1st Set of cards =D Hope you like them

[taiyouai]

Here are my 1st 2 Cards

This card can only be Ritual Summon by the effect of "Light and Dark Eyes". Once per turn you can remove from play 1 face up DARK or LIGHT Monster at the opponent's side of the field. For each monster removed from play this card gains 200 ATK and DEF points. When this card is destroyed remove it from play.

This card is used to Ritual summon 1 "Taiyouai" from your Deck, hand, or Graveyard. You must off monsters who's total level equals 8 starts or higher.

 

Rate Comment and all that stuff. I edited the pictures myself on PS. "Taiyouai" was originally Dark from D.N.Angel and "Light and Dark Eyes" was originally from Code Geass. (P.s. I might fix the Image on "Light and Dark Eyes" I kind of rushed it but for the most part it looks good :D) Updated pictures, and cards please please check lower down on the replies.

[baily18]

Deck and Graveyard are capitilized

[taiyouai]

Deck and Graveyard are capitilized

 

Thanks didn't catch it, Just changed it :D

[KindredTether]

6/10.:D

[ragnarok1945]

your ritual's effect ok, since it does gain atk, but at the same time it clears your opponent's field

 

and the drawback balances it out quite well

 

7.4/10

[Jazin Kay]

2nd image is a poor recolor from Code Geass. Can't say I like it.

[taiyouai]

Here is my Re-Edit of them, >< before I rushed them so they sucked. I changed the effect of "Taiyouai" so that it is a little better, and edited the pic. on "Light and Dark Eyes"

Lore: This card can only be Ritual Summon by the effect of "Light and Dark Eyes". Once per turn you can remove from play 1 face up DARK or LIGHT Monster on your side of the field, or in your Graveyard. For each monster removed from play this card gains 200 ATK and DEF points. When this card is destroyed remove it from play.

Lore: This card is used to Ritual summon 1 "Taiyouai" from your Deck, hand, or Graveyard. You must offer monsters who's total level equals 8 starts or higher.

I think they are a lot better this time :D Tell me what you think of the Edited versions of them.

[Kuraison]

Nice job the edit looks way better. 9/10

[jamora]

it should be card not effect , but they are ok for a noob 7/10

[Guest Zeonark]

Take out "Points" after ATK and DEF on the monster. Also, face up is face-up and a comma should be in between "When this card is destroyed" and "remove it from play". I'd consider running this in a Twilight deck, maybe. But he isn't very Spellcaster-ish. Maybe a Warrior would do instead.

 

Also on the Spell, it's stars. Not starts. o: And you need to get the Ritual Symbol on it.

 

8/10

[taiyouai]

it should be card not effect ' date=' but they are ok for a noob 7/10

[/quote']

 

You mean like this

"This card can only be Ritual Summon by the card "Light and Dark Eyes". ..."

rather then

"This card can only be Ritual Summon by the effect of "Light and Dark Eyes". ..."

If so I'll fix it and edit the other one, beside I have a new card to add.

---

Take out "Points" after ATK and DEF on the monster. Also' date=' face up is face-up and a comma should be in between "When this card is destroyed" and "remove it from play". I'd consider running this in a Twilight deck, maybe. But he isn't very Spellcaster-ish. Maybe a Warrior would do instead.

 

Also on the Spell, it's stars. Not starts. o: And you need to get the Ritual Symbol on it.

 

8/10

[/quote']

 

Okay Thanks :) I'll change a few things and post the new ones as a reply

[jamora]

yep and goood now :)

[taiyouai]

Here is the edited cards, and an additional one I made a little bit ago.

This card can only be Ritual Summon by the card "Light and Dark Eyes". Once per turn, you can remove from play 1 face-up DARK or LIGHT monster on your side of the field, or in your Graveyard. For each monster removed from play this card gains 200 ATK and DEF. When this card is destroyed, remove it from play.

This card is used to Ritual summon 1 "Taiyouai" from your Deck, hand, or Graveyard. You must offer monsters who's total level equals 8 stars or higher.

Activate only if "Taiyouai" is removed from play. Pay 2000 Life Points. Return "Taiyouai" to your hand and return all removed from play monsters back into their respective Graveyards.

[taiyouai]

Bump, Just wonder what people think about the Newest cards Right above this post...

Rate them, Comment, Tell me what I can do to make them "better' or at least correct any OCG errors I might have.

 

In Advance, Thanks to those that are honest. They are my 1st cards I'm going to use "Taiyouai" as my card so I want him Perfect... Plox help.

[ChaosMuramasa]

I like the concept of the new card. The picture is rather awesome too.

 

OCG for the new card:

Activate only if "Taiyouai" is removed from play. Pay 2000 Life Points. Return "Taiyouai" to your hand and return all removed from play monsters back into their respective Graveyards.

 

For Taiyouai, "Monster" doesn't need to be capitalized. You also need a comma here:

Once per turn, you can remove from play...

 

Other than that, it's all good. 8.5 / 10.

[taiyouai]

I like the concept of the new card. The picture is rather awesome too.

 

OCG for the new card:

Activate only if "Taiyouai" is removed from play. Pay 2000 Life Points. Return "Taiyouai" to your hand and return all removed from play monsters back into their respective Graveyards.

 

For Taiyouai' date=' "Monster" doesn't need to be capitalized. You also need a comma here:

Once per turn[b'],[/b] you can remove from play...

 

Other than that, it's all good. 8.5 / 10.

 

Kay Just made the changes and edited the previous post w/ the cards.

Thankz