Aesirson Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 [spoiler=Not a Prologue/A Teaser]The knight looked down at the dead man. He was clothed in rugged, dirty linen, probably a so-called “duster”, or poor man. He laid face-down, in a pool of his own blood. The knight rolled him over with her foot, and saw the man's bloody face. Its eyes were wide open, filled with fear. Whatever killed him had probably scared him to death even before he was properly killed. The knight did, however, notice a note in the man's hand. She kneed down next to the man and opened his palm. “You'll have no use for this anymore.” She said and took the note out of his hand. She stood up and read the few words scribbled on the paper: [i]I knew- my last wish- daughter- They have arrived![/i] The rest of the writing was unreadable. One could tell from the way it was written that it had been scribbled in great haste, and the knight knew what had triggered this haste. She threw one last glance at the man. “Sorry pal, your last wish won't be granted.” She walked outside the cottage and looked up at the sun. Around her the ground was filled with dead bodies, not all of them human. Some of them were elven, and there was a few dwarves, but there was not a single corpse from the attacker. She looked around her self for her companion, who was busy counting the bodies. “Doric!” She expressed when she saw him appearing behind a building. “We need to return to Rimwall. This is clearly an act of war on the Oomeran's part.” “Agreed.” Doric answered. “I will go get the horses, milady.” He returned soon with two armored horses, suitable for the two knights. “How many?” The lady asked. “Too many. Even children and women. More children and women than men, actually.” Doric looked sad, but quickly mounted his horse and awaited his superior to do the same. The knight did, and they then rode away from the little village of Gurwood, towards Rimwall.[/spoiler] No, the knight and Doric is not the main characters. This is only a small teaser to give the reader a microscopic clue about what is going on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted March 2, 2011 Report Share Posted March 2, 2011 Exciting. Can't way to see it. =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aesirson Posted March 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2011 Thank you. Writing [s]the first chapter[/s] an introduction to the main characters. Still unsure about the name, though. [spoiler=Not a Chapter/An Introduction] Miranda pulled the leash, causing the bronze giant to grunt and almost fall over, but he didn't start walking. ”Come on, you lumbering monster!” She said and pulled once again. This time the Oomeran started walking with another grunt. ”Why am I on a leash?” The giant asked. ”Do I really deserve this?” ”You crippled a man for life.” Miranda simply said and kept walking. ”And I don't want you to run away.” ”You're armed.” The Oomeran said, as if Miranda wasn't aware. ”And so are your companions.” The giant nodded towards Miranda's companions, Gordon and Sitzu. Gordon was a veteran warrior from the northern lands. He was big, although not as big as the Oomeran, and had messy, black hair that was graying at the temples. He was also bearded, something that Miranda found amusing. His chest and arms was clothed in light, dirty plate, while the rest of his armor was made from thick, northern leather and fur, except for his feet, which wore sabatons of the same kind of metal as his chestplate. On his back he carried a long blade, way longer than what Miranda would be able to control. Gordon didn't talk much. Sitzu, on the other hand, was a very talkative persona. He was a short, old man from the eastern island nation. He had only one eye. Or at least only one normal eye. His right eye was completely red, and scary in a way. His right arm had been replaced by an arm of metal, and he had no right leg. Instead he walked using a stick. Miranda was not entirely sure about how the arm of metal worked, but she had heard that the eastern people had mastered a kind of magic they called “clockwork”, and assumed that this was the kind of magic used to make the arm work. Sitzu also wore a metal hat, and at his thigh he carried his crossbow, along with some weird, green balls that he called “bombs”. Sitzu also had a beard, but unlike Gordon's his was long and gray. “Don't be so hard with him, Miranda!” Sitzu heartily chuckled. “If you make him angry there's a bigger chance he'll kill us while we're asleep.” He chuckled again and smiled. “Besides, if he tries to run...” He pat his crossbow and smiled. Miranda sighed and let go of the Oomeran's leash. The giant looked at Miranda and nodded. He followed the group, even though he now had a chance to escape His name was Gherad. He was as large as an average Oomeran, standing at 2.1 meters height. His skin was bronze, and his hair was white and short. Unlike most Oomeran Gherad didn't sport any horns, which was probably why he left Oomera for Rimwall. Oomeran without horns was called “Nelorns” in the Oomeran tongue, and his was a great shame. Gherad had a stern face and was clothed in simple clothings. And why was he a prisoner? The Oomeran and the people of Rimwall had for long had some tension between each other, but they had accepted the other in their homelands, and some trade was going on between the two nations. However, Gherad had attacked a trader in uncontrollable rage when the trader had asked too much than Gherad could afford. The trader had been crippled by the attack and Gherad was to be sent to his homelands so that his people could give him justice. Miranda, Gordon and Sitzu was his escort, since the road to Oomera was a dangerous one. This was Miranda's first mission as a knight. Sitzu had accompanied her because they were old friends, and Gordon had been forced due to his duty. Miranda was Gordon's apprentice, but this didn't mean they liked each other. Gordon may not talk much, but when he did he was often grumpy and angry. Probably because he didn't like Rimwallians that much. Only twenty years ago Rimwall and High Peak, Gordon's homelands, had been in war against each other. While the war was solved peacefully the inhabitants of High Peak was not very fond of Rimwallians, and the Rimwallians showed no love back. Nonetheless, there is one thing that conquers hate. Love. Gordon had suffered from the ultimate disease of falling for a woman from Rimwall, and if that wasn't enough they had also produced a child. Thus Gordon was forced to stay in Rimwall with his wife and child. Gordon looked back at the Oomeran as they continued on the road. He looked the giant in the eyes, and Gherad answered the look in a rather comical way. “The Norderan want something?” He asked sternly. Gordon sighed and looked at the setting sun. “We should set up a camp here.” He said and sat down on a stump. The rest of the company stopped and looked at him, except for Gherad who kept walking. “Here?” Miranda asked and stepped on Gherad's leash, which was now dragged along the ground behind the Oomeran. The giant grunted, stopped and turned around “There are a lot of nocturnal creatures in these woods. Ones that you do not want to be ambushed by.” Gordon answered. Sitzu agreed, and so did Gherad. Miranda sighed and had nothing to say about the decision, even though she was the official leader of the mission. They set up camp. Gordon was the first one to keep watch.[/spoiler][spoiler=Oomeran Dictionary]Oomeran - People of the Thunder Oomera - Land of he Thunder Gherad- An Oomeran name, means "Mere man" Nelorn - Oomeran without horns (literally "without horns") Norderan - Man/woman from High Peak (literally "People of the Cold")[/spoiler] Please forgive me for writing such pathetically short chunks of text. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 Introduction was boring. I was hoping you would keep us interested by showing so action or at least foreshadowing. =/ Also, I suggest putting the dictionary first before the introduction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aesirson Posted March 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2011 Yea, sorry about the introduction being boring. I'll make sure to include some action in the first real chapter, which I will start writing tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
--------------- Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Not bad. One question. [quote name='Ba'al' timestamp='1299023625' post='5044426'] [i]I knew- my last wish- daughter- They have arrived![/i] The rest of the writing was unreadable. One could tell from the way it was written that it had been scribbled in great haste, and the knight knew what had triggered this haste. She threw one last glance at the man. “Sorry pal, your last wish won't be granted.”[/quote] Foreshadowing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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