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My First Card!


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My OCG is terrible, so please help me. This is my first card and I hope you enjoy it:

 

580295.jpg

[spoiler= Lore]

This monster cannot be Special Summoned. This monster must be Normal Summoned in face-up attack position. This monster returns to the owner's hand during the End Phase of the turn it was Normal Summoned. When this monster inflicts Battle Damage you can only activate one of the following effects:

- Select 2 cards in your opponent's hand, if one them is not a "Warrior" monster inflict 300 times the level of the selected monster(s) as Battle* Damage to your opponent (if both are "Warrior" monster your opponent chooses 1.)

-Search your deck for a "Warrior" monster, and during your next Standby Phase, Special Summon it in face-up attack Position.

-Pay half of your Life Points to increase this monster's ATK by 2500 Points and this monster can attack again.

 


Is that better?

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LORE: This monster cannot be Special Summoned. This monster must be Normal Summoned in face-up attack position. This monster returns to the owner's hand during the End Phase of the turn it was Normal Summoned. When this monster inflicts Battle Damage you can only activate one of the following effects:

- Select 2 cards in your opponent's hand, if one them is not a "Warrior" monsterinflict 300 times the level of the selected monster(s) as Battle* Damage to your opponent (if both are "Warrior" monster your opponent chooses 1).

-Search your deck for a "Warrior" monster, and during your next Standby Phase** Special Summon it in face-up attack Position.

-Pay half of your Life Points to increase this monster's ATK by 3000 Points*** and do? your Battle Phase again****.

 

I bolded the OCG errors and some of the capitalization errors.

*-Battle? Do you mean Direct?

**-Choose whatever (Draw,Standby,Main,Battle,Main2,End-Phase)

***-3000 is too much... thats a OTK right there (with a combination of the ****)

****-This would be super banned because 3100 ATK for a lvl 3? and then 6100 ATK next? Thats too powerful. There is ALSO a problem with it being a Spirit monster, it returns to your hand and does the extra added ATK go away?

The Pic is ok at least. The reason is that the background is too plain-- it needs "Pizzaz"(haha) and the weird bird-head next to the warrior.

 

OVERALL: Since the card isnt "Perfect" ill rate 4/10 as a temporary rating.

Once you change the card i will rate again

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