Skippy Canoe Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Let's skip the boring intro, and get right to it. Sorry for how fast the prologue moves, though. And I think I really need improvement on giving the characters unique personalities. [spoiler=[b]Prologue[/b]] Fission It’s still argued today who the first person to split an atom in a controlled manner was. All we’re sure of is that it took place in the early 1900’s. The process of splitting an atom’s nucleus is called nuclear fission. What can we discover by doing this? “Nah nah nah boo boo, you can’t catch me!” mocked eight-year-old Sarah Sullivan. “No fair, you got a head start!” screamed Sarah’s twin brother, Bradley. The two were racing down the sidewalk, all the way to their future high school. Their parents were both absent at the moment, and either way, didn’t care what they did at all. Sarah and Bradley both knew the way by now. As the school grew closer, Sarah sped up. Then, the girl stopped. Bradley raced up behind her, and stopped as well. Sarah pointed at a structure that was across a river from them, built into a steep slope. It was about as large as a cathedral, but looked nothing like one. On a plain brick wall the words “Wentsworth Hanna Atomic Research” were inscripted. Sarah surprisingly never noticed this before. Carefully, she climbed down the slope leading to the rushing river. After reaching the surface, she stepped on a mossy rock. Fortunately, a trail of conveniently placed stones led across the river. Sarah, an accomplished young gymnist, held her arms out with graceful posture. With her chin up high, she began stepping across the wet stones. Finally, Sarah made it to the other side. Her brother watched from the sidewalk with anticipation. Sarah pulled herself up the other side of the slope with her muddy fingers. This structure she had observed actually had a path leading to another street in a separate subdivision behind it. It was in quite a strange place, but nevertheless, curious Sarah made her way to the front of the building. She noticed that the front doors were wide open, and walked in nonchalantly. An accomplished woman greeted her. “Welcome young one. Are you lost?” said the woman in her “baby voice.” She reached to shake Sarah’s hand, but then withdrew after seeing how filthy it was. “No, I’m not, lady. What is this place?” Sarah spoke shortly. “Well, this is the Wentsworth Hanna Atomic Research Society. I’m Daphne Wentsworth. My father founded this place.” “What do you do here?” “Well, we work with the atomic structures of different materials, and, above all, harness the energy of nuclear fission.” “Okay. Nice to meet you,” said Sarah, yawning, then leaving. Sarah thought nothing of this encounter, but little did she know that this would later be a massive part of her future. That woman had lied. The society did not harness the energy of fission. In fact, they split nuclei to test a certain theory. This later became known as the Lattice Theory; the theory that an atom contained particles from multiple universes, like a complicated lattice design. … “Okay, class. To review, I will be putting you into groups of two, and your pair will be responsible for having a ten-sentence conversation in Italiano,” announced Mrs. Costa, Sarah’s current eleventh grade Italian teacher. Italian was a strange class to have in a high school in the area. Groans came from her pupils when Mrs. Costa finished. “And I am not finished, class. Tomorrow, we will begin reading our novels, which, as you know, will be written in Italiano.” More groans came. Sarah had a headache, and covered her ears, irritated. Suddenly, one student stood up. His face was dripping with angry sweat, and he gazed at the classroom with a scolding stare. Then, with a quick flick of his hand, he drew a pistol, and pointed it at Mrs. Costa. Nervously, he swallowed, and trudged up to the front of the room. All of the class was silent. Mrs. Costa wore an irritated expression upon her face, as if she was trying to stay calm. “Put it down, now,” stated Mrs. Costa firmly. On her podium was an emergency button, which she quietly pressed. “My life has fallen apart because of you!” shouted the student, Joseph Rizzo. “You can’t blame a teacher for your failure,” replied Mrs. Costa, “because you’re my only failing student.” Without thinking, Joseph pulled his trigger, and a loud boom sounded. Sarah’s headache surged painfully. Everyone in the class screamed. Blood covered Sarah and the others in the first row of desks. Mrs. Costa had been shot in the head. Slowly, she knelt to the ground in her floral dress, and slumped to the floor, dead. Sirens sounded outside from the wide open window in the room. Most of the class got up and ran out, including Sarah. Joseph yelled inaudibly and shot more, causing more screams. All shots missed except one. A bullet pierced the arm of Kaleigh Benkner, who happened to be, according to others, the most gorgeous girl in school. Kaleigh kneeled and grabbed her arm while others ran out. Sarah ran all the way to the front entrance. Not only was Mrs. Costa her teacher, but she was her married-in aunt. Sarah bolted all the way back down the sidewalk through cold snow without any winter clothing. Blizzardly gales blew snowflakes off the ground, and made already floating ones shuffle violently. Tears streamed down Sarah’s face, and began to crystalize. Sarah then stopped, just as she did nine years ago during the summer. She saw the Wentsworth Hanna Atomic Research Society building. It was deserted and destroyed. Graffiti stained the blank brick wall that used to be so easily read. Sarah, thinking nothing specific now, allowed herself to slide down to the river. She walked carefully across the frozen water in her blood-spattered clothing, being careful to be balanced. Finally, she had made it up the second slope, and around to the building. The heavy metal doors were no longer open, but lazily shut, and frozen that way. Sarah, having started karate classes the year after she first saw the building, attempted to break the ice build-up by kicking the door. Not even Sarah knew why she cared at this moment to go inside. The door’s ice didn’t break, so she removed her shoe. In one stocking foot, Sarah hit the crack between the doors with her shoe. Eventually, the ice had crumbled away from the rusty doors. Being careful to be quiet, Sarah opened one of the large doors, finding it heavier than she thought it would be. The inside was empty. There was no furniture or people. All Sarah saw was another large door at the side of the room, which was kept locked by a dusty keypad. The electronic keypad appeared broken, so Sarah turned the wheel on the chrome-finished door. She wasn’t thinking straight anymore. Her reactions were so quick and thorough; Sarah felt like an emotionless robot. The cold door opened with ease, and Sarah found herself in a small room with pipe-lined walls. The next door had a foggy window on it, so Sarah peered through it without opening it. The door was on one surface of a large metallic sphere lined with observation windows, and still lit with bright flood-lights. But this wasn’t what surprised her. In the center of the sphere, what looked like a window to another place existed. It looked like a tear in fabric, like threads had broken and unraveled. The world looked similar to Sarah’s own. As she observed this in awe, a sudden shock brought her back into reality. A naked man popped up at the window. He had twisted fangs, and his face was wounded. He looked like what she would call a zombie. Loudly, he growled at her through the glass, and she screamed. Quicky, Sarah turned around and bolted back to Millenium Valley High School. … Since camera footage of Mrs. Costa’s death was on hand, Sarah did not need to testify in his court case. Only Kaleigh, whose arm had to be amputated due to her wound, felt obliged to do so, and did, in fact, do so. The excitement in school had already died back down. Sarah still questioned what she had seen in the Wentsworth Hanna building. After a few days, Sarah decided to look up Daphne Wentsworth in the phone book. She found the number with ease. Dialing the number quickly, Sarah thought of what to ask. A tone sounded, and she put her cell phone to her ear. “Hello?” answered a man. “Uh, hi. May I speak to Daphne?” asked Sarah as politely as possible. “I’m sorry, but Daphne recently disappeared. May I help you?” “Oh, I’m sorry. Well, do you know what happened to her father’s atomic research center?” The man grunted, and then hung up with a quick click. Sarah sighed, and went to her bed. She needed some sleep now. It had been a bad week. Sarah may never be the same. Her parents had already hired a psychologist, whom she was supposed to speak to tomorrow morning. … The man happened to be Daphne’s father, Frederick Wentsworth. After hanging up, he quickly shuffled through some papers at his desk. Finally, he found what he was looking for: a coffee-stained newspaper with a cover article bearing the headline “Wentsworth Hanna Abandoned for Good.” He collapsed into his leather chair and flipped through where the article continued. It explained how Daphne went missing, and that the society had been closed. What it didn’t tell was why any of this had happened. Of course Mr. Wentsworth knew, however. The sorrow-beaten man punched some numbers into his telephone, and raised the receiver to his lips. “Tracy, I’m ready,” he left as a simple message on Tracy Hanna’s answering machine. Later that evening, Tracy returned his call. “Hello, Frederick. Someone’s found out already?” spoke Tracy shakily. “Yes, it’s horrible. Some child knows something about what happened. We need to close this off. We already proved the Lattice Theory. Perhaps we can reverse the effects?” “How do you know she knows about what happened?” “The way she asked about it when she called me two hours ago. Nevermind that. We need to reverse this before they come into our world.” “How do you suggest we do that?” “Well, I have no idea. My only hypothesis is to use the opposite of fission to close it off.” “Fuse atoms back together to fix it?” “Precisely. Meet me at the old building in twenty minutes.” … Frederick entered the building to find the young, beautiful Tracy perched upon the dusty old front desk. She slid off of it upon seeing him. “What do we do?” “Follow me. We need to see what’s happening now.” He led Tracy into the steamy room, and in turn looked into the glass window into the spherical atomic chamber. “Oh God, it’s unraveling faster than we expected. We can’t possible close it up!” yelped Frederick. “We need to get a closer look. Since the chamber has had such a long time to oxidize, I suppose we could just go in safely,” explained Tracy calmly. She jerked the handle on the door she was looking through, and pushed it open. Followed by Frederick, she jumped to the bottom of the sphere, and observed the strange phenomenon from below. Frederick stood near her and observed as well. “Do you think this is where Daph-“ Tracy started. “I know it is,” interrupted Frederick. “We need to enter it. I don’t think these are a dangerous people.” [spoiler=[b]Chapter 1] Tracy nodded reluctantly. She knew it was her fault that Frederick’s daughter was gone, and they needed to seal off this tear somehow. After all, if splitting atoms had exposed parts of other worlds, surely something could reverse this. Frederick had already reached up into the tear, and grabbed solid ground. He pulled himself into the other world, and reached his hand back out for Tracy. Tracy was a petite, fair-skinned, blond, and lifted easily into the other world. ... Sarah had not seen Bradley, or Brad, as he was now called, for several days. He would constantly go missing for days on end now. Her family was used to it by now, and knew what he would do while he was gone. This morning, Sarah had a meeting with her psychologist, Dr. Tracy Hanna, who, surprisingly, was one of the scientists that was a part of the Wentsworth Hanna society. Maybe she could find out more information on the abandoned place. When Sarah was dropped off at the office, she found a note on Tracy’s desk. It read “Be back later” in very sloppy handwriting. Sarah took this as a fine opportunity to return to the fission observatory. She sprinted out of the building all the way back to the old neighborhood where the entrance lay naturally. Noticing the door had been reopened, Sarah stepped through the entrance careful not to make a sound. The transition room door was closed. She walked up to it, and opened it without making a sound. Sure no one was watching her, Sarah opened the door to the spherical laboratory. It was a steep way down to the bottom of the sphere, so Sarah pressed her hands on the walls of the room before sliding down on her feet. Someone had been here for sure. Sarah had no proof, but she could tell. She observed the strange unraveled area of worlds. It looked like a tear that resembled a window to the outdoors. But these outdoors were those of another world. Sarah, knowing she was making a horrible decision, grasped the ledge of solid rock and pulled herself into the hole. Fortunately, being a gymnast gave her the upper-body strength to do this. Sarah stood in the new world. She was in the middle of a vast plain. A city was in the distance. Then she gasped. A mountain range surrounded her, but there were people climbing all over the range. Naked people. Some seemed to be fighting like wild animals. Were people like wild animals here? There was only one way to find out. Sarah ran towards the city she saw. It looked similar to a city in her world, but couldn’t be more different. Becoming more nervous, Sarah ran faster and faster towards the urban area. Fortunately, none of the wild humans were heading towards her. After a few minutes, she had reached the city. She was behind a small building, and had to cross through an alley. More humans walked the streets, but they were clothed. Their clothes seemed to be like Sarah’s world’s, but metallic and glossy. The people didn’t look too different. At least Sarah thought this until she saw a pregnant woman. She didn’t know the woman was pregnant. All she saw was that a huge growth was extending from her head. It engulfed part of her face. Sarah nearly vomited. She did vomit when she saw a man with this kind of growth on his arm. These people got around with cars that looked a lot different than Sarah’s car. They consisted of one wheel between two uplifted metal platforms. The wheels made sparks along the smooth metallic road structures they had built. People stood on the platforms without anything to hold on to. There weren’t any controls, either, it seemed. Buildings were quite similar, except they had no doors. To close doors to others, dangerous lasers were projected from the door’s frame across the entry. Elevators were installed on the outside of buildings, so doors to get inside were on each floor. Luckily, Sarah fit in just enough with her sequined top and jeans. Others still stared, but they figured she just liked to stand out. Sarah observed the city in awe. The roads had no sidewalks, but the strange vehicles would stop if something was in front of them. The citizens of the city had the same hair colors we see today, except some had white, and still looked young. Some had pure red hair, as well. There weren’t any children around, and it seemed as if everyone was solitary and didn’t communicate in any way by talking. The city was almost perfectly silent, also. Sarah had only seen one animal. It was a small bird that was completely silent. It looked like a flamingo, but was bright cyan. It ran down the metallic streets, jumping over the platform vehicles. Sarah finally saw another type of animal. It looked like a small fruit fly, but glowed bright white. They swarmed around the blue city-birds. Sarah didn’t know that these people would eventually cause trouble in her own world. She completely forgot about her whole world already. This was so until she found their advanced weapons. Sarah saw the first weapon she knew of in this world when two citizens were being arrested by two other citizens with bright armbands on their normal clothes. The police-like people grabbed small gun-like devices, and shot the arrested citizens. The guns simply painted the people a bright green color. The police officers then motioned for everyone to step back, and did so themselves. A blinding light then came from the sky. Sarah looked up, and saw that the beam was coming from a tiny dot high in the clouds. When she looked back down, she saw the people explode into a mass of body parts. No blood came from them. Instead, white gas rose into the air. No one seemed to care, but Sarah was horrified. Being careful not to sound out, she walked on. The next weapon she saw was what she called a “slab launcher.” Sarah had made her way to the top of a tall, narrow building. In the distance, she saw a military field. This is where she truly became scared. The slab launcher was a huge cannon, about the size of a normal swimming pool. It was shaped like a large brick. It launched huge slabs of rough rock from itself. Not only this, but the militants were able to attach rockets to different areas on the large slab before launching it. This made it possible for the slab to be propelled, spun, or flipped. It was probably their most powerful weapon. The next weapon Sarah noticed was a long, flat rod. It had several glass bulbs attached on one side of it. They simply shot lasers from them simultaneously. This rod would usually be held by two or three people. A strange weapon was what looked like what she would call an arrow. They were very similar, except these arrows were far longer, and slightly thinner. They also appeared to be made of crystal. On one end a metal blade was attached. On the other, three small fans were attached to propel the arrow. The world’s most advanced technology was a strange type of air transportation. All across the sky, “psionic” satellites floated, and platforms hovered. These platforms were simple squares with lit arrows on each side. Lasers projected from these sides, producing a grid of bright gold in the now purple sky. There were different stations among the ground that would transport you to the above “airgrid,” and it cost money to use this. The airgrid then let people be converted into sound waves, and transported across these golden light beams. It was a hard concept to grasp for Sarah, not easily explainable. This world’s currency was of simple gold chips of all different shapes and sizes. They were worth more if they were larger. People used these for all sorts of exchanges. Stores were almost exactly the same in this world, except no prices were displayed. Simple haggling and negotiating was used to make a purchase. Some people walking the streets had different colored gems fixated in their chests. Sarah later learned that this represented if they were a part of a noble family tree. Fraud of these gems was punishable by satellite blast. This was what the people Sarah had seen earlier were killed for. It seemed that all the flames Sarah had seen were green. This wasn’t too strange, as green fire existed in her world as well in some cases. Water was the exact same. It was drunk commonly in bottles as well. The only difference is that water was the only thing drank in this world. When Sarah reached a different edge of the city, she was quite frightened at this strange sight. Metal brackets were attached to the ground in a straight line as far as Sarah could see. A strange machine that looked like a small helicopter zoomed over this bracket constantly, orbiting the earth, and cutting through the ground below the metal. She hypothesized that there was only one plate boundary on their Earth that split the planet into two equal sides. This flying machine was to constantly break rocks, so violent earthquakes wouldn’t occur. Another thing Sarah noticed was flying cameras. Camera-like devices flew low throughout the city, and would stop to look at someone or something occasionally. One had observed her. She also noticed that these cameras were equipped with painters to alert a satellite to shoot. Sarah was lucky that she wasn’t noticed, and knew she had to leave soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Lovegood Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Very good. I like it a lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Canoe Posted February 9, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Uh, thanks. ^^ Also, I'll give more background information on the Lattice Theory in later chapters. The Prologue just gives the first few events in the story, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Legend Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Very interesing ^^ (Complicated) but really good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Nice.. I like it. Much longer than Vibe, and takes a bit to read, but oh well. It's cool. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Canoe Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Very interesing ^^ (Complicated) but really good! Thanks. Nice.. I like it. Much longer than Vibe' date=' and takes a bit to read, but oh well. It's cool. :D[/quote'] Sorry bout stopping Vibe... Yeah, this one is a bit longer. I had fun making a "professional" fic for once. ;3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Professional eh? Well, let's see how this one turns out.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smear Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 F*ck the 'PG-16'I'm 12. xD I love this ifc, So.. AWESUM!For serious. Its just..I dunno. D:I could like, hug it or something.Can't wait for Chapter 1. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Canoe Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Professional eh? Well' date=' let's see how this one turns out..[/quote'] Lol, we'll see... F*ck the 'PG-16'I'm 12. xD I love this ifc' date=' So.. AWESUM!For serious. Its just..I dunno. D:I could like, hug it or something.Can't wait for Chapter 1. :3[/quote'] D: D: D: Wuv you. :3 Actually the PG-16 is for when the gore comes in. D: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 I presume it's horror? I any case, I like what you have going here. I only skimmed it, so the only thing I can really tell you to improve on would be one thing... In the center of the sphere' date=' what looked like a window to another place existed. It looked like a tear in fabric, like threads had broken and unraveled. The world looked similar to Sarah’s own. As she observed this in awe, a sudden shock brought her back into reality. [b']A naked man popped up at the window. He had twisted fangs, and his face was wounded. He looked like what she would call a zombie. Loudly, he growled at her through the glass, and she screamed.[/b] Quicky, Sarah turned around and bolted back to Millenium Valley High School. No suspense whatsoever. You really want to try to create more suspense or fear. Simple describing everything doesn't work for horror. Still, I like where this is going and it happens to have a lot of potential. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Canoe Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 I presume it's horror? I any case' date=' I like what you have going here. I only skimmed it, so the only thing I can really tell you to improve on would be one thing... In the center of the sphere, what looked like a window to another place existed. It looked like a tear in fabric, like threads had broken and unraveled. The world looked similar to Sarah’s own. As she observed this in awe, a sudden shock brought her back into reality. A naked man popped up at the window. He had twisted fangs, and his face was wounded. He looked like what she would call a zombie. Loudly, he growled at her through the glass, and she screamed. Quicky, Sarah turned around and bolted back to Millenium Valley High School. No suspense whatsoever. You really want to try to create more suspense or fear. Simple describing everything doesn't work for horror. Still, I like where this is going and it happens to have a lot of potential. Thanks lol, but it isn't horror... It's mostly sci fi. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smear Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 Professional eh? Well' date=' let's see how this one turns out..[/quote'] Lol, we'll see... F*ck the 'PG-16'I'm 12. xD I love this ifc' date=' So.. AWESUM!For serious. Its just..I dunno. D:I could like, hug it or something.Can't wait for Chapter 1. :3[/quote'] D: D: D: Wuv you. :3 Actually the PG-16 is for when the gore comes in. D: I don't really care. xD Gore E> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Canoe Posted February 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 Chapter 1 posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted February 14, 2010 Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 Ooh.. I liek it, only I'm a bit scared right now :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Canoe Posted February 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 Thanks... That's not supposed to be scary really... lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted February 14, 2010 Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 Lulz. Well, not really scared, but I dunno how else to put it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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