A journey begins chapter 4 is up

[TheDarkKingBringerOfDark]

[spoiler=First chapter wich pokemon will i choose]

First Chapter

Diiiiiiiiiiiiiing Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

''Huh what is that o its the alarm'' Derrick reaches to turn it off and starts to get ready.

''Derrick i'm leaving now to my job are you gonna be all right sweety?'' Derrick's mom asked

''Yes, mom i'll be alright i'm leaving anyway to professor Pines lab to pick my first pokemon!'' Derrick exclaimed

''All right honey see you when you come back.'' ''All right mom.''

''All right it's finally time when i get my first pokemon and start my journey to become the greatest pokemon master in the world.''

Derrick looks at his watch and it marked ten thirty

"Oh no i'm late it's ten thirty i had to be there at ten!''

finally Derrick runs out of the house and starts running toward the lab.

[font="Book Antiqua"]At Professor Pine's Lab[/font]

Huff huff huff ''Did i make it in time professor Pine?''

''Actually you did but i only have one pokemon left.''

''[font="Arial Black"][/font]Why!'' Exclaimed Derrick ''If you said so yourself i'm on time.''

''Yea you were but your long tome rival Lewis Grandon made it first and your other rival Brian Matthews made after him so i only have one pokemon left and thats likkigago the electric fighting type.''

''Awesome its the pokemon i wanted i'll take it!''

''Ok Derrick heres likkigago's pokeball and here's your pokedex and five pokeballs.''

''Thanks Professor Pine i promise i will become the best partner likkigago ever had and i will become the best pokemon master in the world!'' said Derrick excitedly

''Ok Derrick but don't forget to fill the pokedex to help my researches Ok''

''Ok"

And finally Derrick heads of in the distance to start his journey but getting on the road he spots somebody who will it be and is he friendly find out in the next chapter[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Chapter 2] As Derrick was walking down the road he spots his rival Lewis.

"Hey Lewis!" Shouted Derrick

Just as Lewis was turning around Derrick had already caught up.

"Hey i thought you'd never make it." Lewis said sarcastically

"Don't bet on it cause i'm gonna become the greatest Pokemon Master in the World!" Derrick shouted

"Uh just tell me one thing Derrick." Lewis said

"What is it?" Asked Derrick with a confused face

"Do you know how to catch a pokemon." Derrick asked

"Uhhhhhhh."

"I knew it here come with me."

"Ok." Derrick said confused.

At a lake

"Ok Derrick see that pokemon over there."

"Yah its so cool i'll check it on the pokedex."

PokeDex: Bikago the fire water pokemon. Bikago likes to live near lakes and when provoked shoots water at the provoker.

"Now watch Derrick."

"Magby come on out."

"Magby use smokescreen on bikago"

"MAAAAAAAAAGGGGBYYYY!"

"Now use leer!"

"And for the finally use ember."

"MMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGBYYYY!"

''PokeBall go!"

Pokeball sounds
Ding

"Alright Lewis you caught it." Said Derrick happy

"No Derrick you caught it, it was your BirthDay yesterday right so here a Birthday gift."

"Ohhhhhh thank you thank you." Said Derrick jumping up and down

"By the way Derrick lets battle a two on two battle."

"Wait why?"

"I wanna test your skills ok."

"Fine."

At the Battle Field

"Ok since your the challenger Lewis you can send out your first pokemon."

"Ok Magby come on out!"

"Fine then i'll send out Bikago."

All of a sudden a little creature that looks like a larvitar with its mouth wide open appeared

"Bikaaaaaaaaaa"

"Ok lets start." Both Derrick and Lewis said

"Fine, magby use smokescreen."

"Magbyyy." Suddenly a purple cloud appeared heading toward Bikago.

"Bikago dodge it then use water gun."

Bikago dodges the smokescreen and then throw a beam of water at Magby.

"Magby use ember while spinning."

Magby suddenly starts using ember while spinning and evaporates the water gun.

"Magby use leer!"

Magby uses leer and it hits bikago

"Ok Magby for the finally use ember."

"Bikago use Water Cannon."

"Yes sir."Said Bikago

The ember and water gun hit each other and a giant cloud of smoke appears and after the smoke clears we find Bikago and Magby fainted.

"Magby, Bikago return!"

"You did well Bikago."

"You to magby".

"Ok Derrick ready for our last pokemon." Lewsi said towards Derrick

"Sure am".

"Ichichago come on out!"

Suddenly a little pokemon appeared wich had flame on its tail and kinda looked like a monkey.

"Likigago come on out."

Likigago appeared and it had a tail that looked like a thunder strike and was yellow with red spots.

"Ichiiiiii"said Ichichago, "Goooooooooooooooo" said Likigago

"Ready Likigago." asked Derrick

"Yes sir i'll help anytime." Said the Likigago

"Ok Derrick you can have the honors."

"Why thank you."

"Likigago use ThunderBolt on Ichichago!"

"Likiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

Suddenly Electricity came shootong at Ichichago

"Ichichago dodge it then use mach punch."

Ichichago dodged the thunderbolt and thanks to its speed mach punch hit without Likigago having a chance to escape.

"liiiiiiii"Shouted Likigago while spinning on teh floor.

"Likigago are you alright stand up please i believe on you."

"Y-y-yes sir i-i'm alright." Said Likigago withtrouble

"Ok Likigago this is our final move use Thunder punch while spinning!"

"Likikikikikikikikikikikikikk!"

"Ichichago use Fire Punch."

"Ichiiiiiiiiiiiii"

Suddenly the fire punch and Thunder Punch hit with ease and then a giant smoke came out and after the smoke cleared both Likigago and Ichichago were on the ground fainted.

"I guess its a tie" Said Derrick

"I guess it is."

Ichichago, and Likigago both returned to their pokeballs

"Nice battle Lewis i hope to battle you any time."

"You to."

And thats the end of chapter two[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Chapter 3]After the battle with Lewis, Derrick went to the pokemon center to heal his pokemon.

"Here are your pokemon Derrick safe and sound."said Miss. Joy

"Thank you miss. joy." "How are you guys doing?"asked Derrick

"Were fine but hungry." both bikago and Likigago said

"Fine lets go get some food." said Derrick

"YAaaaay food!" both Likigago and Bikago said

Derrick, Bikago and Likigago on Derrick shoulder all went to go get food.

After Derrick finished eating, Derrick asked his pokemon if there ready to go to raven town.

"Derrick." "yes." "do you know where raven town is?" Likigago asked

"Uhhhhhhh." Mumbled Derrick

*sigh* "Let's ask somebody then." said Likigago.
"Ok." said Derrick

Derrick, Likigago on Derrick's shoulder, and Bikago went to find someone to ask and somebody pops up and says "are you trying to ask someone where Raven town is."

Derrick turned around and saw his friend/rival Pheonix.

'Pheonix, long time no see, i can see your still the same tall guy, with with jet black hair, same shorts and vest." said Derrick

"Yah and i see you've gotten taller." said Pheonix

"Hey do you know where raven town is?" asked Derrick

"Yeah i do you go out the pokecenter, go straight and you'll reach route 13, just pass there and you'll be in Raven town." "Oh wait when your in Route 13 your gonna have to pass a forest but be careful there's been sightings of a strong pokemon stealing food and tormenting travelers."

"Thanks pheonix and i will be careful." said Derrick

"Now of to the journey!" screamed Derrick

Derrick grabs Likigago puts him on his head and returns Bikago to his pokeball and goes out the pokecenter and ten minutes later he encounters a bike shop wich Derrick goes in.

"Hello anyone here?" asked Derrick

A tall man, with black shoes, blue jeans, and a white shirt comes out from the back and asks Derrick what did he need.

"Well i need a bike to take to route 13, how much does one cost." said Derrick

"300 pokemoney." said the owner

"Whaaaaaaaaaaat!" screamed Derrick

"Thats to much." said Derrick

"Hey, one question." said the owner

"Yah what is it." said Derrick

"Your a pokemon trainer right?"

"Yah what about it?" asked Derrick

"Well how about this beat me in a pokemon duel and you can have the bike for free."said the bike shop owner

"Really!" "Ok I accept the challenge." said Derrick enthuiastically

At the back of the bike shop

"Ok Derrick it's gonna be a one on one battle." "First pokemon to faint loses."said the B.S.O

"Fine." said derrick

"Since your the challenger you can have the honors to bring out your pokemon" said Derrick

"Why thanks." "Ok come on out Bikikiko." yelled The B.S.O

The B.S.O's pokeball flew in the air and a white light flashed to the ground then the light disappeared and there on the ground stood bikikiko proud and tall with its grey body and its glaring eyes wide and burning with fire anxious to fight.

"What a cool pokemon just hold on."said Derrick

Derrick grab his pokedex and checked bikikiko's data.

Bikikiko. It's a steel,/rock type. Bikikiko mostly lives in the mountains or in caves. When there scared they let out a bright light to blind the opponent and shoots boulders at the opponents.

"So a steel/rock type huh, so i guess i'll send out Bikago."

Derrick's pokeball flew in the air and a white light appeared and the light disappeared and Bikago appeared.

"Ok derrick you can have the first move." said the B.S.O.

"Ok Bikago use water gun."said derrick

Bikago shot a beam of water from its mouth and it headed forward to bikikiko.

"Bikikiko dodge it then use iron rock combo."said the B.S.O

Bikikigo's tail started glowing and swung it at the ground. Suddenly a rock flew up and bikikiko hit the rock with its tail and it went hurling towards bikago.

"Bikago dodge it, then use Fire/water punch combo."said Derrick

Bikago dodged the rock and its fist started glowing red and blue and bikago started running towards bikikiko and the combo hit with perfection and sent hurling bikikiko towards a tree and was super effective. When the dust cleared both Derrick and the B.S.O saw bikikiko struggling to stand up. Suddenly Bikikiko started acting weird.

"W...whats he doing?"asked Derrick

"It's Bikikiko's special ability Rockaze."said the B.S.O

"Whats that?"asked Derrick.

"It happens when bikikiko is at very low health his strenght goes way up but its only a one hit move because after a while bikikiko takes recoil damage from it."explained the B.S.O

"So Bikikiko this is our final move, use rock punch."said the B.s.O

Bikikiko's arm started turning into rock and he went hurling towards bikago.

"Bikago dodge it."Said Derrick

Bikago dodged it on time and Bikikiko still went hurling and crashed into the Shop's wall and a big smoke cloud appeared. When th smoke cleared Bikikiko was fainted.

"Bikikiko return." yelled the B.S.O.

"Well i guess you win Derrick nice battle." said the B.s.O

"Yah nice battle."said Derrick

"Well a deal's a deal here's your new bike."said the B.S.O

The B.S.O handed Derrick handed Derrick a red bike just his size.

"Thanks now if you excuse me i gotta be going now." said Derrick

"Ok, Take care and be careful with that strong pokemon in route 13!"yelled the B.S.O

"I will." said Derrick

Derrik gets on his bike and starts riding toward route 13.

Thats the end of Chapter 3[/spoiler]

[Spoiler=Chapter 4 route 13 a mystery]After the battle with the B.S.O, Derrick with his newly won bike is heading towards route 13.

"Ahhhh what a beautiful day it is, and me on my journey to become the greatest pokemon master."

While Derrick was fantasizing he didnt know the big rock in the way and the front wheel hit the rock, and Derrick went flying in the sky as so did his bike and landed in a tree.

"Owwwwwww!" "So much for a great landing." Derrick said

Derrick got down from the tree and then got his bike down

"Where am i?" Derrick asked himself

Suddenly Derrick heard a faint voice saying "Why are you here?" "You should'ave never came." "Get Ooooooooooout!"

Then suddenly a dark beam headed striaght towards Derrick, luckiliy Derrick dodged it on time.

"Who are you?" "What do you want from me?" Derrick asked the faint voice

"I want you to get ooooooooooooooout!" Another dark beam headed straight towards Derrick but Derrick dodged it again and got on his bike and started pedaling.

"What was that?" Derrick thought

Suddenly Derrick heard a twig break and with that he thought "Is he chasing me, why i haven't done anything to it?"

Derrick felt a shiver run down his back and pedaled even faster. Derrick finally came to a dead end, then he turned around and finally saw what was chasing him.

It had a ghostly/dark feeling to it and was taller than Derrick. It looked strong and had a purple coloring with a redish purplelish beard.

Derrick grabed the pokeDex from his pocket but the pokemon hit Derrick's hand and the pokeDex went flying in the air and landed on the ground.

"You don't need tha...that contraption." the pokemon said

"Yes i do i want answers, who are you and why are you chasing me?" Derrick asked the pokemon

"Be quiet!" the pokemon screamed "Why did you leave me, betray me like that, i.. i thought we were friends." The pokemon said to Derrick

"What are you talking about, what do you mean i betrayed you, I don't even know who you are?" Said Derrick

"I said be quiet!'' the pokemon screamed again "Ohh so you've forgotten of me, remember this?"

The pokemon grabbed Derrick on his head with his hands and his hands started glowing making Derrick see pictures

Pictures

"Remember Derrick when we went to the johto region?"The pokemon asked

Derrick saw a guy that looked familiar to him in a pokemon battle sending out Zixional

End of pictures

"So your name is Zexional." Derrick said "But that wasn't me, he looks like me but that wasn't me." Derrick said trying to convince Zexional

"Prove it." said Zexional angry

"Ok how about a pokemon battle if i catch you you'll believe me and i can capture you, but if you win i'll leave the forest forever."Said Derrick

"Sounds fine by me." Zexional said

At a rocky field near a river

"Come on out Bikago." Derrick said while the pokeball flew in he air sending out the fire water type out.

"Bikago use fire water combination." Derrick shouted

Bikago jumped in the air and started spinning while spining a water and fire move appeared in the spinnig formation Bikago was doing. Bikago finally charged at Zexional, but Zexional was able to dodge it barely, luckily for Derrick Bikago's move scratched a bit Zexional and that caused Zexional to be burned.

Zexional shot a dark beam at Bikago

"Bikago dodge it then use water." Derrick said to his pokemon

Bikago dodged it on time and shot a beam of water at Zexional with a direct hit Zexional took some damage.

Zexional charged at Bikago then jumped in the air with his claws glowing dark and went charging down hitting Bikago once then twice and a third time

Derrick knew that was Dark claw combo.
Bikago took alot of damage.

"Bikago this our last shot Zexional is weak. now use fire water combination."

Bikago jumped in the air and started spinning while spining a water and fire move appeared in the spinnig formation Bikago was doing. Bikago finally charged at Zexional and it was a direct hit wich weakened even more Zexional.

"Stoooooooop!" Shouted Derrick

Derrick when running towards Zexional trying to hold him up

"Why .. why are you doing this?"asked Zexional

''Because no pokeomn should be treated badly.'' Derrick said

"I can see now your not the bad trainer i had and i was wrong at chasing you." Said Zexional

"Its ok i know i looked like him so thats why you chased me, hey i got an idea why don't you accompany me on my adventures."Derrick said

"Really after all i've done to you."Zexional said

"Sure that wat you can see not all pokemon trainers are bad."Said Derrick

"O..oooo..k."Said Zexional

After that Zexional collapsed on the ground from all the damage he had taken.

"Zexional noooo!" shouted Derrick "Don't worry Zexional i'll take care of yah."Said Derrick

Derrick put Zexional on his back and asked Bikago if he could protect them from pokemon on there way to get out of the forest.

"Yes Derrick, i'll help." Said Bikago

Just Derrick was about to run he heard a roar and looked up at the sky.

"Hey Pheonix nice timing." Derrick shouted

"Hey Derrick wats up?" Pheonix asked

"Pheonix i need your help i need to take Zexional to the pokemon center quick."Derrick said "Do you think you could take me on your Draco?" Derrick asked

"Sure but later your gonna explain to me what hapened." Pheonix said

Everybody got on Draco and Draco started flying to a pokemon center.

At the pokemon Center

"So let me get this straight, Zexional is the famous pokemon thats attacked all the trainers that enter the forest on route 13, and Zexional thought ypu were his ex-trainer that abandoned him so he chased you." Pheonix said

"You got it." Derrick said

"What a crazy journey." Pheonix said

Derrick got up and asked miss joy if Zexional was ok and she said "Yes he is, by the way heres Bikago in perfect shape, and Zexional will be ok and be able to go with you tomoroow afternoon." MIss joy said

"Thank you." Derrcik said "Now all i gotta do is wait till tomorow." Derrick thought

Ende of Chapter 4[/spoiler]

[I am Fate. Embrace me.]

Name: Phoenix
Age: 10
Personality: A child prodigy who beat even the champion of hoenn when he was only 7, he has made Phoenix his alter-ego. (He beat the champ with his father, as they were journeying together.) He is also ruthless and remote.
Appearence: Has jet black hair fringed with red and blue, Red eyes, is somewhat short, wears shorts, a belt, and a vest.
Main pokemon: Salamence
Rest of the team: Bellosom, Gengar, Dragonite, Altaria, Luxray, Ho-oh

[TheDarkKingBringerOfDark]

[quote name='The Duel Destroyer' timestamp='1292740239' post='4863845']
Name: Phoenix
Age: 10
Personality: A child prodigy who beat even the champion of hoenn when he was only 7, he has made Phoenix his alter-ego. (He beat the champ with his father, as they were journeying together.) He is also ruthless and remote.
Appearence: Has jet black hair fringed with red and blue, Red eyes, is somewhat short, wears shorts, a belt, and a vest.
Main pokemon: Salamence
Rest of the team: Bellosom, Gengar, Dragonite, Altaria, Luxray, Ho-oh
[/quote]

accepted hes strong i'll make him my firs rival i guess he'll come out in chapter 4 or 5

[I am Fate. Embrace me.]

Phoenix is OK? I thought maybe you'd deny him because he's got a legendary pokemon and beat a champ. PM me when it's time for him to come out.

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

First of all, you will need to make your Prolouge a lot longer since the Prolouge will grab the readers attention. Like, what region is it ? Who is Derrick ? Why are people going to this region ? What is so important about it ? Who is the proffessor ? What are the starters ? I could list a bunch of more questions but that will make it harder for you. You should know, that the better the Prolouge the more apps you will get.

I would say the application form is too short. Like, how are people going to say their biography ? Without the biograpy the story gets boring.

Since you haven't started I couldn't give anymore critism. But, you must put chapter 1, because I think the Mods will lock the thread without a chapter. I guess I'll give you an App for now.

[spoiler=My App]
[b]Name:[/b] Lewis Grandon

[b]Age:[/b] 13

[b]Gender:[/b] Male

[b]Biography:[/b] Lewis was born in Twinleaf Town in the Sinnoh Region. He had always enjoyed Pokemon, so he decided to research Pokemon when he was 10. The next year, his parents were shot by some mysterious villians. He had since then felt loneyly and depressed. Because of this, he quit his dream and lived with his grandparents. When he was 12, he learned that his grandparents were trainers years ago, so he decided to become an Pokemon Trainer and traveled to track the people that killed his parents. He eventually found them and got an Magby as his starter. His current goal is to try his best as an trainer and to catch as much Pokemon as he can.

[b]Appearence:[/b] He wears an blue blazer, with a white shirt, black trousers and black shoes. Around his trousers is a belt, that holds his pokeballs. He carries an bag on his back that holds his supplies. His hair is brown and his eyes are also brown.

[b]Personality:[/b] He is kind to his Pokemon and to other people. He never gives up in an battle. He acts comfident about knowing the pokemon, so he rarely uses a Pokedex.

[b]Pokemon Team:[/b] Magby (It will change as the fan fic moves on if the fan fic gets that far)
[/spoiler]

If this application is accepted, then I'll pm about what Pokemon he will get in the future from time to time.

[Cthonian]

Name: Brian Matthews
Age: 16
Personality: Quiet, and mature. When you meet Brian in everyday life, he is very mature and polite. On the battlefield, his inner child comes out and his strategies unfold. Mayhem and Chaos intertwine.
Appearence: He is six foot even and has long brown hair. He is always in a white t-shirt and shorts (unless it's his Bon Jovi shirt).
Main Pokemon: Dragonite
Rest of the team: Vesnusaur, Alakazam, Roserade, Milotic, Gengar

[TheDarkKingBringerOfDark]

[quote name='destruction hero' timestamp='1292773319' post='4864464']
First of all, you will need to make your Prolouge a lot longer since the Prolouge will grab the readers attention. Like, what region is it ? Who is Derrick ? Why are people going to this region ? What is so important about it ? Who is the proffessor ? What are the starters ? I could list a bunch of more questions but that will make it harder for you. You should know, that the better the Prolouge the more apps you will get.

I would say the application form is too short. Like, how are people going to say their biography ? Without the biograpy the story gets boring.

Since you haven't started I couldn't give anymore critism. But, you must put chapter 1, because I think the Mods will lock the thread without a chapter. I guess I'll give you an App for now.

[spoiler=My App]
[b]Name:[/b] Lewis Grandon

[b]Age:[/b] 13

[b]Gender:[/b] Male

[b]Biography:[/b] Lewis was born in Twinleaf Town in the Sinnoh Region. He had always enjoyed Pokemon, so he decided to research Pokemon when he was 10. The next year, his parents were shot by some mysterious villians. He had since then felt loneyly and depressed. Because of this, he quit his dream and lived with his grandparents. When he was 12, he learned that his grandparents were trainers years ago, so he decided to become an Pokemon Trainer and traveled to track the people that killed his parents. He eventually found them and got an Magby as his starter. His current goal is to try his best as an trainer and to catch as much Pokemon as he can.

[b]Appearence:[/b] He wears an blue blazer, with a white shirt, black trousers and black shoes. Around his trousers is a belt, that holds his pokeballs. He carries an bag on his back that holds his supplies. His hair is brown and his eyes are also brown.

[b]Personality:[/b] He is kind to his Pokemon and to other people. He never gives up in an battle. He acts comfident about knowing the pokemon, so he rarely uses a Pokedex.

[b]Pokemon Team:[/b] Magby (It will change as the fan fic moves on if the fan fic gets that far)
[/spoiler]

If this application is accepted, then I'll pm about what Pokemon he will get in the future from time to time.
[/quote]

hes accepted

[TheDarkKingBringerOfDark]

[quote name='Cthonian' timestamp='1292777305' post='4864614']
Name: Brian Matthews
Age: 16
Personality: Quiet, and mature. When you meet Brian in everyday life, he is very mature and polite. On the battlefield, his inner child comes out and his strategies unfold. Mayhem and Chaos intertwine.
Appearence: He is six foot even and has long brown hair. He is always in a white t-shirt and shorts (unless it's his Bon Jovi shirt).
Main Pokemon: Dragonite
Rest of the team: Vesnusaur, Alakazam, Roserade, Milotic, Gengar
[/quote]

he's accepted i'll make him as a partner that will join me on the journey

[I am Fate. Embrace me.]

Can Phoenix be the Champion as well as your main rival?

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Well, it was ok since I think your a beginner. However, could you edit post 1 and put chapter 1 there because people from other threads would be confused what your "First Chapter" is about. Therefore, could you give the chapter an name like "Chapter 1 (something)" to give us readers an idea of what the chapters about.

On your Prolouge (thanks for editing it), Gunia Region needs capitalized, but im glad it's an new Region that nobody else can think of. I feel so excited for what Pokemon the Gym Leaders and Elite Four will use.

About Ichichago, Ikobi and Likigago. Are they Pokemon only found in the Gunia Region ? Since I can't find them on the Pokedex. If yes, could you make a spoiler on the first post that contains pictures or description of every custom Pokemon in the Gunia Region. I know that would be hard, so this is just a suggestion.

About the Chapter, it seems quite good. But, try to describe Derrick (should be easy since we know that in your app) , his mother and Proffessor Pine. I feel suprised that my character got a Pokemon from Proffessor Pine, but im not complaining if you Pm me saying what Pokemon he picked. I feel impressed that you described Proffessor Pines personality in time, since he must be patient for Derrick to be over half an hour late (half an hour if theres a short distance between Derricks house and Proffessor Pines lab). I also feel suprised that you didn't capitalize "I". Some minor misspelling or typing errors. I like chapters no matter how long or short it is, I will think some people might not like short chapters.

Anyway, good luck on the next chapter. Take some time to plan it out to achieve an great chapter. I understand the first one was rushed. I can't wait for what Pokemon Derrick will capture and how skilled they are.

[TheDarkKingBringerOfDark]

[quote name='destruction hero' timestamp='1292855123' post='4867397']
Well, it was ok since I think your a beginner. However, could you edit post 1 and put chapter 1 there because people from other threads would be confused what your "First Chapter" is about. Therefore, could you give the chapter an name like "Chapter 1 (something)" to give us readers an idea of what the chapters about.

On your Prolouge (thanks for editing it), Gunia Region needs capitalized, but im glad it's an new Region that nobody else can think of. I feel so excited for what Pokemon the Gym Leaders and Elite Four will use.

About Ichichago, Ikobi and Likigago. Are they Pokemon only found in the Gunia Region ? Since I can't find them on the Pokedex. If yes, could you make a spoiler on the first post that contains pictures or description of every custom Pokemon in the Gunia Region. I know that would be hard, so this is just a suggestion.

About the Chapter, it seems quite good. But, try to describe Derrick (should be easy since we know that in your app) , his mother and Proffessor Pine. I feel suprised that my character got a Pokemon from Proffessor Pine, but im not complaining if you Pm me saying what Pokemon he picked. I feel impressed that you described Proffessor Pines personality in time, since he must be patient for Derrick to be over half an hour late (half an hour if theres a short distance between Derricks house and Proffessor Pines lab). I also feel suprised that you didn't capitalize "I". Some minor misspelling or typing errors. I like chapters no matter how long or short it is, I will think some people might not like short chapters.

Anyway, good luck on the next chapter. Take some time to plan it out to achieve an great chapter. I understand the first one was rushed. I can't wait for what Pokemon Derrick will capture and how skilled they are.
[/quote]
thanks and yes ichichago, ikobi, and likigago are made up pokemon i made up for the Gunia region

[quote name='The Duel Destroyer' timestamp='1292822751' post='4866764']
Can Phoenix be the Champion as well as your main rival?
[/quote]

Sure he can be the champion and still my main rival

Bump still accepring gym leader applicants

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Is there an maximum amount of apps one person can give ? If yes how many ?

[TheDarkKingBringerOfDark]

[quote name='destruction hero' timestamp='1292874423' post='4868149']
Is there an maximum amount of apps one person can give ? If yes how many ?
[/quote]
you can give as many as you want untill i say no more apps

[Piercer of the Heavens]

Name: Natsu Lagoon
Age:16
Personality:Shy but likes to help his friends. He really doesn't have people skills, but he does have pokemon skills.
Appearence: He is 5.6. He has long brown hair that covers his eyes. He wears blue jeans with a light blue t-shirt
bio:He comes from a poor family and wishes to be the best of the best so the fame could hopefully bring his family money, but his shyness and lack of people skills hold him back. His first pokemon was Castform...well he grew up with it because Castform lived around the area he grew up in. He actually doesn't own castform because he never really caught it because there was no need to.
Main Pokemon:Castform
Rest of the team:Absol, Houndoom, Mighteyana, Luxray
Type:Trainer

[I am Fate. Embrace me.]

Cool. By the looks of it, Phoenix is the most important and strong trainer so far. He is worthy of being champ.

[Cthonian]

Name: Chase Matthews
Age: 18
Personality: Quiet and strong. On the battlefield, he likes to control everything. He likes to control all aspects of the battle. It could be the weather, or even the terrain that their battling on.
Appearence: Average height, with short brown hair. Always dressed very well and always has a picture of him and his little brother with him.
bio: Chase is Brian's older brother. He left home on his journey earlier than most. He hasn't seen his little borther or the rest of his family in ten years. Chase runs a strong grass type gym in ____ City. He looks foward to the day that he sees Brian walk through the doors to challenge him.
Main Pokemon: Venusaur
Rest of the team: Roserade, Torterra, Exeggutor, Abomasnow, Leafeon
Type: Gym leader

[TheDarkKingBringerOfDark]

[quote name='Cthonian' timestamp='1292940279' post='4870514']
Name: Chase Matthews
Age: 18
Personality: Quiet and strong. On the battlefield, he likes to control everything. He likes to control all aspects of the battle. It could be the weather, or even the terrain that their battling on.
Appearence: Average height, with short brown hair. Always dressed very well and always has a picture of him and his little brother with him.
bio: Chase is Brian's older brother. He left home on his journey earlier than most. He hasn't seen his little borther or the rest of his family in ten years. Chase runs a strong grass type gym in ____ City. He looks foward to the day that he sees Brian walk through the doors to challenge him.
Main Pokemon: Venusaur
Rest of the team: Roserade, Torterra, Exeggutor, Abomasnow, Leafeon
Type: Gym leader
[/quote]
finally a gym applicant he's accepted i'll just change the pokemon for ones you can find in the Gunia region ok and he'll be the second gym leader

[TheDarkKingBringerOfDark]

[quote name='Cthonian' timestamp='1292940279' post='4870514']
Name: Chase Matthews
Age: 18
Personality: Quiet and strong. On the battlefield, he likes to control everything. He likes to control all aspects of the battle. It could be the weather, or even the terrain that their battling on.
Appearence: Average height, with short brown hair. Always dressed very well and always has a picture of him and his little brother with him.
bio: Chase is Brian's older brother. He left home on his journey earlier than most. He hasn't seen his little borther or the rest of his family in ten years. Chase runs a strong grass type gym in ____ City. He looks foward to the day that he sees Brian walk through the doors to challenge him.
Main Pokemon: Venusaur
Rest of the team: Roserade, Torterra, Exeggutor, Abomasnow, Leafeon
Type: Gym leader
[/quote]
finally a gym applicant he's accepted i'll just change the pokemon for ones you can find in the Gunia region ok and he'll be the second gym leader

[Piercer of the Heavens]

ill make one for the normal gym, but not right now

[TheDarkKingBringerOfDark]

god i need help ive tried evrything it wont go into spoilers help please

[Piercer of the Heavens]

Name: Jaime Garcia
Age: 25
Personality: Unlike his pokemon he is not normal. In fact he always does the unexpected in both life and battling. He will do stuff does makes no sense because it probably is. Whenever he starts losing he starts he starts battling in a way that nobody has seen because he starts winging it(his strategies.)
Appearence: He has spiked up white hair and wears a colorful t-shirt and some baggie shorts.
Main Pokemon: Porygon-z
Rest of the team: Dodrio, Smeargle, Lopunny
type: Gym leader/normal

also you never said yes or no to the other one

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Should I make an Rock Gym Leader app Darkknight ?

[I am Fate. Embrace me.]

Name: Draco
Age: 31
Personality: He is very calm and collected. Rumor has it he has a close bond with Phoenix, as brothers. Naturally, he is just as strong, maybe stronger.
Appearence: Same hairstyle as Phoenix, a blue parka, and spiked boots. He has blue eyes, but one of them has an odd symbol instead of a pupil. He is very muscled and rough in appearence.
Main Pokemon: Flygon
Rest of team: Spiritomb, Medicham, Garchomp, Blaziken, Lugia
Type: Is there gonna be a battle frontier? If so, Frontier Brain. If not, normal.

[TheDarkKingBringerOfDark]

[quote name='Cthonian' timestamp='1292777305' post='4864614']
Name: Brian Matthews
Age: 16
Personality: Quiet, and mature. When you meet Brian in everyday life, he is very mature and polite. On the battlefield, his inner child comes out and his strategies unfold. Mayhem and Chaos intertwine.
Appearence: He is six foot even and has long brown hair. He is always in a white t-shirt and shorts (unless it's his Bon Jovi shirt).
Main Pokemon: Dragonite
Rest of the team: Vesnusaur, Alakazam, Roserade, Milotic, Gengar
[/quote]
accepted hell come out chapter 5

[quote name='The Duel Destroyer' timestamp='1293170758' post='4879295']
Name: Draco
Age: 31
Personality: He is very calm and collected. Rumor has it he has a close bond with Phoenix, as brothers. Naturally, he is just as strong, maybe stronger.
Appearence: Same hairstyle as Phoenix, a blue parka, and spiked boots. He has blue eyes, but one of them has an odd symbol instead of a pupil. He is very muscled and rough in appearence.
Main Pokemon: Flygon
Rest of team: Spiritomb, Medicham, Garchomp, Blaziken, Lugia
Type: Is there gonna be a battle frontier? If so, Frontier Brain. If not, normal.
[/quote]
hes accepted but the frontier wont be out untill later so he might come out a lot later

[quote name='destruction hero' timestamp='1293112754' post='4876455']
Should I make an Rock Gym Leader app Darkknight ?
[/quote]
sure

[quote name='monkeylife2' timestamp='1293074252' post='4875496']
Name: Jaime Garcia
Age: 25
Personality: Unlike his pokemon he is not normal. In fact he always does the unexpected in both life and battling. He will do stuff does makes no sense because it probably is. Whenever he starts losing he starts he starts battling in a way that nobody has seen because he starts winging it(his strategies.)
Appearence: He has spiked up white hair and wears a colorful t-shirt and some baggie shorts.
Main Pokemon: Porygon-z
Rest of the team: Dodrio, Smeargle, Lopunny
type: Gym leader/normal

also you never said yes or no to the other one
[/quote]
accepted he'll be thge 5th gym leader just im changing the pokemon for ones in the Gunia region

[Piercer of the Heavens]

[quote name='The darkknight2' timestamp='1293572766' post='4890697']
accepted hell come out chapter 5


hes accepted but the frontier wont be out untill later so he might come out a lot later


sure


accepted he'll be thge 5th gym leader just im changing the pokemon for ones in the Gunia region
[/quote]
Awesome, but can you please keep porygon-z. It's your story so if you don't want ok but I would appreciate it if you keep it.
Also you still haven't said yes or no to this guy.

Name: Natsu Lagoon
Age:16
Personality:Shy but likes to help his friends. He really doesn't have people skills, but he does have pokemon skills.
Appearence: He is 5.6. He has long brown hair that covers his eyes. He wears blue jeans with a light blue t-shirt
bio:He comes from a poor family and wishes to be the best of the best so the fame could hopefully bring his family money, but his shyness and lack of people skills hold him back. His first pokemon was Castform...well he grew up with it because Castform lived around the area he grew up in. He actually doesn't own castform because he never really caught it because there was no need to.
Main Pokemon:Castform
Rest of the team:Absol, Houndoom, Mighteyana, Luxray
Type:Trainer