My first card

[shadowdragon2667]

This is the first card i've created with the card maker, and i'm not sure it's a bright idea to put it into the realistic category without some other's opinions first. feel free to be brutally honest with my, i take criticism very well.

 

[A.Prime]

you have some minor OCG errors (Official Card Grammar)

the card is a little overpowered.

I like it 7.5/10

[shadowdragon2667]

i'm not familiar with all the ocg rules, and like i said it's my first card so i'm going to try and edit it till it seems realistic

[A.Prime]

i'm not familiar with all the ocg rules' date=' and like i said it's my first card so i'm going to try and edit it till it seems realistic

[/quote']

 

hey bro..relax!!

I know that is your 1st card...

it is a cool card!!

cooler than those I made for my 1sts cards!!

---

take your 1st rep from me

[shadowdragon2667]

sorry if that post seemed like i was mad. i'm not i was just saying that i don't know all the ocg rules. and i think it's great that you like it, i just wanted to try and make a realistic card that i could call my own.

[~Marluxia~]

I find it a little OP'd, but nice 8/10

[Kato_Zenamara]

I LOVE this card as a first card. Its clear that you're a newb (NOT n00b. Theres a difference), and this is a spectacular card for your first, and you're taking criticism and whatnot very well for it.

Now, onto a few suggestions.

 

You can chill a little with the OCG horror. Its a learned talent: no ones natural at it. Read some topics with people yelling at other people. Its a great way to get some knowledge in.

 

As for the effect, it IS a little OP'ed. Being destroyed by battle is kinda strong, but then again, the only way you'd normally kill a card with 3000 ATK is with traps and whatnot. I mean, no one really kills those anymore...

 

The destroying all spells and traps effect. This is what makes it OP'ed. I'd add an effect that says you take 200 damage for each card destroyed by this effect (since its optional).

 

As for the paying 2000 life points effect, I can't decide if its OP'ed or not. It costs 2000 life points, but you could make a loop out of it: Special Summoning it again once its destroyed. Again, it has a cost though.

 

All-in-all, I'd give it an 8.99/10

 

A word of advice: Post the card lore below the card itself. Especially when you have such a long lore. Its hard to squint and read that tiny text.

[PeterClarke]

Lovely card balanced

9.87/10

[daxtery]

I like your card, is good for a new member

 

9/10

[Gorm13]

Aside from being more than just slightly overpowered and the OCG errors, this card is really great for a newbie.

 

It's overpowered mostly because of its trap and spell destroying effect, I think. It's like "Harpie's Feather Duster" in monster form (albeit not that easy to play). You can even reuse its effect with cards like "Call of the Haunted".

[Diaboli Mors]

9/10 Sure beats the heck outta my first cards its overpowered and like many of u said there are ocg errors...if you post the lore (the effect) then i can help you fix the ocg to the best of my ability.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

What...you...a...newby?

 

Through it's amazingly overpowered (Infernity plus Heavy Storm?) so I would have given 8/10, but this as a first card is 80/10. Look at my first card.

 

[spoiler=My first card that you've easily beaten]

 

 

[Yuni Katt]

7/10

[shadowdragon2667]

ok, this is the edited version of my card. still has ocg errors but i haven't found any threads with specific rules on it.

 

here's the lore: This card cannot be destroyed by battle. When this card is normal summoned or special summoned successfully you can destroy 1 spell and trap on your opponents side of the field. You must send one card from your hand to the graveyard during your end phase, if you do not this card is destroyed. You can special summon this card from the graveyard by paying 2000 life points. When this card is special summoned this way remove it from play during your next end phase.

[A.Prime]

This card cannot be destroyed by battle. When this card is successfully Summoned you can destroy 1 Spell or Trap Card on your opponent's side of the field. You must discard 1 card from your hand to the Graveyard during your End Phase. If you do not this card is destroyed. You can Special Summon this card from the Graveyard by paying 2000 of your Life Points. When this card is Special Summoned by this effect remove it from play during your next End Phase.

 

and your rate is 8.5/10

[Nitro Death]

sorry if that post seemed like i was mad. i'm not i was just saying that i don't know all the ocg rules. and i think it's great that you like it' date=' i just wanted to try and make a realistic card that i could call my own.

[/quote']

 

Hey Bro, it's O.K. it's your first card, but if your having a little trouble on a cards effect, like a Fusion or something, it's ok to look at one and copy down the basic effect.