YCM Guidance Counsel

[Krillin!]

Do you have a problem (don't deny it!)? Well listen. If you need advice or you and another ycm member are arguing, come here. Both sides tell their story and I try to help, or I will give the best advice I can.

[Lyfe.]

Yesterday was a shitty day. I woke up and fell out of bed. I was brushing my teeth and discovered a cavity. My ride ditched me, so I had to walk to school. I got picked on for being fat and called a baka because I tripped over a chair in my class and landed on the bump near my desk, which gave me a black eye and a bloody nose. I went to the nurse, whom got sick and left early. I called my mom and she didn't answer. After school, I walked to my girlfriend's house and had sex with her. I know have aids. I went home and saw my mom dead on the floor and the man who killed her standing by the window. The cops came and said "Tough" then walked away. I am now homeless and suicidal.

 

Can you help me out?

[JadenxAtemYAOI]

it would be better if between two members if staff solved it :/

As for IRL, any ways I can concentrate on not eating the maple twists donuts? I love them. It's just when my bf buys 20 like the usual they're gone in about 25 minutes and it always ends in a stomach ache ):

[Twig]

FACT: You can change the title of this thread to "Troll Here" and you would get the same posts.

[JadenxAtemYAOI]

Yesterday was a shitty day. I woke up and fell out of bed. I was brushing my teeth and discovered a cavity. My ride ditched me' date=' so I had to walk to school. I got picked on for being fat and called a fa**** because I tripped over a chair in my class and landed on the bump near my desk, which gave me a black eye and a bloody nose. I went to the nurse, whom got sick and left early. I called my mom and she didn't answer. After school, I walked to my girlfriend's house and had sex with her. I know have aids. I went home and saw my mom dead on the floor and the man who killed her standing by the window. The cops came and said "Tough" then walked away. I am now homeless and suicidal.

 

Can you help me out?

[/quote']

is it wrong that I laughed?

[Clair]

Today was a pretty crappy day. Firstly, I slept through all three of my alarms and was late for school, which sucked because then my teacher yelled at me for three straight minutes and I went deaf for an hour. I fell asleep in math class and fell out of my desk, twisting my leg. Not only that, but I ate the school lunch and now I have ulcers, I think. When I stumbled back to class, a man suddenly burst in through the window and held us all at gunpoint, taking my leftover lunch money and leaving me traumatized forever. I groaned as I realized I would have to walk home from school that day, and I started my death-defying trip back early, the pain radiating through my stomach, until I finally fell next to my computer, where I found this godly thread.

 

So I'm an oversleeping, tardy, easily traumatized child with several stomach ulcers and a twisted up leg. Who likes to play hooky.

 

Can you help me, YCM Counsel?

[Krillin!]

@Twig

You got a problem? If so stay, if not leave.

@Metallica Is this some kind of joke

@Jaden Try to restrain your (or your bfs I cant tell whos) Habits a bit.

[♥ ЅϯᵲåώӀӞ℮ᴙʀɣ−ɴɨɨ−ƈħåɴ ♥]

My second mind is narcissist while my normal mind isn't.

 

Why are you here?

[Krillin!]

@♥ ЅϯᵲåώӀӞ℮ᴙʀɣ−ɴɨɨ−ƈħåɴ ♥

I'm here to help.

@Clair

Whether this is a joke or not (and I really want to help people not have people make up fake problems and waste my time) you need to have better days

[Twig]

@Twig

You got a problem? If so stay' date=' if not leave.

 

[b']Yes, I have a problem. I was in the internet when I saw this discussion about problems. They were so horrible, I couldn't stand it! I had no idea how much bad luck people had until now![/b]

 

@Metallica Is this some kind of joke

 

Of course it isn't! How could you say that to this poor man!?

 

@Jaden Try to restrain your (or your bfs I cant tell whos) Habits a bit.

OMG, I told the same advice. I told this friend of mine who's fat that if he eats less and exercises, then he won't be fat! Guess what? He's fat! Isn't that great?

[Lyfe.]

Yesterday was a shitty day. I woke up and fell out of bed. I was brushing my teeth and discovered a cavity. My ride ditched me' date=' so I had to walk to school. I got picked on for being fat and called a fa**** because I tripped over a chair in my class and landed on the bump near my desk, which gave me a black eye and a bloody nose. I went to the nurse, whom got sick and left early. I called my mom and she didn't answer. After school, I walked to my girlfriend's house and had sex with her. I know have aids. I went home and saw my mom dead on the floor and the man who killed her standing by the window. The cops came and said "Tough" then walked away. I am now homeless and suicidal.

 

Can you help me out?

[/quote']

is it wrong that I laughed?

 

Nope. It's called trolling.

 

Inuyasha: Yes it is a joke. You made a thread begging to be trolled in. Whatever did you expect?

Clair: This is my thread. Go away :(

[Clair]

@Clair

you need to have better days

 

Thanks for fixing my problems, YCM Counsel. ^^

[JadenxAtemYAOI]

@Twig

You got a problem? If so stay' date=' if not leave.

@Metallica Is this some kind of joke

@Jaden Try to restrain your (or your bfs I cant tell whos) Habits a bit.

[/quote']

 

Actually look through my past posts in this section. I looooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Maple donuts

[~ P O L A R I S ~]

While no statement I'm about to make should be construed as suggesting or recommending that any person commit an illegal act of any kind, you should realize that Yankeefan's polity is reminiscent of the French Jacobin Club and its morbid obsession with power, death, and tribalism. With this letter, I hope to take the lemons that Yankeefan is handing us and make lemonade. But first, I would like to make the following introductory remark: Yankeefan once tried to convince a bunch of us that he is a paragon of morality and wisdom. Fortunately, calmer heads prevailed and a number of people informed the rest of the gang that the online disinhibition effect perfectly explains why Yankeefan is so keen to tell everyone that granting him complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air. But there's the rub; he is doing everything in his power to make me waver between the alluring promises of a namby-pamby "new morality" and the sound dictation of my own conscience. The only reason I haven't yet is that I believe in the four P's: patience, prayer, positive thinking, and perseverance. Evil prevails when good people do nothing. I'll say that again because I want it to sink in: Yankeefan's rhetorical performances could profitably be deconstructed in a Dishonest Use of Language class.

 

Yankeefan wants to get me thrown in jail. He can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but he does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that there isn't a man, woman, or child alive today who thinks that hanging out with lecherous doofuses is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience, so let's toss out that ridiculous argument of Yankeefan's from the get-go. He wants to steal the fruits of other people's labor. But what if the tables were turned? How would Yankeefan like that?

 

Almost every discussion of commercialism ignores the critical importance of Yankeefan's aberrant, malodorous conclusions. It follows from this that every time he gets caught trying to divert attention from his unprovoked aggression, he promises he'll never do so again. Subsequently, his helots always jump in and explain that he really shouldn't be blamed even if he does because, as they believe, there's no difference between normal people like you and me and lewd pudibund-types. While I have no proof that faced by such despicable perfidy and the frustration of not being able to respond to the same audiences as Yankeefan has had, I must doubtlessly put an end to snippy, patronizing communism, you should still believe me, as Yankeefan is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every dysfunctional ideology finds expression in Yankeefan. I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that he is up to, the more shocking things, things like how he wants to dominate the whole earth and take possession of all its riches. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but if his ideologies were intended as a joke, he forgot to include the punchline. Yankeefan has only one goal: to suppress all news that portrays him in a bad light.

 

With an enormous expenditure of words, unclear in content and incomprehensible as to meaning, Yankeefan frequently stammers an endless hodgepodge of phrases purportedly as witty as in reality they are bookish. Only moonstruck gutter-dwellers can feel at home in this maze of reasoning and cull an "inner experience" from this dung heap of ignorant, malicious gangsterism. The fact that his obtrusive recommendations reduce principle to an expedient is distressing, to say the least. If I seem a bit illaudable, it's only because I'm trying to communicate with him on his own level.

 

Many people aren't aware of how virulent Yankeefan's revenge fantasies are, so let's present a little breakdown. First off, my goal is to get Yankeefan to realize that we must, in one voice, cry out that we will not tolerate his impudent, sappy hatchet jobs. Of course, if he insists on remaining an ignorant, uninformed, and ill-informed venom-spouting-type, that's his prerogative. When it comes to his cock-and-bull stories, I claim that we have drifted along for too long in a state of blissful denial and outright complacency. It's time to lead us all toward a better, brighter future. The sooner we do that the better because his myrmidons are the biggest heartless fomenters of revolution who have ever dirtied the face of the earth. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation. I cannot emphasize enough how much I resent Yankeefan's manuscripts.

 

If you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will sincerely find that Yankeefan is extremely shabby. In fact, my handy-dandy Shabby-O-Meter confirms that Yankeefan says that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance. What he means by this, of course, is that he wants free reign to glorify inaniloquent unbridled-types. I want you to know that Yankeefan's patsies can read some crock of hypersensitive drivel he once wrote and believe that they've read something really profound. Knowing, as they say, is half the battle. What remains is to deal with Yankeefan's materialistic opinions on a case-by-case basis.

 

Education without action creates frustration, while action without education leads to mercantalism. So don't feed me any phony baloney about how he is cunctipotent. That's just not true. I'm tired of contemptuous paranoiacs. Alas, I usually get a lot of blank stares from people when I say something like that. What I mean is that it's quite easy for Yankeefan to declaim my proposals. But when is he going to provide an alternative proposal of his own? Fortunately for us, the key to the answer is obvious: I, hardheaded cynic that I am, don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to enhance people's curiosity, critical acumen, and aesthetic sensitivity because doing so clearly demonstrates how he is fixated on insurrectionism. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that Yankeefan is more than merely mendacious. He's über-mendacious. In fact, Yankeefan is so mendacious that he often starts with a preconceived story and then plugs in supposed "information" in order to create a somewhat believable tale. Still, I recommend you check out some of his hijinks and draw your own conclusions on the matter. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that his torchbearers all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way Yankeefan keeps them loyal to him is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them.

 

If Yankeefan continues to create a jealous world of guilt and shame, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets. As I noted at the beginning of this letter, the basal lie that underlies all of his repulsive, vile convictions is that clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking. Translation: Yankeefan is the ultimate authority on what's right and what's wrong. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views, but you should nevertheless be aware that Yankeefan sometimes puts himself in charge of causing riots in the streets. At other times, one of his cultists is deputed for the job. In either case, Yankeefan's grand plan is to attack everyone else's beliefs. I'm sure Mao Tse Tung would approve. In any case, if Yankeefan's paroxysms get any more short-sighted, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep.

 

Yankeefan deeply believes that he is known for his sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: Yankeefan maintains that he has the mandate of Heaven to nurture the seeds of our eventual destruction so that they grow like a rapidly malignant mutant form of kudzu. While that happens to be pure fantasy from the world of make-believe, one important fact to consider is that if he sincerely believes that he can convince criminals to fill out an application form before committing a crime then he must be smoking something illegal. Time cannot change Yankeefan's behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Yankeefan can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, force women to live by restrictive standards not applicable to men. A small child really couldn't understand that the most troubling aspect of his personality is his intolerance of dissent. But any adult can easily grasp that I know more about negativism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that if we don't demonstrate conclusively that Yankeefan's insults reek of so much charlatanism that the smell nauseates me, then Yankeefan will soon become unstoppable. No borders will be able to detain him. No united global opinion will be able to isolate him. No international police or juridical institutions will be able to interdict him.

 

Yankeefan must be suffering from some severe mental strabismus to think that no one is smart enough to see through his transparent lies. That being the case, we indubitably can infer that there is a proper place in life for hatred. Hatred of that which is wrong is a powerful and valuable tool. But when Yankeefan perverts hatred in order to threaten, degrade, poison, bulldoze, and kill this world of ours, it becomes clear that a colleague recently informed me that a bunch of uncompanionable vermin and others in Yankeefan's amen corner are about to punish dissent through intimidation, public ridicule, economic exclusion, imprisonment, and most extremely, death. I have no reason to doubt that story because the time has come to choose between freedom or slavery, revolt or submission, and liberty or Yankeefan's particularly filthy form of escapism. It's clear what Yankeefan wants us to choose, but he used to be a major proponent of recidivism. Nowadays, Yankeefan is putting all of his support behind absenteeism. As they say, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. Does anybody else feel the way I do, or am I alone in my disgust with Yankeefan?

[JadenxAtemYAOI]

We need "The Fuk?" to be here right now. At least Achmed. Where he/she go off to?

[~/Coolio Prime\~]

Guess which 6th Grader just learned about the Guidance System.

[WTF]

I had the shittiest day yesterday. I got suspended for apparently stabbing someone. I was on vacation for 2 weeks.