An Examination - Hedgehogs

[~/Coolio Prime\~]

All I can do here is convey my complete and genuine shock. To organize my discussion, I suggest that we take one step back in the causal chain and derail Hedgehogs's eccentric little schemes. It is quite true, of course, that Hedgehogs is both literally and figuratively attacking the critical realism and impassive objectivity that are the central epistemological foundations of the scientific worldview. But in any decent society, Hedgehogs would be just another thrasonical lout standing on a streetcorner braying his nonsensical diatribes from atop a soapbox. Nevertheless, he has managed to gain some credibility among hate-filled cheapjacks because they relate to her message that clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking.

 

In the Old Testament, the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I'm not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving Hedgehogs, but Hedgehogs says that adventurism is absolutely essential to the well-being of society. Wow! Isn't that like hiding the stolen goods in the closet and, when the cops come in, standing in front of the closet door and exclaiming, "They're not in here!"? He will probably throw another hissy fit if we don't let him limit the terms of debate by declaring certain subjects beyond discussion. At least putting up with another Hedgehogs hissy fit is easier than convincing Hedgehogs's provocateurs that what I take much more seriously than soporific charlatans are meddlesome brownshirts. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that by excluding any possibility of comparison, he can easily pass off his own quips as works of genius. We can therefore extrapolate that if he were to dilute the nation's sense of common purpose and shared sacrifice, it would be a grave insult to everyone who devoted his or her life's work to helping the less fortunate. (Note the heroic restraint stopping me from saying that Hedgehogs prizes wealth and celebrity over and above decent morals and sound judgment.)

 

In a broad-brush sense, Hedgehogs's understrappers are quick to point out that because Hedgehogs is hated, persecuted, and repeatedly laughed at, he is the real victim here. The truth is that, if anything, Hedgehogs is a victim of his own success—a success that enables Hedgehogs to poison the air, water, and soil. In any case, I never intend to offend anyone, Hedgehogs included. Alas, the following statement may upset a few people: I must protest Hedgehogs's use of the worst classes of small-minded serpents there are to woo over revolting, ungrateful blockheads by using tactics such as scapegoating, reductionist and simplistic solutions, demagoguery, and a conspiracy theory of history. Some people squirm a bit when they they read things like that, but such statements are the key to explaining why Hedgehogs plans to promote a lamebrained totalitarianism. The result will be an amalgam of puerile jingoism and unrealistic conformism, if such a monster can be imagined.

 

 

Don't Hedgehogs ever get tired of calling everyone a picayunish vagrant? It seems clear that some of their superstitious fibs are so self-contradictory, they're their own refutation. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that now that I've been exposed to Hedgehogs' allocutions I must admit that I don't completely understand them. Perhaps I need to get out more. Or perhaps you should check out some of the things Hedgehogs is saying about statism. The litany of inaccuracies, half-truths, made-up "facts", and downright falsehoods will shock you. And I won't even bother mentioning that I am not predicting anything specific. I just have a feeling, an intuition, based on several things that are happening now that Hedgehogs will mute the voice of anyone who dares to speak out against him by the end of the decade.

 

When it comes to Hedgehogs's propositions, I certainly warrant that we have drifted along for too long in a state of blissful denial and outright complacency. It's time to proscribe him and his disciples as the most dangerous enemies of the people. The sooner we do that the better because I want to stand by our principles and be true to them on all occasions, in all places, against all foes, and at whatever cost. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé but because I should note that there are two things we need to do right away. First, we need to cast a ray of light on Hedgehogs's twisted, wanton bruta fulmina. Second—and this is critical so get out your highlighter—we need to call for a return to the values that made this country great. Once those two things are accomplished we can finally start discussing how Hedgehogs doubtlessly believes that he is entitled to blame those who have no power to change the current direction of events. What kind of Humpty-Dumpty world is he living in? As you no doubt realize, that's a particularly timely question. In fact, just half an hour ago I heard someone express the opinion that Hedgehogs insists that he has no choice but to form the association in the public's mind between any credos he disagrees with and the ideas of hate and violence and illegality. His reasoning is that he is able to abrogate the natural order of effects flowing from causes. Yes, I realize that that argument makes no sense, but if Hedgehogs gets his way, I might very well die a slow and painful death.

 

DOES A SENTIENT BEING DESERVE SUCH A FATE?!

 

If Hedgehogs is incapable of discerning the mad ramblings of lackadaisical, careless heretics from the wisdom and nuance embedded in a sage's discourse then I seriously doubt that he'll be capable of determining that I have no set opinion as to whether or not it is up to each of us to rebuild our communities. I do, however, really maintain that Hedgehogs's mottos run on pure irony. To enter adequately into details or particulars upon this subject in such a short letter as this is quite out of the question. Hence, I will only remark here, in a general way but with all the emphasis of earnestness and truth, that there is no doubt that Hedgehogs will anesthetize the human spirit when you least expect it. Believe me, I would give everything I own to be wrong on that point, but the truth is that according to Hedgehogs, he is a man of morality, achievements, and noble qualities, one who often sacrifices his own reputation or safety in order to pursue that which is right and those things that truly matter. He might as well be reading tea leaves or tossing chicken bones on the floor for divination about what's true and what isn't. Maybe then Hedgehogs would realize that his Ponzi schemes represent an illegitimate, unilateral attempt to progressively enlarge and increasingly centralize the means of oppression, exploitation, violence, and destruction. But you knew that already. So let me add that all he really wants is to hang onto the perks he's getting from the system. That's all he really cares about.

 

The foregoing analysis is self-evident even if it is sometimes overlooked. Less evident are the specific ways in which we should condemn—without hesitation, without remorse—all those who produce a new generation of alarmism-oriented gits whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized. Hedgehogs is inherently intolerant, adversarial, and nefarious. Oh, and he also has an immoral mode of existence.

 

 

For the nonce, Hedgehogs is content to defend sexism, sectarianism, and notions of racial superiority. But in a lustrum or two, he will manipulate public understanding of Bulverism. He is trying to brainwash us. He wants us to believe that it's jaundiced to nourish children with good morals and self-esteem; that's boring; that's not cool. You know what I think of that, don't you? I think that we should address the continued social injustice shown by stultiloquent delinquents. (Goodness knows, our elected officials aren't going to.)

 

If Hedgehogs were to get his hands on the levers of power he'd immediately paint people of different races and cultures as sappy alien forces undermining the coherent national will. If you don't believe me then consider that I don't know which are worse, right-wing tyrants or left-wing tyrants. But I do know that I unequivocally hope that the truth will prevail and that justice will be served before Hedgehogs does any real damage. Or is it already too late? I've never gotten a clear and honest answer to that question from Hedgehogs. But what is clear is that if the country were overrun by the most hidebound carpers you'll ever see, we could expect to observe widespread discrimination in our daily lives—stares from sales clerks, taxis that don't stop, and unwarranted license and registration checks by police. Hedgehogs has been trying for quite some time to convince us that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to impale us on the pike of emotionalism. I suggest he take this rotting ordure and dump it where he and his fellow ignominious extortionists congregate. At least then we could promote peace, prosperity, and quality of life, both here and abroad, without having to worry that he will institutionalize nihilism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science.

 

It is clear from what I have already written that Hedgehogs is a serial exaggerator. If I were to be less kind, I'd say he's a liar. Either way, Hedgehogs's coadjutors are too lazy to make an impartial and well-informed evaluation of the advantages and disadvantages of Hedgehogs's fusillades. They just want to sit back, fasten their mouths on the public teats, and casually forget that if we don't operate on today's real—not tomorrow's ideal—political terrain, our children will curse us in our graves. Speaking of our children, we need to teach them diligently that the harebrained and obtuse nature of Hedgehogs's convictions should indicate to us that something needs to be done. Well, that's a bit too general of a statement to have much meaning, I'm afraid. So let me instead explain my point as follows: This makes me fearful that I might someday find myself in the crosshairs of Hedgehogs's prissy, delusional opinions. (To be honest, though, it wouldn't be the first time.) I'd like to finish with a quote from a private e-mail message sent to me by a close friend of mine: "It's never too late to hone in on Hedgehogs's faults with laser-like precision".

 

I for one cannot condone the actions of a creature whose entire backside is riddled with spikes. Thank you for your time and concern.

[Kizzi]

I read the OP.

[OmegaWave]

[~ P O L A R I S ~]

But in any decent society' date=' Hedgehogs would be just another thrasonical lout standing on a streetcorner braying his nonsensical diatribes from atop a soapbox. Nevertheless, he has managed to gain some credibility among hate-filled cheapjacks because they relate to her message that clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking.[/quote']

 

In the Old Testament' date=' the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I'm not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving Hedgehogs, but Hedgehogs says that adventurism is absolutely essential to the well-being of society.[/quote']

 

It's beautiful!

[Yasu]

And they're cute too :3

[MarbleZone]

I thought this fad was over?