My first card, awaiting criticism

[Forgotten_Sorrows]

^Well there it is...Im waiting to be critisised, if i'm not than i am realy good at this...

[Brandon Michael Geren]

Terribad OCG. And terribad card.

[chedbonlahor]

It's an interesting card, but let me help you out:

 

1. The name "angel of death" is an overused name you may have to try and be more creative

2. The picture is good I like it

3. The OCG (Oficial Card Grammar) is confused and not very clear, this is what I would do to change it:

 

You must pay 500 Life Points to Normal Summon this Monster. Once per turn, destroy one Monster on your opponent's side of the field with the lowest ATK, when the selected monster is sent to the Graveyard inflict 500 to your opponent's Life Points.

 

4. I have an issue with the 2000 Def point thing, either give it 2000 DEF points or give it 0, dont confuse yourself and others.

 

Overall its imaginative, but I feel that it tries a little too hard and that you have scrapped together an effect without any real thought.

 

Keep trying: 5.5/10

[coleio12]

hmm yes terrible OCG add some stars to it, i think and it's a OK pic for the card and i rate 3/10 just not a good card. go on yugioh card wiki or somthing and get some ideas for future cards you make and hope to see more cards from you

[Forgotten_Sorrows]

It's an interesting card' date=' but let me help you out:

 

1. The name "angel of death" is an overused name you may have to try and be more creative

2. The picture is good I like it

3. The OCG (Oficial Card Grammar) is confused and not very clear, this is what I would do to change it:

 

You must pay 500 Life Points to Normal Summon this Monster. Once per turn, destroy one Monster on your opponent's side of the field with the lowest ATK, when the selected monster is sent to the Graveyard inflict 500 to your opponent's Life Points.

 

4. I have an issue with the 2000 Def point thing, either give it 2000 DEF points or give it 0, dont confuse yourself and others.

 

Overall its imaginative, but I feel that it tries a little too hard and that you have scrapped together an effect without any real thought.

 

Keep trying: 5.5/10

[/quote']

 

I appreciate the help

[windninja96]

its ok, but the stars OCG and effect need work

[Cable168]

Its alright, fix the Official Card Grammar and you're good to go. 6/10

[arcfigter]

Your coming at the OCG all wrong. You need to describe the effect, not tell it.

[Skirts]

Its alright' date=' fix the Official Card Grammar and you're good to go. 6/10

[/quote']

 

^You're not one to talk. I rate your cards and let me tell you that .. Ho'man. YOU need to fix your OCG. Badkidisbad.

 

Now for the card rating. The picture is decent, and like chedbonlahor said, the name is unoriginal. Work on your OCG and grammar for sure. 5/10 For trying. Good luck!