Renzoku Kira- Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Old Version [img]http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/8425/307718q.jpg[/img] Lore: You must Tribute 3 monsters to Normal Summon this card (you cannot Set this card). The Normal Summon of this card cannot be negated. When this card is Normal Summoned, Spells, Traps, and Effect Monster effects cannot be activated. This card cannot be targeted by the effects of Spells, Traps or Effect Monsters. During each of your Standby Phases, pay 300 Life Points or destroy this card. When this card destroys a monster by battle, Inflict 400 points of damage to your opponent. This card cannot declare an attack the turn it is Normal Summoned. New Version [img]http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/8229/307718d.jpg[/img] Lore:This card cannot be Set, this card can only be Normal Summoned by Tributing 3 monsters you control. No effect can be activated in response to the Normal Summoning of this card. This card cannot attack the turn it was Normal Summoned. This card cannot be targeted by the effects of Spell, Trap or Monster Effects. While you control this face-up card, during each of your Standby Phases pay 300 Life Points, if you do not, destroy this card. If this card destroys a monster by battle, inflict 400 damage to your opponent. Once per turn you can remove a monster in your Graveyard to inflict damage to your opponent equal to half the removed monster's original ATK, this card cannot declare an attack during the same turn you activate this effect. Feedback would be great. I need to get this card perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGenuine Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 end makes it overpowered. good idea. decent in some decks. 8/10and OCG errors Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renzoku Kira- Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Well it is supposed to be really powerful. What are the OCG errors so I can know what to fix. Should I lower the amount of damage inflicted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGenuine Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 sort of like my sister can tell ocg errors but not what....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renzoku Kira- Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 so your saying there are OCG errors, but you don't know what they are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity the Candyman Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 8/10 Understandable effect and Pic is meh .(sig is in the pic, bad) The only real problem is this sentence: "When this card is Normal Summoned, Spells, Traps, and Effect Monster effects cannot be activated." To me, it dosent look right. If that is correct OCG, then keep it. oh, instead of saying "pay" how about sacrifice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renzoku Kira- Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 I checked that is the right grammar for that saying. Its kind of hard finding pics for Greek Gods and Titans. thanks for the feedback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghoulish Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 OCG: This card cannot be Set, this card can only be Normal Summoned by Tributing 3 monsters you control. No effect can be activated in response to the Normal Summoning of this card. This card cannot attack the turn it was Normal Summoned. This card cannot be targeted by the effects of Spell, Trap or Monster Effects. While you control this face-up card, during each of your Standby Phases pay 300 Life Points, if you do not, destroy this card. If this card destroys a monster by battle, inflict 400 damage to your opponent. Name: I guess it's okay, maybe try to emphasize the darkness of the monster a little more. Originality: Very Unoriginal, inflicting damage, that all it has? And even that isn't something to be proud of, make it more original, it's a god card so emphasize that aspect, it's Hades as well so use the Graveyard, eg: "Once per turn you can remove a monster in your Graveyard to inflict damage to your opponent equal to half the removed monster's original ATK, this card cannot declare an attack during the same turn you activate this effect." Balance: decrease the ATK to 4000 and make the defence lower to, it is severly underpowered i would not tribute 3 cards to normal Summon this monster. power it up a stronger burn effect or a revival effect should be added. Useful?: Not much, there are plenty of more suitable cards, this card has a generalizing effect try to make it more useful to either a specific siutuation that ur deck will specialize in. Overall: 5/10, not the worst, make it more original and power it up a bit, it could be a decent card but it needs some serious work.OCG: This card cannot be Set, this card can only be Normal Summoned by Tributing 3 monsters you control. No effect can be activated in response to the Normal Summoning of this card. This card cannot attack the turn it was Normal Summoned. This card cannot be targeted by the effects of Spell, Trap or Monster Effects. While you control this face-up card, during each of your Standby Phases pay 300 Life Points, if you do not, destroy this card. If this card destroys a monster by battle, inflict 400 damage to your opponent. Name: I guess it's okay, maybe try to emphasize the darkness of the monster a little more. Originality: Very Unoriginal, inflicting damage, that all it has? And even that isn't something to be proud of, make it more original, it's a god card so emphasize that aspect, it's Hades as well so use the Graveyard, eg: "Once per turn you can remove a monster in your Graveyard to inflict damage to your opponent equal to half the removed monster's original ATK, this card cannot declare an attack during the same turn you activate this effect." Balance: decrease the ATK to 4000 and make the defence lower to, it is severly underpowered i would not tribute 3 cards to normal Summon this monster. power it up a stronger burn effect or a revival effect should be added. Useful?: Not much, there are plenty of more suitable cards, this card has a generalizing effect try to make it more useful to either a specific siutuation that ur deck will specialize in. Overall: 5/10, not the worst, make it more original and power it up a bit, it could be a decent card but it needs some serious work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renzoku Kira- Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Thanks for the feedback Bluster I am going to post my new version of the monster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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