Sacrifice City

[Golden Loaf]

[center][img]http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/818/ygoss.png[/img][/center]




[size="3"]Hello everybody this is just a small project that I thought some of you may be interested in. Chapters should be uploaded on a fairly regular basis if all goes to plan. Many thanks, enjoy the fan fic! Without any further ado please read the teaser below and any chapters I may have posted since. [/size]








[spoiler=Teaser]

The man I called father once said that you can tell all you need to know about somebody from the way they duel and the cards that they use. He is probably right but I stopped thinking about what that bastard said when I turned fourteen; he sold my entire duel monsters collection and put my mother in hospital, some birthday present eh? Shattered hopes and dreams and losing both parents. Part of me doesn't really blame him for picking the easy way out of Sacrifice City, it's a hell of a place to live, of course the other ninety percent of me would break every bone in his body without contemplation. You know what they say, like father like son, why shouldn't I just become another violent criminal? I could steal and kill, the city wouldn't even notice. However this is not the path I have chosen, I will cleanse this city, become its saviour. In the six years of preparation I have had from when my dad left I have created a new deck from working below minimum wage every night. With my new found cards I will show this city's inhabitants the error of their ways, starting tomorrow, when I become twenty years old.

[color="#8B0000"][center][b]My name is Yamagati Phoenix and I swear to whatever sick gods put Sacrifice City in this situation that will find the few duellists who battle for the purposes of good in this hell hole and with their help I shall finally save this city![/b][/center][/color][/spoiler]

[Spoiler=Chapter 1]
Sacrifice city is run by crime, a crime ignored by the law and accepted by the masses. If you want to last ten seconds in a place like this you need to know three things: how to duel, how to fight and how to look the other way. Unfortunately for the filth that run this city I can only achieve the first two, for I shall die before I let this plague of injustice continue.

Yamagati let the words run through his mind over and over again on the morning he turned twenty years old, almost as if he was preparing a speech. However he was preparing more than a speech, talking had already failed this city. There is no use preaching to the damned. The only option left was action and that is exactly what Yamagati had been planning since his dad stole everything he owned and killed his mother. He got out of bed and the plain of ice that was once his floor shattered the nerves on his feet, he hadn't paid his heating bill again but it mattered not all he had to worry about was his main objective. He would set out today to find a team of duelists to help him cleanse Sacrifice city, this would be no easy task for the entire city had gone underground after the duel-gangs took over.

Once Yamagati was dressed he pressed quickly to the door of his shitty two room apartment and checked if he had everything he needed. He had his deck and his switch-blade, he was more than ready to roam the streets of the city. He put his duel-disk safely into his backpack which hung behind his long coat. He was dressed entirely in black, you never know when you'll have to stick to the shadows, with his unkempt rough hair falling crazily from beneath his tattered trilby. His shining blonde hair was the light in the darkness of his attire, and how appropriate it was, Yamagati chuckled to himself, that he would become the only light in the murky city of Sacrifice.

If Yamagati knew what would await him that day maybe he would have prepared more thoroughly, but he did not so he left his flat mortal to the danger that would surely await him.

[/spoiler]

[Golden Loaf]

chapter 1 bump.

[Golden Loaf]

BUMP

[Brinolovania]

[quote name='Golden Loaf' timestamp='1286222349' post='4679397']
Sacrifice city is run by crime, a crime ignored by the law and accepted by the masses. If you want to last ten seconds in a place like this you need to know three things: how to duel, how to fight and how to look the other way.
[color="#FF0000"]Why would you need to know how to Duel if everyone can fight? Why not just beat the crap out of people instead of challenging them to card games that you could easily lose?[/color]

Unfortunately for the filth that run this city I can only achieve the first two, for I shall die before I let this plague of injustice continue.
[color="#FF0000"]Gogogo dramatic statements.[/color]

Yamagati let the words run through his mind over and over again on the morning he turned twenty years old, almost as if he was preparing a speech.
[color="#FF0000"]This guy spends his time thinking about being a rightous hero guy? And talking about a "plague of injustice"? Does that even make sense?[/color]

However he was preparing more than a speech, talking had already failed this city.
[color="#FF0000"]As Dr. Cakey would say, you don't need that ZONE. You need a period and a new sentence. Or if you really want to, a semicolon.[/color]

There is no use preaching to the damned. The only option left was action and that is exactly what Yamagati had been planning since his dad stole everything he owned and killed his mother.
[color="#FF0000"]Take that comma from earlier, and put it after "action".[/color]

He got out of bed and the plain of ice that was once his floor shattered the nerves on his feet, he hadn't paid his heating bill again but it mattered not all he had to worry about was his main objective.
[color="#FF0000"]Comma after bed. Period and new sentence instead of that comma you have. Same after "mattered". And call me crazy, but it seems that freezing to death might not help the whole "MUST SAVE CITY" thing. [/color]

He would set out today to find a team of duelists to help him cleanse Sacrifice city, this would be no easy task for the entire city had gone underground after the duel-gangs took over.
[color="#FF0000"]...Why did you even mention fighting earlier, if all they do is play childrens games? Also, period and new sentence instead of comma. I will from now on abriviate that as PaNSIoC.[/color]

Once Yamagati was dressed he pressed quickly to the door of his shitty two room apartment and checked if he had everything he needed.
[color="#FF0000"]Take some of those unneeded commas, and stick them after "dressed" and "apartment".[/color]

He had his deck and his switch-blade, he was more than ready to roam the streets of the city.
[color="#FF0000"]Wait, a duel disk and a switch blade? I see whats happening here. This guy will challenge criminals to duels, but then murder them and steal all of their cards! CALLED IT.[/color]

He put his duel-disk safely into his backpack which hung behind his long coat. He was dressed entirely in black, you never know when you'll have to stick to the shadows, with his unkempt rough hair falling crazily from beneath his tattered trilby.
[color="#FF0000"]Tribly? Also, PaNSIoC after shadows.[/color]

His shining blonde hair was the light in the darkness of his attire, and how appropriate it was, Yamagati chuckled to himself, that he would become the only light in the murky city of Sacrifice.
[color="#FF0000"]PaNSIoC after "appropriate it was", and "himself". Remove "that" before "He would become..." And why does he assume nobody else in the entire city doesn't like it?[/color]

If Yamagati knew what would await him that day maybe he would have prepared more thoroughly, but he did not so he left his flat mortal to the danger that would surely await him.
[color="#FF0000"]PaNSIoC. Comma after "did not".[/color]

[/quote]
This is too short. And not too well proofread. So yeah.

[Golden Loaf]

You've obviously never seen the show if you can't grasp the idea that people like to duel. Remember this is a YuGiOh fanfic it's gonna have card games in it the entire Yugiverse is based around card games if you didn't notice.

I'm just going to ignore the pointless comments about how over the top the drama is, it's meant to be like that.

Yes it is riddled with grammatical errors but it was late and I was convinced no one would read it so I thought screw it I can't be bothered to proof read it. Again it's short because I didn't think anyone would actually read it.

Otherwise thanks for the feedback.

[Brinolovania]

You might as well proofread it, because if people do read it, they might actually like it. I mean, the concept isn't bad. And I have seen the show. It just doesn't make sense for them to both fight [i]and[/i] play card games...