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Return of the Vongola - Chapter 9 is up in here!! [PG-16]


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[quote name='Enma Kozato' timestamp='1316395618' post='5525000']
the spanish the rain guardian uses is a bit unrealistiv
"Take this Friend!"
[/quote]
...Is that the only comment you have? O.o

And

in spanish, amigo is used for a lot of things

And he obviously doesn't consider the dude that stabbed his stomach a friend.

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So what I have to assume is the new Arcobaleno is some sort of a female Fong and is most likely the storm arcobaleno.
Also is this new person a guardian?Seeing as he is stronger than Rafael I would also assume he would take the position of a cloud guardian, seeing as he fights to protect a place he loves, similar to Hibari.

Good job.

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[quote name='Enma Kozato' timestamp='1316400101' post='5525238']
So what I have to assume is the new Arcobaleno is some sort of a female Fong and is most likely the storm arcobaleno.

[b]Admittedly, I can see where you're coming from with the Fong thing. But...why Storm? O.o[/b]

Also is this new person a guardian?

[b]We'll see :3[/b]

Seeing as he is stronger than Rafael I would also assume he would take the position of a cloud guardian, seeing as he fights to protect a place he loves, similar to Hibari.

[b]Good assessment. I wonder..hmm... :33[/b]

Good job.

[b]ty[/b]
[/quote]
:'DD

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[quote name='Enma Kozato' timestamp='1316403475' post='5525398']
Because Fong was the storm arcobaleno...
And seeing as both Fong and the new arcobaleno had long black hair
Fong wore a Gi and whoever(forgot name) wears a kimono
Also her eyes were red were they not?
[/quote]
....you've got a good point O:

And I suppose it's not impossible for Luna to be the storm.

But we'll just see

Heck, haven't you guys wondered why they don't carry pacifiers? O.o

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[quote name='Enma Kozato' timestamp='1316411778' post='5525602']
Because the trinisette was either abolished or the hell gates have something to do with it
I figured because of the recent chapters in KHR the pacifiers are destroyed eventually

It just hit me that like two-three people read this
[/quote]
..yep =p How many ppl did you think read it? XD

And

I think they'll be destroyed

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  • 3 weeks later...
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The Fic is in need of another guardian introduction.
We need a storm and a sun for significant immediate plot developement
Cloud and Mist for more subtle or delayed developments
And lightning for filler.
That is if DLs following KHRs style of character developement.
It's a solid style too, and Link, you may not know it, but it's a style you usually lean towards in the works I've read by you.
Take a group of characters and make them immediate, and leave some others to linger and develop.
That's what I see in your writing anyways.

/ADD influenced literary critique and reccomendations

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