The Thought's Of Life (A Short Story) PG

[KurashiDragon]

This is my very first Fanfic. It's a short story of a soldier and a family man. I literally have no idea how to write a fanfic and my english sucks REALLY bad. However using WordPerfect at the very least I won't have as many problems with this story. I can only hope that this is good and follows the rules. If not I'm sorry.

 

"Isn't it curious how the Clouds move around so casually?" John thought silently looking into the sky. His eyes waver a bit as he looks at his body. “Huh.... I’m shot in 3 places and yet I can’t feel a thing. Am I paralyzed or do is there something else." John gently smile at these thoughts as his eyes close to the soft winds. “Hmm.... who’s there.” John say when he hear a silent ring then a faint whisper. “I know that voice..... Elen.” His mind turns to her as people come to John's aid. They try to talk to him but his hearing goes when he thinks of her. Memories of her come from the darkness in a group. He focus on one particular one and travel into it.

 

“ Where am I.” I look around and see my kitchen. There’s nobody here. Suddenly I hear someone walking downstairs. “Elen.....” She comes down the stairs in a white gown. Any stanger would swear its an angel or a Ghost coming from heaven. Everyone likes to see her wear it just to see her like she is now. She’s a truly beautiful woman. “Good morning John.” She looks at me and kisses his cheek. Suddenly John finds himself at the table with only his mind wondering. “I can’t move by body of my own free will but I’m still moving. How is this possible?” Elen smiles as she passes John at the table. John simles back and look to the mirror to to his left left. His eyes are weary and dull from a lackluster life. Its just another day for him. It stays silent for a few minutes before an alarm suddenly goes off upstairs. It quickly turns off and goes silent for another few minutes. Elen then goes to the stairs and yells. "Are you kids ready for school?" Suddenly there is rustling going on upstairs as a reply comes down. "Yea, yea quit yelling! We're up!" John chuckles at this as the kids come downstairs. The eldest is a long and skinny Male names Tom, the middle child is a smaller but still skinny female named Elie, and the youngest is a small pudgy male named James. "Don't yell at your mother! Just hurry up!" John say this with a silent but with a commanding voice so none of the children can ever guess his thoughts are so they're always on alert. The children apologize to her as they sit in their chairs for breakfast. Elen puts down some pancakes with bacon as everyone passes them out. A typical family breakfast in this house.

 

Everything gets silent again. Breakfast quickly gets done and everyone gets ready for the day. John approach Tom and looks at him expectiantly. “Are you ready for the test today?” Tom looks at John suprised. He knew that the test was today and he did study but he suddenly nervous. It seems like he completely forgot everything he studied yesterday just by asking that question. John regrets it instantly but sense he never show his emotions to the kids Tom looks at him as if John's expecting a very serious answer. “Um.... I’m ready. I mean it’s only the last test of the year which counts for 20% of my grade. I’ve gotten through it before right?” John laughs a little bit on the inside. He’s very clearly not ready now. To get him back into it I try to coax him. “Don’t worry about it. I saw you study all yesterday. I’m sure you’ll do fine.” Tom smiles at a little but He still seems nervous even though it's not as nervous as he was a second ago. “Thanks, I’m sure I’ll do good.” He walks outside and waits with the rest of the kids. The bus comes by soon after and they wave goodbye as they head off. Elen and John go inside to prepare for the rest of the day.

 

Suddenly everything turns white. John closes his eyes at it as everything goes dim again. John open his eyes and see the sky again. “It was nothing more than a memory huh?” John looks around again and see some people around him tending to his wounds. “He’s losing to much blood.” The one near his chest trying to bandage his wounds but the blood just won’t stop. “It’s no good.... am I going to die?” John think this through a little and with a clear mind he accepts this as a fact. However he's still sad at the fact he's gonna die. His mind goes dark once more as more memories go though his mind. There are so many that he get a headache from it. It felt like a library of John's life. One particular one goes into his center of vision. His mind is thinking or his family so much it goes to one in the far past.

 

John's eyes become clear and open. He looks around and sees rides and food all around me. “The fair. I haven’t been here sense....” He goes to a mirror and what he sees a 10 year old kid. “Wow, it’s been so long. I can’t even recognize myself." John marvels at this. His body is healthy and youthful. It’s been so long sense he's felt this way. However John soon realizes that this is just an illusion his mind had thought up. It's not really real. He finds myself near the Ferris Wheel and when starts look around he gets hit in the head by someone behind him. The pain was unbearable and while shocked that something had hit or even surprised him John's even more shocked that he could feel pain. How is it that he's capable of feeling pain if this is nothing more than an illusion. While baffled he turns his eyes to the striker as his body takes control over itself. “What are you doing?” It’s Elen as a kid. She's a preschool friend and while John didn’t have very many friends she was always there for him so he never felt very unlucky or lonely. No wonder why he's in love with her. It seems so obvious now that he thinks about it. “Your just standing there all weird like. It’s creeping me out.” John stands up while still holding his head in pain. “You can’t just go up and hit someone in the head Elen. I could had brain damage or something. How would you feel if you suddenly gave me brain damage.” At that moment John remembered that not only was he a geek when he was young John was very frail. He got so easily he always thought that if he gets hit hard enough something would get broken or damaged. It was just the way John was. “Stop being silly John you’ll just get hit again.” She laughs at me as John as he rubs his head.

 

After a little while of waiting John hears footsteps and see his mom with a pile to tickets. "She’s still alive in this memory." John thinks and gets so overjoyed that he's seeing her again. “Are you guys enjoying the fair so far?” She says joyfully as she hands John and Elen 20 tickets each. "Yep, it's great! There are lots of great lives isn’t that right John?" There’s actually no disagreeing with her. She was very aggressive when she was a kid. She was always telling John to be a man and act big. John never could pull it off though. “Um... of course. So where should we go now?” John say worriedly as they look around to find a good ride. There were plenty of good ones but they were either very scary or had long lines. John couldn’t make up his mind. “Ugh... I’ll choose.” Elen looks around and sees a line that’s small. However the Coaster looked so scary that even in the present it seems bigger then the entire earth. John instantly says no but Elen drags him with her anyways. The line quickly gets shorter and then suddenly their next. John looks for the measurements and prays that he's not big enough. When he finds it he stand next to the measurement and sees that he's just big enough. Elen is the same size as John so they both go in together. “I’m gonna die aren’t I?” John asks as he get strapped in next to Elen. “Probably.....” That never made him feel good. John always asked that question when faced with a truly terrible situation and he always got the same answer out of her. The engine starts up and they make our way up. While going up John's mind goes though all sorts of scenarios. He thinks of all the ways this could horribly go wrong. The ride finally makes it to the top. The wait for the fall made John that the ride had broken but that was surely not the case as the ride went down. John screamed so loud on this ride he screamed louder than everyone else. Everybody near the Coaster could tell where he was.

 

When the ride was finally done John felt horrible. That was extremely scary and there was no getting past that. However he had another problem. Before he actually got on John had to much to eat. He wasn't expecting to go to the fair today so he had a big breakfast. His stomach felt like it was going to burst as he made my way out. He didn’t make it 1 step out of the ride before he threw up. While everyone chuckled a little John looked and noticed that he had thrown up in the engine. The engine spurred a little bit before shutting off. Everyone looked at it with shock. John's mother had to pay for the repair. John got grounded for 2 weeks after that and his mom’s very first thought when John turned 18 was where’s the money for that ride.

 

A sudden light appeared again and John knew this was it for this memory. John opens my eyes to see many more people around him now. They tried and tried but there was just nothing they could do. Johns site starts to give in and everything gets blurry. John knew his time was close so he looked around one last time and found one more memory. This one he couldn’t help but cry for. “My family.... I’m sorry.” He says as he closes his eyes.

 

John looks around and find himself near a boat. He's in an army uniform with many stars. He was saluting the men as they went into the boat and he was going with them. As John was getting ready to sail his family arrives. His children are now teenagers and Elen is elderly but still beautiful. John went to hug them as soon as he saw them. “I know I shouldn’t go but this is something I have to do. I'm sorry.” The look at him with their faces full of tears exept Elen who's very silent and looking away. She gets the courage to speak to him. “Just promise.... Promise me you’ll come back." Everything goes silent. John doesn't know what will happen and so he never promises something because he never wants to go through the consequences of that broken promise. He chokes up the tears and look at them with a smile. “I promise that boat will come back with me on it.” John gives his family one last hug. “See ya later.” John never did like to say goodbye. It had always felt like that with goodbye it would be the last time. Elen had known that ever sense she had first said goodbye to John. She smiles and waves as he gets on the boat. As it moves away he thinks of nothing else but seeing them again.

 

Everything turns white and John opens his eyes. However everything gets dimmer as soon as it turns bright. This is it and he knew it. John takes one last look around. “Don’t give up on us John! Don’t give up!” John couldn’t hear him. His hearing was gone and his site was all but gone. As his head goes to the ground all he could do now was mutter his last words. “Elen.... I’m sorry...... I can’t see that beautiful smile anymore.” His eyes close with nothing more than the site of his family.

 

"Everything is dark. Darkness.... darkness..... am I dead." John contimplates the thoughts of his death then looks forward. He sees a small light. He makes his way towards it. "Is this the afterlife? What will happen?" He goes throught the light and sees a table. He looks around and see that this is his dining room. Where is he? He hears things going on in the kitchen. He goes in and sees Elen is in the kitchen. She’s getting dinner ready. "Was it all a dream or is this a dream?" He goes to touch her but he just phases through her. He must be a spirit. However his body starts fading away. He knows he doesn't have much time. What would he do? She was standing right there and she couldn’t even see him. John knew he had to do something no matter how much he didn't want this he knew he had to do something. He went to the dining room where there was a recent picture of the family. He tries to touch it but his hand phases through again. He keeps trying and trying but it didn't work. Elen starts to walk away and his body is all but gone. He has no more time. With all his strength he trys once more to push the picture. It falls over and breaks on the floor. Everyone goes in and looks at the picture. John moves back as Elen picks it up. John fades away as she looks at him. “Goodbye.....” She says sadly as John wave to her and dissapears.

[fenrir]

I didn't get past the first sentence.

 

First person is generally a big no-no, unless you can pull it off right. That, and I'm a bit tired of reading some of the other fictions around this site.

 

Just putting that out there, 1st person is highly discouraged.

[KurashiDragon]

I didn't know that. I haven't done first person in a long time. This is certainly the first time I've done it in a story. Anybody who's thinking of saying the same time please don't. Kinda spammy.

[KurashiDragon]

Ok I'm gonna bump right here. I edited out some problems and made it 3rd person. I hope this helps in the general opinion of this story.