First card made in a long, long, loooong time! Please help me remember how to make cards correctly!

[FeralSnake]

Here you go, a card that I know holds many errors, but I can't remember how to fix them. Making cards is not like riding a bike at all!


[center][img]http://img820.imageshack.us/img820/4936/100608f.jpg[/img][/center]
[center][b]Lore:[/b]
This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 3 "Lerois" cards you control. When this card is successfully Special Summoned you can search your deck for 1 "Maerlyn, Arthur's Adviser" and add it to your hand, Your Deck is then shuffled. When this card is in face-up Attack Position all "Leoris" cards you control gain 500 ATK points. This card cannot be equipped with Equip Spell cards.[/center]

[.:Black Rose:.]

OCG errors: ...and add it to your hand[b]. Your D[/b]eck is then shuffled... ...face-up [b]A[/b]ttack [b]P[/b]osition... ...cannot be equipped with [b]E[/b]quip [b]S[/b]pell cards...
Other than that, the card is fine. 8/10

[FeralSnake]

Huh. Really? I was expecting someone to tear my card apart. Thanks for that I'll go correct it and post the corrected version.

[Ace Ea]

Bit too over powered 9/10

[FeralSnake]

How exactly is it overpowered? You didn't really offer any advice.

[.Ash]

Okay, I may have to rip a little.

1. Why the reference to cards we don't know about? How are we supposed to accurately judge a card if we have no idea what it can actually do?

2. All other card reference's aside, what's with the Equip lock? Warrior's thrive on Equip support, blocking them off makes no sense.

3. The effect seems like it's just been thrown together. 3 tribute SS, searcher, ATK gain and equip lock.

I'm assuming this card boosts itself, what with "Leoris" in it's name. This makes it a 3700 ATK monster as soon as it is summoned, + searching another card. I have no idea what any other "Leoris" cards are, or "Maerlyn" is capable of. It's possible to assume that this card is a OTK, but again, I have no idea what the other mentioned cards are capable of.

The card is almost impossible to rate, but I'll give it a 6/10 for a SS'd monster with 3700 ATK off the bat that has Honest support. OP'd at the moment.

[FeralSnake]

The Equip lock was meant to be a downside, albeit a very bad one. I did forget to add the "with the exception of this card" portion to the attack bonus, but this card is meant mainly as support for the archetype, as many of the "Leoris" cards are weak.
I understand your confusion, but I'm posting the set now.

[Max.]

It's Fine, all of the changes I could think of are up already. 7.5/10

[FeralSnake]

What does OTK and SS mean. I was gone for a long time. SS is Special Summon right?

[.Ash]

OTK=One Turn Kill
SS= Special Summon

[Sweetie Belle]

[color="#0000FF"][b]Arthur, King of the Leoris[/b][/color]
I dun know what the Leoris are. Are they new? Are they custom?
According to his effect, he's a 3700 ATK beater. Nice. The Equip Lock isn't really fitting as a drawback. Maybe it should be all [i]other[/i] "Leoris" monsters you control, etc. Other than that, there's not much wrong. I haven't seen cards based off of the Arthur saga. I like it. Oh, and the "points" after ATK shouldn't be there.
Originality: 9/10
Image: 4/5
OCG: 23/25
Playability: 6/10
[b]Total:[/b] 42/50, or 84%