ShinyBlade Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 [align=center]Please gave me some feed back on this project I'm doing this is for the upcoming Plays Festival[spoiler=[size=x-large]Power of Friendship[/size]]Cast:Eric: Protagonist of the story, he has a friendly personality doesn't talk muchZane: Eric's Friend, A smart and friendly person who often help out otherNatalie: Eric's sister, a mischievous and nosy girl Sam: Zane and Eric's enemy, a bully at school Scene 1(Scene start at recess, Zane and Eric appear on stage playing catch as they walk home together)Zane(Walking, while throwing a ball at Eric) Hey Eric, what are you working on? You know the project that we were supposed to doEric(Catch the flying ball, and asked)That a good question, I don't know yet. Zane, do you have any idea? What about your?Zane(Trying to sound impressive while tabbing Eric back) Well, it kind of a secret but if you like to have a sneak peak I meant just a little bit of it, come to my house afterschool and I will show you a little of it.EricSure, why not, I'll come over and see what's upZane(Sounded more cheerful as the too walk to the tree)Alright after school then(Then a girl appear from left stage, walks tour them, pushing everyone aside,)Sam(Pushing everyone out of her way as she approach to Zane and Eric)Move it punk! Say Zane what are you doing? Oh hi Eric.Zane(Look at Sam as he keeps on walking pretend not to notice)Nothing! Sam. can you leave us along we were trying to do something(Acting cool)You guy can't fool me you know; I heard you and Eric talk about a project of some kind, now tell me what is it?Zane(Trying to ignore her)It nothing! Get lost before something happen and make you regret this.Eric(Confidently backed Zane up)Yeah! Get lost Sam, this isn't your business anyway! Also there nothing important that you should worried about.Sam (Angrily say and acting like she doesn’t care then walk start to left the scene)Alright, I don't care anyway, but put in mind that I will see that thing you are talking about no matter what.(Then she march away.)ZaneThat girl obviously got some problem, anyway Eric so it after school them?EricYeah, sure(Zane then ran off to play with his friend leaving the stage, Eric than mumble to himself.)What is her problem, anyway, I'm glad that Zane are showing me the project. Now I just have to think up of a way to get it then I got that A for sure.End of Scene Scene 2(Scene start Zane's room, that afternoon, Zane was showing Eric his drawing and then he heard a noise coming from down stair so he went to check it out; when he gets back, his drawing was gone, but he did not notice at first.)Eric(Asking Zane while crumbling up a piece of paper and throw it away)What wrong? Is there a robbery?ZaneNah! It just my little brother dropping his books nothing to worry about. (Then Zane notice his drawing was missing from his desk, he ask Eric anxiously.)Alright, now if I can only find the drawing(Search his desk for a while and notice the drawing is not there)Nice joke, where is it Eric?Eric(Trying to make up an excuse while sticking a piece of paper to his backpack)Where is what Zane?Zane (furiously asked while trying to start a fight.) Where is it? I am not joking, I work super hard for that, Eric, gave it back or elseEric(Trying to act innocent and trying to get block Zane's punch)Don't you suspect ...argg... me like that I... I didn't do it at all! Stop let me go or else.(Eric then launches a hit at Zane but Zane blocks it) Zane If you didn't take it then where is it? It couldn't just disappear like that into thin air. Come on you have to do something with it, please gave it back it my pride, I work hard for that.Eric(Trying to come up with an excuse finally getting himself free)Maybe it did disappear into thin air ...erg... I'm not responsible for it, I didn't take it maybe you carry with you and drop it somewhere.Zane(Start to scream and more furious than last time)I could have swore I gave it to you, now where is it?Eric(Scream back at Zane)I already told you, I don't know and don't suspect me of taking anything, if you do, I'm.... I'm going home.(Eric walks out Slam the door behind him)End of scene Scene 3(Scene start at Eric's room, after he dash home from Zane's house, Eric was sitting as his desk catching his breath, he took out Zane's drawing and start to recopy)Eric(Evilly laugh and say to himself)hahaha! Finally, I can have a good grade finally make my parent proud; well I have to thank Zane for this opportunity...hahaha(Then a knock on the door and a girl came in, it was Eric sister, Natalie, Eric quickly turns around)Eric(Trying to hide Zane drawing and lie)Hi Natalie, and there two things I'm going to asked you.Natalie(Walk on the stage and into Eric room)Sure, what Eric?EricWhy are you here first of all, and did you see anything while you came in?Natalie(Looking around the room, then pretend not to notice the drawing)Noting, just trying to ask you something.Eric(Wave at Natalie trying to get her to leave)Go away!Natalie(Anxiously asking question in a nice way as she touch the drawing about to pick it up) What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to work on your project? And what's this?Eric(Sounding more angry than before)It none of your business! And this, this is just a drawing on some random stuffNatalie(Pick up the drawing)You're not a good liar, maybe I should teach you how to lie better, this clearly says...(Before she can finish Eric interrupt)Eric(Screaming and try to get Natalie out)It noting, now get out! You annoying sister, gave me back that drawing(Eric reaches for the drawing and pull back)Natalie(Trying to pull back her way)No! I'm going to show my entire friend!Eric (Still pulling on the drawing screaming)Let go, Natalie! Let go before you...(Rippppp!!!!!!! the drawing store apart, Eric hold one part and Natalie hold another)Natalie(Tossing the other ripping half at Eric)I don't want to see anymore, beside it ripped! sheeh!Eric(Looking shock, screaming at Natalie)Maybe if you didn't full on it, it wouldn't rip Gosh, Now get out so I can work.Natalie(Tear start to come down of her eye)You're mean Eric, MOMMY!!!(Then she walk out stomping her feet)Eric(Slam the door after Natalie has went out completely, saying to himself.)What am I suppose to give back to Zane? I just want to have a peak on his project and recopy it; I didn't know things are going to turns out this way. End of Scene Scene 4 (Scene start at school the following day during recess. Eric were getting ready for class while he take the ripped drawing from his back hide it somewhere and found Zane walking down the hall)Eric(Catching up to Zane, tab his back and cheering him up)What's up Zane, are you feeling well today?Zane(Look at Eric and walk away saying nothing in particular)Eric(Ran after Zane)Dude, speak to me!Zane(Sounding sad and trying to push Eric away)Leave me along Eric. I don't have a friend who is a thief and a liar.Eric(Acting innocent)Are you still mad about yesterday, Well you see... (Sam then appear on left stage walking tour Eric and Zane)Sam(Acting Bossy as usual)What so down Zane, did Eric do something to you?EricNothing Sam, Zane is just under the weather(Zane then walk away and disappear on right stage but the two still didn't notice.)Sam(Noticing the ripped drawing inside one of Eric book, and tart to took it)Give me that, little EricEric(Try pulling the drawing back but he trip and felt)Give it back it nothing to see Sam, mind your business!Sam(Studying the drawing while preventing Eric from taking it back)This look like a plan of something, I'm going to keep it!Eric(Try to get it back but Sam pushes him out of the way)Give it back moron. This is not your businessSam(Holding out the drawing for Eric to take it but then pull it back)Well here. Site, maybe if you tell me what is it then I'll give it back come on what is it? EricIt nothing, just gives it back, I'm not playing.Sam(Doing the same thing over and over put it out and then pulls it back)Here little Eric. Site again, you can at least beg for me to give it back(Sam then kicks Eric leg making him kneels down)Eric(Try to get up)Urgg... You jabroni, give it back now, I'm not joking.Sam(Start to walk away)So I see, you not going to do as I say so I'm not going to do as you said either, latter.(She then walk off and disappear on right stage)Eric(Searching his folder for the second half of the drawing)At least I still have a second half to the drawing, but still if Zane find out, He'll be super mad at me, what should I do? Life is so hard.End of Scene Scene 5(Scene starts in the classroom after the first period before lunch, Zane was sitting on his desk while Eric walks toward him and try to talk to him.)Eric(Trying to cheer Zane up)Hey Zane, is there something wrong?Zane(Look at Eric then turn around gathering his paper)Leave me alone, EricEric(Reach for his folder and took out the ripped half of Zane's drawing)Um... Zane... I need to tell you somethingZane(Look at Eric again and noticing the ripped paper in his hand)What? That better not be what I think it isEric (Start to feel sad and handing Zane the ripped drawing)Well you see, Natalie, my sister, she broke into my room while I was examining your drawing and she got curious and try to take the drawing.(Zane interrupted)Zane(Take the drawing look at it and said)So why did you take it in the first place? I meant I let you see the project, so just look at it and go home.Eric (Start telling Zane the rest of the story)I took it because I wanted an A on this project Zane, I do it so my parent wouldn't punish me for not working hard lately.Zane(Looking angry, stand up and then said)You should have pay closer attention to your school work; gosh stop playing videogames once in a while. Also tell me if this was ripped where my second half?EricWell you see, I bump into Sam this morning and she notice the drawing, and then she....(Trying not to say but holding out a note of some kind from his pocket)Zane(Screaming)She what? Eric you got to be clearer than this(Start to snatch the note in Eric's hand and read it)She what!!? Why didn't you tell me this sooner?EricYou don't want to talk to me so yeah. Zane(Laugh and path Eric back)Oh well, next time, please be honest with yourself and to your best friend also do your work gosh that why it there. Anyway, this project that you stole the drawing from me, I'll going to help you with it, we can come up with a new idea together, this doesn't mean that I'll do all the work for you and get the grade got it?EricThank you Zane, I'll promise I won't do that again, but if I have any confusion I can ask you.Zane(Crumble up the ripped drawing and throw it in the thrash and start to pick up his book readying to leave)Come on let go to lunch, I'm starving(The two ran out the classroom and disappear on left stage, Sam then appear on right stage walking tour the thrash can)Sam(Talking to herself as she dig in the thrash for the project)Seem like my eavesdropping skills does come in handy sometime now I just saw that Zane dude throw out the second half to this project of his.(She picks up the ball of paper)Ah, here it is, heheh I getting the A without doing any work.End of Scene Scene 6(Scene start at school, about a week later, the day of the science fair, Zane and Eric was setting up their project)Zane(Setting up his project while talking to Eric)So are you glad that we work on this together?Eric(Helping Zane setting up)Yeah, I'm glad this happen(Finishing up their setting up)ZaneSo wanna go and look at the other project?EricSure! Let go(The two went off to look at the other project, and then they came up to Sam)Zane(Talking to Eric while observing Sam's project)Does this look familiar to you Eric?Eric(Look at the project)Yeah it looks like the one you drew upSam(Angrily say as she trying to be innocent)No this is my creation, get lostZaneOh yeah prove it show how that thing work.Sam(Try turning on the project)There see...(The project start with a weir noise follows by a small explosion)This isn't suppose to happen, you trick me Zane!!! This is because of your stupid drawing, look at what it does.(About to ran off the stage)Zane(Laugh while talk to Eric)(Say Eric did you happen you read that line I wrote in my drawing? Eric(Try remembering)Oh yeah! It said that this is just a joke don't try to create this.Sam(Angrily yelled then ran off and disappear to left stage)OMG!!! Curse you all, Zane and Eric(Laugh as they yell after Sam in unison)HAHA... that should teach you on never eavesdrop and bully other.THE END!!! [/align] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dissonance Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Gah, format this better, I can't tell lines from action from characters. Also, anything titled "Power of Friendship" sounds stupidly trite and stupid. No, that's not redundant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larxene Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 I stopped at "Friendship". It's lame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShinyBlade Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 alrightI can't think of a good title Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 I stopped at "Friendship". It's lame. But we're all in this together!And it shows when we know!Believe in the heart... of the cards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larxene Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 I stopped at "Friendship". It's lame. But we're all in this together!And it shows when we know!Believe in the heart... of the cards! ...Damn it I laughed. I'm gonna go bleach my brain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShinyBlade Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 lolz yes deep Bleach it real good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTF Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 There's got to be more to it then friendship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShinyBlade Posted February 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 like what? can you please tell me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eury Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 If you want to know how to write a good play, read some Henrik Ibsen. Excellent playwright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShinyBlade Posted February 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 alright thank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juuzou Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 I bite my thumb at thee for thy distasteful playwriting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UltimateDarkness Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 that lowed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frlf Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 I bite my thumb at thee for thy distasteful playwriting. Romeo and Juliet reference? Oh yeah. tl;dr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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