Armored Abyss (1st Card)

[Rickles]

Here is my first card I call it armored abyss. And I know the image isn't good but its one I just found on google. Enjoy and tell me what you think.

[img]http://img130.imageshack.us/img130/5581/319402.jpg[/img]

Lore:
If this monster is destroyed in battle, you take no damage. At the end of damage calculation, this card is Special Summoned in face-up Defense Position. When this card is Special Summoned by this effect lower its DEFF by 500 . If it is destroyed a second time in battle deduct 2000 life points and negate and spell trap or monster effects negating this effect.

Thanks for the help so far! What do you guys think of it now (Other then the picture)

[Face McShooty]

if you created the card here, go to the card maker, bring up your card, click the card, copy the [IMG] code that pops up under it and paste it in your original post

[Rickles]

sweet man thanks. so what do you guys think?

[A.Prime]

Well...1st of all wellcome to YCMaker.

Now about your card.
1.Your pic has words, that's bad.
2.your pic has no background that's 2nd bad.
3.When you post cards with long effects the words are to small so no-one can read them. (So you must post the Lore of the effect under the card.)

I'll tell you more when you post the effect.

[Rickles]

alright thanks for the feedback, nd yeah i kno the pic is horrid and ok will do but i didnt think the effect was that small?

Effect:
If this monster is destroyed in battle take no life point loss. At the end of damage calculation it is special summoned in face up defense position with a loss of 500 defense. If it is destroyed a second time if there is any life point damage increase the damage done by 500 and remove this card from play

[A.Prime]

NO you're right...it's not that small, but it's easyer to correct it that way.

Lore:
If this monster is destroyed in battle[b], you[/b] take no [b]damage[/b]. At the end of damage calculation[b], this card is S[/b]pecial[b] S[/b]ummoned in face[b]-[/b]up [b]D[/b]efense[b] P[/b]osition[b].[/b] [b]When this card is Special Summoned by this effect lower its DEFF by 500 [/b]. [i]If it is destroyed a second time if there is any [b]L[/b]ife [b]P[/b]oint damage increase the damage done by 500 and remove this card from play [/i] <------This part is wrong, I'm sure of it, but I don't know how to correct it.

One question: As you said, when this card is destroyed you cannot take damage, HOW it's posible to take damage the 2nd time??

[Rickles]

Lol I guess I didnt think that through, ill either correct it to say you take so and so battle damage the second time it is destroyed in duel, or the second time it is destroyed in duel the first part of the effect is null and void, either way what do you guys think I should make it say?