beefman Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 Okay, here are some cards I decided to make. Tell me about improvements to be made. [img]http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/8066/226908s.jpg[/img] Lore: If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, discard the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. During the End Phase that this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, you can tribute this card to Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV6" from your hand or Deck. [img]http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/4491/226908.jpg[/img] Lore: If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, discard the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. If that card was a Monster Card, inflict 500 points of Direct Damage to your opponent. During the End Phase that this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, you can tribute this card to Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV8" from your hand or Deck. [img]http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/9417/226908fv.jpg[/img] Lore: This card can not be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by the effect of "Mecha-Warrior LV6". If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, discard the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. If that card was a Monster Card, inflict 700 points of Direct Damage to your opponent. During the End Phase that this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, you can tribute this card to Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV10" from your hand or Deck. [img]http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/7528/226908q.jpg[/img] Lore: This card can not be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned with the effect of "Mecha-Warrior LV8". If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, discard the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. If that card was a Monster Card, inflict 1000 points of Direct Damage to your opponent. When this card is sent to the Graveyard, you can add it to your hand during your next Draw Phase instead of conducting your normal draw. C'mon, someone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smesh Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 The discard a card and inflict x damage if it's a monster is too situational. I like the idea, but it doesnt seem worth putting in a Deck if you just inflict 200-300 more damage for each monster. I'd keep with the discarding thing, but I'd tweak the effects away from burning, or provide a stronger burn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefman Posted December 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 [quote name='Smesh' timestamp='1292086271' post='4844429'] The discard a card and inflict x damage if it's a monster is too situational. I like the idea, but it doesnt seem worth putting in a Deck if you just inflict 200-300 more damage for each monster. I'd keep with the discarding thing, but I'd tweak the effects away from burning, or provide a stronger burn. [/quote] Well, it DOES get stronger at each level. Thanks, though, but I'm going to keep them how they are. And a rating out of 10...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexadin Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 [center]Ok lets do a good review. [b]LV 4[/b] OCG fix: "[i]discard[/i]" = "[i]send[/i]" "[i]During the End Phase that this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, you can tribute this card to Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV6" from your hand or Deck.[/i]" = "During the End Phase after this card destroys a monster by battle, by sending this card to the Graveyard, Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV6" from your hand or Deck." Beside those errors actually quite good job. [b]LV 6[/b] I would have switched its im with that of LV 8, idk it just looks better imo. OCG fix: "[i]If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, [s]discard[/s][b]send[/b] the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. If that card was a Monster Card, inflict 500 [s]points of Direct D[/s] [b]d[/b]amage to your opponent. [s]During the End Phase that this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, you can tribute this card to Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV8" from your hand or Deck.[/s] [b]During your next End Phase after this card destroys a monster by battle, by sending this card to the Graveyard, Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV8" from your hand or Deck.[/b][/i]" Mhh, looks fine, though I would have added to the restictions that Dark Lucius series also had to it. [b]LV 8[/b] Same thing as above about the img. OCG fix: This card can not be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by the effect of "Mecha-Warrior LV6". If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, [s]discard[/s][b]send[/b] the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. If that card was a Monster Card, inflict 700 [s]points of Direct D[/s] [b]d[/b]amage to your opponent. [s]During the End Phase that this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, you can tribute this card to Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV10" from your hand or Deck.[/s] [b]During your next Standby Phase after this card destroys a monster by battle, by sending this card to the Graveyard, Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV10" from your hand or Deck.[/b] Personally I would ditch that last effect and give LV10 a special cluase to Special Summon itself by Tributing LV8. [b]LV10[/b] I still feel the same about the clause from above. OCG fix: This card can not be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned [s]with[/s] [b]by [/b]the effect of "Mecha-Warrior LV8". If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, [s]discard[/s] [b]send[/b] the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. If that card was a Monster Card, inflict 1000 [s]points of Direct D[/s][b]d[/b]amage to your opponent. When this card is sent to the Graveyard, you can add it to your hand during your next Draw Phase instead of conducting your normal draw. Well imo the return power is somwhat OP. But ok. Overal an averige LV monster set. A 7/10 [/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sаmurai Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 The lores could be more creative, try to make the lore relate to the card as much as possible, if you get where I'm coming from, that's all I've got for now. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefman Posted December 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 [quote name='Sаmurai' timestamp='1292088100' post='4844505'] The lores could be more creative, try to make the lore relate to the card as much as possible, if you get where I'm coming from, that's all I've got for now. ;D [/quote] If I did, the text would be tiny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sаmurai Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 [quote name='Sanphred' timestamp='1292091099' post='4844603'] If I did, the text would be tiny [/quote] Buddy, that's why you use creative lores and then copy and paste the text outside of the card. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwebs1 Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 I don't have time to review OCG and stuff, but LV10 should be... well, Level 10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
War Chess Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 I think they are awesome. The only minor OCG error is that u didn't write Tribute with capital letter. What I thought that was weired, the fact the cards destroy monsters by battle means it will destroy a monster card. So why say If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, discard the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. If that card was a Monster Card, inflict (x) points of Direct Damage to your opponent. ? The atworks are really great, they match each other as the same monster but in different levels. I would anly change the "This card can color="#0000FF"]only[[/color] be Special Summoned..." to"This card cannot be Special Summoned except by..." 8.5/10 Congratulations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefman Posted December 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 [quote name='starwebs1' timestamp='1292091918' post='4844625'] I don't have time to review OCG and stuff, but LV10 should be... well, Level 10. [/quote] DARN IT you're right[quote name='Lexadin' timestamp='1292087550' post='4844492'] [center]Ok lets do a good review. [b]LV 4[/b] OCG fix: "[i]discard[/i]" = "[i]send[/i]" "[i]During the End Phase that this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, you can tribute this card to Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV6" from your hand or Deck.[/i]" = "During the End Phase after this card destroys a monster by battle, by sending this card to the Graveyard, Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV6" from your hand or Deck." Beside those errors actually quite good job. [b]LV 6[/b] I would have switched its im with that of LV 8, idk it just looks better imo. OCG fix: "[i]If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, [s]discard[/s][b]send[/b] the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. If that card was a Monster Card, inflict 500 [s]points of Direct D[/s] [b]d[/b]amage to your opponent. [s]During the End Phase that this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, you can tribute this card to Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV8" from your hand or Deck.[/s] [b]During your next End Phase after this card destroys a monster by battle, by sending this card to the Graveyard, Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV8" from your hand or Deck.[/b][/i]" Mhh, looks fine, though I would have added to the restictions that Dark Lucius series also had to it. [b]LV 8[/b] Same thing as above about the img. OCG fix: This card can not be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by the effect of "Mecha-Warrior LV6". If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, [s]discard[/s][b]send[/b] the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. If that card was a Monster Card, inflict 700 [s]points of Direct D[/s] [b]d[/b]amage to your opponent. [s]During the End Phase that this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, you can tribute this card to Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV10" from your hand or Deck.[/s] [b]During your next Standby Phase after this card destroys a monster by battle, by sending this card to the Graveyard, Special Summon 1 "Mecha-Warrior LV10" from your hand or Deck.[/b] Personally I would ditch that last effect and give LV10 a special cluase to Special Summon itself by Tributing LV8. [b]LV10[/b] I still feel the same about the clause from above. OCG fix: This card can not be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned [s]with[/s] [b]by [/b]the effect of "Mecha-Warrior LV8". If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle, [s]discard[/s] [b]send[/b] the top card of your opponent's Deck to the Graveyard. If that card was a Monster Card, inflict 1000 [s]points of Direct D[/s][b]d[/b]amage to your opponent. When this card is sent to the Graveyard, you can add it to your hand during your next Draw Phase instead of conducting your normal draw. Well imo the return power is somwhat OP. But ok. Overal an averige LV monster set. A 7/10 [/center] [/quote] For the Standby Phase thing, it was meant to be End Phase. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smesh Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 [quote name='Sanphred' timestamp='1292086583' post='4844441'] Well, it DOES get stronger at each level. Thanks, though, but I'm going to keep them how they are. And a rating out of 10...? [/quote] Oh my, higher ATK. I don't really rate, because if I were to honestly rate this it'd be. 3-4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Ea Posted December 12, 2010 Report Share Posted December 12, 2010 The lores could be more creative and I really can't see Mecha Warrior Lv. 8 evolving into that totally awesome Mecha Warrior Lv.10. So Im going to give it a 7/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefman Posted December 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2010 [quote name='Ace Ea' timestamp='1292114598' post='4845414'] The lores could be more creative and I really can't see Mecha Warrior Lv. 8 evolving into that totally awesome Mecha Warrior Lv.10. So Im going to give it a 7/10 [/quote] Thanks anyways Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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