H4Hx1 Posted April 20, 2010 Report Share Posted April 20, 2010 This will my first set Shards of Alara created from Magic the Gathering. Rate and correct it please... [spoiler=First Part][spoiler=Akrasan Squire]The first monster you control to attack gains 500 ATK during the Damage Step only. [spoiler=Angel's Herald]By tributing 1 EARTH monster, 1 LIGHT monster and 1 WATER monster, Special Summon 1 "Empyrial Archangel" from your Deck. [spoiler=Angelic Benediction]The first monster you control to attack gains 500 ATK during the Damage Step only. If this monster attacks a Defense Position monster, change that monster to face-up Attack Position at the end of the Damage Step. [spoiler=Angelsong]Monsters cannot be destroyed by battle this turn, and any Battle Damage is reduced to 0. During your End Phase, you can send this card from your hand to the graveyard to draw 1 card. [spoiler=Bant Battlemage]As long as this card remains face-up on the field, all WATER monsters gain 500 ATK. During battle between an EARTH attacking monster and a Defense Position monster whose DEF is lower than the ATK of the attacking monster, inflict the difference as Battle Damage to the defending player. [spoiler=Battlegrace Angel]The first monster you control to attack gains 500 ATK during the Damage Step only. When that monster inflicts Battle Damage to your opponent this turn, gain Life Points equal to the Damage inflicted. [spoiler=Cradle of Vitality]When a monster is destroyed by battle and sent to the Graveyard, its owner gains Life Points equal to the ATK of the destroyed monster. [spoiler=Dispeller's Capsule]Activate only if you control 1 LIGHT Machine-Type monster. Destroy 1 Spell or Trap Card on the field. [spoiler=Ethersworn Canonist]As long as this card remains face up on the field, players cannot Special Summon non Machine-Type monsters. [spoiler=Excommunicate]If you activate this card, you cannot Normal Summon this turn. Return 1 monster on the field to the top of its owner's Deck. [spoiler=Guardians of Akrasa]The first monster you control to attack gains 500 ATK during the Damage Step only. [spoiler=Gustrider Exuberant]By Tributing this card, the attribute of all face-up monsters with an ATK equal to 2500 or more on the field becomes WIND until the End Phase. [spoiler=Invincible Hymn]Your Life Points become the number of cards in your Deck x100. [spoiler=Knight of the Skyward Eye]Once per turn, you can Tribute 1 EARTH monster to have this card gain 1000 ATK. [spoiler=Knight of the White Orchid]This card cannot be destroyed by battle with a monster that has the same ATK. As long as your opponent has at least 1 more monster on the field than you do, this card can be treated as 2 Tributes for the Tribute Summon of a LIGHT monster. [spoiler=Knight-Captain of Eos]When this card is Summoned, you can Special Summon 2 "Guard Token" (Warrior-Type/LIGHT/Level 1/ATK 200/DEF 800). You can Tribute 1 LIGHT Warrior-Type monster to reduce any Battle Damage taken this turn to 0. [spoiler=Marble Chalice]During your Standby Phase, gain 500 Life Points [spoiler=Metallurgeon]Once per turn, as long as this card remains face-up on the field, when a Machine-Type monster is sent from the field to your Graveyard, you can return it to your hand. [spoiler=Oblivion Ring]Remove 1 face-up monster your opponent controls from play. If this face-up card is removed from the field, your opponent can Special Summon 1 of his removed from play monsters. [spoiler=Ranger of Eos]When this card is Summoned, you can add 1 Level 1 monster from your Deck to your hand. [spoiler=Resounding Silence]Activate only when your opponent declares an attack. Remove from play the attacking monster. When your opponent declares an attack, if you control 1 LIGHT monster, 1 EARTH monster and 1 WATER monster you can send this card from your hand to the Graveyard to draw 1 card and remove from play all face-up Attack Position monsters your opponent controls. [spoiler=Rockcaster Platoon]You can Tribute 1 EARTH monster to destroy all face-up WIND monsters with a DEF equal to 1500 or less and make both players lose 1000 Life Points. [spoiler=Sanctum Gargoyle]When this card is Summoned, you can return 1 Machine-Type monster from your Graveyard to your hand. [spoiler=Scourglass]Activate only if you control 2 face-up LIGHT monsters. Destroy all non Machine-Type monsters on the field. [spoiler=Sighted-Caste Sorcerer]The first monster you control to attack gains 500 ATK during the Damage Step only. As long as you control 1 WATER monster, negate the effect of your opponent's Spells, Traps and Effect Monsters' effects that target this card, and destroy them. [spoiler=Sigiled Paladin]The first monster you control to attack gains 500 ATK during the Damage Step only. This card cannot be destroyed by battle with a monster that has the same ATK. [spoiler=Soul's Grace]Activate only if your opponent has more Life Points than you. Gain Life Points equal to the ATK of a Beast-Type monster on the field. [spoiler=Sunseed Nurturer]During your End Phase, if you control a monster with an ATK equal to 2500 or more, gain 1000 Life Points. This card can be treated as 2 Tributes for the Tribute Summon of a monster with an ATK equal to 2500 or more. [spoiler=Welkin Guide]When this card is Summoned, you can select one face-up Attack Position monster you control. This monster gains 1000 ATK and his attribute becomes WIND until the End Phase. [spoiler=Yoked Plowbeast]During your End Phase, you can send this card from your hand to the graveyard to draw 1 card. [spoiler=Second Part][spoiler=Call to Heel]Return 1 monster from the field to the owner's hand. He draws 1 card. [spoiler=Cancel]If you activate this card during your opponent's turn, you cannot Normal Summon during your next turn. Negate the activation of a Spell Card/Trap Card/Normal Summon/Flip Summon and destroy the Spell Card, Trap Card or Summoned monster. [spoiler=Cathartic Adept]During your Standby Phase, send the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. [spoiler=Cloudheath Drake]Once per turn, as long as you control 1 face-up LIGHT monster, you can flip this card into face-down Defense Position. [spoiler=Coma Veil]The equipped monster is changed to face-up Defense Position and cannot change its Battle Position. [spoiler=Courier's Capsule]Activate only if you control 2 WATER Machine-Type monster. Draw 2 cards. [spoiler=Covenant of Minds]Reveal the top card of your Deck. Your opponent chooses one of the following effects :* Add this card to your hand.* Put this card into your graveyard and draw 2 cards. [spoiler=Dawnray Archer]The first monster you control to attack gains 500 ATK during the Damage Step only. As long as you control 1 LIGHT monster, all monsters attacking this card lose 500 ATK. [spoiler=Esper Battlemage]As long as this card remains face-up on the field, all non-DARK monsters lose 500 ATK. As long as you control 1 LIGHT monster, during your Standby Phase, gain 1000 Life Points. [spoiler=Etherium Astrolabe]Once per turn, you can Tribute 1 DARK Machine-Type monster to draw 1 card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSStylin' Posted April 20, 2010 Report Share Posted April 20, 2010 Your OCG is understandable, but not quite optimal for YGO. It's unnecessary to say "If an attacking monster you control is the first to attack this turn" because in YGO, you can only attack during your turn. That line would probably be OCG-worded as: "The first monster you control to attack". "it gains 500 ATK" would be OCG-worded as: "increases its ATK by 500"*future reference: "gain" replaced "increase" (again) Also, since this monster doesn't have a "real-Type", this thread is probably going to be moved as soon as a moderator lays eyes upon it. If you're going to change its Type, I would suggest making it a Warrior-Type. The monster's Level is too low for a monster with 1300 ATK / 1100 DEF. With stats like that, it would probably be a Lv3 or 4 (most likely a 4 given its effect). Since I'm running out of time at the moment, I can't properly evaluate your card (which I must do according to forum rules, 'lest this be considered as "spam"). The card, overall, seems decent for a low level monster (in my opinion), though I bet there will be people saying it's lame or boring. I hope that helped, and good luck with your card-creating! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Oleon~ Posted April 20, 2010 Report Share Posted April 20, 2010 Your OCG is understandable' date=' but not quite optimal for YGO. It's unnecessary to say [i']"If an attacking monster you control is the first to attack this turn"[/i] because in YGO, you can only attack during your turn. That line would probably be OCG-worded as: "The first monster you control to attack". "it gains 500 ATK" would be OCG-worded as: "increases its ATK by 500"*future reference: "gain" is no longer used in YGO, it has been replaced with "increase" Also, since this monster doesn't have a "real-Type", this thread is probably going to be moved as soon as a moderator lays eyes upon it. If you're going to change its Type, I would suggest making it a Warrior-Type. The monster's Level is too low for a monster with 1300 ATK / 1100 DEF. With stats like that, it would probably be a Lv3 or 4 (most likely a 4 given its effect). Since I'm running out of time at the moment, I can't properly evaluate your card (which I must do according to forum rules, 'lest this be considered as "spam"). The card, overall, seems decent for a low level monster (in my opinion), though I bet there will be people saying it's lame or boring. I hope that helped, and good luck with your card-creating! You seem to know what you're doing. ^^Let me say that it's not 'Soldier', it's 'Warrior'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Flame Posted April 20, 2010 Report Share Posted April 20, 2010 I <3 MTG too. (well, I haven't played all that much and I'm not even sure if any card in my deck is up to date xD)OCg errors already pointed out. Fake type pointed out. Level issue pointed out. Not much else left to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TableCloth358 Posted April 20, 2010 Report Share Posted April 20, 2010 are you just doing a 'Bant' set or are you just doing all the cards. Or are you doing the Bant, Grixis, Naya, Jund, and Esper all in sets? OCG has been pointed out 7/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TableCloth358 Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 Instead of posting your other cards as a Reply go to your original post and at the bottom of the box there is a thing that says 'Edit' Click it and click 'Full Edit' to update your post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazin Kay Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 Actually, "it gains 500 ATK" is accurate OCG, Olean. Your intent and understanding are good, but even yours can be improved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H4Hx1 Posted April 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 New cards added. Thanks for your comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H4Hx1 Posted April 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 Set updated, first part finished...Comment please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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