KAX Ko Kitty KAX Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 [img]http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/1782/428072.jpg[/img] When summoned face up in atk position special summon a card with "Flonne" or Pleinair" in its name from your hand to the field. If none are summoned during the battle phase this card is banished. hows that? [img]http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/1782/428072.jpg[/img] When summoned face up in atk position special summon a card with "Etna" or Pleinair" in its name from your hand to the field. If none are summoned during the battle phase this card is banished. [img]http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/1782/428072.jpg[/img] Son of the famed King Krichevskoy seeks the throne as the overlord of the Netherworld. [img]http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/1782/428072.jpg[/img] These cards are edited and i need to know if the wording needs change or if its just not fair whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmperorNiro Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Yea actually i am pretty familiar with this anime,but i must say you've got a whole lot of mistakes 1. OCG Error 2. when they say banished you should type in: destroy 3. try not to put two of the same person with different looks name and effect 4. if the effect of Etna includes Flonne or Pleniar then you should make those cards. Try fixing these errors and the cards could be good! And i advise putting in characters from the 2nd season and MID BOSS!!! i would give it a 4/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAX Ko Kitty KAX Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 O i have Pleinair and Flonne cards made already just not posted. i'm trying to be more precise with my wordings. The Dark Adonis(Mid-Boss) will show a few times with this deck. I just need to have these cards checked before i post the others. From what i read "Banished" is a replacement for remove from play, and i want this card and the others removed from play. I don't want these strong effect cards to return easy, so i rather them banished not destroyed. All Disgaea characters will appear, from all seasons and games. Im still getting used to the OCG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time Psyduck Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Both Etna and Overlord Laharl's effects make them terrible, and they're not easy to work out. From what I can see, they need you to summon the other monster or they get banished. Why? Is it something to do with the series, in which case there's probably a way to show that without making the cards horrible, or is it just something you thought might be interesting? At the very least make the effect only work if it's Normal Summoned, so you don't need to have an entire hand of specific monsters to do anything. Demon Lord Laharl's text is OK, but doesn't seem to read quite right. I'd recommend something like: "The son of a famous king, this young warrior seeks to become the ruler of the netherworld." For a better idea of what to put, look at some real normal monsters. Seven Swords reflection went from good pushing broken to basically useless. As far as I can work it out, if you take piercing damage the monster that inflicted that damage is destroyed. It's now worse than Sakuretsu Armor, which is in turn worse than Dimensional Prison and Mirror Force. What does 'reflect' mean? It's not an official term, so no-one but you actually knows what happens when the card activates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAX Ko Kitty KAX Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 [img]http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/5973/428072z.jpg[/img] First Toon to the deck. I will read up on Toon world and Toon cards alike though replying and telling me whats wrong and what needs changing would be very helpful. Thx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FF Fan Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 If they're demons shouldn't they be Fiend or Zombie types? Also why throw in the random FF card and what the hell is a Quick-Play Trap? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAX Ko Kitty KAX Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 [img]http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/1782/428072.jpg[/img] yeah basically i thought it would be nice to have an easy way to summon monsters with a gruesome effect. though i can change it a bit. Like from being banished to unable to attack during the next battle phase. Or do you have a good way to change it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmperorNiro Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Lol quick play trap traps ARE quick play as long as you set them and besides if you want t remove from play monsters you should use it as a sumoning condition or something. Now you remove from play monsters andc ards just making them useless cards that only mabye you would know how to use so i advise switching banished to destroy and also like Time Psyduck said you should fix the trap card and don't make pleniar toon. toons are useless usnless you have toon world in your deck and i dont advise putting tooworld in your Disgaea deck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAX Ko Kitty KAX Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 The FF card is part of another deck but i didn't think it would work out so i posted it with the others to see if it was ok. [img]http://img571.imageshack.us/img571/1782/428072.jpg[/img] ah roger that Prince. [img]http://img545.imageshack.us/img545/1782/428072.jpg[/img] [img]http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/1782/428072.jpg[/img] [img]http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/1782/428072.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mors Secundis Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 I'm sorry Dude/Dudette, I'm not a fan of these. 1.Ocg Is very wrong, You should revise that and remake them. 2.Those pictures don't have much going on, and the ones which are supposed to be related don't look very alike. Sorry, Its going to be a very poor 3/10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAX Ko Kitty KAX Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Tell me whats wrong with the OCG on these cards, just telling me to revise everything may not make it any better then it is now. Not all cards made in this game will look alike, simply stating they don't look alike seems lazy. Am i supposed to have the same back round or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmperorNiro Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Ok if you want some OCG error fixing this is what you should pratice on: words like Normal Summon Tribute Summon Set or Special Summon must have the first letter capitalized and for Laharl and Etna you should type: When this card is Normal Summoned or like When this card is Tribute Summoned. Wow man this post is getting so many views and comments you r lucky i never get any visits at my posts lolAlso i need to ask you do you have any real life cards? if you do then you can look up the OCG or if not you can goto a wiki that shows the cards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAX Ko Kitty KAX Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 [img]http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/1782/428072.jpg[/img] [img]http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/1782/428072.jpg[/img] Around 50+ views isn't really much though. Ok edited Prince, is that better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmperorNiro Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Better but when you say Summon something type "Summoned in" instead of Tribute Summoned face up also atk and def must be capd like this: ATK, DEFYea 50 views is better than my 2 views T_Talso barely anyone comment[quote name='FF Fan' timestamp='1308162849' post='5285439'] If they're demons shouldn't they be Fiend or Zombie types? Also why throw in the random FF card and what the hell is a Quick-Play Trap? [/quote] They are minions but they are more of warriors than fiends/zombies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAX Ko Kitty KAX Posted June 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 [img]http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/1782/428072.jpg[/img] [img]http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/1782/428072.jpg[/img] Edited, Better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time Psyduck Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 Seven Swords is a worse version of Sakuretsu Armor. If it's going to compete with current anti-attack traps it needs some selling point that makes it different to them without being broken. Look up the effects of Mirror Force, Negate Attack, Dimensional Prison, Draining Shield, Magic Cylinder and Threatening Roar. I'm still not seeing why the effect monsters are being destroyed if you don't summon the other monsters. They don't have any other effect, and they're not impressive in terms of ATK. If it's the other monsters that are summoned with the good effect, then you're better off having one of these monsters out a condition for summoning for the other monsters. Also, the last sentence should probably read "If you do not Summon a monster by this effect, destroy this card at the end of the Battle Phase." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmperorNiro Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 lol raise the attack and dont destroy at end of battle phase even if you want to destroy destroy at the end of the turn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAX Ko Kitty KAX Posted June 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Ok well kinda burned me down here but i'll change em then. Thanks for the help everyone gave me, also helping me a bunch with the OCG. Cards are edited and i'll post more in a different thread when im done. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmperorNiro Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Good LUck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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