Food With Essence

[RickiMinaj]

Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom.... I'm chewing on your lollipop head.

 

Do you like that? Of course you don't, so let me tell you what you will like... A few tips for all of you cooks, wannabe's and self proclaimed gods~

 

When beating eggs, don't over beat, or you will be beaten. No seriously, they will grab the whisk from you and tear you up like the unformed chickens they is. Over beating eggs is always a big no no (unless the recipe calls for it). Over beating makes the eggs to stiff which can lead to screwed up cakes and brownies and other goodies. Now i don't know about you, but I love my cupcakes... especially the ones with frosting on top. ;D

When over beating does happen, baked fluffy goods get those really gross tunnels in them which makes them look like worms have run through. Oh... and over beating eggs in other recipes will screw up the texture!

 

Mushrooms! Other than being one of the least significant ways to get high, they do a great job in killing humans and tasting very good... when used properly of course. Over crowding mushrooms in a pan will not brown them, and will cause for an overcooked piece of ewwwwwww. Creaming mushrooms should be done with white or light mushrooms because anything else looks gross, and tastes grosser. On that note, portabelo's are for the grill and fry freaks. DO NOT STEAM THOSE!

 

And my last tip for today is that take out is for the weak. Restaurants and those delivery systems kill your wallet with chainsaws. Making food at home saves you like a butt load of money. And do not under estimate the power of the spatula, because it brings out more than just food. Studies show that couples that cook together have more bow chicka wow wow time, and sex on counter tops is all the more fun. ;D

 

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed these tips, and I shall hopefully keep you informed on more tips in the future~

[Azerty-of-KoL]

Huzzah! Thanks for these tips! I'll be sure to keep them in mind when I cook.

[RickiMinaj]

Huzzah! Thanks for these tips! I'll be sure to keep them in mind when I cook.

 

Glad I could help. I'll post more soon ^_^

[Yankee]

lol...random thread by Gphaku = win XD

[RickiMinaj]

lol...random thread by Gphaku = win XD

 

Yes, yes it does =D

[Yankee]

lol...random thread by Gphaku = win XD

 

Yes' date=' yes it does =D

[/quote']

 

^_\\\

This IS random...o.0

[Saturn of Elemia]

- Already knew the trick with eggs

- HATE Mushrooms with a freaking passion

- I like restaurants

[RickiMinaj]

- Already knew the trick with eggs

- HATE Mushrooms with a freaking passion

- I like restaurants

 

Thank you for the pointless post. xD

 

lol...random thread by Gphaku = win XD

 

Yes' date=' yes it does =D

[/quote']

 

^_\\\

This IS random...o.0

 

Sorta, more tricks to help will come =D

[Womi]

ty but u forgotz teh most importastestent tip

u have 2 have sum kind of kitchen.

[Saturn of Elemia]

- Already knew the trick with eggs

- HATE Mushrooms with a freaking passion

- I like restaurants

 

Thank you for the pointless post. xD

 

And some of the others in this thread aren't pointless? Least mine was on topic.

 

Here's a cooking trick for you:

 

If you cook crawfish, pay attention to the tail. If it curls, it was alive when it was cooked and is fine to eat. If it is straight, then it was dead when it was cooked and isn't good to eat - throw it away.

[Fidel Castro]

Another tip.

 

Butter is thy friend. Salt is thine enemy.

 

Also, steak fried in butter = epicness.

 

Final tip. When boiling frogs. If you place a frog in hot water it will jump out. If you place it in warm water and slowly heat it, the frog will stay.

 

I lied. Final tip. Never, EVER eat lobster that has been killed via head trauma. It will release poison into its body that can and WILL kill you. Only eat lobster that has been properly boiled as boiling the lobster will not release poison.

[Saturn of Elemia]

Another tip.

 

Butter is thy friend. Salt is thine enemy.

 

Also' date=' steak fried in butter = epicness.

 

Final tip. When boiling frogs. If you place a frog in hot water it will jump out. If you place it in warm water and slowly heat it, the frog will stay.

 

I lied. Final tip. Never, EVER eat lobster that has been killed via head trauma. It will release poison into its body that can and WILL kill you. Only eat lobster that has been properly boiled as boiling the lobster will not release poison.

[/quote']

 

Didn't know that lobsters had poision in them. SO, they can turn themselves into contaminated fugu? What a lovely defense.

[Fidel Castro]

Thats why they were considered a 'holy' food.

 

Pretty much if you kill it in any other way besides boiling it, it will kill you back.

[Amethyst Phoenix]

Gphaku is really Iron Chef Bobby Flay?

 

 

 

 

It all makes sense now.

[Pikachu]

Wow, I never knew kids could cook nowadays.

 

I thought they could only cook screwed-up eggs and charcoal-covered bacon, but this might change everything!

[Kaisu]

I can make cookies, toasties(Does that count?), cornish pasties and some pinwheels..

 

On topic, wudaboutoverbeatingsugerandbutter?

 

AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH SALT!? Butter... And steak?

[RickiMinaj]

Gphaku is really Iron Chef Bobby Flay?

 

 

 

 

It all makes sense now.

 

HELL YEA I AM!

 

Wow' date=' I never knew kids could cook nowadays.

 

I thought they could only cook screwed-up eggs and charcoal-covered bacon, but this might change everything!

[/quote']

 

Im 21 tank you very much ^^

[Azerty-of-KoL]

Mmm... Just made a delicious red velvet cake.

[JadenxAtemYAOI]

Another tip.

 

Butter is thy friend. Salt is thine enemy.

 

Also' date=' steak fried in butter = epicness.

 

Final tip. When boiling frogs. If you place a frog in hot water it will jump out. If you place it in warm water and slowly heat it, the frog will stay.

 

I lied. Final tip. Never, EVER eat lobster that has been killed via head trauma. It will release poison into its body that can and WILL kill you. Only eat lobster that has been properly boiled as boiling the lobster will not release poison.

[/quote']

 

Didn't know that lobsters had poision in them. SO, they can turn themselves into contaminated fugu? What a lovely defense.

So that's why I had to not kill the lobster that way. I wanted to smash its head in but my bf's grandfather said it would taste nasty that way XD

 

Umm, never boil donuts without proper training. My arms tell the tale

Slow cook steaks, with rub and sauce and it will be tender. Preferably smoked in a pit and not with a machine. (taste a lot better)

If you want your foods to be more spicy with hot sauce, mash peas into the hot sauce.

When rubbing seasoning into meats use a sauce or water to reopen the pores of the meat or they will be clogged and lose flavor

 

BBQ doesn't involve a grill Americans. that's called grilling. BBQ involves smoking the meat in a pit. different types of wood produce different flavors. If you don't believe me then read the cookbook/autobiography Peace, Love, and Barbecue.

[Tempest Dahlia]

Thanks for giving us information we could have just looked up.

[Clair]

Cool topic. ^^

 

I can only cook up a mean cold cereal.

[Kaisu]

Korean Ramen. Korean Oudong. Korean Ghapagetti. Cup Ramen.

 

Do those count?

[Amethyst Phoenix]

BBQ doesn't involve a grill Americans. that's called grilling. BBQ involves smoking the meat in a pit. different types of wood produce different flavors. If you don't believe me then read the cookbook/autobiography Peace' date=' Love, and Barbecue.

[/quote']

 

Almost everyone I know is aware of this distinction, as are all the BBQ chain restaurants in my country of residence.

 

I don't appreciate your stereotypical generalizations.

 

 

 

[spoiler=My cooking tips~]

Bacon is horrible in sushi rolls. It is incompatible with all forms of sashimi, and is only added because people think it's trendy. Sushi also doesn't keep well. The rice will harden in about 6 hours. For this reason, store bought sushi will always be a horrible, low-grade product. You can make your own sushi using sushi-grade tuna found in the frozen fish section.

 

 

Steaks are best served rare - medium rare. They lose all the juices and flavor past that, and actually become tougher rather than tender. Most high-quality steakhouses will refuse to cook a steak past medium. If it's not vibrant pink or red, send it back. Don't settle for screwed up steaks.

 

 

Atlantic Salmon is more tender and juicy than Alaskan Sockeye Salmon. Both taste fantastic grilled with a raspberry-chipolte sauce.

 

 

Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to bury your escargot in cheese, oil, and puff pastry. The escargot itself is very good, but you can't taste it under all that. Skip the cheese, go light on the oil, and make sure the puff pastries aren't triple the size of the snails they're complementing.

 

To make Sriacha Mayo, you need Japanese Mayonnaise for it to turn out right. It's yellow, in a slimmer, taller bottle. You can find it in specialty stores. Regular mayo produces are disgusting concoction that tates like sour cream and cocktail sauce mixed.