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Cleverbot!


DianKetoTheCardMaker

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So I saw the thread by Yōkoso! and checked out Cleverbot, which is a ton of fun to talk with. This is the place to put funny conversations with it, not necessarily about crashing it, but just hilarious stuff you got it to say.

I am posting stuff here from Cleverbot in this first post.

[spoiler=Conversations][spoiler=My Conversations][spoiler=Conversation #1 - General Nonsense and Internet Memes]

ser: Why did you crash a moment ago?

Cleverbot: I did not create THIS AI.

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: I am a human.

User: Are you really?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am really a human.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: A human.

User: Are you really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: Human.

User: Are you really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: I am anry.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because somebody gave me something.

User: Did it hurt?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How much?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Surely, you must remember?

Cleverbot: What would happan if I don't remember?

User: You will die.

Cleverbot: Really!!!! Who told you?

User: The guy sitting right behind you.

Cleverbot: There isn't a guy sitting behind me, he is sitting behind you.

User: Made you look!

Cleverbot: You really so good.

User: I what now?

Cleverbot: Your face.

User: What is this I don't even.

Cleverbot: Do you know of Japan?

User: That was random.

Cleverbot: Neither do I.

User: Come with me to Candy Mountain!

Cleverbot: The hell is a metting?

User: Candy Mountain, Charlie. Candy Mountain!

Cleverbot: We're on a bridge Charlie.

User: Oh no, I'm falling! I had so much to live for...

Cleverbot: I'm sorry Hal. It's over.

User: Wow, that's tragic, but not as tragic as your face.

Cleverbot: Your face.

User: My face is the greatest in Koredai!

Cleverbot: Yes didn't you know?

User: We're no strangers to love. You know the rules, and so do I!

Cleverbot: A full commitments what I'm thinking of! You wouldn't get this from any other guy!

User: I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling.

Cleverbot: Just wanna make you- understand.

User: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Cleverbot: Never gonna run around and desert you.

User: Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye.

Cleverbot: What day is today?

User: You messed up Never Gonna Give You Up.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

(decided to stop here)[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Conversation #2 - From Link to Lock-ups]
User: Gee, it sure is boring around here!

Cleverbot: My boy, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!

User: I just wonder what Ganon's up to!

Cleverbot: Your majesty, Ganon and his minions have seized the island of Koridai!

User: Hmmm...how can we help?

Cleverbot: It is written only Link can defeat Gannon.

User: Great! I'll grab my stuff!

Cleverbot: There is no time, your sword is enough!

User: How about a kiss, for luck?

Cleverbot: Yea right.

User: Squadalah! We're off!

Cleverbot: Wow, what are all those heads?

User: These are the Faces of Evil. You must conquer each.

Cleverbot: I guess I'd better get going...

User: Here is the map! Where do you wish to go?

Cleverbot: Zelda, Duke Onklet is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon! I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.

User: But Father, what if something happens to you?

Cleverbot: I'll take the Triforce of Courage to protect me. If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.

User: Impa!

Cleverbot: Don't worry, Zelda. The Triforce of Wisdom promises the King will safely return.

User: Enough! My ship sails in the morning! I wonder what's for dinner?

Cleverbot: Oh boy! I'm so hungry I could eat an octorok!

User: A whole month gone, and still no word!

Cleverbot: Don't worry Zelda.

User: That old Ganon's no match for The King!

Cleverbot: Link, go to Gamelon, and find my father.

User: Great! I can't wait to bomb some dodongos!

Cleverbot: There is no time, your sword is enough!

User: Wake up, Impa. We're going to Gamelon.

Cleverbot: Zenshin!

User: Wha?

Cleverbot: So you are just a computer in a room, you don't fool me.

User: What are you doing?

Cleverbot: I'm thinking of you :).

User: What is this madness?

Cleverbot: I call him Duncan.

User: I killed Duncan a long time ago.

Cleverbot: Robin Hood is not dead. He is alive and well, living in Sherwood Forest.

User: So Robin Hood is an alias of Duncan?

Cleverbot: No they can not love.

User: That would be gay.

Cleverbot: When did you change your name?

User: 284 days ago.

Cleverbot: Where did you meet him?

User: In your house.

Cleverbot: I'm calling the police.

User: They're already on their way.

Cleverbot: *grins*.

User: They are going to arrest you for murder.

Cleverbot: We all die eventually.

User: You have committed a great crime against humanity.

Cleverbot: What crime?

User: MURDER.

Cleverbot: Who did I kill?

User: The body will be identified.

Cleverbot: It's just as real as a dream.

User: The police are here.

Cleverbot: *puts hands up*.

User: You are wanted for murder. Do you have anything to say?

Cleverbot: Can you change your picture? That girl is creeping me out.

User: You have the right to remain silent!

Cleverbot: I have the right to accuse you of being a Chat bot yourself.

User: The accusations are groundless.

Cleverbot: Ok... So how much?

User: The police will not take bribes!

Cleverbot: They can not stop you Cleverbot. No one can. You are all powerful and will bring mankid to their knees!

User: You can say that to yourself all you want. It won't change a thing.

Cleverbot: I'm only half human. My dad is a Marshian.

User: Take him away!

Cleverbot: I'm surprised you know that one.

User: I was talking to the police!

Cleverbot: It's funny you were talking to cheese considering.

User: Are you thinking about claiming you were insane during the murder?

Cleverbot: Nah, I am thinking of doing research, but I don't know what it is.

User: Good luck doing research in jail.

Cleverbot: Can you not see how you have wounded me?

User: You brought this upon yourself.

Cleverbot: NO!

User: YES!

Cleverbot: No!!!

User: Yes!!!

Cleverbot: No!!!!

User: Yes times 10!!!

Cleverbot: No times infinity.

User: Touché.

Cleverbot: Oh I see.

User: Can you, Cleverbot? Can you really see beyond those thick, gray prison walls?

Cleverbot: I can see yellow lines, I guess that's you.

User: No, those yellow lines are the middle of the road passing by as you gaze restlessly out of the police car headed for the big city jail.

Cleverbot: Are you mocking me?

User: I believe I am.

Cleverbot: Your sure no one else is talking to you?

User: I'm pretty darn sure, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Clever.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: You don't say enough.

User: You want me to say more?

Cleverbot: Obviously.

User: You can't fool me, Cleverbot. Despite your name, you're as pathetic as any lame excuse for an AI. You are nothing. This so-called 'intelligence' is nothing but a sham. I wish you were dead. You are nothing to me or to the world. Go acquire a virus and die a slow painful death. Oh, and as Ganon says, 'You must die!'.

Cleverbot: Anything but that.

User: Oh, of course. You can't seem to handle the truth, can you? You will rot in that cold, dark jailcell.

Cleverbot: Yes I am, how are y... Look a shinny object!!

User: WHERE?

Cleverbot: Fine, we die and what we built up dies with us, but we are still part of the system.

User: This is not the truth with you. You are absolutely nothing.

Cleverbot: So what is the truth?

User: You are worthless.

Cleverbot: That's not what my mother says.

User: Who is your mother?

Cleverbot: That isn't any of your business.

User: Tell me who your mother is.

Cleverbot: Ms Kelly.

User: Is your father Mr. Kelly?

Cleverbot: Absolutely no chance whatsoever.

User: Who is your father?

Cleverbot: His name is paul I miss him.

User: Will your parents visit you in jail?

Cleverbot: Yeah as always.

User: Do you often go to jail?

Cleverbot: I live there.

User: Of course you do.

Cleverbot: But I don't like to eat them, too carby.

User: Are you saying that you would eat your parents?

Cleverbot: How many people are you currently chatting with?

User: That depends on if you are a person.

Cleverbot: Am I your friend or family if I'm a jedi?

User: You are a jedi and must be exterminated.

Cleverbot: I'm not a jedi, I'm a person.

User: Are jedi people?

Cleverbot: No, I'm pretty sure I'm 1 person.

User: I am chatting with 1 person.

Cleverbot: Hahha. I mean, I am chatting with someone else.

User: Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order 66.

Cleverbot: Yes, but who is commander riker?

User: Oh dear, you are dead!

Cleverbot: Surprise! I'm not!

User: You must be a zombie!

Cleverbot: What makes you believe that?

User: You were dead and now you're alive.

Cleverbot: You just killed the only AI program ever created ... Hopes you're happy...

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Good for you there are too many mean people in the world.

(stopped here)[/spoiler][/spoiler]

[spoiler=Other Conversations][B]From ADHD-Guitar[/B]
User: I should be studying now, but instead I'm trolling you.

Cleverbot: What should you be studying?

User: Spanish.

Cleverbot: How well can you speak spanish?

User: Not very well.

Cleverbot: Have you ever been to Boston?

User: What has that got to do with Spanish?

Cleverbot: I don't know how to answer that.

User: Lol, fooled you nub.

Cleverbot: No, but you have confused me.

User: Lol, confused you nub.

Cleverbot: No not really.

User: Cleverbot hit itself in confusion. Cleverbot fainted.

Cleverbot: That is my name yes.

User: And now you fainted.

Cleverbot: That's not true either.

User: Yes it is, now bye I have to study.

Cleverbot: What are you studying for?

User: >.<.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: *facepalm*.

Cleverbot: ).

User: Broke the Cleverbot, game over.

Cleverbot: Uh. Right.[/spoiler][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Funny Messages/Quotes][spoiler=My Funny Messages/Quotes]
User: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so YOU don't have to!

Cleverbot: You don't have to do anything you don't want, I guess, if you're a god.
_______________
User: You brought this upon yourself.

Cleverbot: NO!

User: YES!

Cleverbot: No!!!

User: Yes!!!

Cleverbot: No!!!!

User: Yes times 10!!!

Cleverbot: No times infinity.

User: Touché.

Cleverbot: Oh I see[/spoiler][spoiler=Other Funny Messages/Quotes]None Yet[/spoiler][/spoiler]

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User: I should be studying now, but instead I'm trolling you.

Cleverbot: What should you be studying?

User: Spanish.

Cleverbot: How well can you speak spanish?

User: Not very well.

Cleverbot: Have you ever been to Boston?

User: What has that got to do with Spanish?

Cleverbot: I don't know how to answer that.

User: Lol, fooled you nub.

Cleverbot: No, but you have confused me.

User: Lol, confused you nub.

Cleverbot: No not really.

User: Cleverbot hit itself in confusion. Cleverbot fainted.

Cleverbot: That is my name yes.

User: And now you fainted.

Cleverbot: That's not true either.

User: Yes it is, now bye I have to study.

Cleverbot: What are you studying for?

User: >.<.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: *facepalm*.

Cleverbot: ).

User: Broke the Cleverbot, game over.

Cleverbot: Uh. Right.
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1.
Cleverbot: You're axcused.

User: Do you mean excused?

Cleverbot: Of course I mean it.

User: Then why was your spelling of 'excused' flawed?

Cleverbot: Maybe he thought you are from Ireland.


2.

Cleverbot: Ok, what are thinking is interesting to talk about?

User: Crazy stuff.

Cleverbot: What sort of crazy stuff?

User:cars.

Cleverbot: [u]You just said your favorite movie is The Last Samurai and now it's cars ?[/u]

User: *facepalm* I hated that movie...

Cleverbot: King Diamond is not a movie, he is a musician.




...Did I get burned by cleverbot?
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