Even the pros have their first cards...

[Kill4Starlight]

[align=center]Well here it is my first card! OCG corrections are much appreciated!

[spoiler=~Click Here~]

 

[spoiler=~LORE~]This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Tribute Summoned by 4 DARK Fiend type monsters. When this card is sent to the Graveyard as a result of an effect, draw 3 cards and have your opponent randomly select one card. Inflict the selected cards DEF to your opponents Life Points.

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[Overlord Lucan]

Bit of an OCG fix:

This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Tribute Summoned by Tributing/Releasing (I'm fairly sure they are both correct.) 4 DARK Fiend monsters. When this card is sent to the Graveyard by an effect (I know this is wrong but I'm not sure what to put instead.), Draw 3 cards and have your Opponent randomly select 1 card in your hand (You weren't clear here, so I just fixed what it looked like.) if that card is a monster card, inflict damage equal to the selected cards DEF points to your opponent's Life Points.

 

I know this isn't 100% correct, but its better then what you have now.

[Dries965]

if it are 4 tributes adjust the level accordingly, but i find it to high

[Overlord Lucan]

There is no level which requires 4 tributes, the highest is 2 tributes. So adjusting the level means nothing

[♥Kärë Bëär♥]

I believe this is the proper OCG.

 

"This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be TributeSpecial Summoned by Tributing 4 DARK Fiend-Type monsters. When this card is sent to the Graveyard as a result of an effect,destroyed by a card effect, draw 3 cards. and have your opponent randomly select one card. Your opponent then randomly selects a card drawn. If the card selected is a Monster Card, your opponent takes damage equal to that card's DEF."

 

So it should look like this:

This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by Tributing 4 DARK Fiend-Type monsters. When this card is destroyed by a card effect, draw 3 cards. Your opponent then randomly selects a card drawn. If the selected card is a Monster Card, your opponent takes damage equal to that card's DEF.

 

 

A side note on your OCG:

Tribute Summoning is a form of Normal Summoning.

 

 

On the card, 3 cards seems a bit much. You draw three cards and whether your opponent has the misfortune of choosing a monster card or not doesn't matter because this card's destruction gives you a drawback-less advantage. Maybe narrow it down to 1 card and your opponent selects a card from your whole hand. Or keep your current and just add that you have to discard some cards too.

[Overlord Lucan]

The "This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by Tributing 4 DARK Fiend-Type monsters." is only if the card maker wanted it to be special summoned by its ability. Also "Your opponent then randomly selects a card drawn." depends again on the makers original intent. makes no sense to me. The rest of your correction seems fine though

[♥Kärë Bëär♥]

Well he could also use "This card can only be Normal Summoned by Tributing 4 DARK Fiend-Type monsters (this card cannot be Set)." But saying this card cannot be normal summoned or set, then saying it can only be tribute summoned makes it impossible to summon (literally) due to self contradiction.

 

And "Your opponent then randomly selects a card drawn" makes perfect sense it says your opponent randomly selects one of the cards drawn through this card's effect.

[Overlord Lucan]

I miss read the "Your opponent then randomly selects a card drawn" and edited my post accordingly, also somehow I missed the fact that the card can't be normal summoned. So your right, but it still comes down to the card maker's intent for whether your OCG fixes are right or not.

 

Congrats on 2 stars BTW

[♥Kärë Bëär♥]

Oh! I didn't mean to sound rude or anything honest. I was just trying to explain what i was saying sorry :( !!

 

And thank you!

 

But your right on the whether or not he decides to say that.

[.Impact]

overlord there acre cards that can take up to 5 cards to summon. Judgment dragon? Anyway nice first card

This card cannot be Normal Summoned=Tribute Summoned. So you should say this card cannot be Special Summoned except by removing from play 4 Fiend-Type monsters in your Graveyard. And by the way all Fiend monsters are Dark. no need for DARK fiend

[Inferno I20]

im not sure but i think is the correct OCG

 

This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by Tributing 4 DARK Fiend type monsters you control. When this card destroyed by battle and sent to the Graveyard, draw 3 cards and your opponent randomly discards 1 card. If the discarded card was a Monster Card, inflict damage to your opponent equal to the DEF of the monster.

[Overlord Lucan]

overlord there acre cards that can take up to 5 cards to summon. Judgment dragon? Anyway nice first card

This card cannot be Normal Summoned=Tribute Summoned. So you should say this card cannot be Special Summoned except by removing from play 4 Fiend-Type monsters in your Graveyard. And by the way all Fiend monsters are Dark. no need for DARK fiend

 

I was refering to a normal Tribute Summon, where the highest amount of monsters is 2. I know monsters can take any amount of cards to summon

[GoldenRook]

i don't think the effect is worth the cost

5/10