Zakuza13 Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 My Gurren Lagann Cards [spoiler=Team Dai Gurren] [img]http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/7717/446370.jpg[/img][img]http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/5972/446370o.jpg[/img][img]http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/7717/446370.jpg[/img][img]http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/2626/446370k.jpg[/img][img]http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/7717/446370.jpg[/img][/spoiler] [spoiler=Gunman and Lagann][img]http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/7717/446370.jpg[/img] [img]http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/1563/446370x.jpg[/img][img]http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/7717/446370.jpg[/img][img]http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/7717/446370.jpg[/img][img]http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/7717/446370.jpg[/img][img]http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/7717/446370.jpg[/img][/spoiler] [spoiler=Spell Cards][img]http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/7717/446370.jpg[/img][img]http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/7717/446370.jpg[/img] [img]http://img845.imageshack.us/img845/1563/446370x.jpg[/img][/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nu-Mou Knight Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 Not bad for a first card. You're effect wording is a bit off though. Here's a few tips: Cards rarely reference themselves, usually as an exclusion to their own effect. In most other contexts, just type "this card". Commas should be placed where you would in normal writing. In other words, it should say "While this card is face-up on the field,...". When referencing a specific card, in should be in quotes. "Get a boost" is incorrect, and ATK and DEF should be capitalized. Also, "points" is used whenever ATK and/or DEF are referenced. The popular writing would be "...gain 1000 ATK and DEF points." I write "Increase the ATK and DEF of "Card 1" by XXXX points", but that's just what I've always been used to. 6/10. Keep it up, you show some promise. Since you just added Kamina, there is 1 other issue. "Special Summon" and other such words are to be capitalized. "Hand", "field", and "you" are exempt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nu-Mou Knight Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 Alrighty, let's work on these new guys. First off, try not to put new cards in a separate post. Simply edit them into your original card post, and just make a new post to say that you've updated. Second, Levels are something I've noticed you're having a problem with. [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Level"]This page[/url] of the Yu-Gi-Oh Wiki shows what I'm talking about. Levels are usually based off of a monster's ATK, though in some cases DEF and effects are also taken into consideration. In view of this, Kittan should be Level 4 since 1900 is usually a Level 4 ATK, Simon should be 2 or 3 since he's only 1000 ATK and DEF, and the Mechs should be Level 1s, since the have no ATK or DEF of their own. Third, this may be just me, but did you mean to make them all LIGHT Attribute? Also, Divine is usually reserved for cards referencing Gods or other ridiculously powerful figures, not Mechs. Also, Types. Do not make up fake ones, unless they serve a specific purpose. You could simply make Lagann and Gurren Machine-Types, and have their names be "Lagann" and "Gunman Gurren". OCG: "Also" is unnecessary in effects. Just continue with typing the effect. If you start with a separate effect, it is understood that it's a completely different application. At the end of Yoko's effect, "Yoko" doesn't do the destroying. "You" do. Maybe you missed the edit to my previous post, but words and phrases like "Deck" and "Special Summon" are supposed to be capitalized. Some, like "field" and "hand", are exempt. The mechs are Unions, which is good. It shows you're learning to use other card types. However, all Union monsters have certain sections of text. I encourage you to visit the YGO Wiki and look through a few Union monsters, then adapt their text to the intended functions of Gurren and Lagann. Spiral Universe is interesting, but it's wording is also messed up. Field cards don't require the phrase "As long as this card is on the field". It should say something like "When a monster gains ATK and DEF by the effect of a "Gunman" or "Lagann" monster, double the ATK and DEF gained." Giga Drill Breaker is also somewhat poorly done. Since you don't have any "Gurren Lagann" monster, I'd assume they'll all have that in their name somewhere, correct? If that is the case, allow me to fix it for you: "This card can only be activated while you have "Kittan" equipped with "King Kittan" or a monster with "Gurren Lagann" in it's card name on your side of the field. Multiply the ATK of all "Kittan" equipped with "King Kattan" and monsters with "Gurren Lagann" in their card name x3 and destroy all monster on your opponent's side of the field. Okay, I think that's it. If you need further help with these or are unsure of something, feel free to PM me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zakuza13 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mew 2.0 Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Mild OCG errors sprinkled through out all the cards. Give them a good hard reading and you'll see them. Also, am i supposed to know these characters from somewhere else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ieyasu Tokugawa Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Outside of OCG, I tend to back away when I see cards that rely on other specific cards that have no searchability. Yeah, I know this isn't realistic cards, but I still like to see playable decks out of what people have made, and this seems like dead draws everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zakuza13 Posted August 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 bump comment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 Hmmm, these cards are not bad at all. I haven't watched Gurren Lagann yet, but I might now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zakuza13 Posted August 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 thanks and gurren lagann is good you should watch it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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