Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Errors are fixed and Chapter 11 is up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneycombTroy Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Chapter 11 is great. Just, the first few sentences, you used too when it should be to. Can't remember the exact sentence. And what is with Triple Battles in Black and White. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Chapter 12 is up and Random Merlin the creators of pokemon are getting bored so every second generation there going to add in another pokemon to battling so therefore by Generation 11 there will be 6 pokemon out at once Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDarkKingBringerOfDark Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 i like chapter 11 ending keep writing love your stories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Chapter 13 is up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Chapter 14 is up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneycombTroy Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 In chapter 13, you wrote this: Yes it is over,’ said Lt. Surge, ‘Raichu continuously use Thunderbolt.’ Red saw Thunder flying everywhere. About three moves [font="Impact"]latter[/font] Ivysaur had fainted. You spelt later wrong. Otherwise, its great. Can't wait for Red V.S Blue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDarkKingBringerOfDark Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 still like chapter 11 but keep writing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Chapter 15 is up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supreme Gamesmaster Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 CONVENTIONS: [b]D[/b] Complete lack of punctuation mid-quote? Single-quotes? Apostrophes in all the wrong places? It doesn't get much worse. CHARACTERS: [b]D[/b] I sense only barebones characterizations. Everyone seems a mere caricature of their old selves, and are pretty much indistinguishable from each other. PLOT: [b]D[/b] Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring. EFFORT: [b]D[/b] If you tried very hard on this, I can't tell. READABILITY: [b]D[/b] All those line breaks, the single quotes, and the monotony of your word choice and sentence structure make this a serious pain to read. SCORE: [b]20% // D-[/b] It's bad. It's really bad. It's really, really bad. Then again, you're turning out a chapter or two a day, seeing how you have fifteen chapters a week after you posted the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Chapter 16 is up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneycombTroy Posted January 17, 2011 Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 Chapter 16 says chapter 17. And Ivysaur is half poison type, it cannot be poisoned. Otherwise, great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2011 Hey sorry i haven't posted for a while Next Chapter is up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneycombTroy Posted January 20, 2011 Report Share Posted January 20, 2011 Chapter 17 is awesome. Can't wait for chapter 18. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.::Kisuke Urahara::. Posted January 21, 2011 Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 I only read the first chapter because I'm too lazy and It's 5:00 in the morning right now, but so far, I like it. When I read the part about Blue choosing Charmander, I thought back to when he chose a Squirtle against my Charmander and i was like "FFFFFFFF!" ... well, you know what was next, anyway why Bulbasaur and Poliwhirl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 Well Bulbasaur is First on the Pokedex so that's why I put him in Red's Team Poliwhirl I don't really know why i put him in Red's Team Thanks for reading it VanitusGamer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Chapter 18 up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneycombTroy Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 chapter 18 is great. Can't wait to find out about Greens past in future chapters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Chapter 19 is up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneycombTroy Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Great chapter. I love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 Sorry i havent made any new chapters in a while but I'm back now Chapter 20 is up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 Chapter 21 is up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneycombTroy Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 Great chapters. Finally, i can find out about Greens past in the next chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Number: Card Master Posted January 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 Greens past has finally been revealed Chapter 22 is up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneycombTroy Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 AWESOME CHAPTER!!!!!!! Nice work with Greens past. I bet it was Gary who escaped with her. Just a guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.