My Ancient Deck

[Chancellor]

Hi, this is my first shot at creating a deck, and i was wondering whether you could rate it please.


[b][u]Monsters[/u][/b]

[img]http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/5367/305640.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/5367/305640.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/5367/305640.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/5367/305640.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/5367/305640.jpg[/img]

[b][u]Spells and Traps [/u][/b]

[img]http://img577.imageshack.us/img577/5367/305640.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/8985/305640n.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/5367/305640.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/5367/305640.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img600.imageshack.us/img600/5367/305640.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/5367/305640.jpg[/img]

This is only the first part of the deck, the rest will come at a latter date
I would appreciate any advice to be given.
thanks

[lewis atherton]

most of the cards are ok but warrior is far too overpowered lv 4 2000 atc points and helpful ability that is just not realistic though the picture is good the ritual paladin is so so much overpowered. lose the last effect completely and bring some type of cost into it such as pay 500 Life points everytime this card is in efense position. Also paladins light it far to strong just lose the last effect and keep it as a basic ritual spell card.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Interesting, will give a quick review of each card, this will take a moment:

Lupine Swordsman: Cool name, picture and concept. Effect should read something like 'When this card destroys a monster by battle, you can add 1 'Ancient' monster from your Graveyard to your hand'.

Lupine Shaman - Vanilla is boring. You'd think a Shaman would have some cool magical ability.

Wandering Warlord - Why have we suddenly gone to a DARK-Machine? Stats are quite high for a Lv5.

Defender of Light - This + Staunch Defender = Win. Stats are way too high for a Ritual and effect is not that great. OCG got most of Standard Ritual Print but forgot the Star Tribute bit needs to be on monster as well as Spell.

Shadow Assailant - Think this one is pretty fine actually, could be argued it's similar to Lupine Swordsman but with an Archtype Set I don't think that's a problem.

Paladin's Horizon - Ritual Spell with additional effect is always inventive.

Chain Breaker - Good card, although why it's in this set is a mystery until you release Fusion Monsters (you obviously intend to right?) OCG: 'Negate an attack on a Fusion monster you control. Return the Fusion monster to your Extra Deck, then, if the Fusion Material monsters used to summon this monster exist in your Graveyard, Special Summon them from your Graveyard to the field'. After all there may be more than two materials, and they may have been removed from play by Dragon Mirror, Miracle Fusion, etc.

Equilibriam - Should be made to work both ways.

Phoenix Rebirth - Probably overpowered (OPd). OCG: 'Tribute 1 Level 4 or lower monster on your side of the field. Then Special Summon 1 Level 5 or higher monster from your Graveyard in Attack Position.'

Restricting Chains - Poor man's Shadow Spell. Not liking the immunity to destruction.

Temple of the Ancients - 1500 ATK boost, really? Name and pic are cool though.


Overall as an archtype - Think there is potential here, although there should be more consistency in regards a shared name (Ancient Beast) and Attribute (probably EARTH).

Bit hit and miss but not bad for a new member. Hope I've helped.

[Jack of All Spades]

Wandering Warlord looks like a picture I was going to use...
Not bad pictures, some cards don't make a whole lot of sense (Why isn't Warlord a Warrior rather than Machine?)
8.9/10

[Chancellor]

[quote name='Matt Bahamut' timestamp='1289334473' post='4774218']
Interesting, will give a quick review of each card, this will take a moment:

Lupine Swordsman: Cool name, picture and concept. Effect should read something like 'When this card destroys a monster by battle, you can add 1 'Ancient' monster from your Graveyard to your hand'.

Lupine Shaman - Vanilla is boring. You'd think a Shaman would have some cool magical ability.

Wandering Warlord - Why have we suddenly gone to a DARK-Machine? Stats are quite high for a Lv5.

Defender of Light - This + Staunch Defender = Win. Stats are way too high for a Ritual and effect is not that great. OCG got most of Standard Ritual Print but forgot the Star Tribute bit needs to be on monster as well as Spell.

Shadow Assailant - Think this one is pretty fine actually, could be argued it's similar to Lupine Swordsman but with an Archtype Set I don't think that's a problem.

Paladin's Horizon - Ritual Spell with additional effect is always inventive.

Chain Breaker - Good card, although why it's in this set is a mystery until you release Fusion Monsters (you obviously intend to right?) OCG: 'Negate an attack on a Fusion monster you control. Return the Fusion monster to your Extra Deck, then, if the Fusion Material monsters used to summon this monster exist in your Graveyard, Special Summon them from your Graveyard to the field'. After all there may be more than two materials, and they may have been removed from play by Dragon Mirror, Miracle Fusion, etc.

Equilibriam - Should be made to work both ways.

Phoenix Rebirth - Probably overpowered (OPd). OCG: 'Tribute 1 Level 4 or lower monster on your side of the field. Then Special Summon 1 Level 5 or higher monster from your Graveyard in Attack Position.'

Restricting Chains - Poor man's Shadow Spell. Not liking the immunity to destruction.

Temple of the Ancients - 1500 ATK boost, really? Name and pic are cool though.


Overall as an archtype - Think there is potential here, although there should be more consistency in regards a shared name (Ancient Beast) and Attribute (probably EARTH).

Bit hit and miss but not bad for a new member. Hope I've helped.
[/quote]

Thanks a lot, you really helped. The only reason i had the Shaman as a vanilla was to break up the effect monster repetition. Also, i have a few fusion monsters in the works, and possibly a tuner monster. They will be released with the revised copy of the deck. Finally, the reason i used the 'Ancient' archetype, was because i could not successfully make an Ancient Beast fusion card.

[Ярополк Пономарёв]

interesting

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Glad I could help.

Yeah I guess Vanilla's are okay in large sets as a bit of a break, it's nice if you can do really good flavour text. Originally Normal Monsters were supposed to be naturally stronger than Effect Monsters in terms of ATK and DEF, but that's kinda gone now. I just thought a 'Shaman' would be more befitting an Effect Monster than a Soldier/Warrior. That's just my approach to cardmaking though.

As an archtype, I'd still suggest greater consistency regarding a name, it's ok if they are made up of multiple types just need to be able to benefit from more specific support/field Spells, look at Naturia they have Rocks, Insects, Beasts and a Dragon. As just 'Ancients', lots of other existing cards could unintentionally benefit (not that I can think of any existing monsters with 'Ancient' in their name right now). Ancient Beasts does sound a cool name.

Look forward to future cards.

Ps Anger Level - don't 1 word post.

[Chancellor]

[quote name='Matt Bahamut' timestamp='1289337114' post='4774299']
Glad I could help.

Yeah I guess Vanilla's are okay in large sets as a bit of a break, it's nice if you can do really good flavour text. Originally Normal Monsters were supposed to be naturally stronger than Effect Monsters in terms of ATK and DEF, but that's kinda gone now. I just thought a 'Shaman' would be more befitting an Effect Monster than a Soldier/Warrior. That's just my approach to cardmaking though.

As an archtype, I'd still suggest greater consistency regarding a name, it's ok if they are made up of multiple types just need to be able to benefit from more specific support/field Spells, look at Naturia they have Rocks, Insects, Beasts and a Dragon. As just 'Ancients', lots of other existing cards could unintentionally benefit (not that I can think of any existing monsters with 'Ancient' in their name right now). Ancient Beasts does sound a cool name.

Look forward to future cards.

Ps Anger Level - don't 1 word post.
[/quote]

I would use the Ancient Beast name, but the i would have to get rid of quite a few cards such as my Paladin and my Assailant. If you could help me come up with a way round this i would be much obliged.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Sure.

Wouldn't be to worried about losing Paladin, but you can keep Assailant with just a quick picture change to some beast-warrior - like a Panther or something. It's an idea to keep a set themed anyway, so I wouldn't throw in a Ritual for the sake of it, maybe a lower level support Ritual would be more benefical than a boss card (see Paladin of White Dragon).

Speaking of pictures, have a look at the Image Archives in the Showcase section of this forum, check out pics by HP Doom, Father Wolf, Hunduel and Wanderley. There is Jazin Kay as well who has the biggest archive, you have to find his profile though. You're welcome to use their pics as long as you say you're using them in your posts/signiture.

As I was saying with the Naturia, you could still use Beast as a loose definition, just enough to link all the cards together but still giving you a lot of play with monsters and types.