Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 ok, this is my first attempt to make a card. I think teh pic is good. I've checked the OCG Thread, so I guess my grammar isn't sooo bad.I'd appreciate criticism and suggestions.I think the effect is pretty readable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ģค๓blє Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 It's not bad... Try this though... ", it is destroyed" -> "destroy that card""Once per turn, draw a card" -> I'm not sure, but I know the current wording is incorrect. Unless if you meant to draw an extra card each turn. If it is, than add this -> "Otherwise, destroy that card." Your OCG is excellent for a newcomer. Great Job!EDIT: Avatar is the best movie, just saw it yesterday -.^ I love the red dragon o.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 LoL I saw it saturday, and I really loved it. The characters look so real!And I love the red dragon, too ^^ And thanks for the corrections. And, yes, I meant an extra card each turn.I'll wait to see other comments, then I fix it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JG. Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 That's actually one of the best cards I've ever seen from a new member. Agreed, the pic is very good. There are a few minor OCG errors, but nothing much to drag it down. Overall, you get 7.9/10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Thanks a lot, ~JG~.If you found any error different than gamble did, please point, so I will fix it :]If you want the pic, I can send you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JG. Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Nope, all I found were the ones he also found. And nah, I have my own secret stash ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Ok then... :]Thanks, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disastermaster2000 Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 OMG. That's like 75% better than my 1st card. ah well. SUPER MINOR OCG = -.1 (I probably would have made that mistake too..... Wow, you're smarter than me, to compare your cards with other ppls to make sure it gets 10/10...)9.9/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Lol.I guess my first card isn't that bad because I've read the OCG Thread many times 2lrn ^^And I'm a long time watcher of this site, before I register it. Anyway, if you want the pic... :] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ģค๓blє Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Nope' date=' all I found were the ones he also found. And nah, I have my own secret stash ;D[/quote'] o.o I found all the errors ~JG~ would have found... I think I'm getting better at OCG, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Ok, I fixed the effect. What do you guys say now? :] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◎Kaleidoscope Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Great job for someone so new! Effect may be a bit OP (overpowered), but overall, a very nice job. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Thankz, Blaze! I'd like to know what is overpowered on it, thought. Just to know, so I can make a more balanced card next time ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breakaway Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 The only thing i see that bothers me is that the whole drawing thing needs a Draw back so i'd have OCG - Once per turn, you can draw a card. If that card is a Level 4 or lower Thunder-Type monster you can Special Summon it.OrOCG - Once per turn, you can discard a card to draw a card. If the drawn card is a Thunder-Type monster you can Special Summon it. So i would add one of those then it wont be so OPed So you can have one of those instead of saying "In face up Attack Position. Otherwise, destroy that card." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Thanks, I appreaciate your suggestions.But it isn`t optional to draw a card. So, it must be - Draw a card. Not you can draw a card.And I would really like to know what is overpowered on it.Anyway, what about if the card`s ATK is higher than 2000 it is destroyed.? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breakaway Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Well the whole fact that yu can Special Summon any Thunder-Type monster so it could be an Extreamly powerfull one or something so thats why i sugjested a "Level 4 or Lower" and you can just git ride of the whole Otherwise destroy it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Hm... Thanks.I`ll change it. =] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breakaway Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 No Problem glad to help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-DOOM Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Like Breakaway said, the card needs a Drawback. The rest is very good, pic is fine minor OCG errors, i think Gamble pointed them out. Overall pretty nice card, 8,5/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Thanks, HP Doom.Anyone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breakaway Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 Nope but there is relly no need for it to be in Face Up attack postiton and would you mind sending me the Pic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avatar12 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 I'll send it right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 the draw power effect makes it OPed you need to add a drawback to that effect the rest of the OCG for the most part is fine, as is the effect 8.2/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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