an equip card for fun...if you guys dont like it ill remove it but just..idk...give me a response on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XP_Lulz Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 OCG Errors. Should Be Like This. " When this card destroyed a monster, remove the destroyed monster from play. This card gains 400 ATK and DEF for every monster removed from play. " Ehh....Effect is plain. Just a Beat-Down that removes from play. Also, its ATK and DEF are too high. 6/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vyoung44 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 OCG Errors. Should Be Like This. " When this card destroyed a monster' date=' remove the destroyed monster from play. This card gains 400 ATK and DEF for every monster removed from play. " Ehh....Effect is plain. Just a Beat-Down that removes from play. Also, its ATK and DEF are too high. 6/10[/quote']Thanks...so its better like this? How does that look?and is the artwork ok? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KurashiDragon Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 I think it's oped. However it's got potential. For instance. If you make it a lv 6 monster with 2200 ATK and 1800 DEF with an added effect that'd certainly make it better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Smeagle Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 If I were you, I would make it remove one of your own monsters from play each turn. Since it's a Black Hole and everything, indiscriminate destruction makes sense. And lower its starting ATK to 2300 or so, then it won't be so broken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bott52 Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 I've made this card before so I have a Copyright on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.O.O.P. Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 yeah, what smeagle said. but try lowering it to 2100. I mean, it will get extremely high ATK the longer it is on the field. make it prone to Goblin Attack Force or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Prince_of_Death Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 It should have "When this card destroyed a monster, remove the destroyed monster from play. This card gains 400 ATK and DEF for every monster removed from play by this card's effect. " just to make it less OP. I like the idea. Name matches pic and effect. 8/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vyoung44 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 It should have "When this card destroyed a monster' date=' remove the destroyed monster from play. This card gains 400 ATK and DEF for every monster removed from play by this card's effect. " just to make it less OP. I like the idea. Name matches pic and effect. 8/10[/quote'] Looks better like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 obviously OPed since it has 3800 base atk to start with if you're going to keep the 400 atk gain effect, this should start with only about 2000 atk in addition its effects only determine atk. Give it an effect to do something else 7/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bott52 Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 its still OP it should maybe get a new effect 6/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Prince_of_Death Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 I say much better but I'm not that great with OCG so I could be wrong with how it's said but thats the basic idea of what it should be. I do like it though. 9/10 only if my grammer is wrong. 10/10 if its right. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sora Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 When this card destroyed a monster, remove the destroyed monster from play. This card gains 400 ATK and DEF for every monster removed from play by this card's effect. Bolded = What? I don't get that. Let me fix that up alittle further. When this card destroys a monster by battle, remove the destroyed monster from play. This card gains 400 ATK and DEF for each monster removed from play by this card's effect. Alright for a first card, 9/10. Just don't keep posting updated versions in posts, you should put effect or update the card on your first post. What you need however is a Drawback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vyoung44 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 When this card destroyed a monster' date=' remove the destroyed monster from play. This card gains 400 ATK and DEF for every monster removed from play by this card's effect. Bolded = What? I don't get that. Let me fix that up alittle further. When this card destroys a monster by battle, remove the destroyed monster from play. This card gains 400 ATK and DEF for each monster removed from play by this card's effect. Alright for a first card, 9/10. Just don't keep posting updated versions in posts, you should put effect or update the card on your first post. What you need however is a Drawback.[/quote'] umm...okay what should i put as the drawback? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sora Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Hmmm..discarding a card, losing Life Points, or removing from play. So I could say maybe: When this card destroys a monster by battle, remove the destroyed monster from play. Decrease your Life Points by 200 each time a monster is removed from play by this card's effect. This card gains 400 ATK and DEF for each monster removed from play by this card's effect. New Part is in Bold, you could reduce to 100 Life Points however. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vyoung44 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Hmmm..discarding a card' date=' losing Life Points, or removing from play. So I could say maybe: When this card destroys a monster by battle, remove the destroyed monster from play. [b']Decrease your Life Points by 200 each time a monster is removed from play by this card's effect.[/b] This card gains 400 ATK and DEF for each monster removed from play by this card's effect. New Part is in Bold, you could reduce to 100 Life Points however. Check the first post...there?I actually like it this way...the drawback makes it sorta dangerous to use if your low on Life Points but has power that can make a battle a nailbiter to the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sora Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Yeah, there. Nice, if you just put your cards on the first post, its a lot more tidier and people won't need to scroll down to find your update card(s). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vyoung44 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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