What's Your Zombie Plan?

[RaltZ]

I would do the thing that they did in the movie 2012, where they built a bunch of arks. I would fill the arks with a bunch of people who weren't infected, and we'd go out on the sea and wait till the zombies die out. Yup.

[Christian Exodia]

Inb4thisisprobablymovedtoPolls

What about food?

But I would hide on the top of a Conveinence Store, with only a long ladder on top with me, occasionally going down to get snacks when no Zombies are around.

[Tentacruel]

They would get to you eventually.


I vote for the multiple arks + fishing rods and some device that filters salt and other impurities out of the sea water.


Also, I'd gather all the ammo I possibly could and occasionally go ashore and kill some zombies for testing.

[Anbu-of-Sand]

inb4treadmillsfacingoutwardfromthehouse

[Yang Xiao-Long]

[quote name='gpuatu' timestamp='1303261467' post='5152972']
and wait till the zombies die out.
[/quote]

That's as contradictory as Starburst.


But I digress.

[spoiler='My zombie plan']
I'd get myself a bunch of ammo, tons of guns, and maybe even a few missiles. I'd then get a military bomber with plenty of fuel, and just go airport to airport, decimating zombies along the way. While waiting for the refueling of the bomber while on the ground, I'd go to a nearby convenience store and pick up supplies, getting rid of any and all zombies to and from the convenience store.

I'd also find a nice island far away from any zombies to take a break.[/spoiler]

[I-dreezyAFG]

i hold em off for a few rounds, then go switch the power on and exit the game by using the teleporter and i win.

[Christian Exodia]

And Hiyama would eventually find me and take me along.

[Yang Xiao-Long]

[quote name='Christian Exodia' timestamp='1303262410' post='5153027']
And Hiyama would eventually find me and take me along.
[/quote]

And then the next thing you know we have a whole fleet of bombers bombing the utter snot out of those zombies.

[Βyakuya]

Arm myself with every possible available weapon and prepare for the worst.

[Sorrow.]

I would combine a paddle oar and two chainsaws in a Maintenance Room and kill zombies in Vegas.

Actually, I would survive in a mall. Lots of supplies and food available to me, it seems reasonable, but of course there would also be other survivors which is another good advantage.

[Christian Exodia]

[quote name='Hiyama Kiyoteru' timestamp='1303262536' post='5153036']
And then the next thing you know we have a whole fleet of bombers bombing the utter snot out of those zombies.
[/quote]
With you and me commanding the fleet. And once the Zombies are gone and a cure is found, we will have successfully created the army to conquer the known world.

[Yang Xiao-Long]

[quote name='Christian Exodia' timestamp='1303264276' post='5153102']
With you and me commanding the fleet. And once the Zombies are gone and a cure is found, we will have successfully created the army to conquer the known world.
[/quote]

Let's not get TOO carried away here xD

[Christian Exodia]

[quote name='Hiyama Kiyoteru' timestamp='1303264494' post='5153112']
Let's not get TOO carried away here xD
[/quote]
xD I know. Once it's found, we'll round up the dysfunctional survivors and reorganize the countries.

[Squidward Tentacles]

I'd gather a few of my friends and we'd all get ammo and such and take a place where we have enough space to fight but not big enough for zombies to hide in, then kill a bunch of zombies and hope for a YCM member (Hopefully Hiyama and Chris) to find us.

[CeDeFiA]

There isn't anything you can really do to get away from zombies, especially in America. We'd probably just sit there and let them eat us. xD

[Anbu-of-Sand]

[quote name='CeDeFiA' timestamp='1303265136' post='5153136']
There isn't anything you can really do to get away from zombies, especially in America. We'd probably just sit there and let them eat us. xD
[/quote]
Stereotypical much?

Us Canadians will have no trouble evading the Zombies if we just chill in our igloos surrounded by an icy floor.

[Yasu]

[url="http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html"]Let mother nature handle it.[/url]

I'd [i]euthanize[/i] people I don't like, get sh*tloads of money, and a car, maybe two.

[.Starrk]

Turn on the power, then pack a punch. It's not f***ing rocket science.

[D.A._Sakuyamon]

I'd go to the cold. Zombies are rendered useless if they freeze. Hauling yourself in a place like a convince store or other such thing is foolish to me cause the'd get in eventually (unless it's freezing cold outside). Also, screw money, like thats going to be of any use in a zombie world.

Simple put anbu and I have the best plan.

[Gospel.]

If I have host, we're all good.

[Makο]

[quote name='• Starrk •' timestamp='1303268595' post='5153337']
Turn on the power, then pack a punch. It's not f***ing rocket science.
[/quote]


icwatudidthar.




I would grab the nearest garden tool and climb on top of buildings, only leaving said buildings to search for food and better weapons.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='♥ D.A._ϯɨå Håʀʀɨbel ♥' timestamp='1303269036' post='5153357']
I'd go to the cold. Zombies are rendered useless if they freeze. Hauling yourself in a place like a convince store or other such thing is foolish to me cause the'd get in eventually (unless it's freezing cold outside). Also, screw money, like thats going to be of any use in a zombie world.

Simple put anbu and I have the best plan.
[/quote]

i challenge that, this was actually a topic ive made long time ago and i say my zombie contigency plan really knocked everyone elses out of the park


I am writing this from a fully and completely realistic point of view, I add none of the frivolous magical properties of a ghoul or zombie, and disregard the illogical completely. It is that concept alone that I am working with; that it is a virus. All other concepts are completely scientifically based and we will explore the possibility that a virus such exists in nature and that it has the ability to infect a hosts brain cells (neurons), first by entering the circulatory system via bodily fluid interaction of an infected individual and an uninfected individual, and finally making its way to the neuronal cells and manipulating said cells. a man-made virus (given that that is the most likely scenario for the creation of this virus). I find the idea of realism much more horrifying than fiction. Fiction you can brush off as being something implausible... The following may be fiction, but it is very plausible.

[spoiler=Now skip this if you don't give a f*** about biology]

In order to realistically write a zombie contingency plan, one must have knowledge of how a zombie functions in order to exploit their weaknesses and predict their attacks. I am telling everybody right f***ing now, the anatomy of the zombies outlined in The Zombie Survival Guide is impossible. The zombies would disintegrate, with cells lysing on a scale so grand that there is no way they could eat you/pass on the virus before turning into a pile of mush, let alone have the capacity of movement. Therefore, I am about to discredit any possibility in the known world for a human body to function without the proper systems in place. A virus is considered "pseudoliving" which means that it is not technically alive by the standards of science. Without the host cells machinery, a virus cannot grow or replicate. Thus, a virus must take control of the host cells machinery and use that machinery to create its own DNA and subsequent proteins. This hinges on one very important point, the cell must function as it has always functioned. It needs glucose, fat or protein to begin the aerobic respiration that uses oxygen as a final electron acceptor in the path to making ATP (energy) to run the metabolic processes of the cell.


The implications of this are great, the zombie has to have working lungs to bring oxygen into the system, working circulatory system to transfer said oxygen along with nutrients and wastes, and systems which can eliminate said wastes. This brings into light the very real weaknesses of the zombie. It must be "living" for all intents and purposes, but that does not mean it will be easy to kill. Here's the kicker: The virus can manipulate the cells. The neuronal cells that stop replicating in adult humans are once again capable of regeneration, a virus can lie dormant in a cell for very long periods of time (as evidenced by HIV, which progresses into AIDs once the virus decides to lyse the cells releasing the virus into the system) and make the cell replicate with viral DNA in the nucleus creating hundreds of cells with viral DNA in them. This means the virus will make the neuronal cells replicate, creating millions of new neurons each with viral DNA in them, each with the ability to control more of the processes of the human brain. One may also imply that the zombie is much smarter than your average human being, with a larger number of neuronal cells capable of propagating larger numbers of signals at a faster speed. I contest the idea that zombies are stumbling creatures with an off-kilter gate and little hand-eye coordination.

I believe that this hypothetical virus would create extremely intelligent humans which it would have full control over, by producing the proteins and enzymes of its own DNA rather than that of the original cell, it would be fully plausible that the human infected with this virus would be controlled by the desires of the virus, which would be to infect new hosts. Also, the infected individual would not be the same person they were in their lives with everything from memories to basic wants and desires being manipulated and changed by the virus. The zombie would also have a heightened set of sensory systems, and it's plausible that the neural signals from their external body are blocked by the virus in the CNS, reducing and possibly eliminating the effects of pain or touch sensation. Furthermore, they may act with a hive mentality, working towards a common goal (and remember, they're smart), and their circulatory system may be routed in order to increase the amount of blood to the muscles, increasing their strength and agility. The most horrific realization: They may look completely normal. The virus does not necessarily impact their vocal chords, and they would look like a regular human being. Their behavior would be notably different, but they could pass the virus on before the realization of what has happened is fully recognized.

real horror...[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Contingency Plan]

With this knowledge in place, we can begin to determine what will and what will not work. Quarantines will be key in containing the virus to large areas, given our inability to distinguish the zombies from the humans, large quarantine areas will be key. All air and sea ports should be shut down, and control of the army and air bases is essential. since viral particles are pseudoliving and can enter a dormant stage if not active in a cell (such is the case when they are housed within a water molecule, such as on a humid day). Dry climates are best due to such conditions, especially since a zombie lacks any other desire than to pass on its virus and thus does not drink, dehydration would be a good way to defeat them. Other ways to kill the zombies via natural causes would be to expose them to harsh environmental conditions, such as the extreme hot or cold, high saline, low/high pH and anoxic environments all fit the bill. Thus, the best areas to flee to would be the deserts, the higher and lower altitudes and the poles. The worst places would be the mountains, valleys, jungles and tropics.


Also, since they are human we can kill them if it comes down to that. We would want to see them coming given that a more intelligent being would outsmart us in a terrain war using the mountains or valleys. The plains and deserts are ideal for such a situation. you can watch your dog run away for three days, is a good place to be for a zombie apocalypse. This is where the plan gets sleazy and corrupt. We need to get rid of these zombies before they kill us all, and we have to do it in a way that causes the least amount of damage, least bloodshed (especially into the water systems; I'll say it again, viruses are pseudoliving, they can live in the soil and water forever until it attaches to a host cell whose machinery it can manipulate) and the most successful. Thus we will need two plans, one for "the bait" and one for "the survivors." You're reading the survivors guide. The bait will be those that believe a virus can evoke a stage of being "undead" in which these things cannot be killed and the mountains and valleys should be used to hide from and trick them.


The survivors guide is for those that know these f***ers are smarter than us, and would kick our ass in a terrain based war of wit. Trust me, this is necessary. Think of the people we could get to follow the bait guide? Bush, Hannah Montana, the Jonas Brothers, beiber etc. I'm beginning to WELCOME the zombie apocalypse. Anyways, we can lure the zombies into the valleys and mountains, from there dams can be taken out and landslides created provided we still have control of the army bases (I thank you Wright brothers). Meanwhile, safe zones can be created and established in areas where the weather would kill any remaining zombies in a disposable manner (such as through freezing, and might I add that if you freeze a zombie it would be much like freezing a human, where the plasma and extra/intracellular fluid freezes into crystals which would tear the cells apart resulting in death). Due to the high communicability, the zombie bodies will have to be destroyed, I'm thinking a controlled nuclear blast in the areas the zombies were lured to. Fire is a good way to kill a virus, since even the pseudoliving cannot deny the destructive powers of heat to proteins which make up their outer coat. Thus, to the areas where any remaining zombies fled to and eventually died due to extreme environmental conditions, let the forest fires reign.

Note: this plan is kind of geared toward North and South America following the quarantine, it can be applied to Europe as well. Japan, if they got hit with this virus, they're kind of screwed. Britain, you're screwed. Australia... well you guys have all that poisonous stuff, so I'm pretty sure the zombies are afraid of you. China, f***ing nuke them if this happens, because with that high of a population they are f***ed. Canada, Russia and the Scandinavian countries will pull through nicely, and the US, if you guys don't go all batshit on me, you'll be alright (I'm talking to you Utah, you and your Mormons, lol.)[/spoiler]

[D.A._Sakuyamon]

[quote name='Thatnoobkorean' timestamp='1303277495' post='5153615']
i challenge that, this was actually a topic ive made long time ago and i say my zombie contigency plan really knocked everyone elses out of the park


I am writing this from a fully and completely realistic point of view, I add none of the frivolous magical properties of a ghoul or zombie, and disregard the illogical completely. It is that concept alone that I am working with; that it is a virus. All other concepts are completely scientifically based and we will explore the possibility that a virus such exists in nature and that it has the ability to infect a hosts brain cells (neurons), first by entering the circulatory system via bodily fluid interaction of an infected individual and an uninfected individual, and finally making its way to the neuronal cells and manipulating said cells. a man-made virus (given that that is the most likely scenario for the creation of this virus). I find the idea of realism much more horrifying than fiction. Fiction you can brush off as being something implausible... The following may be fiction, but it is very plausible.

[spoiler=Now skip this if you don't give a f*** about biology]

In order to realistically write a zombie contingency plan, one must have knowledge of how a zombie functions in order to exploit their weaknesses and predict their attacks. I am telling everybody right f***ing now, the anatomy of the zombies outlined in The Zombie Survival Guide is impossible. The zombies would disintegrate, with cells lysing on a scale so grand that there is no way they could eat you/pass on the virus before turning into a pile of mush, let alone have the capacity of movement. Therefore, I am about to discredit any possibility in the known world for a human body to function without the proper systems in place. A virus is considered "pseudoliving" which means that it is not technically alive by the standards of science. Without the host cells machinery, a virus cannot grow or replicate. Thus, a virus must take control of the host cells machinery and use that machinery to create its own DNA and subsequent proteins. This hinges on one very important point, the cell must function as it has always functioned. It needs glucose, fat or protein to begin the aerobic respiration that uses oxygen as a final electron acceptor in the path to making ATP (energy) to run the metabolic processes of the cell.


The implications of this are great, the zombie has to have working lungs to bring oxygen into the system, working circulatory system to transfer said oxygen along with nutrients and wastes, and systems which can eliminate said wastes. This brings into light the very real weaknesses of the zombie. It must be "living" for all intents and purposes, but that does not mean it will be easy to kill. Here's the kicker: The virus can manipulate the cells. The neuronal cells that stop replicating in adult humans are once again capable of regeneration, a virus can lie dormant in a cell for very long periods of time (as evidenced by HIV, which progresses into AIDs once the virus decides to lyse the cells releasing the virus into the system) and make the cell replicate with viral DNA in the nucleus creating hundreds of cells with viral DNA in them. This means the virus will make the neuronal cells replicate, creating millions of new neurons each with viral DNA in them, each with the ability to control more of the processes of the human brain. One may also imply that the zombie is much smarter than your average human being, with a larger number of neuronal cells capable of propagating larger numbers of signals at a faster speed. I contest the idea that zombies are stumbling creatures with an off-kilter gate and little hand-eye coordination.

I believe that this hypothetical virus would create extremely intelligent humans which it would have full control over, by producing the proteins and enzymes of its own DNA rather than that of the original cell, it would be fully plausible that the human infected with this virus would be controlled by the desires of the virus, which would be to infect new hosts. Also, the infected individual would not be the same person they were in their lives with everything from memories to basic wants and desires being manipulated and changed by the virus. The zombie would also have a heightened set of sensory systems, and it's plausible that the neural signals from their external body are blocked by the virus in the CNS, reducing and possibly eliminating the effects of pain or touch sensation. Furthermore, they may act with a hive mentality, working towards a common goal (and remember, they're smart), and their circulatory system may be routed in order to increase the amount of blood to the muscles, increasing their strength and agility. The most horrific realization: They may look completely normal. The virus does not necessarily impact their vocal chords, and they would look like a regular human being. Their behavior would be notably different, but they could pass the virus on before the realization of what has happened is fully recognized.

real horror...[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Contingency Plan]

With this knowledge in place, we can begin to determine what will and what will not work. Quarantines will be key in containing the virus to large areas, given our inability to distinguish the zombies from the humans, large quarantine areas will be key. All air and sea ports should be shut down, and control of the army and air bases is essential. since viral particles are pseudoliving and can enter a dormant stage if not active in a cell (such is the case when they are housed within a water molecule, such as on a humid day). Dry climates are best due to such conditions, especially since a zombie lacks any other desire than to pass on its virus and thus does not drink, dehydration would be a good way to defeat them. Other ways to kill the zombies via natural causes would be to expose them to harsh environmental conditions, such as the extreme hot or cold, high saline, low/high pH and anoxic environments all fit the bill. Thus, the best areas to flee to would be the deserts, the higher and lower altitudes and the poles. The worst places would be the mountains, valleys, jungles and tropics.


Also, since they are human we can kill them if it comes down to that. We would want to see them coming given that a more intelligent being would outsmart us in a terrain war using the mountains or valleys. The plains and deserts are ideal for such a situation. you can watch your dog run away for three days, is a good place to be for a zombie apocalypse. This is where the plan gets sleazy and corrupt. We need to get rid of these zombies before they kill us all, and we have to do it in a way that causes the least amount of damage, least bloodshed (especially into the water systems; I'll say it again, viruses are pseudoliving, they can live in the soil and water forever until it attaches to a host cell whose machinery it can manipulate) and the most successful. Thus we will need two plans, one for "the bait" and one for "the survivors." You're reading the survivors guide. The bait will be those that believe a virus can evoke a stage of being "undead" in which these things cannot be killed and the mountains and valleys should be used to hide from and trick them.


The survivors guide is for those that know these f***ers are smarter than us, and would kick our ass in a terrain based war of wit. Trust me, this is necessary. Think of the people we could get to follow the bait guide? Bush, Hannah Montana, the Jonas Brothers, beiber etc. I'm beginning to WELCOME the zombie apocalypse. Anyways, we can lure the zombies into the valleys and mountains, from there dams can be taken out and landslides created provided we still have control of the army bases (I thank you Wright brothers). Meanwhile, safe zones can be created and established in areas where the weather would kill any remaining zombies in a disposable manner (such as through freezing, and might I add that if you freeze a zombie it would be much like freezing a human, where the plasma and extra/intracellular fluid freezes into crystals which would tear the cells apart resulting in death). Due to the high communicability, the zombie bodies will have to be destroyed, I'm thinking a controlled nuclear blast in the areas the zombies were lured to. Fire is a good way to kill a virus, since even the pseudoliving cannot deny the destructive powers of heat to proteins which make up their outer coat. Thus, to the areas where any remaining zombies fled to and eventually died due to extreme environmental conditions, let the forest fires reign.

Note: this plan is kind of geared toward North and South America following the quarantine, it can be applied to Europe as well. Japan, if they got hit with this virus, they're kind of screwed. Britain, you're screwed. Australia... well you guys have all that poisonous stuff, so I'm pretty sure the zombies are afraid of you. China, f***ing nuke them if this happens, because with that high of a population they are f***ed. Canada, Russia and the Scandinavian countries will pull through nicely, and the US, if you guys don't go all batshit on me, you'll be alright (I'm talking to you Utah, you and your Mormons, lol.)[/spoiler]
[/quote]

umm.............how was that challenging me (read everything)

[Legend Zero]

[IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/ev40uw.jpg[/IMG]

[RaltZ]

[quote name='Sabotage' timestamp='1303277317' post='5153612']
icwatudidthar.




I would grab the nearest garden tool and climb on top of buildings, only leaving said buildings to search for food and better weapons.
[/quote]
Why a garden tool? Don't you think It would be better to grab, oh I don't know, a gun? I mean, I guess you would need it when you're ammo runs out. And what will you do when the zombies get to you on top of the buildings?