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Meister Vergessenheit

LiAM

By LiAM
in Realistic Cards

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LiAM Newbie

LiAM

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[center][b]One of the badass monsters from my new archtype.
Making a Set based on German named monsters for my own use; planning to print them :D[/b]
[u][b]Name:[/b][/u] [b][color="#800080"][i]Master of Oblivion[/i][/color][/b].
[spoiler=VERSION 1][img]http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/164/61523r.jpg[/img]
[color="#4B0082"]This card's ATK is equal to the combined ATK of all monsters Tributed to Summon
this monster. Once per turn, you can remove from play monsters in your Graveyard
equal to the Level of 1 monster your opponent controls and destroy it (this card
cannot declare an attack the turn you use this effect).[/color][/spoiler]
[img]http://img838.imageshack.us/img838/680/61523y.jpg[/img][/center]

[color="#4B0082"][i]DM-EN000
Deutsch Meister[/i][/color]

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Six Samz 500 Newbie

Six Samz 500

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[quote name='LiAM' timestamp='1283460488' post='4593022']
[center][b]One of the badass monsters from my new archtype.
Making a Set based on German named monsters for my own use; planning to print them :D[/b]
[u][b]Name:[/b][/u] [b][color="#800080"][i]Master Oblivion[/i][/color][/b].
[img]http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/164/61523r.jpg[/img]
[color="#4B0082"]This card's ATK is equal to the combined ATK of all monsters Tributed to Summon
this monster. Once per turn, you can remove from play monsters in your Graveyard
equal to the Level of 1 monster your opponent controls and destroy it (this card
cannot declare an attack the turn you use this effect).[/color][/center]

[color="#4B0082"][i]DM-EN000
Deutsch Meister[/i][/color]
[/quote]
GOOD: nice pic and good imaginative second effect.
BAD: 2 tributes old 1st effect. 6/10

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Anbu-of-Sand Newbie

Anbu-of-Sand

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[color=blue][b]Meister Vergessenheit[/b][/color]

[b]OCG / Common Sense:[/b]
First Sentence = This card's ATK is equal to the combined ATK of all monsters used to Tribute Summon this card. (Reworded)
Last Sentence = This card cannot declare an attack the turn you activate this effect. (Brackets are not needed)

[b]Effect / Originality:[/b]
The card as a Level 8, needs 2 Tributes. So Tributing to lets say, 1800 beaters easily makes this a whopping 3600. It also can destroy monsters by removing from play monsters in your Graveyard. This part would be much better if it said monster(s), otherwise you would have to remove more than 1 to use it's effect. The card really lacks creativity, I've seen this effect here and I believe once in the TCG. The first effect that is.

[b]Usefulness / Balance:[/b]
The card is useful, but needs a better effect. Something that fits the archetypes main concept and something that can perhaps support you or the archetype as well. The card is lacking a balance, even with that drawback, the ATK it can gain could be enormous. It might need some sort of drawback for that. The card is also useful as fodder for Trade-In, Allure of Darkness, etc.

[b]Ratings:[/b]
OCG / Common Sense: 1.8/2
Effect / Originality: 2.1/4
Usefulness / Balance: 2.9/4
[b]Overall: 7.8/10[/b]
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Spoon Newbie

Spoon

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A german card name? Sorry, I just had to look at it (even though I don't drop by in this section very often). In german that sounds kind of awkward btw. It's not wrong, it just doesn't sound good in my ears. "Meister der Vergessenheit" or "Meister des [i]Vergessens[/i]", meaning Master [i]of[/i] Oblivion sounds better (while "Vergessenheit" is rarely used anyways). But, I'm nitpicking on a cards name... don't mind it :lol:

Picture's awesome, the effect is pretty good as well... I don't know what Mr. Yami has to complain about, maybe the first was used one or two times, but it's not that common and doesn't ruin the overall card. Also, it suits the cards name... around 2 corners, but it suits it :P

I'd like to see more of this ;)

So long,

Spoon

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LiAM Newbie

LiAM

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Well I'll change it so you can only Tribute 2 Level 4 "Meister" monsters?

And you have to remove more than 1 monster in your Graveyard anyway. [color="#0000FF"]Removing 4 = a Level 4 removed from play[/color].

So you can't use this as a beatstick straight away.

Maybe I should give it an actual ATK? Even though I've seen this card's Effect before on lots of Level 7+'s, could be OP with the new effect.


[size="4"]WAIT[/size]

I'm going to change it.

[b]It gains 400 ATK for every "Meister" in your Graveyard.[/b]

[i]-So removing monsters will lower it's ATK by its own effect :P[/i]

[color="#FF0000"]Will that sort it?[/color]

And thanks [b]Spoon[/b], I thought Vergessenheit could be like its name, so would be like [i]Meister Aldo[/i], or [i]Meister Bob[/i]. XD

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Anbu-of-Sand Newbie

Anbu-of-Sand

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[quote name='LiAM' timestamp='1283461886' post='4593107']
[size="4"]WAIT[/size]

I'm going to change it.

[b]It gains [strike]400[/strike] 700 ATK for every "Meister" in your Graveyard.[/b]

[i]-So removing monsters will lower it's ATK by its own effect :P[/i]

[/quote]
Fix'd. Why 700 you may ask? Because for a Level 8, 400 per Meister is just...said. You can have 4 Meisters and what? A mere 1600 ATK for a Level 8. But if you change it to 700 per Meister, 4 Meisters would go a long way, making this a 2800 beater, matching up to a few of those 2800 Synchro's. This would be far more better than the current effect, and a bit more original, even if the concept has been used before in the TCG / YCM.

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LiAM Newbie

LiAM

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[quote name='.Kan' timestamp='1283462424' post='4593153']
You've made a better version of Maju Garzett. Uuuuuuh, I liked. Last effect could be something more interesting and powerful. This just seems under powered IMO. Seriously, removing from play 4 monster to destroy 1 Level 4 monster? No way.  
[/quote]

XD Well it is part of an Archtype :P

Support cards help :D

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Anbu-of-Sand Newbie

Anbu-of-Sand

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[color=blue][b]Meister Vergessenheit[/b][/color]

[b]Ratings (Updated):[/b]
OCG / Common Sense: 1.9/2
Effect / Originality: 3.5/4
Usefulness / Balance: 2.2/4
[b]Overall: 7.6/10[/b]

Yeah...the card is worse now. Your main point loss from the Usefulness / Balance. Why?

Well, seeing now it relies on the Graveyard to activate it's effect, it's hurting itself for each monster you remove from play, making this 600 ATK shorter for this card, making it from a huge 3000 beater, all of a sudden to a 2400 beater, which is far more easy to run over. It also becomes vulnerable to basic cards that are currently used such as D.D Crow and whatnot. Perhaps you can change it so it relies on something else than the Graveyard?
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LiAM Newbie

LiAM

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[quote name='Anbu-of-Sand' timestamp='1283462737' post='4593172']
[color=blue][b]Meister Vergessenheit[/b][/color]

[b]Ratings (Updated):[/b]
OCG / Common Sense: 1.9/2
Effect / Originality: 3.5/4
Usefulness / Balance: 2.2/4
[b]Overall: 7.6/10[/b]

Yeah...the card is worse now. Your main point loss from the Usefulness / Balance. Why?

Well, seeing now it relies on the Graveyard to activate it's effect, it's hurting itself for each monster you remove from play, making this 600 ATK shorter for this card, making it from a huge 3000 beater, all of a sudden to a 2400 beater, which is far more easy to run over. It also becomes vulnerable to basic cards that are currently used such as D.D Crow and whatnot. Perhaps you can change it so it relies on something else than the Graveyard?
[/quote]

Well like I said, it's an archtype in development. So sending monsters to the Graveyard to activate effects (like gain LP etc), then this can get stronger.
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Anbu-of-Sand Newbie

Anbu-of-Sand

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[quote name='Anbu-of-Sand' timestamp='1283462737' post='4593172']
[color=blue][b]Meister Vergessenheit[/b][/color]

[b]Ratings (Updated...again):[/b]
OCG / Common Sense: 1.9/2
Effect / Originality: 3.4/4
Usefulness / Balance: 3.2/4
[b]Overall: 7.6/10[/b]

[/quote]
Card is slightly better. Only reason you didn't get that .8 is this makes the monster 1200 ATK weaker, still hurtful for it. You also lost a tiny bit of originality as well. Maybe make that the monster gets removed from play? This is a tad more original than the classic destroy, and stops your opponent from using it for benefits if it would have been in the Graveyard. Or better yet, maybe a bouncing / spinning effect!
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Anbu-of-Sand Newbie

Anbu-of-Sand

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[quote name='Anbu-of-Sand' timestamp='1283462737' post='4593172']
[color=blue][b]Meister Vergessenheit[/b][/color]

[b]Ratings (Updated...again...and again):[/b]
OCG / Common Sense: 1.9/2
Effect / Originality: 3.6/4
Usefulness / Balance: 3.6/4
[b]Overall: 9.1/10[/b]
[/quote]

Even though I suggested to remove it from play, I was hoping you would make it a bounce / spin effect... xD
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LiAM Newbie

LiAM

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Oh right thanks for clearing that up.

Well I just wanted it to remove a monster, like for good,
rather than returning it to the deck or something XD

But for the effect as it is, it's simple enough and realistic enough to pass as real,
I don't want some long winded effect, I just want a set that's playable.
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