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South Park Season 15 Episode 1: Battle of the Rock Bands (NOTE: PG-16, Course Language included)

Ghoulish

By Ghoulish
in Creative Writing

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Ghoulish Newbie

Ghoulish

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So I'm planning on making a season 15 type thing for South Park, tell me what you think, I probably failed but it seemed funny when writing it so hopefully it is when you read it lol. Anyway tell me where I can improve and when reading try to adopt the character's stupidity in terms of their actions into it especially Randy lol note: i haven't been through editing it much so i'll be looking through it later.

[b][i][size="5"]South Park Season 15[/size][/i][/b]



(episode inspired by a friends idea)
[spoiler= Episode 1: Battle of the Rock Bands]

[spoiler= Scene 1]
Stan sat down on his couch and turned on the TV.

“We now return to the government should do my Laundry! Starring Michael Moore!” The TV spoke as the show appeared to come from a commercial break.

On the TV Michael Moore was walking slowly up a chain of white stairs leading to the United States Capitol carrying a basket of clothes. Michael Moore was wearing glasses, had a white singlet on that didn’t cover his whole gut, had ¾ brown pants on and wore a green jacket that didn’t reach his waist along with a baseball cap.

His struggle could be seen through his sweat and panting as he slowly walked up the white steps occasionally using his hand to pull up the back of his pants.
Michael Moore turned to the camera to his right.

“We’re Going to get the gov-government to do...*pant pant*…My Laundry!” He stated with a confident tone. Upon reaching the last chain of 5 stairs a local security guard with short brown hair who wore a white collared shirt, black pants and a black tie stood at the top of the stairs. He watched as Michael Moore struggled and finally crawled to the top of the stairs.

Michael Moore was on his knees in front of the security guard who just looked on with confusion. Michael Moore grabbed his white laundry basket and slowly rose to his feet pulling up the back of his pants with his hand, he then after a short few second regained his composure.

“Um are you okay sir?” the security guard asked.

“Of course I’m fine! *pant pant* You think those mountain of stairs can keep me away?!” The camera zoomed out to reveal that there were only 10 steps.

“Um yea…is this like a TV show or something?” The security guard asked as he looked at the camera.

“Yes *pant pant* this is the government should do *pant pant* my laundry!”

“What do you mea-“ The security guard was then interrupted as Michael Moore threw a pair of boxers at him, the boxers landed on the man’s face causing him to drop to the floor and scream in pain.

“Brahbrahbrah!!! Ahhh, Ahhh!!!” (for refrence of scream refer to the global warming episode when the guy gets "caught" by Global warming and falls to the ground.)

“The government, will…do my laundry!” Moore called as he continued to walk with one fist clenched and risen in the air.

Stan Merely grunted at the show and was prepared to change the channel until a commercial came on.

“Do you love Guitar Hero?” The TV dictated, Stan instantly began thinking to himself.

“Guitar Hero?”

“Today is the first release day of Guitar Hero Rock Band on Xbox!”

“Rock band?” Stan questioned.

“You can play on the Drums, Guitar or even the Microphone! Start your own Rock Band today! Buy a copy!”

“Maybe I, no I can’t I put that in the past.” Stand stated to himself as he stood up and began pacing backwards and forward. The TV then caught his eye as a man with a microphone stood in front of an EB Games outlet in front of a row of lined up people leading into the shop.

“We’re here live at the opening sale day of Guitar Hero Rock Band! The game is the most anticipated of the year and is said to be a big hit! Let’s hear what some fans have to say.” The reporter then walked over to Butters who stood in the line and put the mike in front of him.

“So tell us little boy how do you feel being one of the first people to get Rock Band!” The reporter put an exaggerated tone in his voice on as he stated “Rock Band” and smiled.

“Oh, I’m pretty excited Maury, my friend Cartmen was the first one in line and said that he would buy the game for me with my money and give it to me later. O-O-Of course that
was a couple of hours ago but his probably just bargaining hard.”

“And there you have it folks! RRRRock Band is the game to have this year!”

Stan suddenly heard a knock on the door and turned the TV off. Stan walked to the door and opened it to see Cartmen holding a big black box with Rock Band written on it, the box covered his head and the top half of his body.

Cartman turned his body to the right so he can look at Stan. Cartmen was smiling as he stated.

“That’s right….Rock Band.” Stan looked on with a slight worry in his face. “Butters bought it for me the stupid a******. Token and Kenny are at my house now you coming?”

Stan turned around and replied. “I gave that up a long time ago, it was so long ago…I promised myself I wouldn’t ever play again.”

“Dude it was only a few months ago.” Cartmen stated with an emotionless tone.

“Was it!” Stan suddenly snapped walking up to Cartmen’s face. “1,000,000 Points and for what! To be called a f**! Besides Kyle wouldn’t play not after what happened.”

“What, dude f*** Kyle, Token’s black he’s a much better base player then Jew boy Kyle.”

Stan didn’t reply but just closed the door on Cartman’s face. Cartmen stood silently for a moment and stated.

“God I hate you Stan.” Cartmen then turned to his right and saw Wendy walking on the path. “Hey hey Wendy look what I got!” Cartmen called in a mocking tone as he walked side ways towards the shocked Wendy.

“What you have Rock Band?! Do you need a singer?”

Cartmen laughed. “You! Please we have a much better singer then you Wendy.”

“Oh yea who?!”

“Nobody! Hahaha!” Cartmen mocked as he then began laughing. Frustrated Wendy punched Cartmen’s nose.

“ARGH!” Cartmen called out in pain as he fell to the ground causing the Rock Band box to fall on him. Noticeably his nose was bleeding.
[/spoiler]

[spoiler= Scene 2]

Stan opened the door to his basement and walked down the stairs, it was dark, the room seemed to be plagued in darkness except for one long box that sat horizontally on the floor, it had a white sheet over it.

Stan walked to the box and took off the sheet, he then opened the box slowly and pulled out what appeared to be a Guitar controller. The controller was covered in brown dust. Stan blew the dust off and put the sash over his left shoulder and the right side of his abdomen, he then began strumming the small black lever like object and pressed the colour buttons with his other hand.

Stan’s eyes were closed as he played and hummed the tune of a song, although the only sound emitted was a soft “Tic tic tic tic tic” in rapid succession.

Stan stopped as he heard a loud knock on the basement door.

“Keep it down in there Stanley!” Noticeably it was Randy from outside holding a coffee mug and with a frustrated look on his face. As Sharon walked past the basement door Randy asked.

“Did you get Stan a guitar?”

“What?” Sharon asked causing randy to roll his eyes.

“You hear that?!” Randy questioned pointing to the basement door, although only a very very soft “Tic tic tic” could be heard.

“No.” Sharon stated.

“No what are yo-…wait a minute…if you didn’t buy him a guitar and I didn’t buy him a guitar and Nelson didn’t buy him a guitar.” A close up of Randy’s face would show the complete shock of a sudden realization. “Noh My God!” Randy dropped his coffee mug and ran for the basement door upon approaching Randy began banging his palms on the door.

“Stanley! Stanley open up!!!”

Sharon just looked on with embarrassment and anger. She turned around and began walking away. “Dammit Randy.”


**


Meanwhile at Cartmen’s house Token and Kenny sat on the couch, Cartmen walked in carrying the Rock Band box. He then put it on
the floor in front of the TV revealing his bandaged nose with red blood stains on it.

“Okay so are we ready to play?” Cartmen questioned.

“What happened to your nose?” Token asked causing Cartmen to get frustrated.

“You don’t need to worry about that Token you just focus on using your killer base skills.” Cartmen then took out the Drum set and the guitars. Cartmen then gave the guitars to Kenny and Token.

“You know maybe it doesn’t have to do with me being black maybe I’m just naturally talented.” Token suggested as Cartmen sat in front of Token and Kenny on the drums.

“Oh and I suppose Shaqs just Naturally tall or Chris Rock is just naturally funny or black people naturally love fried chicken! Grow up
Token.” Cartmen grabbed his two drum sticks and faced the TV. “Okay are we ready a one, two, three, fou-“ Suddenly Token wacked Cartmen over the head with the guitar controller.

“ARGH!” Cartmen called as he lay unconscious on the ground and Token merely walked past and out the house.

“Holy s*** dude!” Kenny called out in shock.


**


Meanwhile Stan sat on the bed in his room with Randy standing opposite to him with his arms folded. The guitar controller lay next to Stan on the bed.

“What were you thinking Stanley.” Randy asked with a discontent expression.

“Nothing dad I jus-“

“You just what! You remember what happened last time! And besides it isn’t even a real guitar!” Randy walked out of the room and quickly walked back in with an acoustic guitar, he was still discontent.

“Oh god no dad real-“

“You will sit here and listen to me play!” Randy snapped as he sat next to Stan and began strumming to the tune of We are the champions.

“We aaarreee the champeonsss!” Randy suddenly jumped off the bed and faced Stan. “No time for loooosers!” Randy then pointed to Stan. ”Cause we are the champeooons!”

“Dad that’s enough!” Stan snapped causing Randy to stop playing and look on in shock. “I can play Rock Band if I want to!”

Stan then walked out of the room walking passed the shocked Randy, Stan made his way down the stairs and to the front door, as soon as he opened it he heard Randy call from the top of the stairs.

“Go then!” Randy began in a comical way. “But don’t ever come back! You’ve made your choice now live with it!”

“N-Never come back?” Stan questioned.

“Don’t try to deny it! You think some band in a garage can make it to the top?! Then leave chase your worthless dreams!”

Stan didn’t reply but rather just walked out. Sharon at that moment walked into the room with her eyes rolled.

“Okay what did you do now.”

“Hey Sharon someone needs to bring that kid down to earth! He needs to know.” Randy sprints down the stairs with his acoustic guitar and with one fist clenched. “That dreams shouldn’t be chased.”

“Is this another one of things that you’re over exaggerating again, go and stop him before dinner.”

“No, No you’re right.” Randy confessed.

“Thankyou now go ge-“

“I need to challenge him! Start my own band and force him to realise that they don’t have what it takes!” Randy then ran out the house.

Sharon stood still and angry, “That’s not what I said at all!”

[/spoiler]

[spoiler= Scene 3]

Stan knocked on Cartmen’s door. Almost immediately Cartmen answered the door with a bandage on both his nose and one wrapped around the top of his head. Cartmen looked angry as stand began.

“Dude what happened to your face and your head?”

“…Never you mind Stan.” Replied a frustrated Cartmen. “Come on in the band’s just about ready.”

“Okay good.” Stan stated as the two walked into Cartmen’s house. “I’ve got to admit I’m glad you got me back into this Cartmen.”

“Yea well just be happy I’m the smart one of the two of us.”

As they walked into the lounge room Stan noticed that Token and Kenny weren’t there but rather an adult sitting at the drum set with long black hair and a long black jacket. Stan stopped and stared blankly at the man.

“Cartmen who the hell is that?”

“This Stan is Lars Ulrich from Metallica his going to help us in our band. You set Lars?”

Lars Ulrich simply nodded. Cartmen grabbed a guitar while Stan still remained in the same spot.

“The drummer for Metallica just randomly offers to play for us?”

“Yea so what?” Cartman questioned.

Stan continued to look on at Lars Ulrich who began sweating from his forehead.

“It just seems a little weird tha-“ Stan was then interrupted as Lars grabbed Cartmen’s guitar and jumped out of the nearest window running towards a black limo that stood on the side of the road.

Stan and Cartmen looked through the window with confusion as Lars continuously looked back panting and with a scared expression.

“GO GO GO!!!” could be heard from the limo as Lars jumped in, the limo then drove furiously off knocking over trash cans and hitting a nearby bystander.

Cartmen and Stan walked out of the house watching as the limo drove off.

“That stupid a****** took my Guitar!” Cartmen called in anger.

Stan turned to Cartmen, Cartmen immediately knew what Stan was thinking and replied.

“I didn’t want to resort to this…but what choice do I have.” His serious expression was kept as he continued. “Looks like we have to go see the king of all things evil and wrong with society."

“Wait, who the devil?”

“No, someone much much worse…” Cartmen said softly as he took out from his pocket a picture of Kyle smiling.


**


Meanwhile inside the limo Lars Ulrich sat on the red leather seat panting heavily and sweating, he sat next to 4 other people who noticeably were all from Metallica.

“Lars are you alright?” One of them asked, Lars was slow to reply then stated.

“Yea but that kid, he saw right through me, he saw past the good intentions and saw me for what I was…”

“Wow that’s some kid you’ve got there.” Another one of the 5 stated while facing forward revealing the red leather seat that sat parallel in the car to the seat Metallica were sitting on.

Noticably it was Randy wearing his normal clothes.

“Yes.” He began. “did you steal the guitar?”

Lars showed Randy the guitar controller. Randy took it and studied it closely.

“You fool!” randy snapped. “This isn’t Stan’s guitar! I knew I couldn’t trust Metallica!”

“We’re sorry Randy.” One of the Metallica members said as they all looked down.

“No, No it’s my fault I should have known better than to trust Metallica.” Randy held the guitar controller and pretended to play it however it could be noticed that he didn’t know what he was doing.

The soft, Tic…Tic….Tic, was both not frequent and didn’t seem to be in any kind of a tune. Randy closed his eyes and began humming we are the champions.

Metallica all looked at each other and blocked their ears.

[/spoiler]
[/spoiler]
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The True Ace Attorney Newbie

The True Ace Attorney

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Okay, firstly, this does have that typical South Park humour. So good job on getting that.

Secondly, Guitar Hero and Rock band are separate games and have even appeared in separate episodes. (Guitar Queer-o and Whale Whores).

Thirdly, Cartman already has Rock Band, as seen in Whale Whores, and doesn't seem to give a crap about Kyle playing it (Or about singing Poker Face, which was awesome and is actually in Rock Band).

Fourthly, I know it doesn't really matter, but if you get whacked with the guitar controller, unless you're holding the base area and hitting them with the base area, the neck will snap. I know this. One of my controllers lies snapped underneath my table...

Lastly, this is actually good. Carry on. Plez.

PS: Bass Guitars are spelt Bass not Base.
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Ghoulish Newbie

Ghoulish

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thx for the feedback, i knew that episode was going to come back and get me, that is one of the few episodes i didn't finish watching because half way through my computer froze and i just gave up having to load it, damn, is all i can really say, i didn't realize there was an episode with rock band already in it, as for the guitar hitting cartmens head, lol i think we can just not worry about that because it is just a show and many real life understandings don't apply, but i see what u mean thx for the feedback it is really appreciated :)

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