C-4 Bomb Scan

[Kōsuke Ueki]

The next time someone makes a rant' date=' I'll KILL YOU!!!

[/quote']

 

Please don't say things like that. Just makes it seem like you're putting yourself on the same level as the one you believe has wronged you. Or even worse.

 

No, it makes him look like a psychopath.

 

 

That's basically going under what I said.

 

Excuse me? I am not a psychopath! What gives you the right to tell me who I am? Only I know who I am, and it's not a psychopath. And I've added a small note at the end of the first post, so that nobody makes this any worse than it already is!

[Kōsuke Ueki]

The next time someone makes a rant' date=' I'll KILL YOU!!!

[/quote']

 

Please don't say things like that. Just makes it seem like you're putting yourself on the same level as the one you believe has wronged you. Or even worse.

 

No, it makes him look like a psychopath.

 

 

That's basically going under what I said.

 

Excuse me? I am not a psychopath! What gives you the right to tell me who I am? Only I know who I am, and it's not a psychopath. And I've added a small note at the end of the first post, so that nobody makes this any worse than it already is!

[Guest]

@Crab Helmet: ...

 

I hate you SO much!

 

 

Did I ask for your opinion? F**K no!

 

Yeah' date=' you kinda did. You explicitly welcomed all comments and criticism.

 

I love how you've now edited the opening posts to welcome all comments except criticism. Banning anyone from saying anything negative about your terrible excuse for a review is clearly the pro way to go.

 

You made me look like a fool!

 

Believe me, sir, you never needed any help from me.

 

AND I HAVE BORDERLINE AUTISM!!!

 

And I have chronic depression and the abuse you have here directed at me has caused me to become suicidal.

 

You are just wasting your life doing a rant on my rant' date=' IN MY TERRITORY!!!

[/quote']

 

o snap dis is his turf

 

This is my opinion!

 

This is my opinion: you're a moron.

 

You shouldn't bother about what I think' date=' but what YOU think about what you do in your life, which is NOTHING!!!

[/quote']

 

When double_c4 writes a review, it's a valid opinion. When Crab Helmet writes a review, her life is wasted. Logic!

 

Haven't you people realized that ranting on someone else's rant is pointless?

 

No' date=' primarily because that's simply not true. Reviews can be bad in the same way that fanfics can be bad.

 

Here's a tip. You got something to say, keep it to yourselves, because I don't want to hear it!

 

Indeed, everyone should keep their opinions about others' works to themselves!

 

...you do realize that you're writing a review series here, right?

 

You say it' date=' you'll get neg repped,

[/quote']

 

OH NOES MAH PRESHUS REPS I TOTALLY CARES ABOUT DEM

 

your post will be reported and you will be BANNED from posting here ever again!

 

Considering that I'm a Super Moderator and you don't know what a Parakoopa is' date=' that seems unlikely.

 

So I got one question...

 

Can you dig it?

 

 

The next time someone makes a rant' date=' I'll KILL YOU!!!

[/quote']

 

OH NO! DOUBLE_C4 WILL KILL YOU THROUGH THE INTERNET!

[Guest]

@Crab Helmet: ...

 

I hate you SO much!

 

 

Did I ask for your opinion? F**K no!

 

Yeah' date=' you kinda did. You explicitly welcomed all comments and criticism.

 

I love how you've now edited the opening posts to welcome all comments except criticism. Banning anyone from saying anything negative about your terrible excuse for a review is clearly the pro way to go.

 

You made me look like a fool!

 

Believe me, sir, you never needed any help from me.

 

AND I HAVE BORDERLINE AUTISM!!!

 

And I have chronic depression and the abuse you have here directed at me has caused me to become suicidal.

 

You are just wasting your life doing a rant on my rant' date=' IN MY TERRITORY!!!

[/quote']

 

o snap dis is his turf

 

This is my opinion!

 

This is my opinion: you're a moron.

 

You shouldn't bother about what I think' date=' but what YOU think about what you do in your life, which is NOTHING!!!

[/quote']

 

When double_c4 writes a review, it's a valid opinion. When Crab Helmet writes a review, her life is wasted. Logic!

 

Haven't you people realized that ranting on someone else's rant is pointless?

 

No' date=' primarily because that's simply not true. Reviews can be bad in the same way that fanfics can be bad.

 

Here's a tip. You got something to say, keep it to yourselves, because I don't want to hear it!

 

Indeed, everyone should keep their opinions about others' works to themselves!

 

...you do realize that you're writing a review series here, right?

 

You say it' date=' you'll get neg repped,

[/quote']

 

OH NOES MAH PRESHUS REPS I TOTALLY CARES ABOUT DEM

 

your post will be reported and you will be BANNED from posting here ever again!

 

Considering that I'm a Super Moderator and you don't know what a Parakoopa is' date=' that seems unlikely.

 

So I got one question...

 

Can you dig it?

 

 

The next time someone makes a rant' date=' I'll KILL YOU!!!

[/quote']

 

OH NO! DOUBLE_C4 WILL KILL YOU THROUGH THE INTERNET!

[Kōsuke Ueki]

...

 

This conversation is over!

[Kōsuke Ueki]

...

 

This conversation is over!

[Kingdom Xathers]

...

 

This conversation is over!

 

Good, I was getting somewaht tired of the whole "back-and-forth" BS. Seriously, I've had all the DRAMA I could witness just from furries alone.

 

But I agree, let's put this to bed, people. End of discussion.

[Kingdom Xathers]

...

 

This conversation is over!

 

Good, I was getting somewaht tired of the whole "back-and-forth" BS. Seriously, I've had all the DRAMA I could witness just from furries alone.

 

But I agree, let's put this to bed, people. End of discussion.

[Godot]

If you're criticizing people for their work, you should be able to take criticism yourself.

 

The next time someone makes a rant' date=' I'll KILL YOU!!!

[/quote']

 

Please don't say things like that. Just makes it seem like you're putting yourself on the same level as the one you believe has wronged you. Or even worse.

 

No, it makes him look like a psychopath.

 

 

That's basically going under what I said.

 

I consider Psychopath on a completely different scale. As in, there is,

 

Level 1

Level 2

Level 3

Level 4

Level 5

 

But if you reach psychopath, it goes like this.

 

Level 1 EXTREME!

Level 2 It's getting worse.

Level 3 He's getting angry...

Level 4 Um, what?

Level 5 *Ice*

 

Fix'd.

[Godot]

If you're criticizing people for their work, you should be able to take criticism yourself.

 

The next time someone makes a rant' date=' I'll KILL YOU!!!

[/quote']

 

Please don't say things like that. Just makes it seem like you're putting yourself on the same level as the one you believe has wronged you. Or even worse.

 

No, it makes him look like a psychopath.

 

 

That's basically going under what I said.

 

I consider Psychopath on a completely different scale. As in, there is,

 

Level 1

Level 2

Level 3

Level 4

Level 5

 

But if you reach psychopath, it goes like this.

 

Level 1 EXTREME!

Level 2 It's getting worse.

Level 3 He's getting angry...

Level 4 Um, what?

Level 5 *Ice*

 

Fix'd.

[Womi]

...

 

This conversation is over!

 

xD

Oh man...

Which movie did you steal that line from?

Dude, there wasn't even a conversation.

[Headmaster Monokuma]

If you're criticizing people for their work' date=' you should be able to take criticism yourself.

 

The next time someone makes a rant' date=' I'll KILL YOU!!!

[/quote']

 

Please don't say things like that. Just makes it seem like you're putting yourself on the same level as the one you believe has wronged you. Or even worse.

 

No, it makes him look like a psychopath.

 

 

That's basically going under what I said.

 

I consider Psychopath on a completely different scale. As in, there is,

 

Level 1

Level 2

Level 3

Level 4

Level 5

 

But if you reach psychopath, it goes like this.

 

Level 1 EXTREME!

Level 2 It's getting worse.

Level 3 He's getting angry...

Level 4 Um, what?

Level 5 *Ice*

 

Fix'd.

 

:D

That's what I was forgetting.

 

The next time someone makes a rant' date=' I'll KILL YOU!!!

[/quote']

 

Please don't say things like that. Just makes it seem like you're putting yourself on the same level as the one you believe has wronged you. Or even worse.

 

No, it makes him look like a psychopath.

 

 

That's basically going under what I said.

 

Excuse me? I am not a psychopath! What gives you the right to tell me who I am? Only I know who I am, and it's not a psychopath. And I've added a small note at the end of the first post, so that nobody makes this any worse than it already is!

 

Sorry for not replying sooner, but I was busy. If you reread what I put, you'll see that I didn't say you were a psychopath, just that what you said could make you seem like one.

[Kōsuke Ueki]

Oh. It's sometimes hard for me to understand what you're saying. My bad.

[Godot]

If you're criticizing people for their work' date=' you should be able to take criticism yourself.

 

The next time someone makes a rant' date=' I'll KILL YOU!!!

[/quote']

 

Please don't say things like that. Just makes it seem like you're putting yourself on the same level as the one you believe has wronged you. Or even worse.

 

No, it makes him look like a psychopath.

 

 

That's basically going under what I said.

 

I consider Psychopath on a completely different scale. As in, there is,

 

Level 1

Level 2

Level 3

Level 4

Level 5

 

But if you reach psychopath, it goes like this.

 

Level 1 Grei

Level 2 Violet

Level 3 Fenix

Level 4 Scar

Level 5 *Ice*

Level 6 Dahlia

 

Fix'd.

 

:D

That's what I was forgetting.

 

WAIT. Fix'd again. Added a 6.

[Grunt Issun]

Any comments, except for criticism, are highly welcome

 

wow, thats actually pretty funking hilarious that you say that. seriously, most comments are criticism, your a reviewer, who cant take criticism, yet you give it, to fan-fics....yeah...you suck

[Kōsuke Ueki]

-_-

 

You are going in my Ignore List, Wynn.

 

Anyway, I tried to make another review and I accidentally closed my window, so when I get a new review up, you'll know.

[Grunt Issun]

Lol your so mature

[Hydra of Ages]

Mhm. Well, to be perfectly honest, your reviews aren't the greatest. Your wording tends to be awkward, and it's rather evident that you're not nearly as experienced in teaching others the basics of writing as some other reviewers.

 

Now that said, I do think that the criticisms leveled at you are a bit blown out of proportion; you're certainly eons better than Pichu, at the very least, and you do get a couple chuckles out of me, though often your attempts at being funny fall flat. That's normal, really; comedy's one of those things you need to practice in order to get good at.

 

All in all, I think your very mission statement could apply to your reviews on a whole. Okay, but could be better. If you kept at it, refined your style and brushed up on some literary know-how, I'm sure you could do far better.

 

As for the obligatory plug-in; if you're willing to do stories that are perhaps a cut or two above horrible, I'd like to volunteer my fic The Ubiquitous Circumstance for review. I'm interested to see what kind of flaws you'd find at least, since thusfar all of the critique has been centered on minor spelling errors and somewhat awkward prose formatting.

[Jolta]

Accepting reviews?

 

I meant, requests....

 

http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/thread-212775.html

 

Its highly recommended that you review the more interesting one. Boredom is bad.

[Kōsuke Ueki]

Mhm. Well' date=' to be perfectly honest, your reviews aren't the greatest. Your wording tends to be awkward, and it's rather evident that you're not nearly as experienced in teaching others the basics of writing as some other reviewers.

 

Now that said, I do think that the criticisms leveled at you are a bit blown out of proportion; you're certainly eons better than Pichu, at the very least, and you do get a couple chuckles out of me, though often your attempts at being funny fall flat. That's normal, really; comedy's one of those things you need to practice in order to get good at.

 

All in all, I think your very mission statement could apply to your reviews on a whole. Okay, but could be better. If you kept at it, refined your style and brushed up on some literary know-how, I'm sure you could do far better.

 

As for the obligatory plug-in; if you're willing to do stories that are perhaps a cut or two above horrible, I'd like to volunteer my fic The Ubiquitous Circumstance for review. I'm interested to see what kind of flaws you'd find at least, since thus far all of the critique has been centered on minor spelling errors and somewhat awkward prose formatting.

 

Well, since I'm not fond of understanding a lot of different terms in your writing, I would have had to overwork myself looking for every known detail involved with the story and I would never get it done. Besides, I'm pretty sure that my full review would never fit in the post completely. So, yeah. I'll turn yours down,

 

Accepting reviews?

 

I meant' date=' requests....

 

http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/thread-212775.html

 

Its highly recommended that you review the more interesting one. Boredom is bad.

[/quote']

 

Short enough. I'll get a look on it when I have nothing else to do on this site.

[Hydra of Ages]

Fair enough.

[Kōsuke Ueki]

Hey, guys. I made a new review. I might not be able to fit it on the first post, so I'll post it here and put the main link in the first post. Enjoy.

 

[spoiler=Avatar: The Last Air Bender - Leaves From the Vine - The Lu Ten Chronicles by Orza]

Leaves on the Vine

 

Strange. Because the title says "Leaves From the Vine". I guess it's different storywise and titlewise(I know that isn't a real word. It makes the most sense out of me).

 

This book follows Lu Ten's life. The son of the great Iroh, during the invasion of the fire nation.

 

So, in retrospect, Lu Ten is the main protagonist? Let's hope the story is good.

 

It portraits Lu Ten as a vicious character who soon learns a true lesson in life.

 

So basically, he's suicidal, but soon understands that death will do nothing to help. Where have I heard this before? From the world around us!

 

Reviewers will receive one positive reputation point. However, please review once more is released.

 

I would have to go with Rinne on this one. It's true that a form of compensation isn't allowed, but I believe there is a purpose to it. To show that people get something in return when they do something good for them. So, basically, certain forms of compensation should be allowed, including the one that is being used.

 

Chapter 1

Page 1

 

Lu Ten gazed out at the stars of the harsh ebony night. Rubbing the surface of his foot against the solid decking…it punished his feet.

 

Okay, this is a good start to a life story. Describing the background, the character's reaction to it. I'm already liking the storyteller. If you keep this pace, I might give you a good summary at the end.

 

His clothes were that of royals, long crimson fire nation robes, a crisp collar with gold lining on the outside, of which matched his eyes, the robe was buttoned up tightly in a traditional Wushu style. Lu Ten was a proud fire nation warrior and next in line to the thrown after his father Iroh; “The great dragon of the west”.

 

This is getting better with each paragraph. Keep going. I like what's going on.

 

Lu Ten grazed his hand along the banister of the balcony and slowly walked down a few short steps. His hands clasped together, firmly behind his back, he carried on walking until he reached a small pond, in the middle of which rested a Bonsai tree. Looking at his reflection in the water it was an elusive gray, alike Lu Ten’s heart.

 

Hm. First you explained he was suicidal, and now you say he's has a blank mind. Nice transition, unless you weren't doing anything like that. You explain his feelings with ease. You are not bad of a writer.

 

“General Lu Ten, General Lu Ten!” Lu Ten pivoted his head toward the left, only to see a young soldier in red fire nation uniform sprinting towards him. “General Lu Ten, orders from General Wong.” Opening a fire nation scroll he read aloud “Dear General Lu Ten, a riot is forming down the east side of Ba Sing Sei, please report immediately, General Wong.”

 

Although you might not know exactly how to use letter format in your writing, I'll just ignore it, since it's covered up with such great vocabulary.

 

“Very well” Lu Ten said, his eyes shut in lapse. “I will report as wished”

Lu Ten shortly arrived at the east. Men scattered all over with torches, pitchforks and anything of that matter.

 

That was a bit below average writing, but I still like how this is going.

 

“What do you want?” Lu Ten said over the voices of the crowd. “We want our crops and families back” a burly man at the front said, wearing an old straw hat and chewing on a piece of wheat. “Do you know how many lives you’ve ruined?” another said. “Silence!” Lu Ten commanded, you will go back to your homes and you will obey the fire nation’s every command.

 

Now he sounds demanding. Who'd to think he had so many different things in his personality? I'm liking this a lot!

 

“Not until our demands are met…” this time, the voice was calm as a large tenacious man stepped forward, with a strong fat build and a long gray beard, age was not on his side.

 

Now we're introduced someone new. All of this in mere 7 paragraphs. That's a bit rushing, isn't it? It doesn't matter. The story's good so far.

 

“And just who do you think you are?” “I am Bo Dang, and just who are you, invading our homes!?” “I am General Lu Ten, prince of the fire nation and next in heir to the thrown” Lu Ten replied.

 

Well, that was a short conversation. Oh well. And this "Bo Dang" seems like a very interesting character. Let's continue.

 

“Please meet our orders Prince Lu Ten, or we will be forced to take matters into are own hands” “And just what can you do?” Lu Ten questioned. Bo Dang took a secure fighting stance, his legs spread apart with his knees bent. He held his right fist in and he spread his left hand’s palm. “So…you’re an earth bender…hardly surprising” Lu Ten declared.

 

Who'd to think? In only 3 paragraphs, this "Bo Dang" intervened a direct demand, mentioned his name, and was left to use self-defense along with realization of being an Earth Bender. Impressive.

 

Bo Dang shot his right fist forwards, twisting his arm as he did. A shot of earth pummeled out of the ground knocking Lu Ten off of his feet. Lu Ten flipped himself up and swept his leg across his body, hurtling a blitz of fire towards Bo Dang, this not being Bo Dang’s first time fighting a fire nation soldier simply fended it off by forcing up some rock into a shield like form, then he slammed the shield forwards into Lu Ten, knocking him off his feet.

 

3 sentences. 3 sentences, the last consisted of being a run-on sentence. Didn't expect that. NOT! Am I stupid? Forget it. Moving on!

 

Fleeing his soldiers abandoned Lu Ten.

 

I can actually tell what it means. But without the comma, it makes no sense. And I can't believe this is how the chapter ends. But I do understand why. In fear of this, well short, battle, the soldiers run away, making sure not to get involved. Not bad.

 

Overall Summary

 

Through very little spelling and punctuation errors, this is a good way to start out the story. The first chapter is always the chapter that explains the background and random situations in said area so they can begin the next chapter, giving clues to the main plot that goes through the chapters as they advance further and further.

 

This is the best chapter I have ever reviewed. I never expected someone had this kinda of writing talent and made it into such a short chapter. You deserve an 8 out of 10 for your outstanding performance of good use of vocabulary and literary terms. Good work for a starting chapter.

 

[Guest]

Since Blazinghydra seems to be taking the opposite stance, I'd just like to take this opportunity to clarify why I think the C-4 Bomb Scan was inferior even to Pichu's nonsense. Pichu is a moron and the stuff he claims to have written himself cannot reasonably be called a review, but that means that, while his monkey antics have no positive effect whatsoever, they also don't particularly hurt anything; nobody will get bad advice from them. double_c4's review had equally few positive qualities, but it also came equipped with many negative qualities, giving all sorts of bad advice, like demanding a Chapter Characters, advising the removal of Birdo due to obscurity, and acting like a wall of exposition needed to be dropped as soon as anything ever happened. For all his faults, I can't say that Pichu could ever make anyone write worse. double_c4 can't even reach that level of quality.

[Grunt Issun]

Wow...crab...is...epic!

No matter how much he attacked pichu in the past, he shows that c4 is even worse...holy crap

[Hydra of Ages]

Since Blazinghydra seems to be taking the opposite stance' date=' I'd just like to take this opportunity to clarify why I think the C-4 Bomb Scan was inferior even to Pichu's nonsense. Pichu is a moron and the stuff he claims to have written himself cannot reasonably be called a review, but that means that, while his monkey antics have no positive effect whatsoever, they also don't particularly hurt anything; nobody will get bad advice from them. double_c4's review had equally few positive qualities, but it also came equipped with many negative qualities, giving all sorts of bad advice, like demanding a Chapter Characters, advising the removal of Birdo due to obscurity, and acting like a wall of exposition needed to be dropped as soon as anything ever happened. For all his faults, I can't say that Pichu could ever make anyone write worse. double_c4 can't even reach that level of quality.

[/quote']

 

One could argue that as Pichu's reviews can't be called reviews in any form of the word, they're by default the worse review. I mean, a rusty, brittle sword won't help you much and you'll likely get infections just by holding it, but it's still by definition a better 'sword' than, say, a pool of gelatin. Even if the gelatin is less likely to give you an obscure disease.

 

C4's mistakes, while legitimately horrible advice, aren't exactly world-shattering. At worst, using only well-known characters and a Chapter Characters are annoyances in fics that can't really make a story horrible on its own. The over-emphasis on explanation is a bit more serious, but honestly that's legitimate advice in some cases; after all, some people simply refuse to explain absolute anything about the plot, and seem to only make sense in the mind of the writer. Mind you, that wasn't the case in the story he commented on, but...

 

So yeah, my essential point is that while C4's reviews (the first, anyway. I've yet to read the second.) don't really help, they're not particularly harmful either. In any case, I think he really does know what aspects make up a good story, he's just not so great at saying it. Or something. I dunno, I might just be unnaturally positive, but I think he can improve.

 

Reading the second one now. C4, please have improved, I don't want to be wrong.