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Womi

By Womi
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Snitch Newbie

Snitch

Posted
Posted

^You should have let them disconnect :/

 

That's what Kizzi said. D:

 

Currently in the middle of a long conversation with a Scottish person. XD

 

[spoiler=SEMI-NSFW' date= but not really.]You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hiyahh :)

You: Hello.

You: What's up?

Stranger: nm you

You: Nothing much.

Stranger: soo where you from ??

You: England.

You: It's a nice place.

You: Though kinda scummy.

Stranger: im from scotland

You: Ah...I see...

You: WELL.

You: CAN YOU PLAY THE BAGPIPES? =D

Stranger: no :(

You: ...what.

You: How...how is this possible?

You: Aren't you like...

You: Shot out of the womb with the ability to play?

You: I swear it's like...fact.

You: That all Scottish people play bagpipes.

Stranger: haha i have never tried lol

You: But surely you can.

You: I mean, as I said.

You: You get babies straight out of the vagina playing away on them 'pipes.

Stranger: well i must not be that talented

You: ...damn.l

You: That's a shame.

You: Don't kill yourself though.

You: I mean, it's not THAT important...

Stranger: lol anyway thats sterotypical lmao and ermm im not ginger and i hate haggis

You: I mean, sure, you're an outcast from all Scottish people...

You: And perhaps yo- WHAT?!

You: YOU'RE NOT GINGER?!

Stranger: no

You: God.

You: You're defying all the laws of Scottish people.

You: Haven't they burned you yet?

Stranger: no

You: Why not?

You: Did you have sex with the judge and jury?

You: That's a good way to get out of court, you know.

You: Also.

You: If you're in Rhode Island.

You: And you get stopped by cops.

You: Do or get someone to do gay stuff to themselves.

You: As in, male people.

You: As like.

You: All Rhode Island cops are gay.

Stranger: okay thanks for that info

You: You're welcome.

You: That'll probably be useful to you one day.

You: When you're going sixty and still doing it...

You: ...and perhaps when you're driving a car, too!

Stranger: yeahh you never know when you need some info like that

You: I know.

You: That reminds me of that xkcd comic.

You: Where he creates a program to automatically buy $1 items off eBay.

You: Because he loves packages.

You: And he keeps getting stuff.

You: And he's like.

You: "I better cancel that subscription before I get the F.B.I. on me."

You: Because he gets lube and sheet.

Stranger: lol

You: It's funny.

Stranger: well you made me laugh lol

You: I did?

You: Yay. =D

Stranger: yahh

You: I should do stand-up.

You: That's what my friends say. D:

You: Because I made up this joke.

Stranger: nahh your legs might get too sore

You: And it's like, "I was talking to my blind friend the other day, and we were discussing bowling plans for the weekend..."

You: "...and as I finished, he turns to me, proclaiming, 'Ah, I see then. 6 PM then?'"

You: "And I turn to him, and go, "You see?" And he nods."

You: "And then I stand up, grab my coat, and say, "You sir, are a funking liar." and leave."

You: :D

Stranger: lol

Stranger: thats good

You: Thank you. ;D

Stranger: you remind me of my frind

Stranger: *friend

You: lol.

You: My police chief was giving a talk on heroin the other day...

You: You couldn't understand a word he was saying, and all he would talk about was 'Colours'.

You: Ooh, Coldplay has come on.

You: I love Coldplay.

You: Aren't they big in Scotland?

Stranger: yeahh

You: I thought they were.

You: There's like, a huge rumour that goes round saying that Chris Martin is Scottish.

You: But he isn't, he's English.

You: HAH, funny thought.

You: Babies popping out of the vagina, grabbing bagpipes and playing Coldplay songs.

You: Because that's obviously passed on too.

You: Every Scottish baby has immediate knowledge of bagpipe-playing and Coldplay songs.

You: Except that one that you know you've heard it but you can't remember the title for the life of you, as you could say that 'All their songs sound the same but they're still funking good'.

Stranger: lol

You: Either way, Coldplay are very good.

You: They're not amazing live though.

You: You know what.

You: You should go see if you could play the bagpipes.

You: Then you should try and join Coldplay.

You: They could use a bagpipe-player to make their songs even harder to remember.

Stranger: omg thats a plan lol

You: Everyone'll be like, "Yeah, that song...with the whole bagpipe solo."

You: And then we'll all know. Because they'll only have ONE song with bagpipes before they kick the person playing the bagpipes out for being so shitty and destroying the mood of their band.

Stranger: i would be known world wide as the one who plays bagpipes in coldplay

You: For one song, anyway.

Stranger: yeahh thanks ruined my dreams ther

You: Maybe Coldplay will just go steal some baby.

You: And force it to play the bagpipes for them.

You: ...wait, I've worked this out now!

You: COLDPLAY STEAL BABIES!

You: Coldplay is really a hidden organisation in Antartica...

You: ...where they have a nursery to play with the babies...in the COLD!

You: COLD surroundings to PLAY with the babies.

You: Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

Stranger: lmao

You: This is all coming together now.

Stranger: lol

Stranger: right i have got to go now :( :(

You: Aww.

You: Goodbye my Scottish acquantance.

You: And by the way, I know you dyed your hair really.

You: You can't hide what's inside. =D

Stranger: goodbye my english stand up comedian

You: *tips hat*

Stranger: sshhhhhh dont tell anyone i am really a ginger :( the secret will be blown

You: I KNEW IT.

Stranger: omg you do make me laugh btw

You: ^-^

You: Ta.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

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Aximil Newbie

Aximil

Posted
Posted

This Sexual Survey sheet is getting on my nerves. None of you were doing anything involving it. So I made it up and used it to find women to cyber with. After almost a week of me doing that, it started showing up here and TTT is getting the credit for it. It is mine.

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Kizzi Newbie

Kizzi

Posted
Posted

This Sexual Survey s*** is getting on my nerves. None of you were doing anything involving it. So I made it up and used it to find women to cyber with. After almost a week of me doing that' date=' it started showing up here and TTT is getting the credit for it. It is mine.

[/quote']

 

What the hell is the sexual survey?

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Guest Morpheous Erebos

Guest Morpheous Erebos

Posted
Posted

[spoiler=It's like she wanted a hook-up =O]You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hey asl

You: 15 M US

Stranger: 15f us

You: What's up?

Stranger: Nothin just chillin u?

You: Yeah, me too. Bored outta my skull...

Stranger: Haha no way same:)

Stranger: So how r u?

You: Tired lol

Stranger: Haha which state do u live in

You: NJ

Your conversational partner has disconnected

 

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Snitch Newbie

Snitch

Posted
Posted

[spoiler=SEMI-NSFW]You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: asl?

You: 18 F UK U

Stranger: 19 m usa

You: GOD.

You: EVERYONE MISSES IT.

You: IN PLAIN SIHGT.

You: 'funk YOU'.

You: CAN'T YOU SEE IT.

You: WHAT A NUBLET.

Stranger: yeah sick dude

Stranger: i see

You: Yup.

You: It's pretty good.

Stranger: i know who u are

You: At asl defensive.

You: YOU DO?!

Stranger: i only know one person that says nublet

You: Who's that.

Stranger: u are from maine

You: ...wtf is maine?

You: I don't live in a lion.

Stranger: fu i know that you are

You: But, sir, I don't live in a lion...

You: I mean, you might, and I'm sure you enjoy your maine...

Stranger: or dod u

You: Which is spelt mane, by the way.

Stranger: u suck dick

You: Do I?

Stranger: idk

You: I don't think I've ever actually done that to be perfectly honest with you.

You: Going back a few messages...

You: What is 'dod'?

You: Is it your lionspeak?

Stranger: i meant did srry

You: Or did I?

You: Isn't that some tense problems?

Stranger: fu ritchie

You: Ritchie?

You: Oh.

You: So you know my friend Sparky/

Stranger: fu dude i know who u r

You: You do?

You: Well.

You: Erm...

Stranger: yeah

You: I think the mane's fleas are messing with your head, man.

Stranger: fu u name is zach

You: My name is Zach?

You: Right...so you say, "fu ritchie" implying my name is Ritchie, and then you say my name is Zach?

You: I must tell you sir, I believe you are deranged.

You: You should get off your mane as soon as possible and visit a hospital.

Stranger: zach ritchie

Stranger: sand jabroni

You: Those are two very different phrases.

You: The latter is your mother's street nickname.

You: But the earlier, sir, I assure you.

You: Is not my name.

Stranger: fu

Stranger: fu it is

You: Really?

Stranger: yeah

You: Has it never occurred to you that with over six billion people populating the earth, more than one could use the phrase, 'nublet'?

You: Or has the mane sort of 'separated' you from the world?

Stranger: um i never said that that was the reason

You: Yes. Yes you did.

You: I feel sorry for you.

You: Not only are you deranged and have a mother who goes by 'sand jabroni', you also have short-term memory loss. D:

You: You poor, poor little boy.

Stranger: so u are rico

Stranger: she a gypsy

You: I see...

You: So...she is a gypsy...

You: On a...mane?

You: It must be hard to live there.

Stranger: your mom she likes the smell of me jabroni

Stranger: your mom likes it

You: She does?

You: Well, I honestly wouldn't know, as I don't stalk my mother like yourself.

You: As I do know that you like the smell of your mother's jabroni.

You: And you just can't get enouhg.

You: Dun dun dun dun dun dun.

You: Dun dun dun dun dun dun.

You: Dun dun dun dun dun dun.

Stranger: yes

You: Dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun.

Stranger: no your mom likes the smell of my jabroni

You: I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH!

You: I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH!

You: Take it away, maneman!

Stranger: whatever sand jabroni

You: I'm not your mother.

You: And if you're saying I am.

You: Then your mother is called Zach Ritchie.

You: Making her a him.

You: Which means you have a gay partnership who raised you.

You: I'm sorry I have to tell it to you like this.

Stranger: yeah you are mommy

Stranger: u arezach ritchie

Stranger: sup bro

You: Again, I ask; I am?

Stranger: dude seriously i know it is you

You: You...do?

Stranger: yes

You: I assure you, sir, I do not live in a mane.

You: I think all the lion growling is getting to your head.

Stranger: the state jabroni

You: Making your brain cells die.

You: Your mane has states?

Stranger: wtf

You: That's one clever lion.

You: To be able to divide it's mane into states...

You: Wow.

Stranger: true

You: Very much so.

You: So...you have a state called mane in the mane?

You: It's clearly not a very creative lion.

Stranger: fu

You: What would you say, good sir, is worth more; intelligence or imagination?

You: What would you treat as more valued.

Stranger: fu

You: 'Fu' was not an option.

You: I'm not even sure what fu is.

You: Is it some karate move?

You: Like...kung-fu.

You: And...kung-fu pandas.

You: OOH. Do Kung-fu Pandas live in the mane?

Stranger: k i am closing this chat just say if u are zach or not

You: I am not.

You: But for all you know.

You: I could be.

You: Goodbye, good sir; have fun in your state of mane in the mane of a lion!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

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Aximil Newbie

Aximil

Posted
Posted

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Cheese pizza!

Stranger: with pineapple!

You: Yes. Very yummy.

Stranger: in my tummy

You: Now bend over. >_>

Stranger: hahahaha

You: I mean it. Bubba demands your ass!

Stranger: ASL

You: All you need to know is that my cock is going to be in your ass in about 3 seconds.

Stranger: u gay?

You: Nope. But I'm going to make you squeal.

Stranger: ouch

You: Beg for mercy, little piggy!

Stranger: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You: I am bored of you now. Go die in a ditch.

You have disconnected.

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Enrise Newbie

Enrise

Posted
Posted

You: We’re no strangers to love,

Stranger: turkey

Stranger: male

Stranger: u

You: You know the rules and so do I.

You: A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of,

You: You wouldnt get this from any other guy.

Stranger: you gat

You: I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling,

Stranger: you gay

You: Gotta make you understand…

You: Never gonna give you up,

Never gonna let you down,

Never gonna run around and desert you.

Never gonna make you cry,

Never gonna say goodbye,

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

He hates the Rick Roll D=

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Godot Newbie

Godot

Posted
Posted

[spoiler=My new Trademark]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: yes.

You: CTHULU!

 

Stranger: what the heck...

You: CTHULU

Stranger: sorry i didnt realize i wrote yes...

You: CTHULU

Stranger: uhm...

You: CTHULU

You: CTHULU

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

I think this would get pretty annoying.

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