Joey Miles Posted December 14, 2010 Report Share Posted December 14, 2010 For all of you who are about to read this i want you to know that there is a very happy tone to this poem despite the words i have chosen to express my feelings. if you can find out why its happy i might just tell you what its about that is if anyone care to find out lol and i am so sorry but my friend just pointed out to me that the happy tone wasnt there i forgot the last 3 lines my bad. My life is falling apart around me It feels like im falling through air The feeling of love that was once around me Has finaly disipared The world is spirning round and round Why wont it just STOP! Why must these two forces around me Tumble, turn non-stop My heart is aching My sight is faking I wish the sound would go too For the picture of my life is burning through and through It seems my heart cant take it Im to soft i cant make it while the world keeps spining round I'm trying to get rid of the sound Rumble rumble all around There finaly goes the sound The earth is gone my heart is too And its all because of the sad truth My heart is aching My sight is faking The sound has finaly left For the picture of my life is burning and i cant tell if im being blessed Falling falling falling down There's darkness all around For the picture of my life has burned Now theres ashes on the ground Tumble tumble tumble down Can i turn my life around or will i keep falling down Into this darkness all around Why did this truth bring us all down Will i be able to turn this around Will i be able to bring back the sound And was my world truely upside down please review Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrabHelmet Posted December 14, 2010 Report Share Posted December 14, 2010 It's generic emo teen nonsense with no positive qualities to make it stand out and atrocious spelling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Miles Posted December 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2010 one im dislexic with no spell checker at the moment dont start with the spelling please. as for the emo thing. im actually not emo and im quiet pleased with my life this is actually talking about something quiet happy if you can catch it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ярополк Пономарёв Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 It seems to be very sad and dreary based on my point of view. It's still a very nice poem that I can't quite figure out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Miles Posted December 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 thank you for the comment even if you are a butt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Blue Posted December 22, 2010 Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 If you're going for the whole 'Emo/depressed' thing then I suggest putting in there somewhere; "my heart has been raped." ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted December 23, 2010 Report Share Posted December 23, 2010 It's pretty nice, but I admit, it just made my night dreary. Make the ending be more light, otherwise it makes you want to suicide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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