A Legendary Adventure (awesome pokemon fan fic)(PG-13?)CHAPTER 2 is up!!!

[legendaria]

Hi everyone this is the Legendary Adventure which is about a young boy called Zach Tristen travels the pokemon world like in the games.This first edition is about his start in Kanto.

 

Version 1: Kanto!

 

[spoiler=Sprites of the trainers he meets(more as we advance in the story)]

1.Zach himself(sorry its lousy):

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 1. The Adventure Begins]

Zach Tristen woke up on his warm bed and glared puffy-eyed at his hoothoot alarm clock and felt a surge of energy flow through him, He was going to be late for Prof. Oak's presentation and his handing out of pokemon!In a great hurry he lugged on a few clothes and grabbed a slice of toast as he stormed through the kitchen,

"bye mom!"he shouted as he rushed out the door,

"bye honey" his mother replied unknown to the fact that he was already gone. As he ran to Oak's lab he looked at his watch, half past eleven, he still had time.

 

Luckily he was on time and arrived at 12 but he remembered that his watch had been set for the time zone in Hoenn where he had went on holiday last year with his parents so he was actually two hours late and the presentation had already finished. So he sadly pushed open the doors on the lab praying that someone had left a pokemon behind,

"Hello im sorry im late but im here for a pokemon!" he shouted in the roomy lab and heard someone shout back,

"You're very late, but come round the back because I think I may have something for you!"

 

Zach ran to the back full of excitment knowing he still had a chance, when he arrived he saw Prof. Oak in all his glory and he noticed he was pointing at a pokeball on a drawer that looked new and shiny.He picked this up and suddenly a blinding flash of light was released from the pokeball and there in front of him was his new pokemon, a small beldum.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 2. Zach's Departure]Zach remembered Beldum from his holiday in Hoenn and and he remembered it evolved into an amazingly strong pokemon.After Zach had spent some time with his Beldum (now nicknamed Shardy) Prof. Oak invited him to his office and handed Zach a small card and Zach instantly recognised it as his new pokemon license with all the deatails on it.It said:

 

[align=center]This person has been given legal permission to own pokemon and travel with them as allies.

Owner First Name:Zach

Owner Last Name:Tristen

Starter Pokemon:Beldum

Nickname:Shardy

Starter Level:5

Move(s):Headbutt[/align]

 

Zach then later returned home packing everything he would need to stay safe on his journey with help from his mother.Then he set off for Vermilion city where his adventure would begin.

 

[Quiksilver]

...this needs work. You need to add a plotline beyond traveling, and increase the length of the chapters. You also need to slow down and write more about the land and be more descriptive. Gotta work harder, dude.