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Dusk Archfiend

snowyash

By snowyash
in Realistic Cards

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snowyash Newbie

snowyash

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This is probably the longest effect I've put on a card so far, so I'm looking to see if I've gone wrong anywhere.

[IMG]http://i56.tinypic.com/sb67bm.jpg[/IMG]
[b]Lore:[/b]
If "Pandemonium" is on your side of the field, this card can be Tribute Summoned using only 1 Tribute. The controller of this card pays 500 Life Points during each of his/her Standby Phases (this is not optional). During battle between this attacking card and a Defense Position monster whose DEF is lower than the ATK of this card, inflict the difference as Battle Damage to your opponent. If this card attacks a face-up Attack Position monster, the targeted monster is switched to Defence Position.

What do you think?

So far, I think there's one OP'd thing about it.
Can anyone take a guess?
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Bahamut - Envoy of the End Newbie

Bahamut - Envoy of the End

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Never been big on Archfiends, so bit unsure about OCG, but it seems fine apart from the first sentence needs the 'you' deleting. Just a typo.

Pic and name don't fit together, but then again I really don't like the pic personally, there are a lot better out there.

I don't think this is OPd at all. The way the effects work in combination and flow is actually good, so wouldn't change it too much.
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snowyash Newbie

snowyash

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[quote name='Matt Bahamut' timestamp='1289922239' post='4789040']
Never been big on Archfiends, so bit unsure about OCG, but it seems fine apart from the first sentence needs the 'you' deleting. Just a typo.

[b]Fixed.[/b]

Pic and name don't fit together, but then again I really don't like the pic personally, there are a lot better out there.

[b]I already had the name in mind, I just picked the first picture that seemed half-decent.[/b]

I don't think this is OPd at all. The way the effects work in combination and flow is actually good, so wouldn't change it too much.
[/quote]

I'm not so fond of Archfiends either, it's just an idea I had.
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snowyash Newbie

snowyash

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[quote name='lewis atherton' timestamp='1289923577' post='4789068']
I think the picture is a little over used, now i have seen it sooo much recently. I also agree that the pic and name dont flow. I think the effect is ok a twist on ssomething very fermiliar. But cant pick out too much wrong with it other then that. I think 7/10 is fair but it needs to be more creative
[/quote]

7/10 because the name and pic don't match?

I'll go find a new one if it's that important.
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snowyash Newbie

snowyash

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[quote name='lewis atherton' timestamp='1289923859' post='4789080']
no its not the pic not matching its just not all that creative either i can see what you have gone for but i just dont like the effect really.
[/quote]

Pic's changed. I can handle criticism, but I prefer constructive criticism. So, is there anything you'd recommend for the effect?
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snowyash Newbie

snowyash

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[quote name='lewis atherton' timestamp='1289925774' post='4789133']
right it looks much better now the name fits with effect. I would completely change the effect and go with something original perhaps mentioning flip effect destruction or a die something less comonly used. Also as the name is dusk perhaps a cleche idea but you may wanna make a Dawn Archfiend
[/quote]

1. Flip Effect destruction isn't too great. Not many people use flip monsters at all, so I don't see the point.
2. Most of the Archfiends have die effects anyway. I was planning for something different.
3. Dawn Archfiend? I'm not sure that a set of demonlike creatures should include a monster with Dawn in it's name.
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